Listen y'all, I know I said that I had the next chapter ready already, but it was just way too much fun seeing everyone wonder about what will happen next. I should not be able to have cliffhangers...

Anyways, THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ALMOST 6K READS! I'm still not over the fact that this fic is #9 in the Taeten rankings, it's crazy.

I always thought I would eventually need to turn off my notifications for this fic's comments as it grew more popular, but I just have so much fun reading y'all's comments. They're so entertaining lmao.

Also itsraininglol or whatever your ugly ass name is, CHANGE IT.

That being said, enjoy!

Ten burst through the doors of the hospital, ignoring the many people who looked at him. His eyes automatically found Doyoung, who was at the front counter talking to the nurses.

"Doyoung!" Ten said, walking briskly towards him.

Doyung looked over, turning to him while running his hands over the lapels of his coat. He sighed heavily, and Ten noticed how exhausted he looked.

"Ten, hey... I was just talking to the nurses about Taeyong. I'm sorry but he's going to be suspended from the outdoors for a while. I managed to lessen it a little bit by a few days though and-."

"I don't care about that right now." Ten said, closing his eyes and shaking his head. Although the news alarmed him, all he wanted to do right now was see Taeyong.

Doyoung looked at the other, surprised. He looked thoughtfully at Ten, like he was trying to read what he did care about, before it clicked. He nodded. "He's in his room. You may go see him."

Ten said a quick 'thank you', before dashing for the all so familiar hallway.

He stopped at the door, staring at the keypad for a little bit. With one last sigh, he unlocked the door and pushed it open.

What welcomed Ten shook him to his core with panic.

Taeyong was sitting on his bed, staring out the window. This was normal, but he had cuts and bruises littered all over his skin. He didn't even turn to Ten like he usually would when he walked in.

"Taeyong." Ten said, rushing across the room to get to the other. He stood in front of him, but Taeyong didn't turn to him. He didn't even glance his way.

"Taeyong? Hey, look at me." He tried again, reaching around and cupping the patient's face.

He gently pulled the other to look at him by the cheeks, inhaling harshly when he saw the extent of the other's injuries.

There was a purple and swelling bruise on his cheek, which looked almost connected to the yellowish purple around his black eye. To top it all off, there was a deep cut on his lip that was close to bleeding again.

But what extremely worried Ten, were the tears in his eyes. They were pooling, but the other never let them fall, instead he stared back at Ten, with the most dead expression the shorter had ever seen.

Suddenly, Taeyong reached up and grasped Ten's wrists, tearing it away from his cheeks and throwing them back to the smaller's sides.

Ten was shocked by this action. Through the action, he felt the sense of rejection, but also fear from the other. He didn't know why this emotion came through, but the tight grip and hesitance to tear away from the touch portrayed nothing but that feeling.

"Taeyong..." Ten called, as the other turned back to the window.

He looked for any signs of reaction from the address, and he noticed that the other's hands were clenching, with no stress ball in them. He looked around and saw the cherry shaped object lying on the ground across the room.

He looked back to the other in an almost desperate look.

"Taeyong, what-"

"Go." The patient finally spoke. His voice was dry and raspy, like he hadn't spoken in days.

Ten was shocked by that one word. One word was all it took to cause a ringing in Ten's ears, and a sweat in his palms.

He had never once been told to leave by the other. Sure, when they had first met, Taeyong had said something of the sort, but he had never sounded so tired and sure that he wanted him gone.

"Taeyong... I don't-"

"Go." Taeyong said again, this time louder. His fists started shaking from how hard they were clenched, and Ten knew the other was just as burned from his words as he was.

Then why?

After a moment, Ten closed his eyes and spoke again, this time calm and soft.

"You really want me to go?" he asked.

"Yes." Taeyong answered quickly. He turned to the therapist. The tears were still in his eyes, yet still, none of them were let go. His breath was slightly labored, like he was trying to stop himself from taking back the words.

"Yes, I want you to leave. I never want to see you again, so just leave!"

Ten didn't flinch, he didn't even move a muscle. He was more shocked at Taeyong's outbreak than scared. His heart shattered at the other's face. He still sensed the fear behind the harsh words, and while Ten wanted to comfort him and ask him what had happened, he knew the other genuinely needed space.

With tears in his eyes, and shaky hands, he spoke while nodding. "Okay... Okay, I'll give you some time alone."

He finally turned to walk away once Taeyong huffed shakily and turned back to the window.

He walked across the room, slowly. The silence was deafening, all that could be heard was Taeyong's shaky breaths, making his stop for a moment.

He then started walking again, this time a little faster and more determined.

He walked back to the other's bed, stopping in front of it and gently placing something next to him, looking earnestly into Taeyong's averted eyes, before finally walking out.

Doyoung was there waiting outside the door. His head shot up after seeing Ten walk out. He looked shocked, seeing Ten's teary eyes and slightly angry frown.

Ten stood with his arms at his sides, his feet planted, and his back straight. Doyoung looked a little frightened by the usually bubbly personality looking now so ruined.

The doctor gulped, hearing Ten's authoritative voice.

"What the hell happened?"

****

Four hours earlier

Taeyong had been holed up in his room reading the magazine for who knows how long. He read most of it already, accidentally falling asleep at some points, but he pushed through, too interested to stop.

Some of the advice was annoyingly helpful and accurate, and Taeyong almost wanted to apologize to the writer for doubting them... almost.

He had been reading about the beginning of feelings the entire time, and now, he had sat up after finding that the next pages were about actually acting on your feelings and impressing your crush.

He sat up against the wall on his bed, his eyes straining to read in the dark.

'Now that you know that you like this lucky person, it's time to act on those feelings. This chapter is about impressing your crush, from getting them into bed to make passionate, sweet love, to cuddling on a blanket, under the stars.'

Am I really reading this shit? Taeyong thought after reading the cheesiest lines ever written. He shook his head and continued.

'Now, this answer seems obvious, but it's about how you perform it that truly matters.

Dates.

That's, right, dates. Something everyone fantasizes about. Whether it's a fancy starlit dinner, or takeout in an apartment, it's something everyone wants to experience.'

Debatable, Taeyong thought.

The idea of dates had never entered his mind of the things he could do with Ten.

