"Noah," I said him tentatively. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

"From you, that's a loaded question, love." He laughed, but it wasn't his normal hearty laugh and sounded more forced and hallow. But he didn't laugh as much as he used to, so at least it was a laugh.

"First time you did that, I almost passed out giving blood." He started out with a smirk, but then his mouth softened and he looked at me tenderly. "Second time, at dinner... well, you know."

"So you should know that I'm serious then." I looked at him well, seriously. At he least I hoped he sensed the seriousness I tried to shoot at him through my eyes.

"Of course. What is it?" His smiled faded as he leaned against his dorm room desk.

I'd texted him to see if I could come over after his last class, before he had to work. He worked a lot of nights lately and I hadn't seen him often this week. After reading emails that UCL decided to close the campus, I had a question that was too important to be asked in any way other than in person.

"If I asked you, would you join a clinical trial?"

"Now you want to experiment on me?" As I picked up on a hint of humor in his tone, I smiled brightly.

"No, it'd be for you." His brow furrowed slightly at my words, and I could tell he was confused about why I asked.

"Maggie," He started. "I have to tell you something too. They're closing down UCL. Well, except for people like you."

"I know, saw the emails." Dr. McKenna had briefed me on how the changes impacted me earlier as well. He'd also arranged for a private transport van to get me to and from work since I was no longer allowed to take any more bus rides. The risk of exposure to the lab was too great.

"My parents want me to go home..." Noah's words made perfect sense. He had two younger brothers, and a grandmother. Family was important to some people at this time.

"Do you want to go home?" I asked a simple question, but one that carried a lot of weight. Every part of me wanted him to stay, yet I knew that was illogical and nonsensical. I was selfish in how I liked him being around me and how his presence was calming. Despite this, I hadn't yet told him how he was my remedy against panic attacks.

"Well, they're closing the dorms, so yeah." He glanced at me. "And no."

"COVID-19 will get you no matter where you live." I replied in a tone that came out harsher than I meant it to.

I regretted the words as instantly as I said them. I'd seen the effects of the inevitable pandemic during our now almost daily running sessions and how it had started to affect him personally. Even now, his discomfort radiated from his entire body, from his slumped shoulders to the way his fingers twitched against the side of his leg. His once brilliant blue eyes were now clouded with constant preoccupation and surrounded with darkened circles that I assumed was due to insomnia.

Noah was scared. Every inch of him was scared. Which brought me to why I was here.

"That makes me feel loads better, thanks for that."

"I just meant-" I felt incredibly guilty about my lack of sensitivity.

"I know what you meant. What's the experiment? Creating zombies?" At least he attempted humor.

I shook my head but my smile brightened. "Potential vaccine."

His entire demeanor entirely changed. His face softened and another emotion, possibly hope,  appearead. Just a flicker of hope shown on his expression in the form of a small tug on his mouth.

"As in..." He spoke slowly, as if he tried to process what I just said.

I nodded excitedly. "It's not for certain, but initial clinical trials came back really good. They're working on replicating it for the whole building to get one. Again, not certain, but I hope it'll work."

"You mean..." His eyes stared at me for a few minutes. His weighted gaze didn't make me feel uncomfortable since I saw he processed things on his own.

"You did it?" I nodded silently.

"You did it!" Before I knew it, he swept me into a big hug. "I knew you'd do it, Maggie you're bloody brilliant."

"Technically we did it," I tipped my head back up towards his dorm room's ceiling. "It was a team effort. Including you, so thanks."

"Me?" Noah gently released me. "What? When?"

"Two weeks ago, I picked one of your blood samples to try the most aggressive approach. It worked, mostly. We refined it within two days. Dr. McKenna just told me this morning that other labs have replicated our results... They're recruiting for clinical trials this week. I can't guarantee you won't get the placebo, but please join."

"Why?" He asked abruptly, in a sharp tone I hadn't ever heard from him, and stepped back from me.

My spine stiffened as my mind clicked. "You have asthma," I started with a pathetic fact. "You're immune-compromised."

"So are lots of people," he pointed out without a blink of his eyes. "And I'm not over sixty. Give it to someone who needs it more, like my Gram."

"I..." One of my hands wrung the other as I admitted, "I first tested it out on one of your blood samples. It had complete necrosis."

