Alien PoV:

Finally we abducted the humans. My assignment was to find two human "males" as they are called, and luckily these two were wrapped together in a state we've heard is called sleep. One was pale, with long dark fur on it's top and deep chocolate orbs in it's face that I think are called eyes. The other had hair that looked like beauitified spaghetti and blue eyes. They called each other by the code names "Will" and "Nico." I wonder what that's about.

The human subjects would be given a room on our ship with typical human accommodations. We sent out our best members to find these humans. The place we found them in was quite interesting. A dark, I think it's called wood, bed took up one side of their small room. A piece of fluffy material was spread out on the floor, and it was very pleasing to walk on. A poster of some human codenamed "Beebo" was on a wall that we took from the human's room to study. A small table was next to the bed and had a light-maker on it. A little chain dangled from the inside of this light-maker, and it was fun to use one of my three arms to mess with it.

I had the humans held together using these fluffy chain-things things I found on their table. They might be handcuffs, but they looked nothing like what I had seen on the human television shows. Pink fur lined the faux metal, and I doubted they were secure. They looked fun though. The abducted humans walked along our ship's hallways, taking in every detail they could. Nothing was interesting or out of the ordinary though. We had a few squids in tanks and a mound of uranium in a corner, so nothing crazy.

"What is this place?" The human with the pretty spaghetti hair said.

"I wish I knew. The government would kill for it." The pale human said.

These humans had such pretty voices compared to our dry ones. "It's ship hashtag twenty-one. A low class flight machine. Only used for human-taking missions."

"What?!" They both responded.

"Yes. Anyways, please let me show you to your room."

I opened the human door so they could go in. Their eyes absorbed the room. I had set out two typical laying pads since my kind don't have the weakness of needing "sleep." We do, however, like to lay down and contemplate the meaning of life, so we understand how uncomfortable the bare floor is. My friends had finished running scientific tests on the poster so we hung it up on the wall above the sleeping pads.

Their tiny human eyes were fun to watch as they darted around the room.

"Hey, umm, Alien thing?" Nico asked.

"Yes?"

"What are you doing to do to us?"

My, my. The poor kid looked scared- which shouldn't be possible since I injected them with a 100 percent perfect anti-anxiety drug.

"Well, my team and I will be running some tests on you. We'll extract blood, tissue, and maybe even bones-" Nico yelped, "- and run some scans on them. You'll also receive injections of assorted elements to see the human body's reaction. Don't worry, your eventual death will be slow and drawn out."

For some odd reason I couldn't begin to process, that scared them even more.

"So," I began. "You have approximately five human minutes until we are sending you to bed. Currently, you're our only live test subjects, so you get this room to yourselves. No funny business I heard about on TV."

Spaghetti hair muttered something like, "We don't even have lube," whatever that means. I checked my internal clock, to find that they only had four minutes now. I stepped out of the room. My old pal 241045 was waiting for me.

"Hey, bro." They've always been better at English than I have. "I got dis food for dem." They held up a red box, with yellow animal ears. "I gots dis from dis coooool place called McDonalds. It's called a Happay Meal. Two of them, I gots. One for each hooman."

"Great. I'll bring them in. Maybe I'll record them eating. Should I?"

"Nah. Ya know we gots enough."

I tried to use English to express my response, but I couldn't pull up the words. We decided, as a crew, to use English as much as possible to communicate for practice.

"Neehhhhrrrr whhaaaar fuuuuuuudddd arrrbbbb wooooooo"
(A/N The rough translation of this is, "But we need a variety of specimens to study. The amount we have may not be diverse enough." A couple words don't translate to English so I had to pick the closest thing. Thank me later.)

"Eh. You chose."

I grabbed the Happay Meals and went back into the room. The humans- wait, hoomans, that's how 241045 says it and he's always correct- both looked up from a close discussion. So close, in fact, I could see a string of hooman spit trail from each of their mouths. Their squishy faces had both gone bright red in what our research has declared to be embarrassment.

"I brought food."

Both of them looked happy when I handed a red box to them. Their hooman chatter was almost, err, krrrruuuuuff? (A/N your resident squid overlord helps again! I mean, wait, I'm a hooman. I promise! Krrrruuuuuff translates to unable to be listened to.)

Dark boy looked especially excited by the Happay Meal. "Will! A Happy Meal! It's been so long since you've let me have one."

Spaghetti hair shook his head. "Firstly, you had one last week-"

Dark boy shook his head, "A whole week ago!"

Spaghetti hair continued as if he wasn't interrupted, "- and secondly, they're unhealthy. Circumstances allow for this one time!"

"Fine. Doctor's Orders. I get it." Dark boy rested his head on Spaghetti hair's lap and violently ripped open the box and began to pull out the box's guts. I must have gasped, because they looked up at me.

"Nothing's wrong. Carry on." I gasped out. I pulled out my recording device and filmed them eating. The box had one paper-like bag thingy with golden sticks shoved in. Another paper wrapped around a brown, squishy, cylindrical thing with a strip of darker brown in the middle. As I watched, they brutally mutilated both of the boxes' organs. Their hands shone with what looked like grease, but was definitely the blood of the boxes.

They quickly finished the two organs and pulled out a third. For this one, they tore off the plastic to reveal two different organs. Dark boy had a squishy blue horse-creature and Spaghetti hair had a squishy pink horse-creature.

Spaghetti hair spoke. "Oh, look. They're promoting My Little Pony today. I don't remember what their names are though."

"Neither do I."

"I thought you were the anime fanboy, Nico."

"Yeah, anime! Not My Little Pony!"

I clicked off the recorder.

"What's My Little Pony?"

They both looked horrified. "My Little Pony is a hugely popular kids show! I thought you did research on humans!"

"Ah, well, I have not heard of that show but I will be sure to inform some of my superiors of it's existence. Time to go to bed."

"Umm.. I-" Dark boy began.

"Yes?"

"I need a nightlight to sleep." He whispered. Spaghetti hair patted the other boy's back in a comforting way as the poor kid looked like he wanted to fold up and fly into a black hole (both very real and dangerous. Two of my best mates were sucked into one. I quickly brushed away a tear for them.)

I was willing to help the hoomans. The only issue is that I don't know what a nightlight is.

"What's a nightlight?"

Spaghetti hair clarified. "Just a lamp. Nico needs a light on to sleep."

"I'll get one."

I didn't know if we even have one. I could ask a buddy to steal one, maybe. I knew a lamp was a pretty glowy thingy, so I just looked around for something that radiated light. I knew anything radioactive would harm the hoomans, so our glowing feces wouldn't work. A shipment of hooman goods had just arrived, so I snuck over to the ships.

"Hey. I need a, uh, lamp for my current project."

Another friend of mine, 784001, answered.
"Yeah mate, I've got one." 78001 always had the weirdest accent when they spoke English. Our leading theory to why is a disorder, but a hooman told us that he sounded different because he studied English in London rather than America. That theory is bollocks, if you ask me. I hope I used that word correctly.

The lamp looked plain and dumb. It was made from wood with a flimsy shield of white plastic, but I brought it to the hoomans anyways.

And just like when we found them, the hoomans were wrapped in each other's arms. I gently set the lamp beside them and plugged it into the hooman outlet we added in a few years ago. They looked so content together, it gave me an odd feeling- fondness? I shook my head. I was now released from my hooman caring duties.

After tomorrow I would never see them again anyways.

_______________________
I updated!

*world explodes*
*giants quiver*
*America caves in*

Honestly this one was really fun to write.

Bye little demon fluffballs!