CHAPTER 33

AYLA

He's gone. I stood there for a while. I came back here to be with him. And just like always...it doesn't work out.

But it breaks me so much that I may not see him ever again. It breaks me to know that I was too late. If I had run faster. If I had stopped hating him sooner....he would be here.

I felt weak. I'm alone now. I'm all alone. My legs gave way and I fell to my knees. I do not stop the tears running down my face. I do not repress the sobs the burst out of my mouth.

I hold my heart and I cry, "H-he's gone."

I hold my face in my hands and my body shakes from my cries. I felt small hands and arms circle around my neck, "Why didn't Papa come back, Ma?" I raise my head and saw my son. He had tears of his own. His bottom lip quivered as he shakily said, "Couldn't he hear us?"

I pull Milo into me and shook my head, "I don't think so, Milo."

It broke my heart when Milo began to cry. I just held him in my chest as he cried. He kept staring at the boat that floating further and further away from us. 

"But I want my Papa!" He screams, "Papa come back to us! Please!" He cries. 

I don't stop him. I don't try make him be quiet. I couldn't do that to him. He may just have lost his father. 

I heard footsteps near us from behind. I look over my shoulder and saw everyone. They all held sadness in their eyes. But they would never know the loss and sadness that I have. 

Xander stepped forward, "Come on, Ayla. Let's get you back."

I sighed and looked back at the lake, "Good Bye, Solo." I whispered. I stood up on shaky legs. Xander came to my side and helped me walk. Lizzy was on my other side rubbing my back. It was comforting to know they still cared for me. 

I held Milo in my arms. He wasn't crying anymore, but he did have silent tears rolling down his face. I held his head against my chest as we made our way back to their camp site. 

***

When we finally arrived, I didn't know what to do. I stood there silently with my son. everyone else stood there in front of me. Mia stepped forward and smiled softly at me, "Even though the circumstances suck, I'm happy to see you again, Ayla."

I smiled shakily and nodded my head, "Thank you. I missed you all so much."

Xander had gone to set up my tent. Zay stepped forward and pulled me into a hug, "I hope you're staying here for good."

I nod my head, "I am, if I'm still welcome."

Zay pulls back and said, "Of course you are."

Lizzy came to my side and smiled, "You're a part of this family, Ayla. You are always welcome here. It is your home."

I look around and I realised how many people cared for me. How many people were happy for me. It felt good to know I have people to come back to. 

Xander came and said, "Your tent is ready."

I smiled and said, "Thank you."

Xander stood there for a moment...but then, he stepped forward and pulled me into a hug too, "I can bring him for you, Ayla. If he knew you were here, he wouldn't have left."

I shook my head, "Don't. He's finally had a chance to move on, I think I should let him."

Xander steps back, "Well then, if you ever need anything, come to me. I'll sort it out for you." And then he left a long with LIzzy.

Milo pulled on my hand. I looked down at my son as he asks, "Can I please stay with Kieth, Ma?"

"Oh ummm," I look up to me and she smiles and nods, "Okay, Milo. But I want you back in the early morning, okay?"

Milo nods his head and goes with Mia and Noah. Whenever Milo was sad, he was much like his father, he would want to distract himself. So I thought I should let him. He's been through enough. 

I went to the tent that Xander directed me to. I climbed in and am instantly consumed with Soul's scent. It was everywhere. This must've been his tent. 

Tears stung my eyes. I fell to my knees onto the bed. I lye down and bury my nose into his blankets. It's almost like he's here with me, holding me. 

I lit a candle and sat there with blankets all around me. 

"Knock knock?" I raised my head to see Lizzy. She greets me with a smile, "Hey I'm sorry to intrude, but I have something for you."

I looked at her hand and saw an envelope

"Solomon promised that if you were to ever come, I was to give you this."

She hands it to me and I slowly take it from her. Lizzy then steps back and whispers, "Good Night, Ayla."

I didn't say anything. I couldn't. I sat there staring at the envelope. My breath was shaky. I didn't know if this letter was going to break my heart or mend it. It had the power to do either one...or maybe both. My name was written at the front with his writing. 

I opened the envelope slowly. I took a deep breath and pulled out the folded paper. I unfolded it slowly. And there it was, his writing to me. 

https://youtu.be/KtlgYxa6BMU

To my dearest love, Ayla,

I don't know when you got this. It could be a year into the future, it could be ten years, you could be on your death bed right now for all I know. But at least you got it and that's what matters. You were gone for three months when I wrote this. 

