"Oh, darling, my soul
You know it aches for yours
And you've been filling this hole
Since you were born, oh
'Cause you're the reason I believe in fate, you're my paradise
And I'll do anything to be your love or
be your sacrifice"

Infinity-James Young

💫

We didn't even share a last kiss.

Leila basked in her viscous desolation, staring at the dewy mist that clung to the jagged mountains. That was a violet blanket over the now calmer waves.

Spring was less than a week away now. As Winter scorched the earth, the much less brisk air that magicked through her window threatened to thaw it away. The moon glowed more golden, the flowers waking up, posturing themselves closer to the only light they had. And that scent, of earth and soul and something warm tickled at her nose. Nothing like her hotter place of origin, but something sweeter than the frozen tundra that made her fingers ache. The change was proof that this icy, barren castle she had arrived to could soften with the change of season.

And still, she was a cavern of ice.

The night before she had turned her pillow into the ocean outside her window. Full of salt and feelings she couldn't put into words. That's the scary thing about emotions, you can know that someone is lying to you or trying to push you away, and your body doesn't listen. And this time, it didn't matter. She needed him to choose her. To choose her over the fear, over the unknown.

And he hadn't. Even after everything.

Leila still didn't regret telling him. If it hadn't been that story, it could've been another that sent him back to the rigid prince he tried to be. Any sign of any danger for her, and he was gone.

The princess understood. To have been twenty only two years ago, a man and yet still so young. To have three of the people you knew all your life slaughtered. He hadn't been able to save them. And Leila doubted he didn't try.

You aren't worth it.

You aren't worth it.

You haven't been loved.

But Leila didn't need saving. She needed someone who she wanted to save herself for.

And she'd never forget it. Maybe, maybe she could've forgiven him for the first transgression. But to tell her that she'd never been loved, to confess he didn't feel any love for her—

The numb didn't exist anymore. It was a scaly, crawling thing that ripped through her heart and sprouted wings. Ripped away from her forever, because she could no longer feel nothing. Love felt like burning, and she was glad she never admitted such feelings to him. For he would have carelessly, arrogantly let them wither with his 'protection'. He only thought of her physical well-being. And not of the heart that lay drenched and sore underneath a cracked rib cage. That was a hurt she never experienced and never understood and maybe now, now she could rationalize why her parents never gave her time or their affection.

Because to feel this as they watched middle child to be sent to the slaughter—no person should feel this. It feels so human. Shared as many heartbreaks are. She was Sorina, broken after the King did not stop another lashing. Azita when she realized she'd never be as respected as her younger sister. Setareh when she was cast from her home. Jeongguk when he discovered his mother dead by her friend.

But no one should have to feel it, not in any lifetime.

She still did, as she stared out the window. Imagining she was in his room, looking out at the oak tree and the sprig of lunetta. Hoping he would visit her rooms and just try to apologize. Or at least put her to use, and tell her more of his kingdom and ruling.

Nothing. And it told her everything.

Leila allowed herself one day. One day to sit and cry and feel all the self pity in the world. To not move. To have her brain shut off for once and not feel guilty for doing absolutely nothing.

Only one. And it already came to an end.

Because no longer would she permit herself to cry, to mourn, or to care for him again. To think of the words that she almost wasted on him.

Solitude was a sobering experience. No one had visited her rooms, not after she sent every visiter away.

Lily had left her nightly tea outside her closed door, with a gently scribbled note.

Dear Leila,
Whatever Taehyung did, he is an ass. And as much as I wish I could be there for you to talk about all the ways we could maim him together, I will be busy with planning the ball for the solstițiul de primăvară. Keep Setareh company for me. If you can get Jeongguk to leave her alone for more than an hour-
Love,
Lily

While Leila did not recognize the Pre-Tenebrian language, that was more than likely Romanian, she understood the context. Lily had talked about the extravagant event ever since they met. The spring solstice.

Leila read that note after gathering the tea tbhe next morning when it already turned cold. Still drank it as she sat on her window sill and  wallowed in her own pity.

And realized there was more to life than this.

