-Luis's POV-

As Josiah summoned my mother, Serena pulled me away from the wall and put her hands on my shoulders. Werewolves are incredibly dependent on physical touch. It's usually soothing. On that day, however, the only one I wanted to touch me was Rowan.

"This is amazing, Luis. You might not see it now, but Rowan is perfect for you. Plus, you're exactly his type. He's told me that thick, messy, dark eyebrows are a turn-on for him," she joked, reaching up to smooth my right eyebrow. I managed a small smile as I soaked in that one solace. My world had been flipped upside down, but at least my mate would like my eyebrows.

As we waited for my mother, Serena told me about Rowan. She told me that his parents were divorced but were still very amiable. She said Rowan's stepmother regularly invited him and his mother to his father's house in a neighboring town for family dinners. She told me that hates country music but has a soft spot for acoustic folk. She told me he plans to go to college on a swimming scholarship and that he was passionate about causes supporting reproductive health. She told me laughingly that he struggles with science as much as I did, but is a human spell-checker and could spot a grammatical error a mile away.

With every word, I felt like a piece of him was given to me. With every word, I fell more in love with him.

My mother arrived moments after the second bell rang. Josiah, Serena, and I were all officially late for our first class.

My mother was dressed sharply in clean black high heels, black slacks and a beautiful but businesslike golden blouse. She wasted no time in pulling me into a hug, which I gratefully accepted.

"This is perfect, honey. Rowan's such a good boy," she said warmly, straightening the collar of my jacket. "This is amazing. He'll make you so happy." She smiled over at Josiah and Serena. "Come on. Let's get passes for you two."

My mom slung her arm around me and led us back into the building. Maybe a human my age would have cringed at the idea of being embraced by his mother at school, but such affection is common among wolves and I was nothing short of grateful for the love.

Rowan's scent was stronger in the building, standing out among the hundreds of other scents. It was so fragrant and sweet I just wanted to follow it into his arms. I wanted to hold him until the pain in my heart stopped. I wanted to smell nothing but chlorine and pine needles until the day I died.

My mom seemed to sense my instinctive struggle and led me more forcefully into the office.

The man at the front desk, Stuart, is part of the Northwest Collective. He flashed my mom a huge grin and immediately began writing passes.

"Hey, Maria," he said. "Business?"

"Yes," my mom said happily, rubbing my shoulder. "It's Luis's eighteenth."

We didn't dare speak of werewolf matters where unknowing human ears could hear us, but Stuart understood the significance of someone with alpha blood turning eighteen.

"Congratulations," he said warmly. He handed Josiah and Serena their slips. I wished them goodbye as Stuart called back to Arti's office. He set the phone down and smiled up at us again. "She's ready for you. Head on back."

I followed my mom down the hallway to Arti's office, my heart pounding. Isaac Childress hung in Arti's doorway, grinning like a fool. I swear that guy has a crush on her.

"Isaac, it's only Monday. If you get sent to me again this week, it'll be a detention," Arti warned him from inside the office.

"I know. Thanks, Arti," he said eagerly. He gave me a respectful nod as he passed us. He's human, but someone as problematic as him understands that respect must be given in the proper places.

I sank into the chair in the corner of Arti's office as my mom gave her an enormous hug. I've always found the two of them charming. Both are tall, though not exceptionally so, and both radiate controlled power with an almost tangible coolness. Arti's fashion sense is less practical than my mother's, preferring dresses and skirts instead of slacks, but both of them are beautiful figureheads of strength and resilience.

Arti smiled up at my mother. "Please, sit, Maria," she said. She shut the door tightly and smiled as she sat behind her desk. "Happy birthday, Luis."

I nodded. It was all I could do.

Arti and I have an understanding. I don't fight unnecessarily. Only when I'm challenged, when my instincts demand that people be put in their place. She doles out detentions and even the occasional suspension as necessary to keep up appearances and references to imaginary hate speech are made on all the official documents to prevent anyone from asking why I haven't simply been expelled. Josiah and the other members of my pack, Tillamook Camp, all circulate rumors of anti-Mexican sentiments as the reason that I fight. It's all nice and clean, nice and convenient. I just wonder what the story would be if I were white.

