Longing or Lust(p2)
Once again, mentions of sexual stuff, nothing graphic since the story skips over it, but just be warned!
Will's POV
The street outside is scorching and immediately he regrets stepping out of his car. The soles of his sneakers are melting off, and a bead of sweat drips down his cheek like a tear. But there's coffee inside of the building, and the best chocolate chip cookies he's ever had. He can bear a few minutes of excruciating heat for one of the best chocolate chip cookies he's ever had.
It's busy inside like it always is and the seats are full, ten different conversations happening above his head, mingling together with the sound of the coffee brewing and the crunching of pastries to create the haze of sounds he always hears when he steps inside, everything mixed together so thoroughly that he doesn't think he could pinpoint where a single sound is coming from. He wishes that it wasn't so busy, though; it would have been nice to sit in the air-conditioned coffee shop for a couple of minutes, sipping on his coffee and eating the best chocolate chip cookie he's ever had. But when he does a sweep of the store he spots someone he recognizes, sipping on a small iced coffee and flipping through a book and suddenly, he has a place to sit.
He gets the coffee and the cookie and takes a seat next to Nico, earning a tight smile. "Hey," Will says, taking a bite of his cookie. "Why are you reading in the summer?"
"It's summer homework."
"Lame."
Nico rolls his eyes, setting his book down on the table. "What do you want?"
"You want me to get you a cookie or something? They're the best I've ever had."
"That's not what you're here for."
"I'm here because I wanted iced coffee and the best cookie I've ever had."
"I meant why are you at my table, Will?"
"I want to buy you a cookie."
"Bye, Will." He rolls his eyes, picking up the book again. It's something about farming, and it has a grain of wheat on the cover. It looks boring and he puts his hand on top of the book, earning a glare from Nico. "I said bye, Will."
"Ok, hold on." He takes a bite of his cookie, chewing slowly as he tries to find words that will express his emotions, words that will convince Nico to put the book down and look him in the eyes, words that will convince Nico to scoot closer, to put his hand on Will's knee as he wants so badly. Really, he just wants Nico to come out to his car with him, but he's sure he can figure out something to say.
"Yeah?"
"I'm horny." Not as poetic as he would have liked, but his cheeks still flush light pink, so he knows he's achieved the same thing. "I'll buy you a cookie if you come to my car with me."
"That's prostitution. Prostitution for a cookie."
"Well, they're pretty good." Nico scratches his neck, glancing down at the floor and swallowing hard. He hesitates and for a few seconds, Will is afraid that he's going to say no. But he heaves a sigh, standing up and tossing his book back into his bag. He drains the rest of his coffee, the empty cup swinging in his hands. There's some still left, just a drop and a half rolling around at the plastic bottom, filling the groove around the edge.
"Do you have a condom?"
"I'm responsible. I should have one somewhere in my car."
"I fucking hate you." He says that but he stands up, slinging his bag over his shoulder and tossing his cup in the trashcan. He folds his arms over his chest, watching with one eyebrow cocked as Will crams the last of his cookie into his mouth, chewing with crumbs spilling out of his mouth.
"You don't mean that." He wipes his chin, bits of the cookie sticking to his sleeve. Nico winces.
"Yeah, I do. We're about to have sex and I just watched you shove an entire cookie into your mouth and lose half of it because you have a tiny mouth."
"My mouth isn't that small."
"Yeah, it is," Nico smirks, his eyes glittering. "I should know better than anyone." Will feels his face flush and he takes another sip of his iced coffee before tossing the half-full cup into the trash, listening to it clunk to the bottom. It was a good iced coffee, but he's got something better tapping his foot against the floor, waiting for Will to hurry.
They're in Will's car, the seats back as far as they can go and Will makes sure to keep his head out of view of people on the street, smoothing down his blonde hair so it doesn't stick up. Their clothes have been tossed to the bottom of the car and Will is ready but Nico is limp underneath him, his eyes staring out the window, at the tree blocking them from public view that dances and dances. "You're sure you want to do this, right? Because if you're tired, or not in the mood, I totally understand."
