san wooyoung

since the incident, san had taken to staying back at his house instead of wooyoung's dorm room for obvious reasons, and the boy had almost gone out of his way to leave little reminders of himself everywhere.

he hadn't cleared out most of his stuff, so wooyoung would often come face to face with one of san's hoodies and the occasional body product left behind, both holding the aromas of san and countless memories.

whether or not the male had done this intentionally, as if to say never forget who you let go of, the memoirs always stung wooyoung's heart to come across.

however, these occurrences where lessening, as there were only so many things a teenage boy could've left behind in a small room.

wooyoung selfishly never wanted to stop finding them, no matter how much they may serve as a hurtful reminder of the boy he was in love with. at least the memoirs proved that the two of them had been real, the only evidence that san had been his for a time before he inevitably screwed it up.

on top of that, every time there was a knock on the old, poorly painted door, wooyoung couldn't help but get his hopes up, rushing to answer in a heartbeat based on the wishful thinking it may be san.

it never was.

but this time was no exception, and the moment a quiet knock sounded once and then twice on his locked door, wooyoung was snuffing out a smoked down cigarette in his full ashtray, rubbing his face to wake himself up and raking a hand through his darkening hair.

on his feet in an instant, the male clicked open the lock and swung the door open while holding his breath.

but the boy waiting on the other side was not the face he loved. instead, the doorway revealed an awkwardly positioned choi jongho, apologetically pressing his lips together as if he knew that wooyoung was expecting someone else.

he stepped aside to let the newcomer in, face falling the moment the wrong choi had been revealed.

"i'm not here to talk," jongho explained simply, inconspicuously attempting to remain expressionless. "just to pick up some of my brother's things."

wooyoung leaned against the doorway, crossing his arms lazily as he cocked an eyebrow. "why doesn't he do it himself?" he knew why, but he had to pretend to be insensitive so his feelings wouldn't get the best of him.

"he's busy." jongho deadpanned, bending over to scoop up a hoodie of san's wooyoung had thrown to the ground not too long ago in frustration after holding it to his face gently like a child.

"yeah? doing what?" wooyoung continued, feigning an uninterested tone.

"packing up his stuff at the house." jongho said unhesitatingly, not meeting wooyoung's eyes.

"...why." wooyoung said, not making it sound like a question. his heartbeat was quickening in apprehension, and he unconsciously began leaning off the wall to stand straighter.

"he's moving to daegu. there's a good university there offering a scholarship for a course he's dreamed of taking, and-" jongho stopped, scolding himself under his breath. "i don't know why i'm telling you this, it's none of your business anymore."

"none of my business?" wooyoung laughed cruelly, eyes pricking with tears with all the information he just received. he's moving? he's moving he's moving he's moving-

in that moment, some may have called wooyoung insane, the way his pupils dilated and his hands shook while he had trouble controlling his breathing. and they may have been right, because what's the difference between insanity and love, really?

"none of my business?" wooyoung repeated, raising a shaky finger towards jongho's wary face.

"watch it, jung." the other boy warned unsurely. "i might punch you again." he said, only half joking.

wooyoung wasn't listening to that, though. all he could think of was how no matter what, he couldn't loose san just like that, despite all his efforts not to burden him, he'd survived by seeing him, knowing he was okay, so if he was gone- if he left-

"it's all of my business!" wooyoung got out helplessly, shaking his head to get rid of angry tears. "it's my business, because i love him!"

as soon as the words left his mouth, jongho froze, ceasing his packing, and wooyoung's shoulders sagged as he exhaled deeply, closing his eyes for a moment. "i can't lose him." he added in a small voice, the feeble words dripping with vulnerability.

jongho took a moment to come to his senses, but resumed his work with one calculating glance at the broken male beside him before ignoring him again. "you should have told him that."

wooyoung's eyes darted decisively around the room like an adhd druggy on red bull, a plan forming inside his head as he paced in an imaginary circle.

"i will." he decided, wringing his hands and feeling himself getting jumpy at the idea. "i will." he repeated more loudly, poking his tongue in the inside of his cheek.

jongho stood up, attempting to get out words of discouragement and denial, but wooyoung was on a roll, showing no signs of stopping.

"where is he right now?" he asked jongho desperately, eyes big and expectant.

"he should be on his way to the train station by now-" jongho answered hesitantly, (lying about the timeframe) stepping once forward while wooyoung ran around his room to pick up a jacket and his keys. "wooyoung, you'll never catch him in time-"

"have a little faith!" wooyoung exclaimed, already out the door.

"where're you-" jongho began, slow to catch up with his former friend's insane plan.

"i'm doing what you told me to!" wooyoung answered, poking his head round the door while shrugging his jacket on. "i'm going to tell your brother that i'm so fucking in love with him."

