(Trigger Warning for suicidal thoughts, cheating accusations, as well as panic attacks. Please don't read if it will not be beneficial to your mental health because I care about you guys. Feel free to send me a message if you want a summary of what happens if you don't want to actually want to read it, I'd be more than happy to accommodate!)

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Will was happy with his life, that's what he told people when they asked how they were doing, but on the inside, everything felt like it was falling apart. He had graduated med school top of his class, had a job working at a high end hospital where he was beginning to work his way up the chain of command, little by little. But it was by no lack of hard work. Going through med school with dyslexia is one thing, working the long gruelling hours on his feet, watching people die because doing all you can and is just not enough is another thing.

But he was hanging in there. Every time he stepped into his apartment, it was like a putting down a fifty pound bag. He heard his fiancé  in the kitchen singing as he cooked. He snuck up behind Nico who was standing by the stove, stirring whatever was in the pot, and snaked his arms around his waist. Will placed his head on Nico's shoulder, breathing in Nico's scent while hugging him close.

"You smell like hospital." Nico tried to squirm away, but Will just laughed and held him closer. Nico admitted defeat before turning around to offer the spoon for Will to try the new recipe he was trying out.

Will tasted it and winked. "Tastes almost as good as you do."

Nico smacked his arm and shimmied out of his arms so he could finish. "Set the table please?" He kissed Will on the cheek and took the chicken cooking in the oven out and poured the sauce from the stove over it, setting it on the table between the two place settings Will had put out.

- - - - -

Will rolled over in his sleep and reached his arm out to pull his fiancé closer, but his fingers just brushed against the cool sheet on his side of the bed. Confused, he sat up. The ensuite was dark and the door was open, so Will got up and headed out to the living room where he paused, hearing Nico's voice. Why was he on the phone at this hour of the night?

Will leaned against the wall, accidentally turning the light on in the process, startling Nico. "Come back  to bed?" Will asked, raising an eyebrow and pouting slightly, knowing Nico could never say no to that face.

Nico mouth upturned into a small smile before he nodded, walking over to Will and pulling him into a hug. "Sorry if I woke you, Caro."

- - - - -

Will had noticed something was off with Nico the past few weeks, but the dark haired boy wasn't mentioning it, so Will resolved to just give it a little bit more time and make sure he gave Nico more attention until he was ready to talk to Will.

Nico wasn't singing when Will came home from work anymore, he hardly ever sung anymore. He was never out of bed before noon, and Will knew because he had taken to coming home on his lunch breaks to check on him, but he was up all night. He would go to bed with Will, and later Will would wake up and his side of the bed was cold. Sometimes he was in the apartment, sometimes not. Will was getting sick of it.

It was probably another week of this before Will came into the living room to hear Nico on the phone again. Will swallowed his anger, clenching his fist when he heard his fiancé speak.

"It's Nico again."

Will wasn't thinking straight. He slammed his hand against the right switch, causing Nico to jump up and turn around, hanging up the phone with a guilty expression on his face.

"Who is it?" Will stepped towards him, breathing deeply, trying to hold back the anger and the tears. Nico shook his head, mumbling. "Where the heck do you go at night? Who are you meeting? Who on earth is more important than the past two years of our relationship Nico?" He stepped closer and he could see the panic on Nico's face. He could see him beginning to have an attack so he relented, knowing Nico needed space when he was like this. Will took several large steps away.

Nico was curled in on himself on the couch, trying to breathe deeply. It felt like hours before he had finally begun to unfold himself, still shaking. He wasn't making eye contact with Will.

"I'm going to come sit on the couch with you, is that okay Nico?" Will stayed where he was, not moving until he saw Nico's head nod. Even then, he didn't sit too close to him, not wanting to set him off again. He wanted answers. "Are you cheating on me?"

Nico stayed silent, but shook his head slightly, pinching the skin on his wrist like he always did when he was scared.

"Can I see your phone?" Will asked, and his heart sunk when Nico just sat there, not looking at him. "Neeks?" Finally, Nico nodded his head so subtle, Will almost missed it.

It didn't have a lock on it, and there were no texts to anyone they didn't know. He opened up the calling, and tapped the most recent number, no name saved to it. It only rung for a few minutes before someone picked up. It was a man's voice on the other end. "New York Suicide Hotline, what can I help you with tonight?"

Will dropped the phone, tears leaking from his eyes, not believing what he had just heard. "Neeks?"

Nico finally looked at Will for the first time through this entire encounter and broke down, falling into Will's arms, sobbing into his shirt. Will just hugged him tightly, resolving to never let go.

(A/N: So I'm really sorry for this...I know how I think this ends in my head, but I'll leave it up for interpretation from y'all. Let me know how it ends for you guys in the comments! I promise that the next update will be a super fluffy holiday one, I'm hoping to have it up for the 25th. Again, please don't kill me. This oneshot was inspired by a post I saw on tumblr while scrolling through the angst tag, because I like to put myself through pain, but my idiot self didn't get the poster in the screenshot, so if you know where this is from, please let me know so I can give proper credit!)