Present Day

Setting foot into the haveli...

That was all it took for Bondita to feel goosebumps all over. 

Knocking down the Kalash full of uncooked rice by accident was all it took for Bondita to feel an instant connection to this place. 

Bending down and picking up the handwritten note from a zamindar of the past was all it took for tears to pour down her cheeks.

In case our Goddess, our household's Maha Lakshmi comes back.
Bring fortune to our ill-fated days again, Bahu.

What connection did she have to this place?

Her heart was beating incredibly fast, but also painfully. It was aching, yet full of intensity. Why did she feel like she knew this place?

Slowly, she entered the dusty haveli. Coughing, as the dust particles infiltrated her nostrils, Bondita looked around the darkness. 

She couldn't see much, but her eyes were adjusting slightly. 

Bondita used her hands to feel her way across the main entrance, towards a big room. It seemed like a living room. There were sofas in the living room, all covered with a white cloth. 

Bondita went to one of the sofas and lifted the white cloth off, causing tiny dust particles to fly up in the air. Bondita sneezed, her eyes watering. 

Her hands ran across the top of the sofa, and she went towards the side table, where a phone resided. 

Tring Tring.

She could hear a small girl's voice. 

"Maa?" Bondita just said out of instinct. 

Suddenly, she had a vision of coconut shells. 

What was that vision? 

Bondita made it across the living room, towards the dining room. 

She touched a chair there. 

"Maa, kheer!" she could hear a child's voice say - a different child. This one was a young boy.

"I want chocolate!" she heard a girl yell. "Don't steal my things Girish!"

Girish?

There was another child sobbing, and Bondita's eyes landed on a high chair. 

"Ambika's causing trouble!" Girish yelled. 

What was Bondita hearing? She pressed her hand to her head, feeling very dizzy. 

"If you're finished running after the kids, is it finally time for some Pati Seva?" she could hear his teasing voice, and her heart jumped. 

Why did he sound so much like her husband Anirudh?

Why was she hearing voices, so loudly and so clearly? She couldn't make sense of it.

Her legs somehow took her to the kitchen, where she got flashes of sitting as a child, learning how to cook - and a man with a cane yelling at her and teaching her. 

Tears rolled down her cheeks at a faster pace. 

"What am I seeing?" Bondita sobbed as the visions clouded her mind. "What's wrong with me?"

Why did it all feel so familiar, yet distant? 

Like it was from a long time ago... like it was someone else's life she was looking inside?

Bondita found the stairs and walked up, the floorboards suddenly making creaking sounds. This place was clearly very old. 

She went inside the bedrooms one by one, tears rolling down her cheeks faster with each room she went in. 

She heard the screams of three children inside the kid's bedroom she went inside. 

She heard fighting, she heard bonding, she heard love. She heard... and felt so much. 

So much of someone else's life. Someone else's memories. Very closely, as if they were her own, but also very distantly, as if they belonged to another. 

In the children's bedroom, there was a picture hung on the plastered wall.

Three young children. 

Two of them looked the same age, about eight years old. The boy was holding a baby, of maybe a year old, in his arms. The girl was dressed in a frock, and the boy in suspenders. 

Her fingers touched the picture. 

They looked so familiar. 

"Who are you?" Bondita cried to the picture. "Why do I feel a connection to you? Why do my eyes get moist when I walk through these walls? Why do I hear your voices screaming and laughing? Why does my soul tremble, and my heart ache? What is happening?" 

Bondita leaned towards the picture and pressed her forehead against it. 

"Who are the three of you?" she cried. 

She had no idea what this place was. She didn't know why she was brought here... other than the fact that Anirudh's Thakurda wanted her to visit. 

Why did he want her to visit? 

She had to investigate further. She had to figure out what connection she had to this place, because this was not normal. 

Bondita left the kid's bedroom and went into the bedroom next door. 

The bedroom of Barrister Anirudh Roy Choudhary and Barrister Bondita Anirudh Roy Choudhary.

--

October, 1950

She didn't have the energy in her to scream with pain, when the first incision was made on her belly. Saiyeesha tried hard to stop her fingers from trembling, but it was difficult. 

Bondita's face was matted with sweat, pain coursing through her veins, because there was no anesthesia. 

She could feel each jab of the knife as she was cut open. 

She was a mother. 

And as a mother, she was willing to go through the most painful of experiences. 

Bondita didn't know when she passed out. 

She couldn't recall the moment, because her life force was already weak. She already knew she wouldn't make it even if she tried. 

After what happened to her Pati Babu, she was very frail. Her vitality had left. 

And now, with the surgery, her final attempt to live was to leave her life behind in the form of her youngest child. 

However, she knew that she wouldn't even make it to see their face. 

As her eyes closed, she wondered whether this was it. Was this her never-ending slumber?

"Didi," Saiyeesha cried when Bondita lost consciousness. 