"So you've found your mate," Arti said to me.

I nodded again. I couldn't look at her.

"Yes. And... Sarika... it's good news. Luis's mate is perfect. He's intelligent, strong, and friendly. Though he is a human," my mother said.

Arti picked up on the masculine pronoun with no acknowledgement other than a slightly raised eyebrow. "Who is it?"

My mother took a breath. "Sarika... it's Rowan."

This took Arti by surprise. I wanted to cry when I thought of how unhappy she must have been that her son was caught up in this mess now. That he would be forever tied up with me.

I'm not a crier. It doesn't come naturally to me. But I found tears prickling into my eyes for the second time in less than a day over Rowan.

"It must be a hard thing for you to wrap your head around, but it's good news, Sarika. Your son will never be cheated on or hurt. He'll be loved and cherished for the rest of his life. It's in our nature to die before allowing our mates to be hurt. There are thousands of people in Tillamook Camp and the Northwest Collective ready to welcome him as a loved and respected member," my mother told her.

I think my mother missed her calling. She would have been quite the saleswoman.

Arti was silent for a few moments. "Luis," she finally said.

I looked up at her. There was a kindness in her eyes I wasn't expecting. That sixth sense possessed by loving mothers had picked up on my fear.

She laced her fingers together. "Rowan will be perfect for you. But you have to remember how this is for humans. He doesn't feel what you feel. You have to get to know him. Let him get to know you. And please... please be careful. That boy is my entire world."

I nodded mutely. "Mine, too."

Arti took a breath and nodded before smiling pleasantly at my mother. "You're right, Maria. I'm shocked, but I'm happy. I don't doubt Luis will treat Rowan well." She glanced at a calendar on the wall. "And... I think I might have a good idea as to how to allow the two to warm up to each other."

My mother also looked at the calendar. "The senior trip?"

Arti nodded. "I think we should make some rooming rearrangements. Additionally, we can put the two of them together for the activities."

My breath caught in my throat at the thought of sharing a cabin with him. Him. Rowan Arti. My soulmate. The father of my future children. My partner in life. My tall, handsome, perfect mate.

"Do you think he'll accept me?" I whispered. The forbidden thought. After the first kiss, humans experience the mate bond as strongly as werewolves do, especially if they allow themselves to be turned. But until he falls in love with me of his own accord, I will be nothing more than a classmate to him.

"Luis," my mother breathed.

"Yes, Luis," Arti said without hesitating. "You just need to be sensible and honest. Remember that Rowan is very smart and will probably pick up on something happening. Be kind to him and I'm certain he'll feel what you feel."

The words actually did a lot to soothe me. Arti does not sugarcoat things. She wouldn't say those words if she didn't believe them.

"Thank you," I said.

"We should pair Rowan with Josiah on the first few activities. Let him see what Rowan thinks of the whole rooming thing. Plus..." my mother patted my hand. "The mate bond is powerful. Luis won't be able to focus on anything if he's consistently near Rowan."

Arti nodded. "I don't want to manipulate him, but I think Rowan might not know what to think of Luis currently. Grouping him with Josiah would help."

My mother squeezed my hand. "Absolutely. No manipulation, I'm with you on that. But betas have a humanizing effect on their strong, silent alphas. I think Rowan could use a reminder of the fact that there's more to Luis than he lets on at school."

At that point, I asked to be excused from their discussions. I couldn't handle the implication that Rowan might not like me, or even fear me.

I have all seven of my classes with Josiah and two of those classes with Rowan. On that day, Josiah dutifully took notes and asked clarifying questions so he could re-teach me the material later. He knew that I absolutely could not concentrate with that smell in my nose.

Second and seventh periods, trigonometry and finance respectively, I couldn't stop myself from staring at Rowan. I loved tracing over the shapes of his body with my eyes. My pulse quickened at the thought of touching him, of kissing him, of hugging him tightly in the way my instincts begged me to.