His forehead creased with a small line as he frowned. "I don't know what that means."

"It'll work on you." He didn't respond, and I got the sense that he believed me but necessarily hadn't agreed with me. "I can arrange for your family to also participate, if you want. Amy is coordinating with NHS."

"Okay, so I'll just get it when they start passing them out. What aren't you telling me?"

"Noah, we're going to continue making it once it's proven successful." I hesitated for a moment, but then released the cold, harsh truth. "But it won't be available to the general public for eight or nine months, at the earliest."

"Eight or nine months? People are dying Maggie. Everyone is completely scared. Except you," he added the last part with a smile.

I wasn't sure how to process his last statement, so I ignored it and focused on the facts.

"The trials have to be evaluated for three months. The other labs need to replicate our results in their trials, then it has to be mass manufactured, which is not done by us. The trials are crucial, we tested a lot of scenarios but it might not work. It's still in the research phase."

"I... understand this sounds horrible," I continued. "But please do this."

"Why do really want me to do it?" He asked quietly.

I fell silent. I hadn't shared the real reason, my selfish reason, and he knew that. Worse, he'd asked me to further explain it.

Why can't the logical reasons be enough?

"Just please... talk Maggie." His eyes pleaded with me as he took a step back closer. "Even if you don't think it's the right thing to say, please say what is in your mind."

"Okay." I absently ran my fingers through my hair and fell silent for a moment. My heart pounded inside my chest walls as I admitted in a voice that felt strangled in my throat, "You're... too important."

"Under the circumstances, I fail to see that. You're the genius. I work at a supermarket," he reminded me as a flicker of a smile played on his lips. "Although, yes people need to eat and shelves need restocking."

His arms crossed over his chest as he challenged, "Sorry love, you'll have to do better than that."

"You're important... to me. Okay?" The words actually seemed easier to admit. They stirred something inside me, a feeling I'd never felt before. I felt empowered, so I stepped closer to him, reached out and wrapped my arms around his waist.

He stood rigidly at first, as I'd caught him off guard. I leaned the side of my cheek into his chest and leaned against him with my forehead pressed into the side of his neck.

"You're too important to me." His whole body relaxed against mine as I repeated the words. My eyes slid closed and I smiled as his arms warmly wrapped around me and his palms pressed into my back. Instantly, all of my tension started to leave as well.

"Okay, fine." I felt my hair flap lightly as he sighed. "I'll do the trial. Just don't turn me into a fucking zombie, k?"

Ha, fook-ing.

"It won't."

"But I have to go home," he pulled back slightly and frowned.

I smiled since I'd already worked out all of his logistics. "It's okay, you can get it tomorrow. I already filled out your patient profile." He pulled away from me slightly further, but moved his his hands up and held the back of my head. I saw him shift from an initial smile to one of disappointment and... something else. Sadness? There was so much emotion in his eyes, like a storm brewed inside him, but I couldn't read them.

Correction, I didn't know how to read them.

"No Maggie," he finally said quietly. "I have to go home to Kent within a few days. Leave London. My family lives two hours from here."

I didn't answer him, just reached my hands up to the sides of his cheeks. My eyes examined every detail I could see and my lips curled upwards into a soft smile because I knew this was something I wanted stored in my memory for easy future access. Ordinarily a two-hour distance would have been no issue, but that wasn't our circumstances.

"Maggie," he said softly and pulled me back into him.

I inhaled briskly and shuddered slightly as his lips pressed against mine. His kiss was the softest, most gentle physical feeling I'd ever felt. His breath washed softly over me and my entire body felt like it was happy for the first time in my life. I'd never had this feeling, never even considered it a possibility, so I just stood there and enjoyed every sensation until he pulled back.

"Now I definitely don't want to go." He said sadly, then pulled me into another embrace. I smiled when I noticed his heart beat just as fast as mine felt.

"I know," I admitted with a whisper and hugged him tightly.

He didn't ask me why I didn't argue against him leaving. Logically ,it was a terrible idea for him to stay. He couldn't stay at UCL, the only place for him to stay was my shoebox-sized place, and I got claustrophobic just sleeping there overnight. His family needed him, he obviously needed them, and I was in no position to convince him otherwise.

Needs were always more important than wants.