But Saiyeesha had to remain focused. 

Bondita's breaths were getting weaker, and Saiyeesha knew it was now or never. She had to save the baby no matter what. 

Thankfully, a doctor arrived and took over a few moments later. 

Saiyeesha let go of her supplies and let the doctor take over, as she trembled and shivered. 

"Save... save my Didi too, please," she begged. 

The doctor looked Saiyeesha square in the eyes and said, "It'll be a miracle if we can save the baby itself right now. Don't have any hopes for anything else." 

Saiyeesha pulled her knees to her chin and cried hard.

Where had it all gone wrong?

On the other hand, Bondita had a dream.

A last dream. 

A final dream in this body.

"Bondita?" his familiar voice could be heard in the echoes and recesses of emptiness. 

"Pati Babu!" she screamed. "Where are you, Pati Babu? Why can't I see you?"

"I'm here Bondita. I'm here," he said in a reassuring voice. "I'll always be here."

"I... I don't see you!" 

She looked around but couldn't find his form. There was only emptiness in all the directions around her.

"The reason you can't see me is because it's time to travel beyond our senses Bondita. In order to see, we need a body. And now it's time to move on to a new world, a new life, and a new beginning. It's time to follow the path of karma, and traverse different planes of existence together." 

His voice paused, and he said in a calm, warm, understanding voice. "Will you come back here with me Bondita? Will you come back to this world, by my side, if we were to be born again?"

"Always," she breathed out. "I'll always come with you."

"Then let's leave. Let's go together..."

She had always seen him as her Bhagwaan. So it was only fitting, that he would be the one to accompany her out of here.

"But... Soham," Bondita cried. "What happened to Soham?"

"It's time to leave this life behind Bondita. It's time to let go of the attachments we have to this place."

"Did Soham make it?" Bondita sobbed. 

She could hear his voice getting distant, and Bondita could feel herself rush after him. 

"It's not for us to decide," Anirudh said calmly. 

"I couldn't feed Soham my breastmilk," Bondita sobbed as she followed his voice. "I couldn't hold Soham even once in my arms."

Anirudh murmured, "Bondita, if it is meant to be then it is so."

If it is meant to be, then it is so.

She could feel restlessness in her heart, and her head turned back once. Just once. 

"I want to know what happened to Soham," Bondita thought, as she followed Anirudh's voice into the darkness. "I wish I could spend time with my child... even if it was a little while..."

Desire never had a timeline. 

A desire from a past life, could fruition in a future one.

Bondita followed Anirudh's invisible presence in the darkness, feeling herself grow calmer as they walked, "You found me so fast in this life. You found me as a child. Perhaps in a previous life, I begged for you to find me fast. And you did." 

She continued, her voice echoing softly in the emptiness, "This time, marry me quickly after we meet again. Then we can go through all the struggles if we need to. But marry me fast so we can't ever separate!"

She could hear his chuckle. 

"I love you," his voice said. 

"I love you too."

In the world, she took her last breath, and Bondita Anirudh Roy Choudhary was no more. 

Only her lifeless body remained... and a few moments later, the doctor pulled out the baby within. 

"Is the baby a - alive?" Saiyeesha asked. 

And this was how, the tale of the past, ended.

--

Present Day

As soon as Bondita stepped foot in the bedroom, she nearly passed out. 

This was beginning to feel more and more real. 

Her legs that carried her, nearly caused her to fall over. It was a scary experience - familiar, yet terrifying because her body was reacting and shivering in a way that it was not used to. It seemed like a shock, yet her mind couldn't figure out what was happening. 

Her soul was breaking free from inside, trying to break the barrier of her mind, so she could remember the past. 

However, her mind was blocking any of her soul's advances. 

Her body was the one who was trembling and shaking from the fight between her soul and mind. 

Bondita looked around the room. 

'It's like how we left it...'

She didn't know where that voice came from. 

Yet, as if she knew, she went to the wardrobe and opened it. 

On one side, there were a man's clothes - waistcoats, dress shirts, pants. On the other side, there were a woman's sarees. Banarasi sarees. 

There were also barrister robes. 

"Barrister Babu Bondita..."

She could hear his voice again. The voice sounded like her husband Anirudh. 

He sounded so proud of her. 

"Pati Babu!" she could hear herself giggling and screaming, and she had another flash in front of her eyes. 

He was chasing her around the room, as they were playfully flirting. 

"What are you doing Bondita, the kids will hear," Anirudh was teasing her. "What will they think if they see their Baba chasing their Maa around?"

He captured her in his arms from behind, pressing his mouth against her cheek.

Bondita tried to break free, but he snuggled harder with her. 

"Come to bed now miss," he said in a husky voice. 

"There's a case tomorrow, I have to prepa -" before she could finish her sentence, she moaned, because Anirudh had pressed his lips on the crook of her neck, knowing exactly how to make her succumb. 