Like the fact she had completely disregarded her younger sister, leaving Jeongguk to deal with her. Barely trained her powers or fought, her muscles losing stamina by the day. Hadn't even picked up a book.

He is so afraid?

I will not be.

Because Leila had been afraid of truly living for too long. She'd take every emotion, every pain, every heartbreak and be grateful for it. Because she was alive. She had freedom, enough people who cared for her and she cared for to lose. She had freedom to give her heart away, and have it given back to her bloody and bruised.

The prince may have pulled her out of the abyss. She was the only person who could keep herself from going back in. Relying on anyone too much would only ever lead to disappointment.

And she would not let it go to waste.

I am a fucking princess.

I would have been a Queen, if Taehyung didn't fear the title of King like his own shadow.

And I am going to start acting like it.

A plan started to form. One that started to warm her body, make the castle and lavender and silver room she lived in wondrous again. Made her fingers unthaw, and the cold tea in her hands start to taste like something instead of charcoal.

I am Leila Mahnaz Anvari. Third daughter of moon. Blessed descendent of the moon deity Mah.

She'd have the court under her thumb within weeks. To show him, to prove to him just how easily it can be done without the world falling apart around them.

The curse. It's origins, it's connection to their long and strange existence. She would do it with or without his help.

Just because she could.

She'd make him regret ever pushing her to the side.

Taehyung had been a distraction. And he wouldn't be able to control, or tamper with what she was about to do.

I will not lose myself again. And the rest would fall into place.

First on the list of things to reconcile with was her sister.

Leila left the window sill, waving her hand over it to shut out the breeze. She chose a dress from her armoire that would not require assistance to put on. It also happened to the brightest colored garment she owned.

It was a vibrant yellow dress, made of satin. The yellow of honey, the yellow of daffodils. The dress was short sleeved, the bottom flowy. The color contrasting beautifully with her tanned skin. She walked into her bathroom, placing kohl onto eyes that we only slightly remnant of her crying. Left her lips and cheeks without makeup, but pinched them to look coppery.

And then she smiled at herself in the silver mirror.

Leila barely recognized herself with the expression. It had always been aimed for, or in the presence of other people until now. Her lips stretched, with lined depressed into her cheeks. The way the ends of her eyes lifted up. Her white teeth and silver eyes.

And Leila decided then, she would smile for herself a lot more often. Because she deserved to see it too.

🩸🩸🩸🩸

Finding her sister was easy enough. Because she heard from certain castle servants that she was wherever Jeongguk was. And Jeongguk was easily kept an eye on by blushing and now envious maids.

She found them in the training room.

Encroaching on the gray stone space, she stayed outside the the open door. Situating herself so that she could see into the room without being seen. No, she hadn't arrived the intention of spying.

But she couldn't find it in herself to interrupt them yet.

The pair sat on the floor. Her sister's face contorted in concentration. Her deep red gown floating around her like the open petals of a rose, her hands clasped mannerly in her lap.

Jeongguk leaned towards her with intrigue, deep interest. His black uniform kept tailored to his body as he sat crossed before her, their knees almost touching. He nodded, as if to keep her talking.

"I see a flower?" Setareh said without conviction, her voice echoing around the large space. Enough so that Leila could hear from her place outside.

Ah, he was training her. Seeing if they could strengthen her gift of premonition. Leila felt a curl of guilt in her stomach, for not being there enough to even know that. But, she was glad the once intimidating noble took over.

He lifted his dark brows, leaning even closer. A small smile lifting the ring around his lip.
"Yes? Tell me everything you can. Start with the small details first, don't push yourself or the image is more likely to go away."

Leila narrowed her eyes, leaning forward only a fraction to hear better. Her sister's voice dropped lower, her eyes flicking back and forth under closed lids.

"It's a purple flower, floating near the shoreline. It's—the ocean doesn't look right. It's like the color of freshly brewed tea. Or dried blood. And then I see the night, stretching across the sky. Turning the moon from silver to brown. Like liquid dye floating across the surface of it." Setareh's eyes opened. They were glowing, almost yellow like an owl's. And they were trained right exactly where she was standing, "Leila."

