I MAYBE will have 2 parts for this story. I hope you enjoy, oh and this will not have smut sorry. I know this is a dirty solby book but oh well *shrugs shoulders*

I can't believe what I got Sam into. He will never be the same, maybe never. The fear of being "kidnapped" sunk in and won't leave him. I hate myself more and more every time he has a flare of being alone, around other people and when he has his nightmares. The nightmares are the worst to watch. He starts saying my name in a low voice than screams it. He shakes and says "NO PLEASE COLBY WHERE ARE YOU HELP." I wake him up as fast as I can than he hugs me while crying. I never knew he would react or be effected by the experience this badly. I thought I knew him well but I guess I was wrong. At least he isn't mad at me, thank God he isn't I would hate myself even more. He tries to cheer me up but it doesn't work. I'll be truly happy when Sam is. His feelings effect mine too. Damn, he gets no sleep because of me. He stays up all night by drinking a lot of caffeine. He does get enough sleep when I'm cuddling close to him, so I do it every night. Sam may say he doesn't hate me but I think he does. He still acts the way he did towards me before the prank but, I just think he does because I hate me. Sam Pepper had the idea but I agreed to it saying it would be fine for Sam, he could handle it. But I was so so wrong. Sam tells me to stop saying sorry everyday, saying I didn't know. But I should have I've known him for 5 years! I guess no matter how long nor how well you've known that person you won't truly know them.

It's crazy, how a harmless prank made me scared of life, taking it too seriously which I don't like. I guess you can't call it harmless nor a prank now. I know Colby and Sam Pepper didn't do this on purpose. Especially Colby, he loves me too much to cause this much pain on purpose. When I saw the video for myself I cried, cried and cried. It was very traumatic for me. You're probably thinking more horrible things happen around the world, this is nothing. But it is for me, not all people have to experience a high level of fear or anything that is scary or haunting to be extremely effected. I think I'll get better soon, I keep telling myself it was just a prank and that I'm being a baby. I think Colby thinks I'm one too. I can't help that I'm acting this way! This is why I see the therapist every week, Monday through Thursday at 12:30 pm. Colby put me there, I told him I'll heal by myself but him being him thought I needed extra help. The appointments are okay they help. I've been having less nightmares recently. In the nightmares I get kidnapped of course but the part that really bothers me is seeing Colby die over and over again. That is the worst part of course. I try to save him I really do but the restraints are holding me back. I don't ever see the part where Colby gets back up and hugs me and says it's a prank I'm okay. All I see is him die. Before I wake up I scream "SHOOT ME TOO, SHOOT ME." The other Sam raises the gun and before he pulls the trigger I wake up by myself or because of Colby. I can't wait till I'm over this stupid prank. Then I'm going to get back at them. I know they meant no harm to me but just for fun. You're probably wonder how are you still going out with Colby and why are you still friends with Sam Pepper? Well I love Colby too much like he does to me and Sam...yeah I know he has a fucked up past but forgive and forget. You can't keep thinking about the stuff the happened days, weeks nor years ago. It's gone, it happened, you have to try to move on. That's what I'm doing, it's not a fast nor easy task but when you get over it you'll be happier than you were before. Wow I'm such a motivational speaker. I like making others happy, if others aren't I won't be either. Like Colby, he is upset at himself over the "prank" which is making me down so I try to cheer him up like he does to me when I'm upset. It helps for a while than it returns, his sadness. He'll get over this experience like I am now then everything will go back to normal.

Okay I decided to have a part two of this. It may not be the next story chapter but it will be made. If you have request please let me know I'll type about any scenario. Please add this book if you like it so far to your reading list. Well bye till next time. (lame last sentence)