I had never been attracted to men before. It had never even occurred to me. But I knew that I would have gone to my knees for him in a moment if he asked me to. I would learn whatever I had to, do whatever I had to, to make him happy.

It hurt deeply when the bell rang, signaling the end of seventh period. I watched Rowan pack up his bag and head into the hall, my heart breaking when I realized I wouldn't be around him for another fifteen hours.

I tried to savor my last glimpse of Rowan for the day.

On the way home, I told Josiah about the plans my mother and Arti had laid. He was ecstatic at the thought of being my wingman.

"Oh, I'm going to talk you up so well to him," he enthused. "Hell yeah. This is what I'm made for. He'll be falling over himself."

Josiah's excitement, coupled with Arti's assurances and my mother's determination, helped me survive until Thursday, when we would leave for the trip. My mother hadn't been planning on coming on the senior trip, but signed up so she would be there to support me as I tried to think of how to tell Rowan about what I was, and what I could be to him.

If he accepted me.

Needling at the back of my mind was that fear. The forbidden thought. That I would bare my soul to Rowan and he would reject me and my world. That he would move on with his life, move on to other men, and I would be nothing but a confusing fever dream for him.

If I survived the rejection, I would spend the rest of my life hollow, a scarecrow, a mannequin, unable to be the alpha my pack needs, forever in love with the man who smelled of pine needles and chlorine.

Weirdly, Rowan's presence calmed that fear. He felt so natural. He relaxed me.

Serena stepped up to the plate and helped buffet away unwanted attention from the Northwest Collective while Josiah helped me cope with being so close to my mate, but simultaneously so far away. The Northwest Collective kids were filled with spite over the fact that I had found my mate, and they were all driven mad because I hadn't revealed his identity yet. I knew it wouldn't be long until they figured it out; it's not like I could conceal how he affected me. I found myself grateful that Rowan was strong and confident and could withstand their hatred when they realized it was him. There was also an unspoken agreement among all of us that they would absolutely harass my mate when they found out who it was, but I would rip them apart if they touched him.

This morning, when I walked into the cabin, Rowan's scent was so strong I could hardly breathe. I longed to hold him close to me so I could keep that delicious scent fresh in my nose and in my brain. My heart broke when he seemed a bit taken aback by my presence. My brain warred endlessly with my slow, heavy body, but I couldn't make myself speak more than one word to him. I simply wasn't functioning properly.

When we gathered for the rules announcements, I tuned it out and focused on him. He seemed at home in the woods. He was dressed properly, for one, and his eyes kept wandering wistfully to the forest.

"He went to go talk with his mom," Josiah said, glancing at him before turning to me. I recognized that Rowan had caught him looking. Rowan's handsome face donned an expression of consideration after that, as though he was trying to figure out what to do about something. "I don't know what they were talking about, though."

"Wondering why he got paired with you, I bet," another pack member, Hannah Barker, whispered. "Since you don't really know each other."

I nodded at this. Josiah had asked permission for Hannah to be brought up to speed so she could serve as something of a beta's beta in this situation. I agreed because Hannah is smaller than Josiah and me, with curly hair and wide blue eyes. She's adorable, but I've play-fought her enough times to know that looks can be deceiving. Still, I figured that having a soft-looking pack member to do damage control would be a good backup plan.

Hope for the best, plan for the worst. I hoped that telling Hannah would prove to have been useless.

I watched Rowan's silent communication with his mother, an unspoken request for a solo hike. He was careful about how he slipped away from the rest of the group. I watched the bright red of his sweatshirt until it disappeared.

"I can't take it," I whispered to Josiah. "I'm going to approach him as a wolf."

Josiah's eyes widened. "Luis, that's the goddamn stupidest-"

I was already walking into the forest. When I was sure I was out of sight, I shifted. Shifting is easy and painless. The molecules that make up my human form sort of pour down into my wolf when I concentrate. It took years for me to master the art of shifting on command. Most wolves my age can't manage it.

It felt like Rowan's scent was actually getting me high in this form. I felt fuzzy and delighted, as though I floated over the forest floor instead of walking on it. I tracked him quickly and sat down when I noticed him sense me.

