I'M. NOT. READY.

"Herc, this feels really weird," John said for the eleventh time. Hercules sighed and looked up at his anxiety ridden friend.

"How often do you wear suits again? Oh, yeah! Never," the tailor pointed out. "Anytime you wear something, especially formal wear, not very often, it's going to be uncomfortable." John rolled his eyes.

"Stop lecturing me and pick out a damn tie," John said, not wanting to admit his friend was right. Herc chuckled at his friend's irritability and returned to the closet.

"What's Alexander's favorite color?" Hercules asked, looking through all of his ties. John thought for a second.

"I think it's green right now," John said. Alex changed it often, but John was pretty confident in this at the moment. He looked at his friend shuffling through the color-coded ties. "Why do you own so many of those?" Hercules shrugged.

"You can't say you're surprised that I, of all of out friends, have a tie collection," Herc responded. "You should just consider yourself lucky that I'm letting you borrow one." John thought about the response for a short second, and decided to just go with it, nodding his head at both of Hercules's statements.

"That dark green one is nice," John pointed out, changing the subject. Hercules took a glance at the forest green tie, looked away, then did a double take.

"Good eye, Laurens," Hercules said to his friend. "I wouldn't have even noticed it."

Now having his tie, John's outfit was decidedly complete. Now was Lafayette and Peggy's turn.

"Who's ready to get his hair done?" Peggy yelled, walking into the apartment. Hercules harshly shushed her, reminding her there were other residents in the building. She rolled her eyes, but noticeably quieted down. Peggy could be loud and rebellious, but she was also respectful when she wanted to be.

"Where's Lafayette?" John asked, pointing out the absence of the Frenchman.

"Getting stuff from the car," she answered, looking out the door. She paused for a second, then looked back at John. "I'm being super passive-aggressive and not talking to him like I'm still mad about the betting, but I'm not actually mad. It's just funny to see him so damn apologetic. So, I'm not actually mad, but that's why I'm acting like I am," she explained, chuckling a little. John rolled his eyes at her immaturity, but laughed along with her.

"Mon ami, you are going to look fabuleux," Laf said as he walked into the room. John laughed again and prepared himself for whatever he was about to go through in the next twenty minutes.

The time went by fast thanks to John's separate conversations with both Peggy and Laf, considering she wouldn't talk to him, and he was too scared to talk to her. John had to agree with Peggy, it was amusing to see Lafayette so intimidated and remorseful. Strange, definitely, but also amusing.

By the time John had to leave to pick his boyfriend up, his hair was slicked back, with more product in it than he ever had. He grabbed the box out from his glove compartment and put it inside one of the pockets of his suit jacket. He sat in his car for a couple minutes, knowing he had a few minutes to spare before he picked Alex up. The silence hung in the air uncomfortably, and John found himself cranking up the volume of radio as he pulled out of his parking spot.

Singing along to the radio helped calm John's nerves some, and before he knew it he was making the turn onto his street. The car stopped right in front of the house and instead of going in to meet Alex, John simply honked the car horn. Sure enough, Alex came out rolling his eyes at his boyfriend.

"Way to win over the neighbors," Alex teased as he opened the car door. "I'm sure they just love hearing a loud car horn while they're trying to eat supper." John laughed a little and shrugged.

"But it was easier for me, so they can deal with it," John responded as his boyfriend buckled his seatbelt and closed the car door. Alex cocked an eyebrow.

"So you can run laps without getting tired, but when it comes to a short walk to the front door you can't handle it?" Alexander asked. John thought for a second.

"Touche," he responded, smiling. The two sat in the car and talked as John drove to the restaurant. As soon as the car turned into the parking lot, Alex freaked.

"Shut up," Alex said, dumbfounded. "Shut the hell up! We cannot be seriously going here! It costs like three paychecks to get a reservation and the food is even more!" John chuckled, proud of himself for having the self-restraint to save up for this. The sign in front of them read Cibo dei Padri Fondatori. The restaurant was authentic Italian, and John and Alex would always talk about what they thought it would be like, since it was near impossible to get in.

John, without responding to his boyfriend's shocked remarks, got out of the car and walked around to the other side of the car. "What're we waiting for?" John asked, opening the door. Alex sat in disbelief for a couple more seconds then, slowly, got out of the car.

"I can't fucking believe we're going here," Alex muttered under his breath. John laughed.

"Just a tip, most people don't use extreme profanities in restaurants like this," John whispered to Alex. The shorter man just rolled his eyes playfully as they walked in. The lady at the front desk smiled warmly at the two as they walked in.

"Hello! Do you two have a reservation?" she asked cheerfully. John nodded.

"Yes. It should be under the name 'John Laurens'," he responded. She looked through the list and found John's name. Her expression seemed to, somehow, noticeably brighten. John was pretty sure he knew why.

"Here you are," she said, pointing at a spot on the list that nether of the other two could see. "Follow me." The two men did as instructed and followed her to a table in a corner.