Do you remember when we first met on that beach?  I was an asshole and you were sassy. We made quite the pair. It just reminded me that we were best friends before we were ever mates. But then once we were together and you got pregnant, I ruined it. I ruined what we had. I tainted what was supposed to be beautiful and good. I brought an unimaginable pain in your life. Everything that you are struggling with or suffering with right now is because of me and I know that...and I am so sorry. I tried so hard to change and mend what we had between us. I tried to earn your love again. I tried to make you see that I had changed. 

You didn't know this, but I went to Italy to try and make things better between us. I walked down a beautiful street that was facing the ocean. It was sunset and you were walking with Milo. I wanted to come out and ask for you to come back to me, but I decided to stop and wait. You stood there while Milo played. You were looking out to the ocean. The way the light hit your face, you looked indescribably beautiful, you took my breath away. But what I really noticed about you, was that you were completely and utterly at peace. That was when it clicked for me. It was me. It was all me. You were at peace because you were away from me. I understood that. And so I did the hardest thing I have ever done...I let you go. I wanted you to be happy, whether that means you find another mate, I don't know. But I wanted you to live a full and happy life. 

I know that I caused you so much suffering, but I ask you this...do not remember me as the guy that ruined your life. Remember me as the boy you met at a beach, the boy that loves you, the boy that became your best friend, the boy that kissed on the night of prom, and the boy that you once fell in love with. 

I love you. I will always love you, Ayla. I will always be waiting for you in my heart. I hope that you are happy and that you are at peace. 

From your mate,
Solo 

I sobbed as I read every word. My tears fell on the pages. I don't know how I hated him for so long. He was so sorry. He was in pain just as much as me. He just wanted me to forgive him, he just wanted me to see how much he loves me and how much he was willing to do for me. I hold the letter to my heart and I cry. In my mind, I relive everything we went through together and I realised...He was so good to me, but then he did something bad, something really bad, and he realised his mistakes and from then on, all he ever wanted was for me to forgive. But I didn't give him that.

My own overwhelming wave of guilt came. I felt guilty for how I treated him while he tried so hard with me. He was so gentle with me, he was protective, he was a good father, but I couldn't be with him because I couldn't look past his mistakes. And yes that caused me unimaginable pain, but at the same time, he wasn't in a good place either. Solomon was just as broken as me at that time, but I had no empathy for him. He had a lot going on at that time. I wasn't understanding of him at all. I cry for all the mistakes he made and all the mistakes I made. We both made a big mess of things. 

I stand up and climb out of the tent. It was late at night. Everyone was asleep. I walked further up the mountain and I sat at the edge of the cliff. I sighed as a soft breeze tickled my neck. I laughed and thought...we definitely do make quite a pair. I looked up at the sky and saw the beautiful stars. If Solo was willing to wait forever for me...then I'll do the same. I'll wait here until the day comes that he does, whether that be some day or never, I will wait for you. 

"You know what I realised." My heart stopped. I heard a breathless voice, but I knew that voice. 

"Solomon." I whispered. 

I looked over my shoulder wide eyed at the sight of my mate standing there. I got up from the ground and stood there.

He was soaking wet as he said breathlessly and tiredly, "I realised that swimming across a whole lake and climbing up this god forsaken mountain is actually quite exhausting," He took a shaky step forward while I was still standing here in shock, "But when I saw you and Milo at the dock, it seemed like you wanted to talk me, like you wanted to say something. Did you want to talk to me?"

Tears welled up in my eyes, "I did...I-I mean I d-d-do."

We stood there in silence as I behold him. I haven't seen him for almost a year and here he is. Standing right in front of me.

"You want to tell me?"

I shake my head, "Oh right...ummm, like ummm, you know I realised that you made a mistake...a-and you tried so hard to say sorry...b-but I didn't forgive you properly. A-and in Italy I thought I was never going to see you again. And the thought of that scared me because I realised that I wanted to see you. I wanted you in my life," My voice became shaky and my unshed tears rolled down my face, "And you know what, we're a pretty messed up couple. And I know you disappointed me, but I disappoint you too. If I'm the only person you can forgive then I want you to be the only person I forgive too."

Solomon walked towards me. My heart was beating so fast, my legs felt weak and I felt breathless, but I've never felt more alive. Solomon stood so close to me as he said, "I really like that."

I nod my head, "Me too."

"Can we do that?"

I nod my head as sobbed, "Okay."

Then Solomon cupped my face and pressed his lips passionately upon mine. I hold on to him, with everything I had in my heart, I held on to him and I kissed him.

A/N: OMG! They finally are together! You have no idea how excited I was writing this part. I was squirming in my seat. I literally got chills. You have no idea how amazing I felt when I finished this chapter. I had tears of joy...like literally though. I am so damn happy for them. AAAHHHHHH!!!






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