"You can prepare in 15 minutes," he blew the words into her ear, and Bondita melted against him. 

The Bondita in the present day smiled. 

"It didn't take 15 minutes," she giggled. "I didn't get to prepare at all that night! I had to wake up early the next morning because of you!"

She suddenly paused. 

Why did she know this? And why was she referring to herself?

She had to surely be imagining things. What was wrong with her?

"No... something is strange. I have to find out what this place is," Bondita said urgently, and then she began rummaging through the wardrobe. 

She found matchsticks and a candle. She could hear the thunder roar outside.

She lit the candle with the matches and held the source of light up, directly shining the light in front of a wedding picture on the wall.

A loud gasp escaped her lips. 

It was Anirudh and Bondita Roy Choudhary from history. It was their wedding picture. They looked so happy together.

It was the same Anirudh who looked like her husband. 

"Why did Anirudh's Thakurda send me here?" she asked, and then she looked around further, resting the candle against the table as she searched.

She found an album. 

Sitting on the bed, Bondita flipped open the album. 

There were lots of pictures of Anirudh and Bondita. Pictures of their family members. Their children, their parents, their extended families, and even of Batuk Roy Choudhary. 

"He also looks like Pati Babu," Bondita said with a smile, then she stopped her speech. "Wait... why did I just call him that?"

Pati Babu?

She set the album aside and found a bunch of letters in the wardrobe as well. 

She noticed that every time Bondita wrote to her husband, she would call him Pati Babu. 

She heard those words in her dreams before. She would yell Pati Babu in her sleep. 

"What is happening?" Bondita suddenly cried, her heart hammering hard. Tears began rolling down her cheeks as she grew emotional again. "Am I going crazy? Why is this happening?"

What was this strange connection? Why did she recall memories of someone else? Why did she dream about Bondita and Anirudh Roy Choudhary from history?

Had she lost her mind? She couldn't be okay!

She studied psychology. Perhaps she herself needed a psychiatrist. 

Bondita took a deep breath and decided to examine the house further. Even if she was crazy, since she was here, she could at least try and figure out what was going on. 

Everything was starting to feel way too real.

So she went through the different rooms, collecting evidence. 

In Anirudh's Kaka's room was where she stumbled upon letters from Anirudh and Bondita, from when they went into hiding. Months before they were killed. 

She noticed that they had been planning a disguised escape. 

Bondita went downstairs, to where the study was. 

She knew there was a study, but had only walked past it earlier. 

"How did I know that this was here?" Bondita wondered, as she wandered through the study, and sat on the chair Anirudh Roy Choudhary from history used to sit on. 

A smile crept up on her face. "He was my Shikshak Babu! He taught me to read and write!"

She suddenly stood up, her heart feeling warm.

"He was my Shikshak Babu, my Pati Babu, my Birristira Babu. He was my Roopa, he was my everything!"

Bondita shivered again. 

This time not because she was scared, or because of the sudden shock from earlier, but rather because it was starting to feel more and more familiar.

She couldn't have read about this. How would she know? 

And why did she connect it with herself? 

She was barely 22 years old. Very young. How could she be connected to people and memories from the mid-1900s?

If anything, these were her husband Anirudh's ancestors. This was Anirudh's family! He should be connected. Why was she feeling this? Why was she recalling such things?

Have I really lost my mind?

She rushed out of there and went to Durga Maa. The idol in the home mandir. Her Durga Maa. The one who she lost faith in this life. 

Somehow, Bondita knew where she was too. 

"M - Maa!" Bondita cried, and fell to Durga Maa's feet. "Only you can clear this conflict in my mind. Why do I remember things, as if they were my own memory? W - Why do I recall Bondita Roy Choudhary from history's memories? Why am I involved in their private life in my mind? I'm - I'm seeing Bondita and Anirudh's intimate moments! Why do I know of their life from within me? I'm n - not Bondita Roy Choudhary, not the one from history, then why?"

She got up and lit a lamp there. 

Her soul was mixing with her mind. Her mind was fighting until the end, yet her soul was slowly making its impact and winning the war. 

She found a conch and blew into it loudly. 

Maa, I know you haven't been worshipped here for many years. But I'm here now. Won't you remember our relationship?

Putting down the conch, Bondita lifted the aarti and bell, ringing it loudly with her left hand, while showing the lamp to the Devi, performing Aarti. 

Durga Maa...

"Only you can light me up from inside now Maa. Only you can enlighten me."

She focused fully, doing her puja with full intensity - an intensity that came from a past life... one that she had never built up here. 

In fact, she never believed here. 

Yet, it all came naturally.

And Maa came through for her. 

As her body relaxed and she began to reach a meditative state through the puja, she could feel the dawning of her past. 

She suddenly started to familiarize herself with and recall who she was. Where she came from. 

