wooyoung san

a few weeks had past since wooyoung told him he was 'ready'.

but since then, the other boy hadn't asked him out. san did sort of kinda think of wooyoung as boyfriend something or the other but he had no idea what the boy in question thought of him, which was stressing him out.

all that had changed was he had started hanging out with wooyoung's group of friends instead his own. yunho still talked to him often enough, yeosang sparingly, but not felix.

it's not that felix was mad at him or anything, but the two just couldn't seem to face each other.

san had since discovered that minho and seonghwa could be decent when they weren't feeling like dickheads. he also befriended hyunjin easily, who was a lot nicer than he ever would have thought. and mingi had everyone fooled- san now knew the 'hard' jock was actually a soft scaredy cat.

they all wordlessly accepted that there was something going on with wooyoung and san, even though none of them dared address it. a silent agreement that no one was allowed to say a word against him again, or wooyoung would kill them in their sleep.

at first, san had been nervous as fuck, his nerves getting the best of him as he stumbled over every word, but when wooyoung brought him over to the group, the first thing mingi did was hand hyunjin some money.

and minho even gave a half smile. seonghwa just looked indifferent as usual, but he didn't glare or try trip san up.

another thing that san had learnt was that wooyoung was not out to his friends in any way shape or form. which he found ironic, because mingi and minho were both 'secretly' into guys, and he wondered if any of them knew that they were all hiding the same secret.

or that their constant homophobic slurs were irrelevent and perhaps even hurtful as they were technically directed at themselves. the slurs lessened, though, after hyunjin smacked minho after a particulary bad remark and told him to go suck jisung's dick.

san had laughed - and that was where their friendship had sort of started. hyunjin was not homophobic at all, and he was really welcoming to san, enough so that he smiled a little more and missed yeosang and felix a little less.

it was good. different, but good.

but, san's happiness was destined to be short-term,  apparantly.

in fact, by the time he realized he was happy enough to forget he was sad, it was too late to savour, because all it took was one phone call.

a phone call from his mother, asking him to bring his boyfriend to dinner with her and his step-father. the boyfriend he lied about to make it clear he was old enough to make his own decisions.

the conversation messed with him, because his mother sounded very calm, and told him his step-father was ready to be open minded. san was no where near ready to trust any word of this, and wouldn't be surprised if the man shipped him and wooyoung both off to conversion therapy in brunei.

that also brought the problem of telling wooyoung. the boy knew nothing of san's conservative step-father, let alone what he had done to san in the none too distant past.

and so brought them the conversation during a normal lunch break by jongho, which annoyed san because it was none of his brother's business and he really didn't want to talk about it.

hyunjin had just asked san to hang out with him at his dorm after school, he had accepted, and there had been lack of conversation because no one else was invited. san supposed this could have been offensive to the rest of the group in some way, but he didn't think much of it.

"i heard mom on the phone to you the other day." he started, raising his eyebrows.

san's eyes darting around almost fearfully, and he felt hyunjin's perseptive gaze on him. "is that so."

"it is so." jongho coughed, looking around at the group of suddenly interested faces. "you didn't tell me you had a boyfriend."

fucking idiot. little did he know, the so-called boyfriend was sitting right next to them, and didn't look too happy. "does he now." wooyoung stated, biting a chip slowly, the crunch loud in the tense atmosphere.

"i don't know what you heard, jongho, but-" he tried, but his dumb brother thoughtlessly carried on.

"no idea what she could have told dad to allow that. either of them, really." san felt a familiar panic in the pit of his stomach, one that had laid dormant while he was happy.

"shut up, jongho." he gritted his teeth, clutching his fork tightly. his step-brother was another victim of ignorance to his father's deeds. he knew the man was old fashioned, but he really had no idea.

"why? i'm making conversation. and i want to know who this boyfriend is."
san could almost swear wooyoung tensed up, like he was about to get out of his seat.

"there's no boyfriend..." san trailed off, throat tight.

"you sure?" mingi winked, and seonghwa and minho just glanced at each other cluelessly.

"what about..." jongho thought for a moment before grinning. "chae hyungwon? i saw you two talking a while back. i heard he's gay so-"

wooyoung got up and pushed his plate back antagonizingly slowly, the scrape causing most of the group to wince. "hyungwon is a dick with no respect." he said flatly, daring anyone to challenge him.

"not all that different from you." jongho laughed.

san set his fork down. clenching his trembling fist. "very different, actually. would wooyoung take advantage of someone helpless after deliberately getting them drunk? would wooyoung make someone vulnerable feel like utter shit and not listen as they pleaded 'no'? i don't fucking think so."

the table went a little quiet, and san was aware of wooyoung gazing at him with soft features, and even a comforting hand on his thigh. seonghwa whistled and rolled his shoulders, taking a large bite of his food and looking away.

