I felt twice as ill as I did the day before. I woke in a shallow pool of my blood and moaned in pain. My chest felt empty.

I looked over to the left and saw part of my pillow and sheet covered with blood and sakura petals. It was disgusting.

I sat up and blood dripped from my face. It seemed my hanahaki was getting worse gradually. Eventually, it'll take my life if Kaede doesn't love me back. Who will look after my sisters if I die?

I really didn't want to go to school, but I felt compelled to. So I stood up from my bed, blood dripping down my chin and petals falling to the floor. I hadn't coughed at all since I woke up, I must've been asleep when hacking out the petals for there to be this much blood.

I looked in the mirror. The Rantaro Amami that looked back at me was the most grotesque version of him I'd ever seen. His hair more askew than his normal bedhead, his white shirt now dyed pink, along with his teeth, and his eyes somehow looking bigger and smaller at the same time.

God-awful, I thought.

...

I struggled to put on my uniform and head to school, but I did it. I made sure to freshen up so nobody would see my state. I didn't want anyone to know I had hanahaki.

Most of the day felt normal, as if it was an ordinary school day and I was an ordinary kid that didn't have a life-threatening disease because my friend didn't love me like how I loved her.

Until I got to my final class.

Kaede of course was in several of my classes. But I shut her out of my mind for the majority of them that day so I wouldn't spew, and it somehow worked.

Until the final class of the day.

I slowly stretched out of my desk and trudged out the door, but as soon as I left the room, I was face-to-face with Kaede. She had a smile on her face, a smile that lit up the hallway that made my heart swell and my throat ache.

Dammit, not now, I fretted internally.

"Hi, Rantaro," she said to me as if nothing was wrong.

"Hello, Kaede," I greeted with the same mannerism. Kaede was the last person I wanted to figure out I had hanahaki.

"Shuichi's not in my last class, wanna walk there with me?" she asked me.

I immediately began to think of every possible scenario where this could go wrong. I could say no and hurt her feelings, I could cough out flowers, I could cough out flowers and tell Kaede it was because she…

"Rantaro?" Kaede said, cutting off my train of thought.

"Oh, sorry," I said. "Of course, I'd be delighted to." I smiled at her, confident there were no petals in my teeth.

"Thank you," she said, "you're a good friend." And she smiled again.

I wanted to clutch my chest in pain. Every smile, every compliment, every time she said my name, I felt my heart tremble.

And I felt the petals rising, beckoning to spill from my lips and to the floor into a stream of blood onto the floor.

But I didn't. I swallowed hard and forced them back down. Not now, not today, I told myself.

We turned and headed towards the final class of the day, together. Kaede probably thought nothing of it, just considered this two friends heading to class, but I saw it as more than that. Much more.

"Hey, Rantaro," Kaede began, looking up at me, "mind if I put my hand on you? I-I don't want to make you uncomfortable, or feel like I shouldn't--"

"Go right ahead," I said, cutting her off. Of course, Kaede still probably didn't consider that anything affectionately intimate, with her being with Shuichi, and me just being her friend. But boy, I loved it. Any physical interaction with Kaede Akamatsu was bliss to me.

"O-oh! Thank you," she said, a faint blush crossing her face. Probably just surprise of my acceptance.

She just barely touched my back, at first. I felt her hand slowly wander up until it settled on my shoulder blade.

I shivered at her touch. Her fingertips were so soft. It felt like an ecstasy. I didn't want much from her at all, just love. Not even too intense. Simple touches like her putting her hand on my back was enough for me, whether we were together or not.

I refused to succumb to the urge to sigh in pleasure at her gentle touch. She'd probably think I was weird.

Then I felt it.

Suddenly the pleasure morphed into pain. I felt the petals rising up again, and I knew they would be much harder to fight this time.

I gagged hard. And loud.

To the point where Kaede stopped walking. "Rantaro? Are you okay?" she asked me.

"Yeah...just...gimme a sec," I said breathily. I wanted to sink to my knees, but once again held back.

I put my hands over my mouth to keep the petals from falling.

"Are you sure you're okay?" Kaede worried. 'I'll take you to the nurse, if you need me to."

"I'll be fine, Kaede," I reassured her.

She sighed. "Okay, if you say so." She took her hand off my back.

Probably for the better of me.

