Her name is Anna. She had long knee length black hair, pale honey coloured eyes, and pale skin. Anna put the beer bottle down. If she didn't drink she'd cry. And if she cried, she'd never be able to function. How can it feel to be pushed so hard, that drunk is you're new sober, and your real sober is like a nightmare.

Anna choked on her last sip and the bartender knew what that meant. It was cut off time. Anna would trug home and open another. She'd pass out. That's the only way she could sleep. It was the only way to keep the nightmares away, and the only way to make the memories stop. She was groggy, she hacked up some spit, and sent it down the drain. She looked in the mirror and sighed. This was her life. Her eyes fell on the clock, as he walked back to the kitchen. "9:30, later than usual." She said as she popped open another beer. "Looks like I have to go get more," sighed Anna. Anna got dressed and walked to the store around the corner. "Out of beer," said Sean as she walked in. Anna looked at him then headed for the beer cooler. Sean sighed as he light a cigarette. He was a tall middle aged man, around 6"5, and had short black hair, as if he just rolled out of bed. His eyes also confirmed that theory. "You reek of booze, you know that you don't have to drink just because he lef-." Anna slammed the cooler door. She carried the 12 pack and slammed it on the counter. "$24.35, right," said Anna sternly. "Yeah," sighed Sean. Anna put the exact money on the counter, flashed her license, and walked out. Sean picked of his phone and dialed. "Yeah she was here again. That's 19, 12 packs this month, plus 17 bottles of vodka. I feel like you need to talk to her again, but I highly doubt it will be any good. Hey we all got an addition......hahaha yeah. I'll see what I can do," laughed Sean then hung up. He looked out the window. "When will you snap out of it," sighed Sean. He put out his cigarette.

Anna walked back to her apartment. She was use to walking back to where no-one would see her. Through Alleys, back ways, and though rundown backyards. "Shit," mumbled Anna. Another note from her parents tapped to the door.

Dear Anna,

You are 25, you need to make something out of your life. I got you a job at the office. You cant just keep selling scarves, dresses, and jewelry on etsy.

Call us and visit,
Mom & Dad

The only reason Anna would get dressed up, would be to flirt and get free drinks at the bar. She put on her black dress. She was about to go out when she heard a knock at the door. Ichi entered. He was an Asian guy, around 5"8, blue eyes matching his blue hair
. "Hey Anna, I brought you something." He held up a bottle of wine. "Why are you here," she asked. "Can't I visit my high-school crush without getting the third deegree," he chuckled. Anna rolled her eyes and shut the door as he let himself in. "You still gambling," Anna sighed getting two glasses. "You still drinking," He smirked. "Smart Ass," Anna smiled. "Hey I won 200 bucks," he grinned. "Yeah but how much have you lost," Anna smirked. "Ah that's in the past. The point is that now I have money to spend on my favorite girl," he smirked gesturing towards her as he swirling his wine around the inside of the glass. "So your girlfriend," said Anna right before she took a chug. "Haha now who's being a smart ass," he laughed. "Hm," she smiled. They both finished the bottle and Anna poured vodka in it mixed with gin. "How's about some cards," he smiled taking out a deck. "Regular stakes," asked Anna. "Oh yeah," he smiled. After a few hands, Anna was up. "Full house," she said putting her cards down. "Damn, all I had was a Sanfansico wedding, two queens," He sighed. "I win Ichi," Anna said before taking a shot. "Yeah, yeah,yeah," He sang sarcastically. "So really. Why are you here," asked Anna. After a long pause Ichi said, "Sean called m-." Anna slammed her glass on the table. "You know I don't have a problem. I can drink if I want. I'm over him ok!" She snapped. Ichi didn't bother to say anything. He just shuffled his cards. "Maybe.... Just maybe, a drink is just a drink.," mumbled Anna. "I want you to meet someone who'll love you. I want you to be happy," said Ichi. Anna shrugged depressingly as she downed another shot. "Did you hear about Kaytlyn?...it seems she overdosed. Seems like she was consuming straight caffeine. She's in the hospital, critical care," he said slowly as if telling a secret. Anna looked up. "And Sacoya. She broke her arm. It seems she just can't get enough of that constant attention," he sighed. "How many boyfriends is Amaya up to now?" Asked Anna. "5 at once. Are you surprised. Girl loves her sex," smirked Ichi. Anna got up and walked to the cabinet. "Really? Another bottle," Ichi said boringly. "Just drop it, ok," sighed Anna. "Ok, I'll drop it; but I won't watch you drink till you drop," said Ichi disgusted. Anna grabbed a flask from the cabinet, she chugged it then mouthed out the word everclear before she passed out. "Damn it Anna," snapped Ichi as he slammed his fist on the counter.