"well shit." hyunjin said quietly. not even minho said anything. jongho looked confused, then angry, and then he stood up and left, rolling up his sleeves as he went, all humour gone from his face.

"thanks." wooyoung murmured. "you didn't have to."

"every one seems to have this negative idea of you. i just wanted to change their minds a little." san grumbled, slouching down. "besides, they're all wrong about you." he added.

"are they?" wooyoung raised an amused eyebrow, propping his chin up on one fist. conversation proceeded around them, and suddenly it was only the two of them talking softly in a busy area of oblivious people.

"yes." san pouted. "you're sweet. and jealous. and you care, even though you don't like to show it."

wooyoung smiled a little, and gave his thigh a small squeeze of acknowledgement and tender unsaid feeling. this somehow made san sad, because wooyoung was unable to show his true feelings around people who would probably accept him any way.

"um, i need to ask you something." san began, his teeth digging into his upper lip. "i know we aren't- i mean i know you don't- ugh- would you maybe possibly like to consider having dinner with my parents some time?"

"as your boyfriend?" wow, straight to the point. warmth flooded san's cheeks.

"well- not if you don't want to. we can just pretend-" he stuttered, having to lean a little closer as they were speaking quietly.

"why would i want to pretend to be your boyfriend?" san's heart stopped.

"remember i like you, idiot. we don't have to pretend." he laughed. "aren't you sort of my boyfriend already?"

"b-but you never asked me! i didn't know you were my boyfriend!"

this sent wooyoung into another bout of laughter, the honeyed sound coating san's ears as his heart clenched. "i had to ask?"

"yes! what the fuck, jung? this is a big deal! i'm mad at you now!" san tried to look mad.

"i didn't realize it was a big deal! i thought i made it clear enough that day at the café!" he laughed, eyes glittering with warmth.

"what's so funny, guys?" mingi questioned, causing them both to look up in surprise, having forgotten there were others in the room.

"n-nothing!" they replied in unision, and hyunjin gave san a knowing look.

for the rest of the day, san was quiet, happy that wooyoung accepted him, but still unsure of how to prepare him for his step-father.

hyunjin noticed his silent discomfort, and when the last bell went, signaling the end of the day, the boy approached him wordlessly and walking with him to his own dorm room.

san gave a heavy sigh, collapsing onto hyunjin's comfortable bed willingly.
he buried his face in the pillow, listening as the other closed his door softly and sat gently on the edge of the bed like a parent might.

"wanna talk about it?" he questioned softly, his body language suggesting patience.

"it's like this." san began suddenly, raising his head as the whole story came tumbling out of him at once.

"i like this guy. i like him quite a lot, and he likes me too, i'm pretty sure. things have been good, but this guy, though no longer in denial of his sexuality, is afraid to come out. this guy has the idea that his friends won't accept him. people will judge him. it's really such a shame some one would have to go to such great measures to hide some thing as simple as who they are, just because they're afraid of society's reaction." san sighed again, noticing the almost sad look on hyunjin's face as he agreed.

"but i'm not even sure if that's all," san continued. "does this guy not want to be out, or does he not want people to know he's with me? am i embarrassing or some thing? this guy is hard to understand."

"you can just say his name." hyunjin replied softly, drawing a friendly arm around san's shoulders.

"i know it's wooyoung. and i don't think the problem here is you. i've seen the way that guy looks at you,  when he thinks no one is watching. and i also know that wooyoung is incredibly concious of what others think of him, and he's insecure as fuck." i guess we really don't know each other that well.

san leaned his head on hyunjin's shoulder, playing with his own fingers absent-mindedly. "well, my step-dad's not too happy with my... circumstances."

"he-" san started to cry when he told hyunjin. he didn't even know that the events were that impactful and scarring to him until he talked about them.

"oh, san." was all hyunjin said, very sadly as he allowed him to cry silently on his shoulder. "you don't deserve that."

after he calmed down a little, he gave a small sniff and wiped his eyes quickly. "my mom said he's agreed to meet my so-called boyfriend, who i lied about at the time. now he's actually real, and i don't know how to tell him any of this."

"you're afraid of what your step-dad might do to him. to both of you. that's understandable, san. but trust your mom. she wouldn't execute words that resulted in pain on her own son." hyunjin concluded, blowing his black bangs from his eyes.

wouldn't she? "i guess so." san replied, still unsure.

"you don't even have to tell wooyoung everything if you aren't comfortable with that. give it time." san nodded, and the tears came again, gliding down his face and wetting his shirt.

"it's okay." hyunjin shushed him, cradling him in a hug. "it's gonna be okay."

as they hugged, san cried for a lot of reasons. one of them was that he had forgotten how good it felt to have a friend who was there for him.

-

yo yo, homie joe.

it's the easter holiday, so expect frequent updates from me!

i love you ALL and thank you so much for the constant love and support. ❤

i laughed way harder than i should have but IT'S TRUE SJSKDKSJS

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