"Why wouldn't I want to?" His tone is flat and Will frowns, easing his body off of Nico's. He's never looked more beautiful, with the sun shining down and painting his body in a hue of gold. But there's something wrong, and Will isn't about to jump into anything.
"I don't know. You just seemed-"
"Hurry up, Will, I have plans later," he snaps, still staring out the window.
"You sure?"
"Yeah, Will." He just sounds tired at this point but he seems to know what he wants so he takes what Nico says as gospel, and hurries up.
------
Nico doesn't look happy when they're done but he doesn't look sad, either; he looks bored, almost, as if nothing of substance had ever happened. He might as well have just woken up or had breakfast. Completely average activities. "See you later," he says, sighing as he pulls on his pants and shoulders his backpack. He's about to step out of the car when Will grabs his hand and holds him back, sweaty skin together just as before.
"Wait. I never bought you that cookie like I said I would. Just lemme put my clothes back on and I'll get you one." Nico scratches his head, glancing down at the ground. There isn't anything of interest on the ground, just a couple of pebbles and a line of ants marching back to their hill. Will knows that Nico just trying to avoid eye contact.
"I was gonna go home, actually. My sister wanted me home. She has a thing." Will raises his eyebrows, pulling on his shirt and sitting up.
"A thing? What kind of thing?"
"Just a thing. It's important."
"Well if it's important, let me give you a ride home. If it's important, you should get there fast, right?" Nico purses his lips, still staring at the ground, watching the ants disappear into their anthill. There's a second when Will thinks he's going to come closer, slide into the front seat of Will's car and stay fully clothed for what might be the first time ever. But then he turns around, running his thumb up and down his backpack strap and Will's heart falls.
"It's fine."
"Why? It's really not that big of a deal." Nico turns back to Will, shooting him a small smile. There's something so sad about it, and a part of Will's heart shatters, a part he didn't know existed.
"It's fine, Will. It's not worth it. For either of us." Nico turns back around and it's at this point when he starts to walk his strides are final, and Will knows that Nico won't look back. He leaves Will sitting in his car, one sock still lying abandoned on the floor as he watches Nico disappear down the street, leaving Will with his cryptic words that are going to ring in his head for days to come.
------
"So." Jack glances up from the tv, the video game remote still in his hands. They're lounging on Jess's couch in his basement, the polyester torn from the hours they've spent on it to escape from the extreme seasons of upstate New York. There are chip crumbs stuck in the couch cushions and the empty bags are scattered across the floor and the room smells of B.O. but it's Jess's couch and Jess's basement and Jess's house and it's been their haunt for years so, despite the fact that it's gotten absolutely disgusting, he has to love it.
Immediately Jess kills his character in the game they're playing and Lucas roars with laughter, but Jack doesn't seem to mind. There's a glitter in his eyes that makes Will's muscles tense as if he's waiting for something big to happen. "Saw you talking to emo boy in the coffee shop downtown." Will frowns before realization dawns on him and he purses his lips, glancing down at the controller in his hands. Jess has already killed him, but he couldn't care less.
"Ooh, we talking about Nico?" Lucas says, grinning. "He was in my English last year. God, what a freak. Didn't say a single word the whole year."
"What were you doing hanging out with him?" Jess asks, glancing up from the tv. This is rare for Jess; he almost never looks up from the tv when he's playing video games. "You're too cool for him. Like, you're not cool, but you're still too cool for him."
"Oh." He scratches at his arm, side-eyeing his friends. He and Nico have only ever fucked; they've never hung out like normal people, who do normal things together besides have sex. But in the conversations they've had, in between and over text, he's seemed interesting. Cool, even, like the type of person Will would want to hang out with, without getting naked. He's imagined days getting coffee together, days spent in Will's house watching movies, days spent side by side. But it would kill him socially so he always pushes the thought as far back into his mind as possible. "I was asking him about the summer homework. We have the same history next year."
"I feel bad for you," Jack says, laughing. "Can't imagine spending more than five seconds talking to him."
"Tell me," Lucas says, his controller dangling in his hands. Even Jess has taken complete attention off of the tv. "When you talked, how many times did he bash you for not listening to 'revolutionary' screamo bands?"