She woke up to see Ichi in the chair by the door watching the hospital television. She saw the IV tubes. She reached for them when, "hey don't even fucking think about it." She turned back to Ichi who had a lottery scratch card in his hand. His eyes looked angry. "I swear to Mother fucking God, if you pull those out!! You're seriously dehydrated. You're lucky you didn't keel-over," he snapped. Before Anna could even respond, "whats going on in here," yelled the nurse running into the room. "Nothing," angrily snapped Ichi as he got up from the chair making her jolt. He walked out but not before saying, "I called your brother. He'll be here in 10 min." They stayed silent till. "Miss Anna are you ok," asked the nurse. "Can you get me some orange juice," asked Anna quietly, her throat was on fire. "Yes I sure can," she smiled. She left the room and Anna looked out the window. "Am I sober? Funny how I can't tell anymore," sighed Anna. Her mind began to wonder. Then HE came into her mind and she slapped herself. The nurse came in to see her with a her left cheek bright red. "What happened," she gasped. "I fell," said Anna. "You got out of bed," asked the nurse unsure how to act. "I had to pee. Can I have my juice," she said. The nurse gave it to her then awkwardly left. She poured the tiny bottle she kept in her bra into the orange juice and She took a chug as quickly as She could. She felt a little bit of a buzz, but not enough to get her drunk, she was still stuck with the fear of my memories approaching.

"Why can't I be like someone normal and not chose alcohol as my safety blanket, but I guess in a way it's not.... I control how much I drink I just happen to drink a lot," thought Anna. She laid there and let her eyes examine the room. Anna sighed as her brother walked in the room; he was holding a Coke. "What else was new, you never did stop drinking that stuff and somehow mine was wrong but yours is socially expectable," thought Anna. He looked at her, looked at the IVs and looked at the cup in front of her. Before she could say anything he grabbed it and he took a sniff. "Really are you fucking kidding me you're in the hospital for this crap and you're still doing it!" He sneered as if he was disgusted just by the sight of her. "Well what do you expect, I'm having a drink just like you," I said as if he was stupid. He threw the cup in the trash. "He never seems to care about me once I started drinking, we seem to get further and further apart from each other," she thought. "I'm not the one who's suicidle! And why was the reason again! Oh yeah...... Because of him," he said harshly. Anna froze, by his words. She became to shake. "What was his name again," he asked playfully. "NO...DONT SAY IT!!! DONT SAY IT," Anna screamed as she tightly held her head! The nurses rushed in. It was as if all sound stopped as they grabbed her. Anna just kept screaming, and holding her head. "She's unstable," the nurses kept yelling, till the doctors rushed in. Her brother slipped out of the room. Everything was in a panic till she passed out. "Her alcohol level spiked again! How!???" The doctor yelled. "How did this happen... I can't say it was all his fault.... I guess I can finally think about it.... What drugs are these? Whatever.... At least now I can think." Anna laid there, eyes glazed over. Like she was in such a deep sleep.

Anna mind began to wonder, "hm did I pick up milk, wait I hate milk... Why did I buy it every month? Oh yeah. He loved milk. He would have a glass almost everyday for breakfast. It was his favorite. I wonder why. Was it the taste or the idea of calcium. We don't even need that much. It's all a lie. I lied."

Anna's memory:
"So that it. It's over," Anna's words seemed to fall from her mouth. "Yeah," he replied. "But we're married," said Anna as her voice hitched. "Well are you gunna keep crying," he asked with out any emotion. Anna tried her best to keep it together. She slowly stuttered, "I promise.....no more crying." "Good. Get it out of your system now," he said as he walked out of the house closing the door behind him. As soon as the door clicked shut. Anna fell to her knees, gripping her sides, and just balled her eyes out.

(Few days later)

*smack*
"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't cry anymore!" He yelled as he lifted her by her shirt. "I..I'm s..sorry!! It just slipped out!! I'm sorry!!! IM SOR-" he threw her to the ground, so hard she bounced. Knocking her unconscious.

She woke up in the hospital, divorced, beaten, and barley conscious. Seemed he signed the papers for her. "Madam, you should be out of here soon," the nurses would say. That's when it all started. The next day she went home. As she was cleaning she found his crown. She hated the smell, yet she drank it. Suddenly her body was relaxed and she forgot. The pain, struggles, and the regret.