He frowned, realizing that he can't really take him anywhere for dates, unless walking through the halls of a hospital is romantic. The idea dispirited him a bit, but he continued to read through the bright and colorful pages.

'Some of the best dates are the ones where you sit and admire nature. Another is going to the amusement park, laughing and enjoying each other's presence. Even sitting on a bench in a park can be romantic.

Anything you put your mind to, that gets you two out and about, really engages both of you into having a good time, because you're enjoying each other's presence in the middle of a crowded area, rather than a janky room.'

Taeyong furrowed his brows. I can't do any of that.

It was true, he couldn't take Ten to the amusement park, or sit by a pond. He couldn't even take him to a normal room, instead his only option was the cold room he was sitting in right now. He didn't have candles, and he couldn't have them, for that matter. Who would give candles to a fucking patient at a hospital, Taeyong thought cursedly.

He closed the magazine, unmotivated to read any more.

I can't give Ten a normal love life, he thought. I can't even take him on a date.

He felt like a fool, thinking that he could tether Ten down like that.

Who would want to date a mediocre patient like me.

He subconsciously reached up and wiped his tears. He scoffed, not even realizing that he was crying. Fucking idiot.

He threw the magazine from off his bed, lying down and closing his eyes. He was exhausted.

The longer he closed his eyes, the more the mental weight took a toll on him. He felt himself drifting off to sleep, and this time he gave himself to it.

****

Taeyong woke up.

He slowly opened his eyes, wiping the sleep from them as he leisurely sat up. He flinched when he heard someone speak.

"You're finally awake." the voice said.

Taeyong moved his hands away from his eyes, seeing Ten at the edge of his bed.

"Ten? When did you get here?" Taeyong asked with a smile. He was happy to see the other.

"I while ago, you looked so comfortable and cozy. I didn't want to wake you." The smaller responded, putting his phone down.

He got up and started crawling towards Taeyong like a cat. Taeyong smiled softly, watching the other snuggle into his chest. He reached up a hand and began to stroke his head.

"How's Jungwoo?" Taeyong asked. He was expecting an answer, but instead, his eyes met Ten's lust filled orbs.

Ten slowly raised a finger towards Taeyong's lips when he was about to question his actions. He shushed him quietly.

"I don't want to talk right now."

Taeyong felt himself heat up under the other's stare. Through all his rebellious sexual adventures with various people, none of them could work him up the way Ten could, with just a simple stare.

"O-okay, well we can just stay here and cuddle-"

Taeyong's words were cut off by the other's lips. He hummed into the kiss with surprise, but kissed back nonetheless.

Ten kissed him hungrily. Taeyong grew concerned if he was stressed with whatever happened and was simply acting this way to vent.

"Hm," Taeyong said against Ten's lips, signalling the other to stop for a moment. However, no stopping occurred, so Taeyong spoke between kisses. "Are you sure you don't want to talk? I-"

"Shut up." Ten interrupted him, pushing him onto his back. He straddled the other, leaning in again and taking his lips.

Taeyong followed and did what he was told. His body started to heat up even more as Ten's actions went on. He groaned into Ten's lips when the other gently nibbled on his tongue. His hands naturally slithered under his shirt and gripped the flesh of his hips.

Ten arched at the contact from Taeyong's cold hands, cupping his cheeks. He began rocking back and forth, grinding on Taeyong.

Taeyong suddenly withdrew his hands and lightly pushed Ten away by his hip, clutching them to stop the distracting friction.

"Ten, I want you to be able to talk to me."

Ten's lustful stare dissipated as he grew angry, and Taeyong automatically knew that he shouldn't have said that.

"You want to talk to me? Don't try and be some good guy, Taeyong." He said, sitting up.

Taeyong's heart started beating even faster than it was with Ten's lips on his. Ten's angry look shook him to the core, and panic was now written all over his face, lacing his words.

"I-I'm not, I-"

"You think I would want to confide with someone who can't even act sane for one fucking day?" He scoffed with a sarcastic smile.

"Don't start thinking that this," Ten gestured between them. "is actually something."

Taeyong could feel himself break into a cold sweat. "But-"

"You're nothing to me, Taeyong. Don't think that just because you give me pleasure, we're gonna become something more." Ten got off him.

Taeyong could feel tears pooling around the bottom of his eyes. Those words hurt, and the pain increased tenfold as he watched Ten start walking away.

"Ten."

Ten turned around, a condescending look adorning his beautiful features. He inspected Taeyong's state, before speaking.

"You're pathetic."

The door slammed shut.

Taeyong woke up with a gasp, shooting up in his bed. He closed his eyes, wiping away his sweat. He held his face in his hands.

Another nightmare of him walking away from me, Taeyong noticed.

His biggest fear is that nightmare becoming reality.

Suddenly, the beep of the door sounded through the room, startling Taeyong. He quickly wiped his eyes and sniffled right before Doyoung appeared in front of him.

"Hey, Taeyong. I managed to let you eat dinner in the cafeteria today, I thought maybe you would enjoy eating something different for once."

Taeyong stared and nodded. He genuinely appreciated Doyoung reaching out like this, after he had yelled at him.

However, it made him uncomfortable sometimes.

Just like now, as Doyoung stands there and doesn't leave, awkwardly clearing his throat. He opened his mouth to say something, but he quickly closed it and left.

Taeyong sighed once the door closed. Honestly, he didn't enjoy going outside without Ten's presence there with him. It was only the raven haired boy who kept him entertained.

He missed Ten, with everything in him, and it had only been a day.

However, thinking of Ten only hurt him now. Now, he knows that he can never give Ten what he truly deserves, which is someone who can take him anywhere he wants, someone who lets him see anything he wants to see.

You don't deserve to be with Ten. The voice in Taeyong's head spoke, as he got up and headed for the door.

Ten would never date someone as pathetic as you.

Taeyong closed his eyes and sighed. He didn't even try to deny his insecurities, because in his head, they were just truths that he needed to accept.

He walked out his room, turning toward the direction of the cafeteria.

He stopped completely when something caught his eye.

He saw Ten at the front counter, laughing with another man. He was tall, and he looked... normal. Unlike you.

And Ten looked happy.

The man didn't look like Jungwoo, no, he had heard Ten's descriptions about the guy. Jungwoo had caramel brown hair, and this man's hair was closer to black.

