AYLA

I wake up during the night drenched in sweat. I groan, not another nightmare. I haven't had proper sleep lately. I get up from my bed and look out the window. It's still dark and the moon was out. Maybe some fresh air would calm me down. I go downstairs and open the door. However, I stop right there as I am met with a black shadow. I look up and my heart stops. 

Kendrick smiles down at me, "Hello there precious." He whispers to me, "I've come for my fun."

I wake up with a yelp. I look around and see I am in my bedroom. It was just a dream. It was a nightmare. I look at my pillow. It was a little bit damp. I took deep breaths to calm my racing heart. 

"It was just a nightmare, Ayla." I said to myself. I actually got off my real bed and went to check on Milo. He was in the bedroom next to me. It was weird not being in the same bed with him. It feels unnatural since I've been doing it for years. 

I open the door and see he was sleeping peacefully in his bed. I smiled. Good. At least one of us is getting a good nights rest. I stroked his hair and he leaned into my touch. My heart only was beating for my son now. I didn't like it, but in my head, there was a continuing cycle of memories always playing on repeat. the cycle of the bad memories that happened when I was pregnant. I wanted it to stop, but it was like it didn't have an off button. Ever since I was free I thought I would stop being in survival mode. But I couldn't. I was waiting for the moment I saw the Solomon that hurt me, the Solomon that caused me pain 

6 YEARS AGO

PREGNANT AYLA

I was sitting on the couch waiting for Solomon to come home. Ever since he found out I was pregnant, he's been acting strangely. He's become more distant. But I didn't understand it. We were mates and I was pregnant. It was normal in the Wolf world. It seems like he didn't want the pup. He wasn't excited for it even though he says he is. He was pretending for my sake. But I didn't like that he was pretending.

The door burst open and Soul stumbled inside. He walked right past me and banged on the door.I rolled my eyes. I got off the couch and went to him.

"Solo?"

He turned around and smile widely. But I knew it was fake, "Hey Baby! How you doin? How's the bun in the oven? Cooking well?" He said and laughed like it was the most hilarious thing in the world. 

I stood there without laughing, "No Solomon. Where were you? I was waiting."

He waved his hand, "You don't have to wait up for me, Ayla."

I step closer and smelled him. I scowled and growled, "Have you been drinking?"

He chuckled, "Just a little wee bit. Not too much though."

"You're drunk," I stated. 

He rolled his eyes and turned around and made his to the kitchen. I followed him. He was stumbling around, trying to fill a glass of water. 

"Why are you acting like this?" I asked Solomon, "Ever since you found out about the baby...you haven't been you Solo."

He glared at me, "I'm fine, Ayla. Just leave it." His eyes flickered to the table and frowned, "Why's there candles and flower on the table."

I felt my eyes sting from tears, "I was trying to make a special night. You've been distant and stressed. I thought maybe we could just act like how we were before for one night."

Solomon's eyes soften. He looked away and bit his lower lip. His head fell and he sighed, "I'm tired, Ayla. I'm gonna go to bed. I have to do patrolling tomorrow." As he was walking I saw a little bit of red on his neck. 

I frowned and took a step forward, "What's that on your neck?"

Solomon's eyes widened slightly, "Oh...it must be a stain or something. Or a rash."

And then he left up to the stairs. My heart broke a little more. I remember when Solomon was more like himself before, before the baby. We were happy together. But I think ever since that one night. That one night filled with passion and love...everything went downhill. He wasn't listening when I was talking anymore. He didn't want to lip sync with me anymore. We hardly did any of the stuff we used to do for fun. He just didn't want to do anything. But I think he just didn't want to do anything with me. 

Tears fell from my face. I'm losing him. I'm losing the guy I love. Not even the mate bond is working. He's rejecting it. He didn't want this baby. He didn't want this life. I'm not even sure he wants me anymore. Maybe everything would have been different if we weren't together. Maybe if we just waited for the mate bond to come...we would be happy. 

1 WEEK LATER...

I was looking down at my homework as I heard a knock on the bedroom door. I cautiously stood up and opened the door, My heart melted when I saw Solomon holding white roses. 

"Solomon?"

He looks down and sighs, "I'm sorry Ayla. I haven't been very good to you lately. I've been a total asshole."

I nod my head in agreement. 

"So," he continues, "I wanted to make it up to you by taking you out tonight for dinner, what'd ya say?"

I stepped out of the door and smirked, "What am I going to do with you Solomon Nightwalker." He gives me a toothy smile and winked. 

I giggled and leaned to give him a hug, "I'd love to go out for dinner."

He folds his arms around me and nods his head, "Good. I'll come back in an hour to pick you up." He turns to leave, but when I coughed in my hand he turns around. 

I point to the roses he was still holding, "Aren't those for me?"

He frowned and looked and laughed. But what caught be by surprise was that he shook his head, "No. They're for someone else. I just spontaneously stopped by on my way over to a friends."

I stood there in silence for a moment and process what had just happened. He just smiled at me like what he just did wasn't horrible at all. 

He sighs loudly, "Anyways, I gotta go, but I'll see you in an hour."

2 HOURS LATER...

We were both sitting at some random restaurant eating our meals silently. This whole hour we've been here, Solomon has hardly looked at me let alone talked to me. 

I've asked him so many questions and he's only answered with either one word or one sentence and that's it. 

