THIS STORY WAS CO-WRITTEN WITH Fall_Out_Girl_16 

Nico stared at the male in front of him with a mixture of horror, and confusion. He was conflicted in the worst way possible. Will had just said the most important three words of a relationship, and Nico didn't know how to reply.

"Nico?"

"I'm sorry, I just-you." He was floundering his words. "You caught me off guard, that's all." He ran his fingers through his hair nervously

"So," Will prompted, hands still on Nico's waist, the two of them standing by the water's edge. They'd pulled away from a passionate kiss, and Will had said I love you, leaving Nico stunned. He didn't know how he felt about Will. His feelings were strong, that was for sure, but love? He didn't know.

"I like you, a lot. I think that much is obvious," He blushed at seeing how swollen Will's lips were. "I think I'm just struggling. I don't know if I know what love is yet. But I definitely have strong feelings for you."

Will nodded, though he still looked. . . disappointed? Nico swallowed, and lay his head on the blond's chest, trying to rid himself of the guilt about not knowing his feelings. "I can understand that, Neeks. Do you think you could ever grow to love me the way I love you?"

Nico's head snapped up. "Yes! Will, of course! I'd be an idiot not to." Nico chuckled, before continuing, twining his thin fingers in Will's curls, pulling him closer. "It's just, you know, I'm still getting used to being around people," Nico shivered, grinning at his boyfriend, "and well, being social, and accepted." Nico turned serious, "But if I'm being honest, I've never loved anyone other than Bianca, really, and that's a whole other situation. I just need some time to process, and decide what love looks like to me personally."

Will nodded gently, and then leaned forward and pecked his forehead. Nico smirked, unsatisfied, tilting his head up for a proper kiss. Their lips worked together smoothly, knowing just the perfect pace for the both of them, Nico's lips moved slightly more lustfully, while Will's moved with a patient gentleness, that still kept the shorter boy satisfied. Nico slowed, his hands disappearing into the flop that Will called hair, Will's own nimble fingers slipping under the hem of Nico's shirt, laying on the small of the shorter man's back, tickling the skin gently, making Nico squirm.

Nico finally pulled away, both males out of breath. Nico stayed with his chest pressed to Will's, Will's arms still around the raven haired boy's waist. "Thank you for telling me, even though I might not be there yet, I still appreciate hearing it."

"I love you." Will pecked his lips. "I love you, I love you, I love you. I'll say it as much as you want." He winked, peppering kisses all over the taller boy's face. "I love you."

Nico giggled - actually giggled - pressing his nose into the older boy's neck. The two stood there awhile longer, feeling the sand shift under their feet as the tide changed with the time. The sound of the lapping waves was lulling, sending a blanket of gentle calm over the two of them.

"Let's head back, it's getting cold out." Will suggested, twining his fingers with Nico's, and walking slowly towards the cabins, not wanting the time to end, but wanting some warmth back in his toes.

Nico dragged Will to his empty cabin, knowing that 1.) Will's siblings would kill him for waking them up, and 2.) His sleep wouldn't be interrupted by visions of Tartarus with Will there to make him feel safe.

The cabin was dark, but Nico didn't bother turning on the light, simply turned on a small lamp so that they were covered by a soft glow. Will yawned, not used to being up this late, and grabbed his pj's from the bed. He yanked off his shirt as he walked to the bathroom, ignoring the hungry stare from his boyfriend.

Will turned and smirked "Want me to change out here?"

Nico blushed, before averting his eyes, and shook his head. That sight never failed to send him into a fluster. When he watched Will train during the day it always did a number on his self control as well. Nico let out a squeak, and Will threw his shirt at Nico, before gently closing the bathroom door behind him.

Will sunk against the door, the smile falling from his face, and shattering on impact. He crossed his arms, resting his elbows on his knees, and rested his forehead on them, taking unsteady breaths.

Nico hadn't said 'I love you' back. Will understood it was hard for the son of Hades, but still. It hurt more than Will let on. He sighed, getting up, and finished changing into pj's, which consisted of sweatpants, and no shirt. He brushed his teeth, and placed the smile back on.

Nico was on the other side of the door, trying not to let the panic overtake him. They were fine. They would be okay. Will wasn't going to leave him just because he couldn't say three words yet, would he?