He stood there, like he was stuck inside a snow globe, shivering, as he was set down and forced to watch everything he loved be taken away from him.

He lied.

Ten lied to him.

But the worst part was, the only person that Taeyong blamed, was himself.

You'll never be good enough for him.

Let him go.

Set him free from you.

Taeyong walked swiftly to the cafeteria, not looking towards Ten and the man any longer.

****

The lunch was fine. It was just a soup and a sandwich, nothing special.

He was now eating silently, his thoughts suffocating him. They were filled with nothing but doubts and insecurities.

Each thought crossed through his mind, before heading down and stabbing him in the heart like a knife.

The people around him were loud, but to him, nothing was louder than the detrimental thoughts racking his brain.

He didn't blame Ten for lying to him, he completely understood what he did and why.

Ten deserves the best. He is an angel in Taeyong's eyes. But with that, comes the sad reality, that Ten is a sculpture, and he is simply a pedestrian viewing the masterpiece.

He looks all he wants, he can talk to it, admire it, but he will never be able to touch it, or have it talk back to him. He can only admire its beauty, and wish that he was grand enough to be with it.

Ten didn't want Taeyong, but he was too nice to tell him that, so he made up the story about Jungwoo, to protect him.

But why does Taeyong feel like he just had his heart ripped out?

He needs to let Ten go. To make him happy.

His thoughts came to a screeching halt when he overheard a group of men talking about him.

"Isn't that Taeyong?"

"Dude, shut up. What if he hears you?"

"What? He doesn't look as scary as everyone says."

"That's because of his new bitch." Another voice chimed in.

"Oh yeah. What's his name? Nine?"

"It's Ten, you idiot." One of the guys corrected, they all laughed.

Taeyong was used to the harsh words spoken about him. They could talk all they wanted, and he could care less. But at the mention of Ten's name, his ears perked and his heart rate sped up.

"I've seen him before, and damn he's sexy. I can see how he could shut that freak up."

"How?"

"Bro, you're fucking dumb, aren't you? Clearly, they don't actually do any talking"

More laughter. Taeyong's index finger began scratching and picking at the dry skin at the back of his thumb.

"Oh what I would give to have that bitch's ass to myself."

Taeyong felt sweat running down his temples. His jaw and fists both clenched. Ten helped him stop all the triggers of his episodes, so why is he feeling this way?

Why is his vision darkening, and his teeth grinding?

The voices around him became muffled, except for the men behind him. Their voices disgusted him, and he tried to block their words out, but they just kept forcing themselves into his ears.

He tried the breathing exercises with his hands. He can't have an episode. He hadn't had one in months. Not now.

He huffed when he couldn't calm down. He needed the other there.

Ten.

"Well, you're gonna have to point him out to me later."

"Sure thing, and who knows, maybe we can share him." The guy laughed.

Taeyong tried.

"Yeah, right, like he'd want your asses." One of them teased.

He really did.

"Well, what he wants doesn't really matter now does it?" He joked. All of them snickered.

But he failed.

His vision went black.

****

Taeyong's eyes tried to open, only to be closed again when a bright light blinded him. He squinted, trying to get used to the rays that were burning into his pupils.

He tried to cover his eyes with his hands, but something was stopping him. He looked down to find himself tied down to the platform he was lying on. He pulled, trying to get out of the restraints, his body filling with panic.

"Mr. Kim! He's awake!" Someone yelled.

Taeyong looked over and saw that it was one of the nurses who had yelled. He looked around and finally realized that he was in Doyoung's hospital room. 

He shot his head toward the door when it flung open. It was Doyoung who came in. The nurse walked out, leaving the two of them alone in the room that Taeyong always hated.

Doyoung walked to the counter across the room, washing his hands.

"Why am I here?" Taeyong asked after a moment. It hurt to speak, like a thousand needles prickling at his throat.

Doyoung turned around, surprised. He quickly dried his hands, throwing the paper towel away after. He turned to Taeyong again.

"What do you remember?" he asked. He pulled out the medical school from under the sink, pulling it next to Taeyong. He grabbed a clipboard. He clicked his pen, ready to take notes.

It was silent for a moment, as Taeyong was trying to remember what happened. Doyoung watched and gave the other time to ponder the question.

"Oh." Doyoung said, standing up. He unbuckled the restraints that were keeping Taeyong down. "Sorry, I almost forgot."

Taeyong responded only with a nod. He sat up on the hard metal, letting his legs dangle.

After a minute, Taeyong started speaking.

"I remember eating... in the cafeteria. These... guys were saying these... awful things about Ten."

"What were they saying?" Doyoung asked.

Taeyong tried to find the will to recall the words out loud, but he couldn't. He shook his head and looked at his hands. He noticed his knuckles were bruised and cut, giving him a faint idea of what he had done.

"Taeyong," Doyoung started. "I'm trying to help you. And I can't do that if you won't tell me what happened. Please."

Taeyong sighed. "They... talked about having... having sex with him, and that his consent wouldn't matter." He bit his lip, trying to control himself and not think about it too much.

Doyoung grimaced. He had heard about vulgar language being heard all the time, but hearing it was never pleasant. However, it was only expected. All sorts of people who are addicted to drugs and alcohol were bound to be reckless like that.

"And what exactly do you think caused your episode?"

Taeyong looked up in surprise. He already kind of knew he had one, but hearing that he did still surprised him.

He grew disappointed in himself. Ten had worked so hard to stop his episodes, and he went and ruined it.

All his hard work, and I ruined it, he cursed himself.

But what did cause this?

"I don't really know... I think... part of it was what they said about Ten, but also... I guess... one of my biggest fears... is something that I've been through happening to the person I care about most."

Doyoung looked at Taeyong with a mixture of emotions. Taeyong saw pity, surprise, and a little bit of giddiness, although he didn't know what that last one came from. What's there to be happy about, Taeyong wondered.

"Well..." Doyoung spoke after he seemed to be broken out of his reverie. "Thank you, for opening up like that to me. It really shows me that you're trying."

Taeyong nodded shyly at the praise. He never handled things like that well, mostly because he never really receives it.

