wooyoung san

with quivering hands, he picked up his phone to see who was causing its annoying ringing.

the room was dark, hyunjin sound asleep next to him after returning having cooled down and giving him a hug and mumbling words of comfort that sent san into another round of unappreciated emotions.

unsurprisingly he had been unable to sleep, and sat cross legged on the bed next to hyunjin's curled body, the other's back pressed warmly against his knee.

he allowed a few pointless tears to trickle down his cheeks silently, but was shocked out of his moping when his phone vibrated and sang against his thigh.

upon seeing it was his mother, he sniffed feebly and wiped his eyes so he could answer calmly while pretending everything was okay.

"h-hi mom!" he cleared his throat, wincing at the high pitch of his voice.

"honey, i'm calling because your dad's getting impatient." her tired distorted voice came from the other side of the line. "you can't keep postponing this dinner."

fuck, the dinner. he had forgotten in the midst of everything. "yeah, sorry mom, but-"

"no buts, sannie." she sighed, obviously frustrated with him which ignited more guilt and burnt away his slight impatience with her. he couldn't imagine what she must have gone through with his stepfather trying to get him to accept the way he was.

"you agreed to this, so there's no going back. your dad cares about you despite what you think, and i think if he sees with your boyfriend he might realise it's no different from if you were to being home a girlfriend." his mother continued optimistically.

funny how she thought jongun would accept him that easily. maybe she really did get through to him, after all.  "alright, mom. i won't reschedule. tomorrow, then?"

"thanks, honey. i'll tell your dad. we'll get the chefs to prepare something special." his mother replied, and san could almost feel her relief at not having to tell jongun that her son had yet again postponed the dinner he reluctantly agreed to yet expectedly anticipated.

"sounds... great, mom." a smile briefly appeared on his lips that she couldn't see but hopefully sensed through his words. "goodnight."

he set the phone down slowly, staring at its blank screen for a few moments with wide eyes, wondering what possessed him to agree.

san really dug himself into a deep hole this time. what was he going to tell wooyoung?

hey, i know we're sort of off right now and you, like, assaulted me, but come to dinner as my perfect boyfriend?

no, that was not going to happen. but one way or another, he had to get the other to come to dinner with him tomorrow and meet his parents. not to mention appear as the picture perfect boyfriend to set the standard and represent gay guys everywhere.

sounded a little extravagant, but this was literally a test for his ultimately homophobic stepfather to finally see there was nothing wrong with him, or anyone else attracted to members of the same sex.

and so he would do it. somehow, he would get wooyoung to agree to pretending to be an amazingly happy couple tomorrow. they would paste smiles on their faces, hold hands and act totally fine.

they would do that if it meant san could stop feeling like a criminal in his own household.

however selfish he felt to put aside wooyoung's feelings in this, san felt sure the other would agree to it if it pleased him.

and that's how he found himself outside the dorm-room 4419, such a familiar feeling to have his hand poised in front of the peeling paint revealing old wood, his heart beating way too fast to be normal.

before san could change his mind, he knocked twice, softly.

no answer came from inside the room, so he pulled out his own make of the key from the depths of his pocket, fitting it into the keyhole and turning it swiftly.

having let himself in, he took a determined step in, about to say something, but stopped when he saw wooyoung.

the boy has been asleep in the bed they recently shared, on top of the covers and breathing rhythmically, his pale purple locks splayed across his forehead, an arm over his face.

having heard san's none too quiet footsteps, he awoke abruptly, the innocent expression san had caught briefly wiped off his now awake face as he shot up in the bed.

"san?" he questioned groggily, rubbing his eyes. "what... are you doing here? it's like, 1am..."

"it is?" san doubled back in surprise. "well, that's not the point. i have something to ask you." he dismissed wooyoung with a twirl of his hand.

"something to ask me? in the middle of the night? couldn't this wait?" wooyoung but his lip and looked down, his words extremely careful as if the next one he spoke may set san off like a bomb.

"n-no..." san answered, suddenly realising what an idiot move he pulled. "can we just... put aside everything else for a moment?"

the other took a cautious step towards him, tired eyes slowly waking up. "i'm listening."

"well..." san began, "my parents are expecting us to come to dinner. tomorrow."

"tomorrow? san, couldn't you-" wooyoung tried, seeming to have been expecting something else from san.

"no. i agreed like the idiot i am. but please just... come with me?" san pleaded, more desperately than before.

"you're not an idiot." the shorter murmured softly before adding loudlier, "i'm not sure..."

"i didn't tell you before," san added, playing with his hands nervously. "my stepdad is rather homophobic. and he finally agreed to meeting a boyfriend of mine..." he trailed off.