The princess jumped back out of shock, swearing. Taking one large breath to calm herself down.

Wow.

That is a bit disturbing.

Leila wasn't sure if she would ever get used to that. Especially with her sisters amber eyes, that glowed more like fire or gold depending on the light. So bright when they had discovered her.

But the princess tried to play it off. Setting herself back and opening the door widely to make it seem as if she'd just come down the hallway.

Her sister settled back into herself, a small smile setting on her pinkish lips. Jeongguk lifted a brow as they remained on the ground in their positions, Leila standing over them with crossed arms.

"Hello princess, it's so kind of for you to join us after two weeks." Jeongguk said jauntily, leaning back on his arms.

The princess looked down to glare at him, giving the noble a warning. That was more than she would give to anyone else, and it was for her sister's sake, "I'm not in the mood." She made her voice a tad sharper, "Please leave us alone, I need to talk to my sister. It's something private."

Jeongguk glared back at her, but nodded. His eyes taking one more selfish glance at her sister. Who blushed at the attention. It would make Leila exuberantly happy if she hadn't felt sick for her own reasons.

The noble reluctantly got up, brushing off his clothes. Turning to Setareh, "I'll see you at dinner."

And trailed off. Muttering something about
one murderous and entitiled royal being enough, but two was insufferable.

Leila shook off the comment, not interested in whatever was Taehyung's reasoning for such behavior. Behavior that Jeongguk seemed to recognize in her too.

She cleared her throat, pulling Setareh's dreamy gaze from his retreating back. The girl smiled deeper, her dimples exactly like their father's. She seemed apologetic as she attempted to raise herself from the floor.

Leila shook her head, joining her sister where she was. Her voice a little wobbly as she started to speak, "I don't want you to think I'm only coming to you for information. I've just been down this week. But I'm back, and I would love for you to sleepover in my room when you can."

Her sister seemed excited at the invitation, her usually amber eyes lightning up. Before her forehead crinkled, her lips falling into a pout. Like she knew something she shouldn't, "Don't worry, I know everything already."

Leila's stomach dropped. She swallowed, looking down the edge of her nose. Hoping she wouldn't say his name. Or anything about it at all. Did she see it all? Their relationship in its entirety? The downfall of it. Don't say his name.

Because I don't care.

I don't care anymore.

I don't care.

"Your powers are truly-"

"Jeongguk told me. Also, anyone who is sentient can see that whatever is going on between you and the prince is-cataclysmic."

That's one way to put it.

A breath. Her chest felt less tight. Her sister's expression so kind and understanding, that pity didn't feel like too much of a burden to bear. "You don't judge me?"

Surely Azita would have. Elder Fareena already had, calling him a monster. Warning her. Reprimanding her.

A sacrifice turned mistress for her enemy.
She winced, knowing the thought to be a gross misinterpretation. But knew the world, nor anyone else would see her as something more than a betrayer of their own kind.

"How could I? It would be hypocritical for one, and he's intimidating and supposed to kill you to save the world...but he seems to be your match in all ways. He's been kind to me despite his ruse. I would not think you insane for falling for a gorgeous, brooding man with the same curse as you." Setareh laughed, wrapping her slender arms around her legs.

"You like Jeongguk?" This time Leila did not feign the smile, even as she removed the prince from the subject. Even though her heart plunged to her toes at the mention of him.

Setareh crinkled her nose, though she couldn't stop the wide smile that spread across her rounded face, "He's—very sweet. I just need time to know more about myself and control whatever magic I didn't even know I had. The visions are-" She paused, and her eyes caught that dazed look again, "Interesting. I just don't want to rush things."

Leila nodded, elated for her sister to find someone who was so sweet. Loyal. Not afraid to defend her in front of everyone else. But of course, the stakes weren't so high for them. And Leila was glad for that to be the case. She couldn't say much else, not wanting to embarrass Setareh with more rambling of Jeongguk. They would find their way together. And Leila was sure he'd hurt himself before hurting.

It's not like she could give advice either.

"Speaking of which, I heard you talking about that vision. Can you repeat it again? And more detailed if you can muster it."