Her memories came flooding back. 

Her marriage with her Pati Babu, her first steps into the haveli, their rocky relationship...

Hira Mandi, their bond, their love, him pushing away his feelings, their reunion. 

Her studies, her relationship with the other family members, her going abroad to London and becoming a barrister... 

Her coming back here, their marriage, her first pregnancy with the twins, her second pregnancy, her final pregnancy...

His death.

A loud, painful gasp escaped her lips. 

He died.

Pati Babu died.

She continued the puja with intensity, still not breaking focus. 

Until she recalled her final moments. 

"Soham," Bondita cried out as she recalled the first incision of pain while Saiyeesha attempted to deliver her unborn child, "Soham..."

What happened to Soham?

Bondita finished the puja and put down the lamp and bell, looking at Durga Maa with wet eyes. 

She was feeling so overwhelmed. Her insides felt lit up with the light of her past.

Bondita Anirudh Roy Choudhary was finally resurrected. 

"This was my past," she sobbed. "Everything was from my past. All the memories were my own. I - I'm Bondita Anirudh Roy Choudhary. And I took birth again, with Pati Babu. Just like we promised... w - we came back. Just like we said we would. Oh... God... We are really here."

It was like she was dreaming now, but she knew this was real.

Bondita folded her hands in reverence, praying in front of Durga Maa.

"I'm so sorry Durga Maa. I doubted you all my life. I never believed in God," she cried. "I lived a mundane, meaningless life, complaining about so many problems. I didn't realize there was a bigger picture, a longer journey. I didn't realize the story. The larger story." 

She touched her chest, where her heart was beating fast. 

So fast. 

"I don't know what happened to everyone. I don't know -" Her mind recalled Girish from this lifetime. Her mind also recalled Bhavani, who had gone blind, and tears fell down her cheeks as her heart ached. 

"My children... my children," she cried. "My... my children..."

She fell to the floor and recalled Batuk. "He's... so... old..." She cried. "So old now!"

Everyone was so old. 

Was it a blessing that she remembered the past or a curse? 

She would most probably have to outlive her own children now.

Tears poured down her cheeks, as she felt so many emotions at once. Pain, longing, desperation for her children. Yet, somehow a relief knowing that she knew where they were. That they were okay. 

Then she thought of her Pati Babu, the one who had come with her to this life. The one who walked through every step of her journey with her, the companion that he was.

And she suddenly couldn't help but smile with utter happiness. 

"Pati Babu...?" she said with wet eyes, "You... you came here with me. Just like we promised." She wrapped her arms around herself, craving his touch suddenly. "I... I can't bear to be away from you... not a moment longer." 

She looked at Durga Maa with gratitude. 

"Maa! Thank you, Maa! Thank you so much! I... I'm feeling very sad at the thought that my children have grown so old and my time with them will be limited, but at least now I... I know a deeper part of the story."

She stood up and said, "I... I need to find Pati Babu. I need to find him now." 

She shook her head, "I won't spend a second away from him anymore. I won't trouble him anymore." Tears rolled down her cheeks, "I fought with you so much in this lifetime. S - Sorry Pati Babu. I f - forgot who you were!"

She suddenly left the haveli, where the receptionist was patiently waiting with an umbrella. 

Tapur's son. Her nephew.

Tapur, you had a son too, Bondita thought. 

"Have you finished looking around?" he asked. 

"B - Batuk, call him!" Bondita suddenly demanded. 

The man looked shocked to see her lack of formality, but he picked up his mobile and called him immediately, handing the phone to Bondita.

It rang twice, and Batuk answered. 

"Hello?" his old and frail voice said. 

"How did you know?" Bondita just blurted out. "Batuk, how did you know?"

"Bondita?" Batuk said, and suddenly his voice cracked as he recognized her, "Boudi?"

Tears rolled down her cheeks, and she sobbed, "Batuk Roy Choudhary, you rascal! How could you be away from me for so long?" 

"H - hey!" Batuk said, sounding offended. 

"Where are my kids?" she sobbed. "What happened to Ambika? And So - Soham?"

The caretaker was just looking at her with utter shock and confusion. 

"Soham?" Batuk questioned, "Bloody hell, what's that?" 

"My fourth kid!" 

"You had four? BLOODY HELL! Big D was so active!"

"Batuk!"  

--

Precap:

Bondita meets Anirudh after her memories return. How will it go?

--

What a chapter! It was a heavy and emotional one for me to write.

How did you find it? 

What did you think of the present-day moments of Bondita finding the truth about the past? 

What about the last moments of 1950? 

What will happen now?

What will happen when Bondita finds Anirudh? 😍

On a scale of 1-10, how excited are you for the next chapter?

If I see a fast response (in terms of stars and comments), I can update the next chapter this week itself. 

Depends on your excitement levels!

Love you all. 💗