"oh." wooyoung let out shortly. "wait, have you had other boyfriends before?"

"no! uh, no." san shot in answer before adding in a grumble, "you're the first. were the first."

"i'm the first." wooyoung repeated with a giddy smile, and san blushed softly and cleared his throat.

"anyway. can you... pretend to be my boyfriend?" he looked away sheepishly, the other's eyebrows furrowing in confusion.

"wait, were? pretend? but we are.. oh." wooyoung couldn't help his features crumbling. "now look who's not good at communication."

san shrugged stiffly. "i thought you knew." he said softly, quoting something wooyoung had once said to him. "it was implied."

"you only said you needed time. i'm prepared to give you all the time you need-"

"just come with me tomorrow." san chewed his lip anxiously. "i'm sorry."

"it's my fault." wooyoung smiled bitterly. "don't apologise. anyway, i also need to tell you something-"

"no, don't tell me anything." san interrupted. "it can wait until after tomorrow."

"no, san, i should really-" the other tried again, reaching a hand out to him which he withdrew from instinctively.

"just don't." san shook his head insistently. "please just help me tomorrow by acting like we're the happiest couple in the world."

wooyoung cast his eyes down, a strange look on his face. "okay." he said quietly. "it's just another act to pull off."

san nodded, stepping away and deciding he had probably spent too long here already. "i should go."

"stay." wooyoung looked up at him, the word soft but loud as trumpets to san's ears.

"i can't." he shut his eyes for a while and took a shaky breath. "goodnight."

with that, he exited the room hastily, shutting the door carefully and immediately sinking down, his back sliding down the door coolly.

and maybe the boy on the other side of the door did the same, nothing but a frail slab of wood separating their clueless bodies, both silently wishing the other would open the door.

but maybe he turned away and went back to bed, falling asleep easily and not thinking too deeply about him.

san could never know. he just kind of hoped it was the latter, because that way things could be so much easier.

san wooyoung

as soon as san left him alone in the dark, wooyoung was on the floor, hopelessly crouched with his head in his hands, refraining the urge to reach for the handle and run after him.

but he took hyunjin's words carefully into consideration, and didn't open the door, giving san the space and time he needed.

jeongin's words too, surfaced in his mind, and he clenched his teeth in frustration. how long was he going to avoid coming clean?

he tried, yes, but perhaps not hard enough. besides, now might not be the best time to drop a little bomb on the already stressed older given the act he had just asked wooyoung to carry out, as if it was so easy.

of course he agreed. how couldn't he? he would shamelessly do everything and anything for san, that's how whipped he was.

•••

fast forward to the next evening after yet another droning uneventful day of san avoiding him and wooyoung was no less calm as he knocked on hyunjin's door.

having been told to dress properly, he had figured black jeans and a white dress shirt passed in that category, not to mention he had carefully styled his hair, so wooyoung hoped this passed as presentable enough for the etiquette of the choi family.

the door swung inwards, revealing first a pissed hyunjin and then san, breathtaking as ever in a silk patterned purple shirt and fitted dark jeans.

he always managed to astound wooyoung, weather he was wearing a christmas sweater or something fancy. hell, san could wear a sack and he'd look amazing.

but now was not the time to imagine how san would look in various clothes. or nothing at all. certainly not the time.

wooyoung cleared his throat, trying for a smile that ended up a guilty smirk.

"i see what you're thinking." hyunjin said dryly, crossing his arms like a parent. "take my advice, don't."

wooyoung held a hand to his his chest in fake hurt. "ouch. how quickly you've switched to a new bestie."

hyunjin made a face at him, stepping aside to allow san out into the hall. "take care of him."

san shot the boy a look, shuffling his feet. "it's not even a real date."

"i know." hyunjin confirmed, looking at wooyoung and pointing two fingers from his own eyes and then at wooyoung to say 'i'm watching you'.

"let's go then, we can take my bike." wooyoung suggested, earning a hard disappointing head shaking from san.

"no way. you know how much my parents would freak out if i showed up on the back of your motorbike? not today satan."

"then how are we getting there?" wooyoung frowned. does he think we can fly now? maybe his rich-ass parents think i'll be taking him in a helicopter. maybe i should've worn a tie...

"mom sent a chauffeur. i'll give you the run through of what to expect when we're in the car." having said that, san gave a firm nod as if to assure himself, and then set off determinedly by himself expecting wooyoung to follow.

wooyoung turned to hyunjin who was watching them from the doorway. "should i be worried?"

"very." the other deadpanned, and then shut the door in his face.

-

why are you reading this? you should be streaming a.c.e's comeback 🐳

i was listening to the dear evan hansen soundtrack while writing this it's so good

i love you ALL always

xxx