Setareh inspected her a minute longer before understanding. Leila sat up straighter, transfixed as her sister went through the vision again. Struggling with more detail, but still trying to convey exactly what she saw.

The moon brown as soil? A flower floating in the ocean? Blood? It sounded like a premonition, an ode to the future. But Leila felt herself deflate, for she couldn't make any true sense of it.

And couldn't find any connection so the curse.

It must have shown on her face, for Setareh sighed her mouth lifting at the side, "I know you're trying to get around the curse. Of course you are. You never took anything at face-value. Why would you let yourself be the bitch of fate and the deities too?"

Leila tried to reel in her shock at her sister's soft voice cursing. Or the knowing expression she had in her doe-like eyes.

She hadn't believed anyone knew her enough before to make any comments about her character. The younger girl had always shrunk back against the princess. Too flighty to look at her for too long. Too scared to even speak to her.

"I didn't?" Leila asked, hoping her voice didn't sound as close to cracking as it was.

I thought no one was paying attention.

I didn't pay attention.

To my own traits. My own personality. How I felt about things, or how I interacted with others.

"Yes Leila." Her sister scooted closer, questioning with her eyes before she grabbed onto Leila's hand, which sat on her knee. The princess tensed at the touch, but it was welcome, "You were a whole person before you came here. Just now, you have the sovereignty to be you. Not a sacrifice."

And gods, how Leila had to pinch her own throat not to cry. The tears welled in her eyes, but she kept breathing through the new wave of emotion as her sister washed away the title they had both been given.

Not a sacrifice.

"Thank you." Leila replied softly. It felt stupid, insufficient to say.

Setareh smiled once more, pulling away her hand. She knew to leave the conversation alone for the moment. Leaning back with another expression of self-doubt, "I am even more saddened to inform you I haven't had any useful visions. Truly useful ones that aren't abstract. But I'm working on it. I want you to live."

"I plan on it." Leila said, her own croak of amusement rising in her throat.

Setareh looked at her, as if she saw more than Leila right before her, "But you also want to be good. Because now that you know suffering, you don't wish others to."

Leila didn't have the heart to tell her. That she wasn't sure if she was good. The image of children with hallowed bellies and spindly arms disappearing in the months spent in the castle. Replaced by golden skin, piercing teeth, and ember filled eyes. That bitterness had fueled her vengeance. That she wanted to kill her guardians sometimes, and sometimes she wished she could go back and make their elder Azita swallow the sea. She wanted to help those that suffered. But on her own terms. That Leila wasn't sure if given the chance to start over she would. That she would sacrifice herself to give back to sun, after everything she knew. Leila wanted knew methods. Would go to lengths people wouldn't dare to go to. She wanted to have a life too. And love.

Leila spoke again, altering the course of their conversation, "There is one thing that you maybe could help with. If your premonition doesn't limit itself to the further, but also can breach into the past."

Just because Sorina had showed her visions, and she believed them, does not mean the woman saw everything.

"What for?" Questioned Setareh, genuinely confused.

Leila wanted to laugh. What for? How to explain, that the curse they had been told was a lie. There were lies upon lies upon lies that built on top one another, and destroyed each other on the path to the truth. That Leila had been plagued by the beautiful, sad memories of a dead woman for over a month. That the prince had known little next to nothing, and then she destroyed everything they had by telling him the truth of his father and his prisoner. That the stained glass windows mocked both the sun and the moon in their secrets. That there was a third person more than likely involved with the curse, and it was probably someone they cared for.

That if she dies, the sun comes back. If the sun comes back, Taehyung and all his people die. But the rest of the world? They'll enjoy the pleasure they had lost 322 years ago.

That the stupid fucking book she has, that she can't even read is her only hope to find out more, other than going to bed every night in hopes for another vision. That she could barely trust herself, let alone anyone else.

"You can trust me Leila. Sometimes I worry that I am the only one-"

Leila told her everything. Everything. A waterfall burst out of her that she couldn't stop. By the end she was crying so harshly she choked on her mica filled tears. Setareh patted her shoulder as she sobbed through her words, sucking in squandering breaths.