Not too much later, we arrived to our last class and took our seats. I noticed Maki and Kaito standing near the door conversing.

Kaede sat next to me--of fucking course, that's just perfect for me--so I did my best to ignore her.

The teacher walked in after a bit and immediately stopped when she caught a glimpse of Maki.

"Harukawa-san," she said to her.

"Hmm?" Maki replied. She didn't turn to look at the teacher. Rather...impolite.

"Look at me please," the teacher said. She seemed to agree with me, without knowing it. Of course, Maki turned to face her. She never disobeyed and adult. She may have been marginally rude at times, but was rather well-behaved most of the time, in my eyes.

Unless, of course, she was with Kokichi.

Kaito seemed confused when Maki turned to face the teacher. I wasn't sure why.

"Please go to the nurse's office," the teacher requested of Maki.

Both Maki and me were confused. But Maki complied and left.

The moment she left, Kokichi started laughing.

"Uh...Kokichi?" I asked him, wiping my mouth. "Why are you laughing?"

"Flu paper," was his response.

I never understood what he meant by that.

...

"Wanna come to my house?" I asked Kaede. Probably wasn't the best idea, honestly. But I needed her in any way I could have her. And a platonic hangout was enough.

Even if it could kill me.

"Sure, why not?" Kaede replied. "I'd love to."

I felt myself smile at her again, and she smiled back.

Then together we walked to my house. The walk was short, I didn't live too far from the school, which was relieving. Less agony during my walk to it in the morning.

We arrived at my house and tossed our backpacks to the wood floor. I went over to the couch and sat down, and Kaede sat next to me.

"Where are your sisters? Kaede asked me.

"Still out," I answered. "They're all in after-school clubs and whatnot."

"I see," Kaede responded.

"Wanna watch a movie?" I asked her after a bit of awkward silence.

"I'd love to," she answered with a smile.

That seemed to be her response to everything I asked her. Probably nothing special. If it was, I wouldn't be goddamn cursed with hanahaki.

After scrolling through some DVDs I had collected over the years, we settled on one and I put it in the player. We sat comfortably and watched it.

Kaede then slipped her hand around my shoulder. After earlier today, she seemed more comfortable with that sort of thing. It didn't feel as delightful as the first time because she didn't touch me quite as much before settling on a place, but it still felt incredibly pleasant.

Kaede rubbed the back of her neck with her free hand. "Ugh, my neck is so stiff," she complained.

"You can rest your head on me if you want," I said.

"Really?" she asked, surprised.

"Of course," I replied.

"Thank you," she said, and she lowered her head into my shoulder. I turned my head to look at her. Her beautiful blond hair draped down my shoulder and chest, a smile on her face, her deep purple eyes watching the movie.

She was gorgeous.

Then I felt it again.

And I knew I wouldn't be able to hold it in this time.

"Excuse me a minute," I said quickly, sliding off the couch and heading towards the bathroom with urgency.

I felt Kaede fall off my shoulder. I wanted to apologize to her, but I didn't have the time.

I ran into the bathroom and locked the door. I sunk to the floor and hugged the toilet bowl, and immediately the bloodstream and petals fell from the back of my throat and out of my mouth, sticking to my lips.

A river of pink oozing off my tongue until I was lightheaded.

Then I heard a knock at the door. "Rantaro?" Kaede called from the other side. "What's going on?"

"I…" I coughed. "I really don't want to talk about it. You may judge me. I'm sorry."

"You can come to me about anything," Kaede said. "I won't think any less of you."

I flushed the toilet, watching the blood and sakuras swirl away. "Gimme a minute, I'll be out soon," I said, wiping my mouth.

"Okay…" Kaede said slowly. She seemed kinda disappointed, since I wouldn't tell her what was wrong.

I wiped my lips and stood up. I unlocked the door to the bathroom and looked Kaede in the eyes.

"You seem in pain, let me comfort you," she said. She took my wrist and took me to my couch. She sat down and put my head on her lap, stroking my hair.

I felt like a cat.

And Kaede seemed to realize the awkwardness.

She pulled me up, took one of my arms, put it around her shoulder, and held me close. "I'll make sure you don't suffer," she said.

Her embrace was gentle, sweet, and very kind. The affection and joy finally outweighed the pain in my lungs and throat.

God, I love her.