(End)

Anna blinked slowly. Her parents were by her side. They seem to be talking but all she heard was white noise. She saw them sign some papers, and soon was in a wheel chair rolled into an ambulance. "I need a drink", thought Anna. Soon she just went back to sleep. What felt like days, she finally woke up. She was dressed in white, her room was also a pale white color. "What happened," she mumbled to herself. "Ms. Anna. It's time to socialize," a nurse smiled. She was lead around the building passing a lot of "therapy" rooms. "Welcome to happy hills mental institution," she said as she opened the door in front of her. It was a huge living room. "Was I supposed to just fit in?" Anna thought as she sighed and walked in. Sitting down next to a girl with curly raven colored hair. "My name is Lily," she smiled. "Hi, Anna," she waved. "

"If your drugs go missing, Melissa did it," said Lily pointing to a girl in the corner of the room. She had long brown hair, fair skin, such a normal looking person. "What?" Anna asked. "She's a hardcore pill popper," said Lily quietly. "How do you know," Anna asked. "I'm just a really good observer. I like to know things," she smiled. "Bullshit. Your a class A stalker and you know it. I mean that's why your here," we looked and saw a guy. He had blond hair, blue eyes, and he looked bored. "I'm not!" Snapped Lily. "Really. You said you went on so many dates with this boy, but he didn't even notice you there. Plus stealing someone's toothbrush is the definition of a stalker," said Alex. "I'm not! He loves me," screamed Lily. Before long, Alex had Lily in a ballistic crying rage. She lost it. As per protocol, the nurses rushed in, detained her, and from the coats they were wearing, she was headed to the last room, down the hall. "So tell me about him," Alex sighed staring at the wall. "What?" Anna asked. "Oh come on. I may be in this asylum, but it sure as hell isn't for being stupid. You avoid direct eye contact with males. You stare at their nose not the eyes. You also seem tense, I say your an alcoholic. Your face doesn't show signs of hard drugs. Should I go on, or are going to talk?" Alex asked boringly. "I guess I can. I don't know what their giving me but I seem to be able to talk about it... His name is-" A nurse opened the door. "Ms. Anna. You have a visitor," she smiled. Ichi walked in. "Hey Anna. Funny to see you here," he smiled. Anna's face relaxed. "Here," Ichi handed her a package. She opened it and found a notebook and pencil. "Thanks," she said. "Ichi, this is Alex. Lily was here but she had to get shock treatment. Hopefully she'll be done soon," Anna said. "Maybe we should work on getting back home," said Ichi. "Why. Here I can think," said Anna. "Because you aren't crazy," said Ichi. Anna thought about it. "Just be safe. I'll try to get you out in a few days. Try to behave," he sighed as he walked out of the room. "Charmer," said Alex. "He's one of my closest friends," said Anna. "I can tell. So you were saying," said Alex. "Oh yeah. Well I was married, he said I cried too much. He abused me, yet I think I deserve it. It was all my fault, I just couldn't satisfy him any more. So when I discovered that alcohol could make me forget, I drank every day. It did a great job at numbing the pain," Anna spoke softly. "Hm, maybe you did deserve it," Alex's response caught her off guard. "You deserve it, cuz you didn't do a damn thing about it." Anna clenched her fists. "You're right. I didn't," Anna's voice cracked and she felt tears running down her face. "I wish I felt things like you," Alex said. "Hu?" Said Anna. "If you wanna cry, cry. If you want to scream, then scream. Having emotions doesn't make you weak; it makes you human," Alex sighed. "And that's what I've been trying to kill," whispered Anna. They both looked at each other. "So... Why are you here," said Anna. "For doing what you tried and being successful. I give others pain so I can feel something myself," said Alex. He got up and told the nurse he wanted to go back to his room now. He was done socializing for the day.

After he left Anna just thought. She let her mind wonder. "I didn't do a damn thing about it... I couldn't risk him leaving. Why? Was it because I didn't want to be alone, or was it because I liked it." She sighed, "I need a drink." Anna stood up and walked to the nurse. "Can I go to my room now," she asked. "Sure, just 20 more min," the nurse smiled. "Fine," sighed Anna. She walked to the window next to whom she would prasume to be Melissa. They made eye contact but didn't say a word. "3 seconds," she mumbled. Anna was confused till three seconds later a nurse walked up to her. Melissa stood up and she was pat down. "Looks like your clean again. That makes day thr-" the nurse stopped when she pulled out a pill from the sewed collar of her sleeve. "Melissa, looks like it's another day of therapy," said the nurse. "You mean torture," sighed Melissa. "No, it's not. Cold and Heat therapy is quiet common," said the nurse as they took her away. "Therapy. I wonder what mine will be. This Asylum. For people who's crazy isn't like others. But it's the crazy that makes life interesting," Anna continued to think as she gazed out the window. "Whatever I'm on, I know it won't last. What the hell will I do. I'm weak," sighed Anna.