"The Ritual of Day and Night? I mean how could someone pick a more obvious title? And still the prince and I are like two souls in limbo, knowing nothing of importance. Other than spouting speculation every couple of days we would try to figure something out. But honestly, we're grasping desperately for air."

Setareh squinted her eyes and pursed her lips. Pausing in thought as Leila tried to calm her breaths, slow her cries. It worked as she shakily let out a huff from her nose, and placed her hands on her chest.

It was quiet for several minutes before Setareh inquired slowly, like walking over a field of shattered glass, "How do you know the title of a book you can't read?"

"I didn't, not until Lily mentioned it the other day-" Leila halted from speaking more, her eyes widening as her sister stared intently at her. Carefully.

Filling the air between them with words Leila was too mortified to say out loud, "Lily...told you the title. Of a book written in a language that no one can read. Taehyung didn't even tell you a title, just the descriptor of what the book was about. What exactly happened?"

Leila could see it easily enough, of what Setareh suspected. Of what Leila's body knew to be true. She shook her head, hating how much she missed in her distraction. How little it all made sense, and too much sense at once. Her voice was grave,
"She looked at the cover Setareh. She looked at the cover, squinted her eyes, and slowly spoke. S-she read the cover. Not a guess, not a knowing. But read."

Lily.

Oh gods, Lily. Leila felt dread pierce her stomach, as she tried but failed to calm herself again.

This alone was not proof she was a traitor. It could be information she had learned before the royals death, as she had been a noble and in close circles with Taehyung and her brother. This information could be something that one would kill for if they could have it.

There could be a reasonable explanation for it. And Leila preyed to the deities their was.

"Well, there is your answer. You now have yourself a translator." Setareh said hopefully, despite the warning look in her eyes. She adored Lily too. And understood Leila didn't need to lose anyone else this week.

So they let their suspicions lay in their minds, a silent agreement that they understood.

But if Lily hadn't had ill intentions in hiding this information from her.

There was a chance. To figure out the curse. And Leila herself had found the key.

"I love you, of course we are related you brilliant minded little star!" Leila said with as much exuberance her introverted body could muster, throwing her arms around Setareh.

She really meant it. It didn't surprise her. Leila thought maybe it was something she said in her childhood towards Setareh, and it was later brainwashed from her mind. Because it felt easy. It felt right.

Setareh stalled at first. But after a few moments, hugged her back, her laughter filling the empty hall of the room, "I've never seen you so animated." Then more seriously, "I will help you always to pay back for what our family did to you. What I did to you. You're who I am loyal to here above all else. You're my family, and I will always love you. Even when I didn't know how to say it before. Even when I was too scared to."

Leila pulled back, feeling awkward. But also extremely whole. The words exchanged between them making blood feel worthy of her care again.

Take that, stupid prince. I know what it's like to be loved.

She patted the top of her younger sister's head. The motion feeling a bit mechanical, but Setareh could guess it was meant to be playful.

"I have to find Lily."

"Of course."

"Thank you for today."

"We missed out on a lot. Didn't we?" Setareh said with a nostalgic expression.

The door cracked. Slightly. A sound so small, it could've been the wind.

But it wasn't.

Leila nodded once, rising from the floor. Turning her back before replying, "Indeed, we have."

Though her and her sister's talk had still filled her heart with deep affection and belonging, she snapped back into her mode of focus when she stepped out of the threshold. Closed the door.

And took Jeongguk from his hiding place with a cut out within the stone. Pulling him by the back of his uniform, and slamming him harshly into the wall.

His dark eyes were wide with shock as he hung slightly off the ground, the shorter woman holding him up with a single hand. She bared her teeth at him, leaning in closer to his face.

She was done making herself smaller for these men. To prove she wasn't a senseless killer, or could lose her mind any minute.

"You're loyal to my sister? To me? To the crown?"
She bit out, and did not dare utter the prince's name.

"Yes!" Jeongguk yelled out, his words slightly choked by her grip. His hands pried at her wrist, and she did not move an inch. Showing him that she was indeed of more divine blood than most.