"What... what did I do?" He spoke in a feeble voice. He's always afraid to hear what he had done after an episode, but this time, that fear was multiplied ten-fold. He hated the idea of letting Ten down like this. He closed his eyes, but all he saw was Ten's disgusted face from his dream.

You're pathetic.

He squeezed his eyes tightly, before opening them and focusing them on Doyoung.

Doyoung inhaled apprehensively, before starting slowly. "Well... after you entered into your episode, I got a notice of it. I came into the cafeteria to see you beating the three men up. I have to say, for three against, one, I'm surprised you have such a little amount of bruises. It took three of our strongest nurses and sedatives to stop you. Remind me to call you if I'm ever in trouble." he joked.

This gave Doyoung the pleasure of watching a small smile grace Taeyong's lips. The doctor swore he would never fully get used to seeing his smile. It was something that he always tried so hard to bring out, but he never succeeded until Ten came along.

"Are they..." Taeyong asked, pushing down the worry that was rising up his throat.

"Okay?"

Taeyong nodded.

"Well... you did beat them all up pretty badly. Thankfully, there were no broken bones, but they were all sent to the infirmary for some stitches."

Taeyong looked down in shame, rubbing his injured knuckles.

"Honestly, Taeyong? I don't find myself disappointed about what happened, after knowing why you did it. I'll try my hardest to reduce the suspension time, but it's gonna be pretty high."

Taeyong nodded.

Doyoung got up, heading towards the door. "I'm gonna go take these papers to the front, show them these, and try to negotiate something. Head back to your room and be careful, don't give me another reason to not trust you.

As the door opened, and Doyoung was about to leave, Taeyong called for him.

"Doyoung."

Doyoung turned around with a hum.

"Thank you... for trusting me, after everything."

Doyoung's expression softened. "I finally know that you never mean to hurt anyone, and I'm not going to risk taking that away by tying you down, except when I have to, of course." He said, gesturing to the restraints he was clasped by earlier.

Taeyong's lip quirked at the last part, nodding to him. Doyoung smiled one last time before leaving.

Taeyong was about to turn back but stopped and looked at the metal table. He saw his reflection in the shiny metal, his face covered in cuts and bruises. He sighed, getting up and walking to his room.

****

Taeyong was sitting in his room, looking out the window. He was exhausted, but he couldn't sleep. A certain someone was isolating him from the world, leaving him in his own thoughts.

I need to let you go.

He heard the door beep, and he had a good idea of who it was, but he didn't look. I can't.

"Taeyong." He heard Ten call.

He heard the footsteps.

He saw him standing in front of him.

Stop.

"Taeyong? Hey, look at me." Ten said.

Taeyong felt the other's warm hands on his cheeks, cupping them. He let himself be comforted by them for a moment, but he quickly squashed that feeling down. Please.

His eyes teared up the moment his face was turned towards Ten. He cursed himself for locking eyes with the other. He needed to be strong, but he knew that Ten could see the fear he felt. At that moment, he hated how well Ten could read him.

He didn't move in Ten's grasp for a moment. He wanted to savor the comforting warmth before he had to force himself to tear away.

Why can't you hate me? Why do you have to be so nice? You're only making it harder for me.

He gently grasped Ten's wrists, and threw them back to his sides. I'm sorry.

He turned back, not wanting to look at the other any longer. It hurt to look at the person he admired the most, when he knew that he would be walking away from him. He tried not to shake at the sound of the other calling for him, so he clenched his fists.

"Taeyong..."

Stop calling my name. Walk away.

He couldn't take it any longer. The moment Ten began to speak again, he interrupted him.

"Taeyong, what-"

"Go." he said. He hated how weak and vulnerable his voice sounded, but he couldn't help it around Ten. The smaller male brings out the parts of him like that, and he can't stop it.

There was a moment of silence, and Taeyong forced himself to stay looking at the window. He didn't want to risk seeing Ten's face, and take it all back.

"Taeyong, I don't-"

"Go." Taeyong said again. He felt the sting of his fists clenching so hard, but it could never compare to the inescapable pain in his heart. Go, before I take it all back, and hold you down even more.

"Do you really want me to go?" He heard Ten ask.

He can't cry right now. You don't deserve to.

"Yes." he said, turning to face the other. He used his frustration at himself as a source of anger against Ten. He immediately regretted looking towards the other, because he wanted to take his words back right away. "Yes, I want you to leave. I never want to see you again, so just leave!" He yelled.

Please.

He grew anxious as Ten didn't move. It made him both confused and angry.

Do you care about me?

Why would you care about something so useless and pathetic?

He hated seeing Ten's eyes fill with tears, and his hands shake.

Stop.

"Okay... Okay, I'll give you some time alone."

Taeyong let out a breath of relief and sadness, turning back to the window.

I'm sorry.

He didn't want the other to leave, but at the same time, he did. It hurt, contradicting himself like that.

He grew restless the longer he didn't hear the beep. His fists were shaking at this point, but anything to keep him from getting up and pulling Ten back. He let out a shaky breath.

Suddenly, he heard the footsteps getting closer. He cursed inwardly, and was about to yell at the other, before he felt something being placed onto the bed. He pushed himself not to look.

When the door was finally shut, he let his tears fall silently.

He looked at what was placed on the bed. It was the stress ball.

With shaky hands, he picked up the object.

He squeezed it as hard as he could, pressing his forehead against it.

He hated himself.

He knows he did the right thing, but it hurts. It hurts so bad.

He allowed a sob to tear his throat, then another, and another, until he completely broke down, sobbing uncontrollably.

****

"You let him eat alone? What the fuck were you thinking?!" Ten yelled at Doyoung. He was seething, and Doyoung feared for his life. He was sitting in his own chair, but it felt like he was the one who was getting scolded, rather than the other way around.

They were in the latter's office, and the doctor had just explained everything to Ten. The therapist was fuming, trying to keep his composure. Everything that had happened, I should have been there, Ten thought.

"I thought it would be nice!" Doyoung countered, but Ten could hear the obvious shame in his voice.

"Nice? Letting someone who had just gotten cleared, eat alone, without any supervision?" Ten yelled. "Do you even know what-"

"I'm trying to be better!" He finally admitted.

Ten looked surprised at the words, and he felt some of his anger dissipate.

"Better?"