He shook all the thoughts from his brain and clenched his hands tightly to prevent the shaking from being noticeable. One deep breath, two. He looked up when he felt himself being enveloped in warmth. Will frowned, seeing the panic in the younger boy's eyes, and carried Nico to the bed, bridal style. Will sat on the covers cross-legged, placing Nico in his lap.

Nico looked up at Will with tear filled eyes. "You, you're not going to leave me, right?" Nico's chest ached at the thought. He would do anything to make Will stay.

Will shook his head, hugging the pale boy closer. "No, of course not! I understand." To Will's surprise, the younger boy saw right through the plastic smile, turning to straddle the blonde.

"Don't lie to me Will! I know I hurt you, and I'm sorry," Nico choked on a sob, "Sorry that I can't be enough for you right now, but I'm trying, I promise," Trying desperately not to cry, he tried to explain. He needed Will to understand. "I will love you! I will feel that for you, and maybe I already do, and don't know! Maybe I'll be sure tonight. Or tomorrow, or maybe next week, but you need to let me decide." Nico swallowed "Please, just, don't give up on me?"

Will couldn't believe Nico thought that of him. "I haven't stuck around for the last year just to give up on you so easily. I would never do that to you, and don't ever think that."

Nico shoved his nose into the crook in Will's neck, wrapping his arms around the blonde's shoulders, holding onto the older boy like his life depended on it. And maybe, it did.

"I'm sorry, I know that, I'm just-" He didn't know how to finish that sentence. And he didn't have to. Will understood, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

"I'm just going to grab supper, and then I'll be back at camp." Nico said into his phone, walking out of the hospital, done his shift. The glass door slid open with a swoosh. He was exhausted and did not want to cook.

"OK, sounds great! Chinese?" Will asked over the phone.

"You know it." Nico replied, softly grinning. Work had been stressful, he'd had to perform two autopsies and they had left him mentally and physically drained. He could also definitely use a shower.

He was about to hang up, when he heard Will speak again. "I love you."

Nico swallowed. "I, I'll see you soon." He hung up, closing his eyes. He was sitting in the car, still in the hospital's parking garage, car on, but in park.

He still hadn't been able to say those words back to Will, and he knew it hurt the blonde. Nico wished he could say it, because he did, he loved the blonde so much it hurt! But the words wouldn't verbalize. In any language.

Will ignored the pang of hurt that stabbed at his chest before muttering a goodbye and hanging up. He just needs time, he had to remind himself, but his patience was wearing out, and he wasn't sure how much more time he would be able to handle. It had already been a year since he first confessed.

The front door of the cabin was forcefully kicked open, startling Will, causing him to drop the book he was trying to read for school.

"Nico!" He admonished.

"Sorry?" He grinned sheepishly. "My hands are full?"

"Table or couch?"

"Couch! There's a new episode tonight."

They both headed to the living room with their takeout containers and sat down, Will taking up most of the couch and legs on Nico's body while Nico rolled his eyes and jokingly shoved them off. It was no use though, and finally he just gave up and grabbed the remote, flipping to the right channel. Will would just have to deal with him eating over his legs. So there.

Will had fallen asleep before the end of the program, and Nico sat there, testing out the three words, but he couldn't bring himself to say them. He closed his eyes, trying to force out the words. Why was it so hard! Nico turned his head to the side, biting his lip to distract himself, and stop the tears.

* * *

Candles gave the restaurant a soft glow, the noise from other patrons were drowned out by Will's calm voice - but Nico knew Will well enough to notice a waver in his tone, and it scared Nico. The black haired boy pushed the thoughts of heartbreak from his head, focusing instead on their hands, which were clasped together across the table, and Nico, who'd finally made eye contact with the blond, couldn't bring himself to tear his eyes away from the bright blue eyes that were staring back.

"Nico," Will murmured, running his thumb gently over the back of the pale boy's hand, "I, um, we've been dating for a couple years now, and um, I was thinking, would you, um, like to," Will coughed, suddenly nervous. "Would, you like to, to buy an apartment with me?"

Nico looked at Will in surprise, his dark eyes glinting in the light of the flame. "I, yeah. Yes!" Nico gave Will's hand a tight squeeze, a grin spreading across his face. He couldn't help leaning across the table to kiss the beautiful man sitting in front of him.