Her eyes were cold as she took in her sister's potential lover, assessing. None of it mattered at this moment, "Prove it, or you die. And I'll blame it on someone I don't like. They'll believe me."

What did he hear?

Was he getting closer to her sister to avoid suspicion? Was it all a plot to get back at the new daughter of the moon? Her hand pushed in tighter, making him struggle harder. Before he managed to rasp out, "I was, I only listened because I heard you mention Sorina! And her maid, Clarisse. I swear that's all I truly heard."

His eyes were genuine in their fear, and surely he would've mentioned something more important than that if he heard more of the conversation. She let him go enough for him to breathe again, some of the blood returning from his face to his limbs. But what a strange thing to pay attention to. He was holding back some information.

"Why would that matter?" Leila interrogated him, her snarl flattening into speculation.

He swallowed, his mouth curling into disgust and anger, "She was one of Sorina's only allies here. She was also my grand-mother."

The princess dropped him to the floor. The noble struggled catch his breath, his eyes looking at her with deranged fear as he managed to right himself.

Leila was so shocked, she blurted out the first thing that came to mind, "But you look nothing like her."

Clarisse, the servant who had been a friend to Sorina and looked extremely young. Too young to have ever been a grandmother. And too blonde to be Jeongguk's relative. It came as a shock that she was Jimin and Lily's guardian for a time, but she knew them to be low-born orphans. It wasn't more shocking than this revelation.

Leila forgot, that the second daughter of the moon had been kept here for a hundred years. Enough for Clarisse to have children, enough for her children to grow old and have children. All while Sorina stayed within the dungeons.

Jeongguk took an uneasy step away from her, still looking at her as if she could snatch him by the throat again. But he begrudgingly answered, "I take after my father. He's a high born descendant of the original people who traveled from the East to here. Like the king's family. My grandmother was the guardian to both Jimin and Lily, she died when we were children. My mother was her only child, and naturally became Sorina's servent, and friend, after her death. I'm glad she did not live to see what happened to her."

She was her personal after Clarisse gave up the position. Years and years they were friends to Sorina. Leila had not seen a vision yet with his mother, but she would need to pay attention when the timeline neared it. Some visions came out of order, but most had been in the time before the change in servitude.

She could understand Jeongguk's unyielding pain now more than ever. How blindsided they must have all been.

Sorina's friend.

So why? Why had she not been spared?

"Your mother, she was killed by Sorina. But why?" Leila asked aloud, trying to garner more.

None of it made sense.

The man took in a shaky breath, dark eyes forlorn, "That, I'll never understand."

It was quiet. Jeongguk stared at his feet, biting his lower lip. His eyes settling on nothing, but taking a glassy form.

She felt remorse for assuming the worst. Her voice was soft as she spoke again, "What exactly happened that night?"

"I'm not the one to ask. Some of it is hazy, some of it is red. Sorina's blood was silver, silver as the moon. As silver as yours. Some of it I can't recall at all because I blacked out from how horrific it was. I wish I could tell you but-" Jeongguk swallowed his grief, closed his eyes as if he willed the images to leave his mind.

Leila felt an ache in her chest, her tone stiff as she stepped away from him. Wanting to give him time to grieve. She had done reminding today.

"You're free to go."

Jeongguk looked up at her, brows raised with sarcasm, "How kind of you. Has anyone ever told you you're great at comforting people?"

"Yes actually." Leila deadpanned back.

A lie.

Noble Jeon couldn't hide his amusement then, his smile cracking the dale tension that began to turn from her. He nodded, as if to show he had already forgiven her for her outburst and show of divine strength.

But she needed to say one more thing.
Wanted him to be comforted by it.

"I don't want to hurt any of you." Leila said just as he turned.

He stilled. Remembering when he threatened her life. Rubbed his neck, the front of his throat. Where she had dangled him only minutes before, out of self preservation. She hadn't done it before. Even though she could have overpowered him. Marked him enough so that he could never make another threat ever again.

The man looked over his shoulder, with eyes much older and sadder than they should be,
"I know, but sometimes I wonder if Sorina said the same."

🩸🩸🩸🩸

By the end of the harrowing night, Leila had been both successful and unsuccessful.