"Yes!" Doyoung said, still ashamed but now frustrated as well. "I've been working with Taeyong for years, and I could never got through to him the way you did, in a matter of months. So I tried to be more like you, but clearly, it didn't work." He finished, throwing his hands in the air.

Ten sat down across Doyoung on the chair.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know you felt that way." Ten apologized. He felt awful for blaming the other like that, while not even knowing how he was feeling.

"It's okay, there's no way you could've known." Doyoung consoled.

"No, even still. It wasn't you letting him out alone that caused it, it were those guys. I shouldn't have taken my anger, when anything could've happened even if there was supervision."

Doyoung nodded in understanding.

After a moment, a voice sounded through the room.

"May I ask one thing though?" Ten asked.

"You just did." Doyoung said.

Ten rolled his eyes with a smile.

"What did those guys say that pissed Taeyong off so much?" He asked, giving a questioning look at the tense position that Doyoung took.

Doyoung stared at Ten apprehensively. "I don't think you really want to know."

Ten frowned. "Was it something really bad about Taeyong?"

Doyoung sighed. "Actually, it was something really bad about you."

Ten's brows furrowed. "What was it?"

"Ten, I don't-"

"I can take it, Doyoung." Ten said, a fire blazing in his eyes.

Doyoung gave Ten a look before explaining.

"I don't know exactly what they said, but basically it was that they would have sex with you, consensually, or not."

Ten grimaced. "I mean, I'll take it as a compliment, I guess."

"Ten!"

"What? I'm trying to lighten the mood."

Doyoung stared Ten down. Ten scoffed.

"I'm fine, DoDo, it's not the first time I've been spoken about like that. It's sadly just the world we live in."

"First of all, don't ever, call me by that god awful nickname. The only nickname I have is Doie, and only my boyfriend can call me that. Also, keep talking, what happens if one day something actually happens?"

"Then I'll finally get to show off my self-defense skills."

Doyoung squinted at him like he was an imbecile.

Ten look offended at the skepticism. "C'mon, you think I'd be so confident if I didn't take classes?"

Doyoung conceded, his hands making a gesture of a surrender. "Okay, you win."

Ten smiled triumphantly, bouncing a little bit in his seat. Suddenly, another thought occurred to him.

"Wait, I don't get it, I thought you said Taeyong's episodes were nearly impossible once his triggers go away?" Ten wondered.

"Well, I guess there's a new trigger," Doyoung said, nodding in Ten's direction. "You. I asked him what exactly triggered him, and he said something about 'not wanting to have the person dearest to him experience the same thing he did'."

Ten looked down at his hands, pursing his lips. Taeyong.

"Anyways," Doyoung said, getting up. "Before you got here, I was speaking with the office about Taeyong's suspension. He's suspended for two weeks, and it's been finalized. That means he can't go out for free time, or any time, except going to the showers. He'll be on extremely tight lockdown."

"So, basically what it was like before. Got it." Ten said, nodding. This is just a minor setback, nothing we can't overcome.

Doyoung nodded back. "Oh, and Ten?" He called as Ten was walking out the door. Ten turned to him.

"You shouldn't blame yourself for what happened either. I know I did, but you helped me realize anything could've happened."

Ten smiled sadly. "Thank you Doyoung, but it's a little different for me. I should've at least come to him after my family emergency was finished. It was already over by the time the episode happened. I would've been there to stop it."

Doyoung shook his head. "No, you-"

"It's alright, Doyoung." Ten said, walking out the door, leaving Doyoung dumbfounded.

Ten was walking through the hallways of the hospital, taking his time.

He stopped in front of Taeyong's door, about to press the all too familiar code, before pulling back.

He needs time.

He walked out of the hospital, feeling like a part of him was left behind for Taeyong to keep.

****

"Woo?" Ten called, walking into the apartment.

"In here." Jungwoo called. Ten was surprised by this. He had called for the other to warn him that he was walking in, not wanting to see any less clothes on his brother or Lucas.

He walked into Jungwoo's room, stopping by the door and lightly knocking on it. "Hey."

Jungwoo looked up from his phone, lying on his bed. "Hi."

"I'm surprised there's no Lucas here. I was really expecting my eyes to fall out." He joked.

Jungwoo gave a light chuckle. "We decided to part after the dinner. Lucas didn't have any clothes here, and it just wouldn't fit our schedules. Plus, I was worried about you. You didn't answer any of my messages. Where were you?"

Ten sighed. "I was at the hospital." He said, walking to the bed and lying down in front of Jungwoo. The taller put his phone down, letting Ten rest his head on his stomach. He stroked his brother's hair like he was a kitten.

"The whole time?"

Ten shook his head, causing Jungwoo to giggle at the tickling feeling. "I had lunch with Johnny, then I got the call."

"What happened to 'not wanting to lead him on'?"

"I know, but I really appreciated his help with the surprise for you. I owed him."

Jungwoo hummed. "So, what was the call about?"

Ten sighed again, more tiredly this time. "Taeyong had an episode."

"Really? Is he okay?"

"Yeah. He's a little injured, but the other guys were way worse apparently. It worries me though. I went to see him and he lashed out at me."

Jungwoo grew concerned. "Did he hit you?"

Ten shook his head again. "No, worse. He told me he never wanted to see me again."

"Wow."

"Yeah. He had this... fear in his voice, though, like he was forcing himself to say the words. I just told him I'd give him some time alone. I'll ask him what's going on tomorrow. I just don't hope I didn't do anything to hurt him."

"I'm sure you didn't. Just give him some time, maybe he's just a little shaken up by what happened." Jungwoo told him, still stroking his hair.

He waited for an answer, but never got one. "Ten?" He called out.

He looked down to see Ten breathing calmly, his eyes closed.

He must be exhausted, Jungwoo thought.

He smiled, watching his brother sleep, still massaging his scalp.

"Goodnight, Ten." Jungwoo said, turning off his bedside lamp. He was careful not to wake Ten up, or move his head too much.

****

When Ten walked into the hospital the next day, he tried to give himself some hope. He hoped Taeyong was better today, and that he was ready to talk.

He walked into Taeyong's room, and he was greeted with the same sight as before, Taeyong on his bed, looking out the window. This time, however, he held the stress cherry in his hand.

