I left Milo's room and went downstairs. It was still dark outside. I made sure to keep quiet as I made my way through the house and to the kitchen. 

I made myself a hot coffee, which is probably a bad idea. But ever since I had one cup, I couldn't stop myself. 

Afterwards, I decided to go outside and sit in their luxurious outdoor furniture. I sat there looking out at the stars and I was breathless. It had been a while since I could sit in peace and watch the stars. I found myself forming the smallest of smiles on my lips, but a smile nonetheless. 

"Can't sleep either, huh?" 

I instantly tensed and my heart rate increased. I looked up over my shoulder and am met with dark blue eyes, almost black. Solomon. 

I silently nod my head. He plopped himself beside me and released a tired sigh. He looked up at the sky and he smirked. "I really shouldn't be surprised that you're out here looking at the stars," He looked back towards me, "You were in love with them. I still remember the times where I was half asleep because you would be talking about every scientific fact or theory about stars. Their distance from earth, what kind of stars there are, how you can tell between a planet and a star," he chuckles deeply, "You were a true fanatic."

I looked down at my hands. I wanted to smile or laugh, but I didn't. I wanted to, but I couldn't. I just sat in silence and looked at the night sky.

"How is Milo?" He asks me while looking up. It made it easier to talk with his eyes somewhere else.

"He's okay. I think he's just in a little bit of shock at how much freedom he has." I answered quietly

I saw Solomon's face fall slightly. His jaw was clenching. 

"If you don't mind me asking, what was his daily life like?"

I pondered on this. Was I comfortable answering this question? It was just a reminder of what I went through and what Milo went through. But then again...Solomon is his father. 
I sighed, "I would wake him up, make him breakfast, we would do our daily exercise so that he would still be healthy. He wasn't allowed to be outside or run around. And then we would have our bath. Then we would sometimes do some screams."

I saw Soul's face scrunch slightly in confusion, "Scream?" He questioned. 

"We would scream and wait to see if anyone would hear us," I stated like it was just a normal part of the routine, but I could see this pained Soul. 

"You guys would scream together and hope someone would come and find you?"

I nodded my head, "And then I would leave for the day and do my maid duties while I give Milo a set amount of books to read before I come. And then I ask him what he has learned for the day."

When I looked back at Solomon, he was staring back at me. But what surprised me was that I saw something in his eyes. Admiration. 

"You're a good mother, Ayla."

My eyes widen slightly. No one has ever told me that. I've always believed I tried my best, but that doesn't necessarily mean I'm a good mother. I felt that familiar feeling of that ball getting caught in my throat when I try not to cry. I guess being told I was a good mother...it gave me an assurance that I did the best I could within my circumstances. 

"Th-thank you," I whispered shakily. Solomon's eyes soften. 

He leans forward, close to my face as if he was going to kiss me. I move back and frowned at him. But he shook his head softly and whispered, "It's not that kind of a kiss."

 I stay still as he moves closer to me and presses his lips to my forehead. I felt myself shake. I haven't been shown such affection for so long. I haven't been touched nicely for so long that having this small bit of affection for me, it was overwhelming. My vision blurred as my eyes pooled with unshed tears. My bottom lip quivered slightly, but even then, I tried to resist showing my true emotions. I was still protective of myself against him. Yet, having his adoration and admiration towards me, it felt so good. At that moment, it was like we were true mates. 

He leans back and looks at my face. I took a deep breath to calm myself. I quickly wipe my eyes and sniff. I  don't look at him. I didn't want to. I was scared to. I got up from the chair quickly and turned around. I coughed to clear my throat before I said, "I'm tired. I think I'll be going back to bed now."

Before I could take one step, warmth spread throughout my back. He was standing right behind me. My breath hitched when I felt Soul bend down. His lips were so close to my ear. I could feel his breath against me. 

"Good Night, little wolf," He whispered softly to me.

SOLOMON

I couldn't help but smile all day. Last night was progress. Ayla and I actually had a conversation. A good one without her leaving after one sentence. It gave me hope. 

"Why're you all happy today?" Eddie asked while giving me his 'what the hell is wrong with you' face. Eddie and I were cleaning out some of the gardens because Mia wanted more room to plant stuff, but because she's pregnant, Noah pretty much threatened us to do it. 

I shrugged, "I am just happy. Can't a man just smile without being interrogated for it?"