Lily had not been joking. The ball for the spring solstice was indeed a large affair. So important, that she'd been sent to a neighboring noble homestead for the night to gather supplies and people.

But, in all of her inquiring, Leila had managed to avoid the prince. And an eventual breakdown, for she decided that even if Lily was disloyal, she would just deal with it tomorrow as easily as she lifted Jeongguk, an almost immortal and definitely not human male.

She placed herself back on her window seat, hoping for the best. Hoping she wouldn't lose anyone else.

Feeling ill as she wished she could hear a knock on her door. Bringing in hazelnut laughter, and perfumed, warm tea.

When the door clicked open, Leila whirled in surprise. Her heartbeat plummeting in her chest at who it could be.

Lily? Arriving back early.

The prince? To apologize.

She set the scowl on her face, ready to reprimand either when she saw an amused looking advisor.

"What have you done to my best friend?" Jimin's words were lethargic, as he lifted the corner of his mouth in a lazy smile.

The brunette waltzed in, despite Leila's obvious discontentment. Lifting her large, ornately furnished ottoman and placing it before her bed. Plunking it down, and then sitting himself on it in a huff. Crossing his legs, and finally lifting his eyes to her own.

"What? Are you here to spar with me in order to defend his honor?" Leila bargained for information, setting her back against the window she she could face him fully. Though it held no glass, it felt cold through her night gown.

Arguing with Jimin felt normal. Stable. She knew what to expect, even when it was chaotic. His insults could pull her out of her mind.

As long as he didn't go confessing anymore feelings again. Then she'd have to kick him out, even if he fought and screamed.

But the tension between them felt easy, even as he rolled his eyes. As if he knew she were on the brink of collapse. Just like before, "I miss the old you that didn't know how to emote. You were much less dramatic. I am just curious as to why he almost pulled out a sword on me today and threatened to lob off my head. He also canceled feedings for the week, changed the date of the council meeting, forbid any extra hunting, and sentenced two people to serving life sentences for...god knows what. Oh, and he didn't laugh at an impeccable joke I crafted this morning. Obviously he's lost his mind."

I don't care.

I don't care.

I don't care.

"We're done." Leila answered finitely. She thought about lying, but knew Jimin would call her out in a second.

The advisor's eyes flashed, an incredulous expression crossing his dainty face, "Taehyung? Done with you? You must not know my friend as well as you think you do."

Leila flinched at the sound of his name. Feeling the frustration and perhaps shame flooding her system. Jimin knew his friend better than anyone else, of course.

But he didn't know everything.

Leila became indignant, "And? What would your assessment be?"

Jimin leaned forward, his elbows rested on his knees. Pretending to contemplate, before fixing her with a stare, "Considering his propensity for self-sabotage and glaring communication issues, along with the constant fear of losing everyone he cares about all while worrying about being an unfit ruler, he probably said something prickish to keep you at a distance because he felt it would protect you from some variable even when can't control."

Fuck, maybe he did know everything.

"And if he did?" Leila lifted her chin, revealing nothing.

Jimin looked up at her, voice softer than she ever heard it, "I would call him spineless."

Her mood cracked. An answering smile weaved itself on her face, as his own lips answered.

"Spineless indeed." Then an afterthought, "You can stay if you'd like. For the night."

Jimin leaned back, startled by her request. He looked at her, as if searching for another reason. She'd let him think what he wanted.

But she was lonely. He was her friend. And he managed to make him forget about the hurting in her chest just a little.

"And what. You're inviting me to stay over to magically grow him a spine?" Jimin accused, thinking back to every other time she'd made requests of him.

The princess rolled her eyes, letting her head fall back further onto the window, "I don't attempt the impossible."

She answered vaguely. So whatever Jimin wanted to hear, he heard. She just wanted him to stay. Insult her more. Make her laugh so in her most lonely hours she didn't cry. And she wanted to know more about him. More about Lily. Jeongguk reminded her she needed to keep up with other's lives before she assumed the worst of them.

Jimin whistled, "Damn. I think I like this version of you. Being heartless suits you."