"Hey, Taeyong." Ten called from across the room.

Taeyong didn't answer.

Like last time, he didn't even spare Ten a glance.

"Listen, I'm so sorry for not being there yesterday. I should've come right when I could."

No answer.

Ten sighed, sitting down on the chair.

"I talked with Doyoung. I know everything that happened. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you."

Nothing.

"Can you at least look at me?" Ten asked. He was desperate for any acknowledgement from the other.

His heart broke into a million pieces when Taeyong didn't respond, yet again.

Ten sighed dejectedly. "Okay, I'll wait." He said.

****

Hours passed by, and Ten was amazed at Taeyong's persistence.

The other hadn't even looked at him in all of that time. It was like they were completely back at square one, except this time, Taeyong seemed too tired to even get mad, or care.

The therapist had done everything, but it was like being with a brick wall.

Taeyong was like a statue, and Ten felt like a simple pedestrian watching him.

He could talk to Taeyong, look at him all he wanted, admire his features, attempt to draw him, but he couldn't touch him, and Taeyong would never respond to him.

He sighed, settling back in the chair. He felt tired, worrying and thinking about everything that could make Taeyong budge.

****

More time passed by, and Ten noticed it was significantly darker when he had looked up from his phone.

He had completed five games on the device, trying everything to distract himself. He felt sleep tugging at his eyelids, like weights that were attached to them, and he resisted it every time.

He didn't want to miss any moment where Taeyong could move from his position.

However, he soon felt himself sinking in his chair, his mind slowly falling into dreamland.

Taeyong.

****

Ten woke up, but something was different.

He was now lying down, and a blanket was covering him. He panicked, thinking that he had gone home in his sleepy state, not realizing it, or worse, that seeing Taeyong was simply all a dream.

But the more he woke up, the more he realized that something was off.

His bedroom didn't have metal walls. His bed wasn't rock hard like this, and his blankets weren't paper thin.

He knew exactly where he was.

He sat up, confused on why he was in Taeyong's bed. He specifically remembered falling asleep in that uncomfortable chair.

He looked over, his gaze softening at the sight before him.

It was Taeyong who was in the chair now, taking his place. He was sleeping, his position as stiff as a board. The stress cherry was still in hands, being gripped tightly, even in his sleep.

Ten took the time to look at the other's face. His cuts and bruises were already starting to heal, and the swelling of his eye had significantly gone down. There were deep eye bags under his eyes, and Ten wondered if he had slept at all last night.

He must've carried me here once I fell asleep, Ten observed.

Why, Taeyong? Why are you doing this? Why couldn't you have carried me when I was awake?

Why are you pushing me away?

Ten got up, making sure to be as quiet as he could, knowing how light of a sleeper Taeyong was. He picked up the blanket, bundling up in his chest as he walked over in an attempt to heat it up.

He shuffled the rest of the way over to Taeyong. He took a moment to simply admire the other's features. He unfurled the blanket, straightening it out a little bit, before laying it on top of the other.

He stood there, not wanting to move yet. This was the first time that day where he got to look at Taeyong.

He leaned in close, cupping Taeyong's cheeks, and pressing his lips against his forehead.

He stayed there, closing his eyes and letting a tear escape.

Why?

I'm sorry for what I did. But please, don't do this to me any longer.

He finally pulled back, wiping his tears, and walking back to the bed. He picked up his phone, checking the time. It was then that he realized that he had been there for the entire day, waiting for the other to just look at him. He had several missed calls and messages from Jungwoo.

He had to get home.

But for some reason, the word home, also felt like the place where he was standing right then and there.

He turned back to the sleeping male, taking in the other's features, which were still as handsome as ever, no matter how many cuts or bruises were on his face.

He sighed, and began to walk towards the door. He stopped at the side of the chair, leaning down and pressing one last kiss against Taeyong's hair, and then walked out.

****

The same thing happened for the next week.

Ten would sit in the same chair, and wait.

But Taeyong never looked at him. He never spoke to him, never moved from his window, he simply sat in the same place on his bed, staring out the window. If his neck hurt, which Ten bet it did, he did a great job at keeping quiet about it.

He sighed as he poured his cup of coffee, something he had resorted to. Thinking about his many failed attempts of getting any reaction from Taeyong was starting to take a physical toll on him.

"Ten..." Jungwoo called. "Are you sure you want to go to work today? Maybe you should take a break and-"

"No!" Ten snapped, turning around from where was standing at the counter.

He immediately regretted the action, when he saw his brother's reaction. Jungwoo looked shocked and almost hurt.

Ten frowned, guilty. "I'm so sorry, Woo."

Jungwoo shook his head, walking forward and hugging him. Ten sighed, allowing himself to relax his head on the other's shoulder.

"It's okay. I know you don't mean it like that." he said, softly. Ten immediately felt calmer under the smooth and bright tone of his voice.

Jungwoo pulled away slightly, looking earnestly into Ten's eyes. "I'm just worried about you. I mean, look at your eyes. I've never seen such bad bags on you before. When's the last time you slept?"

Ten looked like a kitten who was caught doing something naughty. He looked up at the other with the best pouting eyes he could. "Is that a rhetorical question?"

Jungwoo only looked angry at that, shaking his head.

Ten sighed. He looked away, trying to think of the last time he actually slept, even for a second. He honestly didn't remember. Every night, he had tried to sleep, but every time he closed his eyes, he would see Taeyong, sitting in the same position that he just can't take anymore. He's lost the will power to do a lot of things, because he couldn't stop thinking about what the other was doing. At this point, he stopped trying to think about it in a professional way. Instead, he wonders what he could've as Ten, not Ten the therapist.

He just wanted to be held by the other again, and he didn't care how long it would take. His heart ached every day, and while he thought that at least seeing Taeyong would help, it only made it worse.

"I don't know..." Ten finally answered, his eyes filling with tears. "I can't sleep... I just can't. I miss him, so fucking much, but the worst part is that I'm seeing him, but it's not the same."

Jungwoo's eyes were filled with sympathy, and he pulled the other back onto his shoulder. "You're probably one of the greatest people I know, Ten. Hell, you probably are. But Taeyong seems like a good person too, and he wouldn't just do that to you for fun, or for no good reason at all. I don't know what you did, or what he thinks you did, but you do, and you know what you can do, or say to change that."