Gods, how did I get so lucky? Nico thought to himself, his eyes closed, the soft feeling of Will's lips on his own, and the gentle heat of the candle that was near their faces softly bathing his skin in warmth.

"I love you so much."

Nico just smiled, avoiding Will's eyes as he tried not to panic.

After they payed, Will shook off the hurt he was feeling, excitedly grabbed Nico's hand, and dragged him to the car.

"Will?" Nico laughed, leaning back as if he could slow down the stronger male. "What are you doing?"

"We're going house hunting!" Will exclaimed giddily, his blue eyes shimmering. Nico laughed again, the blond's enthusiasm filling him with elation.

* * *

"Are you ready?" Will asked, keys in the lock, ready to be turned, anticipation thick.

"Just open the damn door already, Solace," Nico was bouncing on his feet in excitement.

Will complied, turning the lock and swinging the door wide open. They hadn't put down the deposit yet, but they were the unofficial owners of this apartment. It was located in a decent area of the city, not too far from the hospital or school or camp. It was on the smaller side, but it was just going to be the two of them living there so it didn't really matter. They had already planned to convert the second bedroom into an office where Will could study. It was perfect.

The two of them stood in the brightly lit kitchen, Will was behind Nico and he wrapped his arms around the smaller boys frame, popping open the champagne together. He put it down on the counter and wrapped Nico into the tightest hug possible.

"I love you," Will was determined. They had just bought a house together, if Nico couldn't say it now as they planned to move in together, he wasn't sure Nico was ever going to say it. Please say it Nico. Please. Will begged in his mind. Please let me be enough.

Nico tilted his head upwards and connected their lips, trying to convey everything he felt without saying it. He put as much love and passion as he could muster into that kiss, begging Will to understand. I love you.

Will pulled away sharply, hurt flashing across his face. "How much more time am I supposed to give you?" He accused. Nico didn't have an answer. "I love you, you know that, but this, whatever this is, can't go anywhere like this. What am I supposed to do?" He stared Nico straight in the eyes, and let out a growl of frustration when Nico just looked down at the ground, not saying anything. "Are we supposed to get married when you can't even tell me you love me?"

"No, I do, I-" Nico trailed off.

"The only person I have ever wanted at the altar, the only person I ever wanted to raise a family with, is you." Will grabbed his hand slowly, and Nico finally looked up into his eyes. "Do you love me?" His voice cracked with emotion.

"I-I..." Nico struggled, but the damage had already done. Will had dropped his hand like fire, storming to the door.

"No, Will, wait, please," Nico called out. Will had his hand on the handle, ready to leave while Nico swallowed his tears, hands shaking.

"Will!"

"No, Nico. No. Do you love me?"

Nico nodded, but he could only open and close his mouth. Will shook his head, and Nico knew once again, that he wasn't good enough. He never was, and never would be. Maybe it was for the best. Will deserved better.

Will closed the apartment door, tears streaming down both their faces.

Nico choked back a sob. "I love you." It was a whispered breath that slipped through trembling pale lips. "William Solace, I love you!" Nico yanked the apartment door open, but the blonde was nowhere in sight. Nico scrambled to the other side of the apartment, tears falling faster. No no no! He needed that blond! Nico yanked open the doors to the balcony, and almost tipped over the railing in his rush.

"WILLIAM FUCKING SOLACE, I LOVE YOU!!" Nico screamed from the top of his lungs, sobs escaping him. "I. LOVE. YOU! Please." Nico's voice trailed away, as he sunk to the cold floor of the balcony.

"I love you." It was a whisper again. Nico rested the back of his head on the cold metal railing, tears still falling.

He knew it was too late. And it was his fault.

A scream ripped from Nico's throat, an uncontrollable heart wrenching scream, that made his throat sore, and could have damaged his vocal chords, but he didn't care. He kept screaming, pounding his fist onto the concrete of the balcony, not caring he was bloodying his knuckles.

Nico threw himself forwards, slamming into the glass doors, before slumping against them, sliding down and dropping his head into his hands. He had just pushed away the only person he loved and there was nothing he could do to get him back.

"I love you," Slipped from his lips, barely a whisper as tears rolled down his cheek. "I love you."

(A/N: So if you are a masochistic reader, stop here, but Fall_Out_Girl_16 did write a happy ending for it, which will be in the next chapter)