"Thank you," John said, smiling to her as they sat.

"No problem. A waiter will be with you shortly," she told them happily. Alex looked at his boyfriend straight on, still stunned by the whole situation.

"It's so nice in here," Alex said finally. John had to think about what Alex said, and then started laughing hysterically.

"Gotta admit, I was worried you'd be mad that there isn't actually a dragon in here," John joked. That was one thing Alex always mentioned he expected inside the restaurant. Alex gave an exaggerated sigh, grinning.

"I guess I'll survive," Alex said. The two looked at the menus on the table. "What're you getting?" Alex asked.

"I don't know, you?" John responded. Alex sighed.

"I don't know either. I've been really good on my diet lately, so I'm trying to think of that," Alex said. John rolled his eyes a little.

"We are at one of the nicest restaurants in the town, I think you can go off your diet," John said. Alex thought for a second, looked at the menu, and sighed again.

"I guess you're right," Alex said, giving in. "I want to try gnocchi," he stated after looking for a short bit more. John glanced down and decided to go with the first thing he saw.

"I'm getting the tortilla," John stated confidently. What he said hit him and he looked at the menu once again. "I swear to God, I meant tortellini, I din't know what the hell that was," John assured Alex, who, on the other hand, was about to start crying with laughter.

"I dunno," Alex said between laughs. "The tortilla sounds pretty damn good." John rolled his eyes playfully and gently kicked his boyfriend underneath the table. Alexander responded by kicking John very not-gently back.

"Remember when we first went to Olive Garden, and it wasn't even a date?" John asked. Alex laughed.

"God, I was awkward. I couldn't believe you even said yes," Alex said. John raised his eyebrows.

"You were nervous? It took everything in me to try and act calm," John said.

"Well at least you were able to act calm!" Alex exclaimed, grinning. John thought about it for a second and shrugged, as though accepting the statement. Before Alex could gloat about being right, though, the waitress came over to take their orders.

"You're fidgeting an awful lot, babe," Alex pointed out when the waitress walked away to get their drinks. John internally slapped himself and shrugged.

"I feel really hyper right now," John lied. "Probably not the best thing to feel in a fancy restaurant." Alex laughed a little bit.

"Normally I'm the one who's fidgeting around like a child," Alex pointed out. John thought back to various situations where Alex had been none short of a six-year-old.

"I guess you are," John said as the waitress set down the drinks on the table. He gave her a quick thank you before turning back to Alexander. The shorter man had a suspicious look on his face.

"What're you planning?" Alex asked. John furrowed his brows at the question, causing Alex to scoff. "Normally you don't even think to thank waitresses, but if you're thinking over a lot of different things then you remember to do so." Alexander said, as though it was the most obvious thing in the world. John squinted his eyes at Alex, puzzled.

"How on earth have you taken note of me not thanking waitresses?" he asked. Alex raised an eyebrow.

"I mean, it's not like you constantly mention how bad you feel about not thanking the people who wait on you at restaurants," Alex said sarcastically. John blushed at the comment. He, in all honesty, hadn't realized he talked about it often.

"Fair enough," was all John could get himself to mumble out. Alex was already giggling and teasing John for his embarrassment, and John didn't mind one bit. God, he loved this man.

Eventually their food came out and the two ate in relative silence, occasionally looking up at each with mouths full of food and laughing. It wasn't until about halfway through their meals that one of them actually said something.

"So," Alex started, with food still in his mouth. "What the hell is tortellini?" John looked down at his plate, trying to think of how to describe it. Truthfully, he hadn't even known what it was before that night.

"It's like, pasta, but it's in rings," John said. Alex snorted.

"Really? I couldn't tell," the shorter man joked. John rolled his eyes, grinning.

"You didn't let me finish. It has meat and cheese and stuff in it, too," John elaborated. Alexander nodded his head i  understanding, still mildly chuckling. "Are we gonna get dessert?" John asked. Alex thought for a second, but right as he was about to open his mouth John cut him off. "If you say one thing about your diet, so help me Alexander Hamilton." Alex closed his mouth and sighed.

"Well, we might as well, then," Alex finally answered, corners of his mouth twitching as he tried to pretend to act disappointed.

Turns out, you can't be disappointed while eating tiramisu.

"How is this so good?" John asked to nobody in particular.

"I don't know," Alex answered, not even looking up. John laughed.

"It was rhetorical, dork," John said. Alex rolled his eyes playfully.

"Do you think I care?" Alex asked, smile tugging on the corners of his mouth. John shrugged.

"You got me there."

They finished the dessert after a few minutes of teasing banter, and found themselves sitting at the table, not doing anything in particular. John caught himself tapping his foot nervously, but stopped before his boyfriend could notice. Suddenly the small box in his suit jacket felt ten times heavier, and he felt almost lightheaded.