Ten sobbed. He just wanted Taeyong. He wanted to hug him, kiss him, joke with him, but he couldn't. "I fucked up, and I don't know how to fix it."

Jungwoo couldn't find an answer for him. "Everything will work out in the end. It's gonna be okay." He said, tightening his hold on the sobbing male and rocking them back and forth.

Ten sighed.

It's gonna be okay.

****

Ten came into the room, hoping that by some miracle, something would be different, but no. Taeyong was in that same fucking position. It made Ten want to scream.

It kills Ten to look at the other now. Taeyong looked dirtier than ever. His hair was knotted, sticking out from all sides, and his clothes were still the same ones the day of the episode. When the patient would fall asleep, Ten would take the time to admire his features, worried about the dark bags that almost contrasted his pale skin. He knew that this was tearing apart the other just as much as it was him.

So why?

Ten didn't know what to do anymore, so he just decided to let go of all his inhibitions.

He shut the door, looking at the chair in the corner. He took a couple steps toward it, before stopping. He turned the other way, and without thinking twice, he sat on the edge of Taeyong's bed.

****

The thin mattress bounced slightly, causing Taeyong to nearly flinch. He wasn't expecting Ten to sit on his bed like that, it hadn't been that way all week.

Speaking of, Taeyong felt disgusted with himself.

Putting Ten through the pain of sitting in that chair. It killed Taeyong to see. When Ten fell asleep, Taeyong tried really hard to resist, but he couldn't leave Ten sleeping like that uncomfortably, especially when the whole situation was his fault, so he carried the other to bed and tucked him in, not forgetting to admire the other's beauty for a moment and pressing a light kiss on his cheek.

When he had woken up, Ten had been gone, but when he saw that the blanket he initially gave to Ten was laid upon him, he wanted to rip his hair out. Why won't he just give up?, he had thought at that time, clutching the blanket close to him, trying to savor Ten's distinct and comforting scent.

Now, Taeyong grew anxious. It was easy to ignore him when the other sat in the chair, but right in front of him? He didn't know how well he could stop himself.

Because he missed Ten, so much. He just wanted to hold the other, whisper everything he wanted to in his ear, ruining everything he really deserved. He wanted to be selfish, and chain Ten down with him.

But he can't, and he won't.

"Taeyong." Ten called. Taeyong nearly turned to him, because his heart broke at the feeble tone of the other.

"How long are you going to be like this?"

Until you have the courage to walk away from me.

"I'm sorry for not being there, I really am, but it's killing me, not being able to even have you look at me. I've learned my lesson so please... just stop now." He said. Taeyong had never heard him sound so weak.

Taeyong felt a ball in his throat, the same ball that has been there all week. He always tried to force his tears down, even when Ten wasn't there to see. He didn't deserve to cry like that.

He hated how Ten blamed himself for everything. He hated how Ten thought that all this was to get back at him. I'm doing you a favor, Ten.

His ears perked when he heard a restrained sniffle from the other, like he didn't want him to hear it, but he couldn't help it. Stop.

"Please don't do this to us." Ten whispered. He sounded so broken and tired, that Taeyong almost stopped everything right then and there.

He couldn't do it anymore. He couldn't hold back his tears, not when Ten was silently sobbing right in front of him.

Don't waste your tears on someone like me.

He closed his eyes, shutting them tightly. His fists started to clench, and he began to grind his teeth.

They stayed like that for well over five minutes, and the silence was deafening.

Ten sniffled one last time, and stood up from the bed. Taeyong could hear his whimpers of pain from holding back his cries.

"Fine." Ten said, growing frustrated, but more so hurt. "If you don't want to be with me anymore, then so be it. I guess we're done."

Taeyong held back a whimper. He knows that's what needs to happen, and he can't stop it, but hearing the words makes him want to. He wanted to say no so bad; wanted to take it all back, get on his knees, and beg for Ten's forgiveness.

He heard the other being to walk away, but he had stopped in the middle of the room. Taeyong knows that Ten wanted to be stopped from leaving.

Ten's breaths were sporadic and fast. Taeyong could feel the room heating up from his anger.

"Did I mean nothing to you? Nothing at all?" he asked, furious. His voice shook, along with his uneven breathing, and the volume of his words increased by the end.

No.

The opposite.

You mean everything to me.

Taeyong bit his lip, feeling the satisfaction of it breaking open. The taste of iron erupted in his mouth. I deserve it, for hurting you like this.

"God damn it, Taeyong, it hurts!" Ten screamed.

Taeyong flinched this time. He had never once heard Ten yell, and he had never heard his voice sound so broken and sad.

It made him question why he would be so hurt about losing someone as pathetic as him.

Something in him broke.

I want to be selfish.

Ten sighed tiredly, turning around and heading for the door.

I want you.

His footsteps were resonating through the room, their slow and agonizing beats hitting both of them like a truck.

Ten.

"I thought," Taeyong started. His voice was so dry from its lack of use, and so cracked, that it was almost inaudible. But Ten heard it. He heard it so clearly, and Taeyong knew he did from the screeching halt of footsteps.

There was a deafening silence. It was one that rang through his ears, and no matter what he would say, or do, it would resonate through his entire body (I'm so sorry).

"I thought that if I let you go, you would be happy." He finished, finally looking at Ten.

He let out a pathetic noise when he saw the other's face.

Ten looked tired. There were tears still streaming down his face, and eye bags that were just as bad as his. Taeyong wanted to hit himself.

"I didn't know you would be this hurt. I-I thought you wanted this... wanted to be... free." He spoke, while repositioning himself to where his legs were hanging off the bed. They felt wobbly, and he was relieved to be able to at least move them.

Ten closed his gaping mouth, visibly swallowing down the ball in his throat.

Taeyong couldn't meet his eyes, only glancing occasionally.

"Free? From what?" Ten asked, his voice just as pained as his own.

"From me. I'm pathetic, and you deserve someone way better."

Ten softly shook his head. "That's not true."

"It is..." Taeyong said weakly.

"It's not."

"It is!" He started to yell, frustrated at the truth he believed in so miserably. He stood up from the bed. "I can't even keep my fucking composure. I-I can't leave the hospital and take you on a date. I have nothing to give you, Ten. I'm just holding you down from someone better!" He shouted. He was looking the other straight in the eyes now, breathing heavily.