Ah, so he assumed she meant to make the prince envious. And again, he agreed. She was fine with it, it felt too vulnerable to admit she just wanted to talk.

"Maybe that's all I was meant for." Leila lifted herself from the window. Laying down on her bed. She watched him carefully, a warning as she wrapped herself in a blanket. Pulling on another, "You can join if you'd like."

Even though their would be a boundary of cloth between them, his smile turned suggestive. Hiding the true spark of nerves and awe writhing within them. In a place even Leila couldn't see.

She moved over as close to the wall as possible as the advisor slid in. With her on her side facing him. His chest facing the ceiling as he let out a sigh. Leila turned off the fireplace, the lamps with magic. Shrouding them in darkness.

She focused on the steady, albeit quick sounds of Jimin's heartbeat. The heavy thump settling her own pitiful one. That lagged and sometimes skipped.

Jimin's honeysuckle voice filled the void between them, a hint of jest, "So no kissing? Light petting? A quick fondle perhaps..."

As his voice trailed off, Leila slapped his chest. The man groaned playfully, her own laughter hidden under her heavy blanket.

Leila calmed herself, just enough to answer him seriously, "Jimin. Just because I don't want him doesn't mean I'm going throw myself at you. Got it? You're my friend, and that is all."

The man hissed in annoyance, settling her stomach. She had been worried yesterday that it would change their dynamic. But even with all his insults, his jabs, and his suggestive jokes she knew he had come here to keep her company. That she was not okay, after everything with the prince. He knew not to push, when she was suffering.

He was being her friend.

"Right, I was just asking. Checking off all the requirements of being a stoker of jealousy." The man responded back, making light of all the other times she'd asked him to do so.

"Oh shut up." She'd said again, after a bout of laughter.

"This is nice." Jimin said softly, after a few minutes of comfortable silence.

Leila felt her eye lids get heavy. Her breath more and more even.

"Yeah." She managed to say, though it felt slow on her tongue.

Jimin cleared his throat, suddenly vulnerable,
"One thing Taehyung doesn't know about me, is that I get lonely. I hate sleeping by myself. Especially in the dark. I always keep a lamp on beside my bed, just in case."

It was shocking enough that Leila was able to lift open her eyes again. Throaty as she questioned him, "The fearsome advisor? Afraid of the dark?"

He let out a breath of laughter, though he sounded ashamed, "Yes. It's fairly inconvenient. For many reasons. Ever since I was a boy, I dreamed about a monster of shadow. That ran its claws under my bed, and I would feel it click over every wooden beam. The shadow would lift itself over my bed, over my head until I couldn't see anything but darkness. It would whisper my name, over and over until I opened my eyes. And then that's when it would swallow me whole."

Leila shivered, knowing the horrors of her own dreams. How it must have been so scary for a child, "That is horrifying. You don't see it now anymore, do you?"

Jimin turned his head, just enough moonlight to filter in from the windows. Show the fear that still remained in his black eyes, "I do. I just grew up, and instead of waiting until I am asleep, the shadows come when I am awake."

Leila frowned deeply, wishing she could help him. Whatever that darkness in his life seemed to be. But she couldn't keep her eyes open for any longer.

"Good thing you're friends with the moon, right?" Leila mumbled, not even knowing if he heard her. If her words made sense.

So she reached forward, and fell asleep holding Jimin's cold hand.

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(A/N: Jimin, babe, what you up to? You're being too girly pop, baby boy, good bestie for my liking :(((((((

Also we all knew for a minute that Leila is smart. But we haven't seen too much of her scheming. This is when the plot thickens because the honey moon phase is over!!!!! My girl isn't distracted by the prince anymore. You're going to see the REAL characters get fleshed out. I'm soooo excited to write this!

Also do we love Setareh? (Se- TAR (like car)-reh (almost like ray but more like eh eh ending) it means star so that's why Leila called her that!

You all got a sneak peek of Taehyung. When I said morally gray, I meant morally gray. Ahhhhhh I love it, I love it.

Again this is long ways away, but would u guys be interested in knowing the changed character names if I published the book? I would like to make sure they fit well 💕💕(Leila would of course stay the same)