"So, what exactly made you want to take me here anyways?" Alex asked out of the blue. "I mean, besides the fact that it's a fancy restaurant that we've never been to. I mean, why now, of all times?" John sighed.

"I just- one second. Can I go on a bit of a rant for a second, and then by the end of it, you'll probably have the answer to that question?" John asked. He tried to ignore the shakiness of his voice. Alex furrowed his brows a bit, but conceded.

"Go on," he instructed his boyfriend. John took a deep breath and started talking.

"Do you remember when we were at the Schuyler's apartment- oh Lord, do you remember when they had an apartment? -and we fell asleep hugging and we were still hugging when we woke? I remember terrified that you were going to regret it, or be mad at me, but I tried to act super confident, and it ended up working, and I was so relieved that I literally thanked God. Seriously, I got home, folded my hands, and thanked God," John said, laughing. Alex had his eyebrows raised higher than John new possible, and was laughing his ass off.

"Seriously? I couldn't even tell that you were nervous!" Alex exclaimed. John laughed.

"Oh, I was. And if you think that's good, let me tell you this. When we were about to have sex for the first time, I was trying not to cry in the car because I was so terrified. I had never had sex with somebody that I liked as much as I did you, and I didn't want to mess up," John confessed. Alex had tears in his eyes from his excessive laughter and surprise. "And there have been so many other times, like when you got me the art supplies, or when you got me the turtle, or when you said we should move in. Every time you've ever laughed or cried or smiled or gotten mad or gotten scared I've fallen more in love with you. Every time I've wished that you could see what I'm thinking or feeling, or hear what I want to tell you, but I never have because I haven't known what you'd think, or haven't known how to say it. Believe me, I rehearsed this time after time, and it's still totally different from what I had planned on saying because right now I'm just a ball of nerves and a total mess, and yet even when I ramble like this or when I'm so obviously terrified you still love me, and I honestly don't know how, but you do, and it's kind of amazing." Alexander's brows were furrowed again, as he tried to figure out where this was going. John had started talking loud enough that much of the restaurant had their eyes on them, which didn't help with the anxiety.

"Alexander Hamilton, as cliche as this may be, you make me the happiest man alive. I've never loved.. never cared for somebody as much as I do you," John started. He was standing up now, and trying to keep his hands from shaking. "I can't imagine life without you, nor life with anybody else. Even if it means constantly painting my nails, or putting chicken on my burritos instead of barbacoa, I'm fine with that. Because you're worth so much more than beef of my burrito, or anything else in the world. I love you, and so I have to ask you this one question." John pulled the box out of his pocket and got down on one knee. He noticed Alexander's hands fly to his mouth. "Alex, love of my life, will you marry me?" John finally asked.

Tears were streaming down Alexander's face, not to mention the faces of other patrons in the restaurant. He tried to stop crying, but after failing miserably Alex managed to choke out a response in between sobs. "Yes, you idiot!" Alexander laughed. John let out the breath he had been holding and laughed with joy and relief and excitement and any other emotion he could think to feel. He threw his arms around Alex, both of them a mess of tears, smiles, and love. John was pretty sure he heard some other people in the restaurant clapping, but he couldn't focus on anything except for the man that just agreed to marry him.

After hugging for a nearly absurd amount of time, John pulled away and grabbed his boyfriend- no, his fiance's hand. He grabbed the ring, hands shaking uncontrollably, and slid the ring on, looking up at Alex hopefully. Alex laughed a little. "Fits like a glove," he said, to John's relief.

"I answered your question, right?" John asked, cheeks still wet with tears. Alex grinned.

"In the best way possible."

fin

Well, that was Soft. I hope you enjoyed it! I'm sad that it's over, but all good things must come to an end, and that includes this. I have been overwhelmed by the support and attention that this story has gotten in the past two-ish months, especially for my first story, and I couldn't be more grateful. I remember bragging to my friends about 400 reads, and now I'm over 20k!

I wasn't expecting to actually finish this story, if I'm being honest. It started because I was home from school, sick , and I was a little too obsessed with Hamilton. I liked writing and didn't have anything better to do, so I started this story. I ended up talking with people, and making friends, and I couldn't believe how incredible everybody was to me, nor that they enjoyed my writing so much. I will never forget how amazing that feeling was.

 I'm toying around with the idea of a sequel, but if you can't wait for that, or if I don't do it, then please check out some of my other works! I do mostly Hamilton fics (Lams and Jamilton) but I might be doing a Drarry one, too, or maybe other ships. Not sure yet. But for, now, I love you all, and I hope you enjoyed Soft!

Sincerely, Me

(I'm Via, in case ya didn't know, but I wanted to make that joke)

Um, hi, this is future Via who wants to add that I did start a Drarry fic on the account i currently use which is romaxia so if you like Drarry then you should check it out, if you want to. Sorry to self-promote, but I knew that was something some people were interested in, so I wanted to add that. Thanks!