"Did he tell you he hated you for being a prep?" Jess asks.
"Did he hiss at you?" Jack asks. The other two laugh and Will shifts uncomfortably, playing with the buttons on his controller. He could laugh along with them, crack a joke that would get him some sort of validation and praise from his friends. But when he thinks about Nico's smile, snarky and sarcastic and yet so sweet, and the way his skin feels against Will's, Will knows that he has to defend Nico. If he doesn't he'll never be able to look him in the eyes again.
"He's not bad," Will says, his voice meek. "He's kind of a cool guy." Jack, Jess, and Lucas glance at each other and suddenly Will's stomach knots and he wishes that he has never opened his mouth. But they burst into laughter and Will feels his heart raise and crack all at once.
"I swear, you get funnier every year," Jess says, shaking his head as he starts up the game. He props his elbow upon his knee, glancing at the other three. "Anyone want pizza?"
"Yeah. I'll order it," Jack says. "I like cheese."
"I like bacon," Jess says.
"I like pineapple," Lucas says, earning a glare from Jack.
"Absolutely disgusting. Will, what do you want?" Will forces a smile onto his face, glancing at his controller and biting his lip. Everyone else is designing their characters but Will is still, his heart heavy. He feels as if he's done something bad. Which he probably has.
"I'm fine with anything." His voice is quiet and he takes the pre-designed character that the game gives him, lazily making it run across the screen. He swallows hard and his mind is in turmoil but his friends don't seem to care; Jack is ordering the pizza while simultaneously arguing with Lucas about whether or not pineapple belongs on pizza while Jess eats stale chips out of a bag he found on the floor. None of them seem to notice that something is wrong; none of them ever do. But Nico would. He doesn't have any doubt about that.
------
He's been apart from his friends for hours, back at his house lying across his bed with his phone in his hand, scrolling mindlessly through his feed as his brain rots inside of his skull. When he had begun it was still bright out, the pavement still hot but when he glances outside of the window ghosts of stars are in the sky, the oranges, and pinks of the sky painting over the bright blue that's become boring. He's always loved summer nights; the way the air cools off so quickly, the soft breeze, the way the sunset lasts forever. He loves to take walks on these gorgeous summer nights, effortless strolling as he watches the scenery change around him, going from the warm hues of dusk to the glittering black of the night, the sky smooth. He's never had anyone to share it with; whenever he'd been with girls he would pretend to like, he had been too uncomfortable to share a nice moment with them but now, maybe, there's someone. Someone who he'd be able to take the walk with, to share a moment with. Someone who would make it meaningful.
The phone is ringing on the other end and he waits for Nico to pick up, hoping and hoping he's not about to be ignored. It wouldn't be the first time and he can't exactly blame him; more often than not, it's nothing more than Will being horny but this time, he needs Nico to pick up. This time all he wants is to spend time with him. They've never spent time together, Will realizes, and maybe a friendship between them would be nice. "What do you want, Will?"
"Oh, hey. I wasn't sure whether or not you'd pick up."
"What do you want, Will?" He sounds tired and Will is hurt, but he can't exactly blame him. He probably thinks it's a booty call and nothing more.
"Do you want to hang out or something? We could go on a walk, maybe get a soda or something. It's nice out." There's a pregnant pause on the other end and Will's heart sinks every second Nico doesn't answer.
"I don't know," he says finally, his voice faltering. "I'm not feeling well, I think I'm just gonna stay here."
"You were fine earlier."
"I- I have a headache." Nico's never been a very good liar.
"Nico-"
"I'll see you later, Will." The phone clicks as Nico hangs up and Will blows out a shaky sigh, letting his phone drop against his chest. There's a throbbing at the front of his head and he squeezes his eyes shut, rubbing the bridge of his nose. The air outside suddenly feels too cold and he sits up, slamming the window shut before flopping back onto his bed, the springs squealing underneath him. It isn't exactly a surprise that Nico doesn't want to spend time with him; the meaningless sex might have ruined the chance at something as simple as a friendship. Maybe they should just stick to the sex. After all, it's what they do best.
Hi guys, I hope you liked part two!
Nina
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