For a moment, when he looked at me, I was frozen in fear. Would I scare him? Would he scream?

I laid down, trying to make myself look smaller.

To my glee, he smiled.

My wolf brain isn't designed to interpret human language besides the mindlink I share with all members of my pack, so I just enjoyed the sound of his voice and tried to understand as many words as I could. He petted me and scratched my ears. He actually hugged me. I never wanted it to end.

Then he stood up. He looked at me, called to me, and headed back toward camp. I understood what he was doing. When he turned his back to me, I bolted. I heard him whistling for me and wanted badly to return to him, but instead I shifted back into my human form and hid myself among some ferns as I concentrated on the memory of being hugged by him. It was magical.

During the compass activity, I kept myself busy by trying to catch his scent on the wind and figure out where he was. Once, his group passed near mine and Serena had to catch me when I tripped over myself. One of the Northwest Collective kids, Kirk Wilkins, snickered at this. I stared at him until he cowered out and broke his gaze.

Then, after the stupid activity was over, my only thought (besides the omnipresent thoughts of Rowan) was consulting with Josiah.

"He liked your wolf," Josiah said with a grin, looking over at Rowan and Serena as they recounted the struggles of the activity. "He seems nervous that you might be homophobic about sharing a room with him. He's put off by the fighting. I said it was "build the wall" bullshit. That impressed him, I think. He feels for you, as one of the few other people of color at school. I told him to tell you about the wolf. I told him about Perry and Cheeto. Make conversation with him about that."

I nodded. "You're the best, Josiah."

He grinned and hugged me. "Ew," he complained, pulling away. "You seriously reek. Go change. We want him to fall in love with you, not puke at the smell of you."

I rolled my eyes, but decided he was correct. I went to change as I tried to remember if there was a laundry facility, and if so, where it was located.

Then he walked in. I smelled him immediately but pretended not to notice. I was gratified when he studied my mostly naked form for a few moments before the door shut and I could no longer play stupid.

I didn't know how I was supposed to act un-homophobic. I didn't know how to communicate that I was, in fact, the opposite of homophobic in my brand-new identity as a bisexual man. I decided that acting as though I wasn't bothered by changing in front of him was the best option. I responded to his casual conversation as best as I could under the current circumstances.

Unfortunately, his presence reinvigorated the rush of blood to my dick, and I wasn't able to turn and face him like I wanted to. I was relieved when he sat on his bed across from me, though.

Then he called me a dog. He didn't mean to, and I was beyond happy to hear that he liked my wolf. Still, the fact that he was grouping me in with the same species as my retriever and referred to me as someone's pet rubbed me the wrong way. I tried to play it off, and I think I managed to avoid any awkwardness, but my heart pounded in my throat when he left me alone in the cabin to go wash his shirt.

I wanted that shirt. Desperately. So I waited a bit after he left, then headed into the woods and shifted. I tracked him quickly and unfortunately knocked him over in my excitement. He played with me for a bit until the shirt caught my attention. Hilariously, he seemed to know what I was going to do. But when I saw him reaching for his phone, I ran. I can't have an Oregonian article about a huge black wolf being spotted in an area with no documented wolf packs.

Deeper in the woods, I shifted back and buried my face in the shirt. It smelled incredible. I tucked it into my pocket and slipped back into camp. I hid the shirt under my sleeping bag and decided to look for Serena and see if she had any ideas for conversation. She ended up telling me a long-winded story about how she had to pretend to be clueless about wolves when they did a biology project on them once. She's an engaging storyteller, and I found myself laughing along with Josiah as she recounted the incident and the couple of close calls he hadn't picked up on.

"It's almost dinnertime," Josiah said, checking his watch. "You should go find him."

So here I am, standing in the open doorway of the cabin I share with my perfect mate, frozen in place by the smell that hit me so forcefully I almost shifted then and there.

My mate, who dozes on top of his sleeping bag, still smells like pine needles and chlorine.

He also smells like latex, sweat, sex and Kirk motherfucking Wilkins.