Eddie eyes me suspiciously, "Is it because of Ayla?"

I roll my eyes, "Wow, you're so smart."

Eddie chuckles, "So I'm guessing you guys are back together?"

I pull out some weeds and put it in the bucket. "Nope, but guess what?"

Eddie raised his brow, "What?"

My face beamed, "We actually had a conversation!"

I continued my work while Eddie was just standing there. He blinks his eyes a couple of times to shake off the daze, "So you're saying," he said, "Having one good conversation...is progress?"

I nodded my head. 

Eddie just stood there and began to shake his head, "Wow, you must've been a real asshole if that's what you consider progress, man."

"You have no idea," I mumbled. 

I was a true asshole, inside and out back then. I was the most horrible mate to her. I was never abusive. But I definitely abused her verbally. I was still such a broken guy back then. When I lost Xander, I had this 'I don't give a crap' attitude. I didn't care about anything or anyone. But when I met Ayla, that changed. She healed some parts of me that I thought I could never remedy. She helped me distract me from my reality. I'd want to hang out with her all the time because, when I'm with her, I don't think about the world or how horrible it was. I didn't think about the reality of how messed up I was because Ayla had always accepted me and my dick ways. She was my drug to make the pain of my life go away. I wasn't the Solomon with the 'I don't care' attitude anymore because she made my world better, so I didn't have to act like I didn't care about anything anymore because she made everything better.

However, as soon as I found out she was pregnant, she wasn't my distraction anymore. She was my reminder. She reminded me of my reality, she reminded me of how messed up I was. Because she was now my reminder, I resorted to having that 'I don't care' attitude. I distanced myself from her because I was angry at her. She ruined my fantasy land of 'everything is okay.' But that crash landed when she became pregnant. She made me remember how I hated my life because I had to start thinking about the reality I was in.

I tried to get new distraction from other girls. I never cheat, if you consider not having sex, cheating. But I cheated in my heart because I liked it. I liked their attention on me. It made me not think of what I had to come home to. 

But when she had a miscarriage...my world literally shattered. It was a wake-up call for me. I felt the fog lift from my mind and eyes. I saw how I was treating Ayla, my love, my mate. I realized the damage and hurt I had caused her. I felt like I was even more broken than before. 

Before I could even apologize...she was gone. 

https://youtu.be/L-lp2bejhm4

AYLA

I've been here for about a week now. I have set a routine for myself in order to keep myself sane.

Right now, I was washing my face with some wash before waking up Milo. Today was his first day of going to a daycare. I personally didn't want him to. I would miss him too much. But I knew that he needed to interact with other kids and learn what they are learning. I have to realize that we're not back at the attic anymore.  The responsibility doesn't fall on only my shoulders to teach him things anymore. it was hard for me. I went from spending every single day with Milo, to only spending some of the days with him. And now he's going to a daycare which is going to make things harder. 

I look at myself in the mirror. I still looked the exact same as I did when I was in the attic. I found it strange because back in the attic, I would fantasize about feeling this sense of overwhelming freedom, that I would become Ayla again. I would feel this motivation and joy to live life again. But I didn't. I didn't feel any of that. I still felt the same way as I did back at the attic. Except I didn't have to be scared anymore. Because I was safe. But I even then...I was still getting tormented by Kendrick. I would wake up in a cold sweat almost every night. Nightmares plagued my mind. And even in the day, I still feel him pressing into my head.

Once I got Milo ready, we began to walk. "How're you feeling about daycare Milo?"

He was fidgeting with his shirt, "I'm excited, but I'm also scared. I wish Lamp was here. He would make me feel better."

I nodded my head in understanding, "I know Baba, I know. But you know what Lamp would want?"

Milo frowned and shook his head. I stopped him from walking. The building was just a little way ahead. 

I took a hold of his shoulders and said, "Lamp would want you to be strong and courageous. You were so brave when we were at attic. But now it's time for you to be brave again."

I saw Milo's chest rise and fall as he took a deep breath. He straightens his shoulders and puffed out his chest and nodded his head, "I'll be brave for Lamp."

I smiled and kissed him on the cheek, "That's my boy."

Milo gives me a peck on my cheek and runs towards the daycare building, "Bye Ma!" He shouts. 

I laugh and shook my head. He'll be a strong man when he grows up.