She went back to her room, she got another dose of medications, and she fell asleep.the next morning she was brought out for more socialization. Like a caged animal. "Alex," said Anna as she approached him. "What?," he asked. "Nothing, just wanting to talk," said Anna. "Look I'm not your therapist. But feel free to talk just don't expect my opinion," he sighed. "How long does it take to get cured here. Do you know. Right now I seem to be happier here and I do drinking myself sober," Anna sighed. Alex gave her a bored look. "Sounds about right," he said bluntly and she seemed content with that answer.

Soon the nurse walked in and Anna was taken to the couch across the room. Anna was seated in the living room next to what seemed like a business woman. She had a cold stare and it seem to be impatient just from being near her. "Ok let me get to the point. The only way you get out is for your parents and your husband to sign," Ms Clark said. "I'm not married," said Anna bluntly. "Technically you still are. The papers weren't signed by you, and the FBI discovered that for us. So he will be by with the paper work soon?" She saw the look of complete fear in her eyes. She shook, she was too scared to move. "Who," she managed to mouth out. "Your husband," she said confused. It got quiet till " I need a drink....I NEED A DRINK," Anna screamed. She had a mental break down. She was taken to therapy to be controlled. Alex saw her wheeled away. He sighed, like he saw this coming. Anna woke up, yet she wished she was still dreaming, for she woke up in a nightmare. She sat up. "Morning Drunk. Or should I say morning Anna." He said with an expression of complete rejection. Anna froze, she didn't dare move. "Look I'm not here to waste my time. I don't give a fuck if you stay in the looney bin, but I'm not gunna stay married to an emotional enept psychopath. So here," he threw the papers at her. The pen hitting her cheek. "Sign it," he snapped. She's been injected so many times that she didn't even register who exactly he was. Yet the moment it wore off she screamed. He grabbed her by the face, covering her mouth, as he slammed her head into the wall behind her. "Shut up. Just sign it and I'll get the fuck out of this hell hole," he said calmly. Not wanting to be interrupted. Anna shook, she was scared for her life, looking into the eyes of the devil. "Sign it," he repeated, tightening his grip. Anna signed it. He let her go, a hand print throbbed on her face. "Looks like you learned," he stepped towards the door, "you didn't cry in front of me." Anna couldn't scream anymore, her face burned in pain. Still she didn't cry. Not because she couldn't but because she was so scared to defigh him.

Anna laid back down. She couldn't stop shaking. She thought it was all over till she heard a sound. It was the sound of a water balloon bursting. She got up and opened her door. She heard it again yet this time, it was followed by a thud. "Normally a nurse would be outside my door, I guess they wanted to give me alone time with him. They wanted to kill me," thought Anna as she clutched the sides of her dress. She kept walking till she heard heavy breathing form inside a closet door. Hand trembling she swung it open.

Alex was covered in blood, knife in hand, knuckles bruised up, and a smiled painted on his face. "Looks like you caught me. I killed the bastard." Anna didn't cry. She couldn't, the shock was too great. Yet as time ticked away, she felt tears.

The time that went by felt like a blur. The sound of sirens, the sounds of screams they were all melted together like some sort of sick art project. She wondered if she'd ever wake up from this nightmare or if this was as good as dreams would get. Soon she went back to her routine. Alex was taken away. She hasn't seen him sense... it's been 27 days. She would wonder how long therapy took. How long would it take to cure a murder...

Till something happened the nurses were gathered around the TV and Anna managed to sneak a peek. Alex was on the news and I guess from what it look like the nurses saw this coming.

Soon he was executed by police. His death was shown on the T.V. He was going to be shot by a firing squad. Anna's eyes were glued to the set. He looked up and smiled The last words he mouthed out were, "you're free." From then on Anna got better, yet she still dove in and out of depression. The bottle in her hand got heavier and heavier till she had no choice but to drop it.

Whether it be healthy or not, whether it be food or people, we all have an addiction, yet not everyone can control it...

The End