He had been repeating that thought in his head, over and over, getting immeasurable headaches from the pain of it ricocheting through the confines of his skull; but saying it out loud... to Ten himself, hurt to an unbelievable extent, and he felt his heart swelling with more pain.

Ten shook his head, moving rapidly to get closer to him.

"There is no one else I would ever want, Taeyong."

Taeyong shook his head rapidly, looking away, trying to find something to prove his point.

"No, look at me." Ten said, cupping Taeyong's cheeks. His tone held no room for discussion, and Taeyong found himself obeying, feeling pathetic for tearing up at the other's soft eyes.

"You do not get to decide who's right for me and who's not, I do. Do you understand? I don't need to go on fancy dates to know how strongly I'm already falling for you. Nothing can change who you are. You can live in the fanciest mansion, or the grossest and dirtiest place, and I'd still want to be with you."

Taeyong gently grasped Ten's hand, pushing his cheek into it, desperate for the contact he had been craving for a whole week. The small amount of warm pressure that he felt against his skin was enough to help him regain his breath with a shaky inhale.

Ten stepped forward a little more, pressing his palms against the other's chest, gripping his shirt. He rested his forehead against his torso, speaking tiredly.

"Don't pull away from me, because I won't just let go."

Taeyong buried his head into the other's shoulder. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Ten shook his head. "The only person you should say sorry to is yourself, for doubting your worth like that." he responded. "And I'm sorry too, for not coming back after things with Jungwoo got cleared up."

Now it was Taeyong's turn to shake his head. "It's okay, I know why you did it."

Ten frowned, looking up. "What do you mean?"

Taeyong looked up from the other's neck, "You like that guy I saw you with, and you didn't want to hurt me." He said, so sure, like he was stating facts.

Ten scoffed, but there was not real malice in it. "Johnny?" He shook his head and closed his eyes, trying to regain control of his thoughts.

"Did you not listen to anything I just said? I want you, and only you, not Johnny, not anyone."

He sighed almost frustratingly, and buried his head into the other's chest again, slapping him lightly. "Idiot. You need to accept the fact that I like you, a lot."

Taeyong felt himself smiling. The smile hurt, because his dry and cut lips were finally being stretched, but he didn't care.

"But... you looked so happy with him." he doubted.

Ten scoffed. "We were talking about Jungwoo, there's nothing I won't smile about when it comes to him. Also, he offended my height, and I hate that. That's one of the best things I like about you, you don't talk about my size." He said, wrapping his arms around Taeyong and nuzzling his face into his chest.

"Well, I'm not super tall, but I look like it when I stand next to you." Taeyong teased. He felt liberated, being able to hold Ten like this again, basking in the enjoyable and playful atmosphere.

"I will walk out of this room and never come back." Ten threatened, his voice muffled in Taeyong's shirt.

Taeyong laughed, wrapping his arms around the other's waist.

"If anything, you should be glad you're so healthy. It's almost concerning how light you are." He said, tightening his arms that were around the other's waist and lifting him up.

Ten giggled, slapping his arm lightly, but wrapping his legs around his waist to stay floating in the other's warm embrace.

"Well, maybe you're just strong."

"I don't even leave this room, and you're calling me strong. I'm barely skin and bones." Taeyong mused, walking them towards the bed.

"Well you know, you can be naturally strong without any exercise." Ten bit back, grunting as his back hit the hard mattress. He made grabby hands for the other to join him, emitting a deep chuckle from the latter.

"Stop trying to make excuses for yourself. You're tiny and you know it." Taeyong said, while sinking into Ten's embrace. They laid on their sides, facing each other. Taeyong propped himself up on an elbow, holding his head with one of his hands.

"That's it, goodbye." Ten said, beginning to get up, before setting back down. Taeyong laughed, mumbling a small 'no'. He didn't want the other to leave, not for a long time.

He reached a hand out, leaning forward and stroking Ten's cheek with his thumb. "I love how small you are, It's fucking adorable."

Ten flushed at the curse word. Taeyong had always used them, but never to describe him like that.

He responded with a hum, tilting his head back and forth as if he were in deep thought. "Hm, well I guess being short does have its advantages" he supplied.

Taeyong chuckled, leaning in, and gently pressing his lips against Ten's, driving them into a soft, yet passionate kiss. His thumb continued it's actions against Ten's cheek, coaxing the latter's jaw open so he could sneak in his tongue.

The kiss grew heated as Taeyong moved on top of the other, careful not to press his full weight on him. He crowded Ten's head with his arms, completely caging him in. He hummed into the kiss, pressing against him harder. Ten let out a light moan, causing Taeyong to laugh.

He pulled away, pressing another kiss on his nose, and another one on his forehead, then his cheek, then his other cheek, before Ten was a complete giggling mess at his kissing attack.

"I don't get it," Ten began, after being spared from Taeyong's volley of kisses. "How do you still smell nice after not showering for like, a week?" He asked, incredulously.

Taeyong squinted playfully at the other. "Really? We were having a moment and that's what you're thinking about?"

Ten giggled. "I'm sorry, but I can't just ignore this phenomenon. Any normal person would not smell this nice after that long."

"Well, obviously, I'm not so normal, am I?" Taeyong remarked, gesturing to the room around them.

Ten shook his head with a smile. "You're right. You're one of a kind." he said fondly, leaning in to connect their lips again.

Taeyong tried to respond with as much passion as the other, but found it difficult because of the blush taking over his features from the flirty praise he had just received. He hummed, pulling away.

"You made a mistake." Taeyong started, pecking his lips before continuing. Ten reached up, trying to reconnect their lips, but Taeyong pulled away to speak. "You shouldn't have stayed here, cause now I'm never gonna let you go."

Ten smiled softly. He circled his arms around the other's neck, pulling him in for another sweet kiss. "That's not a mistake," he said in between pecks.

"That's the best decision I've ever made." He whispered.

Taeyong took a moment to process the sweetness of the words, nearly melting from the burning blush in his cheeks. He kissed Ten breathlessly, causing Ten to giggle between intervals.

Ten.

My savior.

My everything.

I love you.