•••

wooyoung san

san managed to let out a sigh, resting his head against the glass of the car's glazed window as he watched his breath fog up the clear surface.

at last, he had finished packing away what little belongings he owned, not wanting to take too much with him. this was his chance at starting anew, so he didn't need too many relics.

san's luggage consisted mostly of the bare essentials, the only item of personality being his one and only shiber, who he wasn't quite ready to leave behind just yet.

the only things he was missing were those which he left behind in wooyoung's dorm room, which he felt bad to leave but even worse to go there and have to tell wooyoung the news himself, so instead he sent jongho.

his stepbrother would meet him at the station, they'd say their brief goodbyes, and then, freedom.

san would leave it all behind. he hadn't said much to any of his friends, knowing how easily persuaded he could be, he didn't want any possibility of one of them talking him into staying.

confident in his decision, san knew this was what he needed. and he didn't view it entirely as running away from his problems- it's not like he was going to pass up this scholarship. despite having more than enough money and therefore little need for special treatment, he wanted to do something on his own for once that wasn't paid for by his parents.

he'd pay his own rent, too, and san had it firmly in mind that he would never stoop low enough to ask his mom for money. he didn't want the reputation of being the spoiled gay nerd at his new school like he had at his old, and he was determined to use this opportunity to its fullest.

it was almost like he was not only leaving everything behind, but also erasing any part of it from what he wanted his new life to be. maybe that was ignorance getting the best of him, but san was so done with letting everything that happened to him before the age of eighteen haunt him.

his plan was simple. rebirth after eighteen, where nothing before that time mattered. he could forget about all of it. including wooyoung.

san lowered his eyes to his lap, kicking his feet childishly in frustration at the stupidity of his plan. it wasn't all bad, the buried part of him reminded, but he ignored the nagging feeling and buried it deeper.

of course he couldn't get rid of everything, for example, yeosang was coming with him, ready to pursue the plan the two best friends had created years and years ago: move to daegu after college (in this case, not quite after, but still) and go on to study and eventually work together.

now was not the time for doubts. he could doubt all he wanted once he was settled in his apartment in daegu, but for now, it was too soon for him to back out of this decision.

"sir, we've arrived." the chauffeur, mr. kim, announced, parking neatly within two white lines.

san glanced around, confused as to why he couldn't see a station immediately. he wasn't sure what to expect, given his lack of travelling experience, but this wasn't it.

"you'll have to walk from here." the man explained apologetically. "it's not long, but this is as close as we can park."

san nodded, stepping out of the enclosure of the car, stretching his legs gratefully and enjoying a cool breeze. his dark hair blew back cinematically, his eyes sparkling with either anticipation or moisture due to the wind, but either way, san looked effortlessly good to anyone passing by who didn't look close enough and failed to notice the dark bags beneath those glittering eyes.

"let me get your bags, sir." mr kim offered, and san didn't bother objecting for once. he might as well enjoy it one last time.

the two walked in silence, composed and obedient mr. kim in front, followed by a thoughtful san with his head lowered and eyes glued to the pavement.

if he lifted his head, or wasn't so deep in his own thoughts, san may have heard the rev of a motorcycle in the near distance, or seen its rider appear atop the familiar shining metal like a prince atop his noble steed, but he kept it down, oblivious.

it was probably a good thing the rider didn't notice him either, because he may have crashed on the spot. life just plays out like that sometimes, for better or worse.

the nearer he got to the entrance of the station, san's doubts increased, invisible chains latching themselves onto he feet as he went, dragging him down and making every step harder to take. he felt so heavy, the weight of everything he hadn't said, of what he was leaving behind, clawing at his ankles animalistically and begging him to wait.

he ignored it all, numbing himself entirely.

turning off his emotions was effective enough up to the point where he was inside the station, alone with his bags having being left to fend for himself by mr. kim. checking his watch, san found his train was due to leave in fifteen minutes.

he pulled out his phone, face pulled into one of doubtful confusion, wondering why his stepbrother wasn't here yet.

san was about to type out a text, when his attention was drawn to a commotion going on somewhere a little behind him.

"sir, you need to calm down." an authoritative voice pleaded, followed by a desperate voice san recognised instantly.

as soon as san looked up, his switch flipped back so forcefully it broke, all his emotions blooming within his chest and filling up his entire being. he felt everything, all at once, his knees going weak right on the spot.

"i need to get through!" jung wooyoung's voice flowed into san's awareness, causing his air to catch in his throat, his heart thumping against his chest and tumbling over itself.

"not without tickets. we're sorry, sir."

san's feet began to move on their own, etching closer. "w-wooyoung?" he managed, too shocked to say anything more.

the boy snapped his head up at the sound of his name on san's lips, and he broke out into a huge grin that lit up his entire face, relaxing in the security guard's firm hold.

san's heart softened, and he felt tears forming in the corners of his eyes. he had no idea whether they sprung from joy or surprise or what- but for some reason wooyoung's appearance was shaking him to his core and bringing back feelings fresh as if they flowered yesterday.

the security guards looked back and forth between them, sighing defeatedly in unison and releasing the lilac haired boy from their hold.

"five minutes." one's gruff voice told them, looking for confirmation from his partner, who shrugged. "don't try anything, we'll be watching."

-

one more chapter <3

xxx