"Look," I said weakly, "I know this has been really hard. Our lives have changed so much. Everything that has happened to this point has been unplanned. I understand it's such an inconvenience because I know you wanted to do other things and enjoy life before going to this chapter in your journey. I'm not saying that this isn't going to be hard...it's going to be really really hard. But I think that we can try to make the most of it, you know? We just have to compromise with each other and maybe through a little more quality time, we can bet back to what we were like before."

Solomon didn't pay any attention to what I just said. He sat there looking over his shoulder and winked at the bimbo waitress.

My heart was beating fast as it was pumping my boiling blood. I slam my hands on the table. Solomon jumps slightly and turns to me in wide eyes, "What is it? What's wrong?"

I scoffed at him, "You're kidding me right? Please tell me that you are joking right now," I growled.

His brows pull together and his eyes squint slightly in confusion, "You were talking about...baby names?"

I leaned forward, "I was actually trying to reach out to you and make things better between us."

He tilts his head, "Ayla we're fine. Why do you think we need to make things better?"

My nose flared in anger as I snarled, "Because you are my mate, and mates don't look at blonde BIMBO WAITRESSES!"

He points to the waitress, "What? You mean Katy? She's just a good friend."

My eyes widen in rage, "You know her NAME?"

Solomon sighs and rubs his face, "Look, I think it's just pregnancy hormones, Ayla. They get to your head sometimes."

I couldn't believe him right now. He is treating me like how he used to treat meaningless girls he used to hook up with when we were just friends. I couldn't believe he was putting me in the same position as them. His mate. Me.

I took a deep breath and slowly stood up from my chair silently. I turned around and I left. I could hear Solomon calling out to me. But I left...and he never chased me. I looked over my shoulder at the window and saw the waitress smiled at him...and he smiled right back. He gestured at the seat and she sat down. 

My heart hurt. He gave her his undivided attention...something I haven't had in a long time. They were both laughing and what shocked me was that he reached over the table and tucked her hair behind her ear.

I looked away and shook my head. I don't know what I'll do if he doesn't change. That night I walked home because Solomon had the keys. And of course, to make matters worse, it started to rain. It took me about an hour to get back to the pack house. They would have a roaring fire on right now and I was freezing. I rubbed my belly, hoping my baby was nice and toasty inside.

I open the door and I gasp when I see Solomon gaming with Noah. He glanced at me and frowned, "Why are you wet? Where have you been? I was worried sick."

"I was walking home in the rain because my asshole of a mate didn't take me HOME!" I screamed. 

He got up and scowled at me, "That's not my fault. You're the one that left!"

I took a step towards him and screamed, "Because you're the one that was flirting with that slut! While I was TRYING to have a heartfelt conversation with you!"

He rolls his eyes, "Oh please Ayla. Give me a break. You're all hormonal and pregnant. Just calm down."

"Don't you dare tell me to calm down! I have every right to leave you at this point! Why would you even give your attention to a whore like her? What has she done to catch your attention Solomon! Did she flash her fake ass tits? Did she bend over like the slut she is? What has she got that I don't have!" I scream

Solomon snapped. He got right up in my face and roared, "Well for one, she hasn't RUINED MY LIFE!"

I gasped. I stumbled backwards. Silence enveloped the room. Noah was awkwardly sitting on the couch watching us. I think he was more watching Solomon to make sure he didn't do anything to me. I felt sad to think it had come to this point. 

"I can't believe you said that," I whispered shakily.

I ran away before he could see the infinite stream of tears that were running down my face. 

3 MONTHS LATER...

Just like every other night, I wait on the couch for Solomon to come home drunk. I was flicking through channels when he finally came in. But this time it was different. He was REALLY drunk. He could hardly walk. Xander was half carrying him. I frowned in concern.

"What's wrong with him?" I asked as I got up and rushed towards him.

"He's okay," Xander said, "Just had a little bit too much to drink."

I looked at Xander, "How could you let him drink so much!" I growled. 

"I didn't let him," He growled back in anger, "He's the one that did it to himself."

I shake my head and whisper to myself, "Why would he keep doing this?"

"Maybe it's because he has you as well as that thing in your stomach to deal with."

My eyes widen and my anger spiked, "How dare you call him that! It's a BABY, Xander! Your NEPHEW! And this is not all my fault! It takes two to Tango!"

"But it can only take one to initiate it, sugar."

"SHUT UP BOTH OF YOU!" Solomon shouted. He glared at me, "Xander is right."

 I took a step back in shock.

Solomon stumbled as he stood up straight, he pointed at me, "This is your fault. I don't want this, Ayla. I don't want this pup, I don't want this life...I DON'T WANT YOU! You have ruined me! I wanted to stay young and have fun. I wanted to grow up a little more, but no. Because you're fucking pregnant with my fucking bastard of a son, that I don't EVEN WANT! Of course I'm not ready to be a father! I am a messed up son of a bitch. I got problems that I haven't even dealt with yet! And now I am about to have a child!" He pointed to the red marks on his neck, "And this? This was never a rash or a stain. I had girls kissing my neck to make me feel alive. They make me feel alive, Ayla...because when I come home to you...I feel dead."

Tears stream down my face. I nodded my head and whispered, "Okay Soul...Okay." He just made his decision. But he didn't know that it will affect him for the rest of his life.

I miscarried that night. I was by myself. I was screaming in pain and yet...there was no help. No rescue. No big savior bursting through the door and rushing to me in concern and love. I was alone. And mateless...I think I lost my mate a long time ago, but I didn't want to admit it. Now I have.

I left the next morning...and I intended on never coming back. I didn't want to see Solomon Nightwalker ever again.