Never abuse
a good person
'coz they will
unleash
the hidden
wickedness
in their hearts

/18/ What's Wrong?

[RUFFA]

"GIRLS, leave us alone."

I know that voice. It's Brie's. I just stood there and tried to peek. I saw Sophie and Brie facing each other. It's too late for me to go out now, so I stayed quiet and listened to their conversation.

Sa una pinag-uusapan lang nila 'yung tungkol sa party ni Nap. Brie is pressuring Sophie to attend the party even she dumped Nap. But their conversation is heating up until Brie said those words...

"...I also know why you dumped Nap. You dumped him because you like our teacher—may gusto ka kay Sir Gil."

"You're absurd, Brie. Personal tutor ko si Sir Gil."

"Yeah right, but you're not exempted to fall for him, right?"

Sophie denied the accusations but Brie's right. Minsan ko nang nakita noon si Sophie at Sir Gil sa faculty, whenever there's only two of them, Sophie will show her affection to our teacher. Sir Gil might be aware and I'm not sure kung pati siya ay may gusto kay Sophie.

Natapos ang pag-uusap nila sa kasunduan na pupunta si Sophie sa party. An idea suddenly struck me.

Nap is an egoistic brat, he doesn't really care who will come to his party, and he just wanted to show off to the whole school. Kaya kahit walang nag-invite sa'kin sa party ay pumunta ako.

As expected maraming dumalo sa party. Pagpasok ko sa loob ay nakita ko ang mga pamilyar na mukha ng mga schoolmates ko, they're all wearing a fabulous out to impress everybody.

"What a miracle! Look who's here!" Nap approached me as he greeted me with sarcasm. "Ruffa, akala ko ayaw mo sa mga parties?"

"We're seniors already; I don't want to miss my last chance to attend your party. Happy birthday by the way."

"Well, okay, thanks. Enjoy the party!" iyon lang ang sinabi ni Nap at iniwanan na niya ako.

Naglibut-libot ako sa bahay ng grandparents ni Nap. Weird, because I can still remember the memories I got in this place—with them.

Nobody knew in school that I used to be close with Nap, Blake, Briana, and Sophie. We're childhood friends to be exact. Minsan kasama ko ang parents ko noon na pumunta rito para sa isang gathering, there I met my parent's friends and their children.

Hindi ko maiwasang mabitter habang naglalakad sa hallway ng mansion. Those were the good days. Not until my parent's business went bankrupt, for some reasons they were kicked out from the Mayor's circle.

Our family's doing fine now, mas pinili nilang lumayo sa dati nilang lifestyle—they chose an ordinary life. I don't blame them for that.

Hindi ko na rin naging kaibigan sila Brie simula noon, hanggang sa tumuntong kami ng high school ay hindi na ako ulit sumama sa grupo nila. But the truth is... I secretly long for their friendship.

Nang dahil lang sa pagkakaalis ng mga magulang ko sa 'circle' ng mga magulang nila ay hindi na nila ako pinansin? We used to play a lot when we're little. And I hated to see them to have a special privilege.

Na para bang entitled silang gawin ang gusto nila dahil lang sa estado ng buhay nila. Samantalang ako... I am always being told to be a 'good girl'.

Samantalang sila... kahit anong gawin nila ay okay lang, kahit na hindi sila mag-aral ng mabuti, kahit na hindi sila maging mabuting tao—okay lang dahil may pribelehiyo sila.

"It's like a trip down to memory lane, huh." I turned around when I heard a familiar voice. Si Sophie. She's holding a goblet of wine and her face is red—I thought she's drunk.

I smiled. "Hi, Sophie."

"Alam mo may matagal na 'kong gustong itanong sa'yo, Ruffa," sabi niya at sabay kaming naglakad sa mahabang hallway.

"A-Ano 'yon?"

She stopped walking and she faced me. "Why did you ignore us?"

"Huh?"

"You just stopped hanging around with us during middle school. It's just... sad that we're not friends anymore."

I was confused. Pakiramdam ko parang ako pa ang may mali sa sinabi niyang 'yon. Parang ako pa ang may kasalanan kung bakit hindi ko na sila kaibigan ngayon.

That night I made a plan. For some reasons a hidden wickedness in my heart whispered to me something I didn't know I am capable to do—a revenge.

Dahil sa lasing na si Sophie, nakita ko siyang pumunta sa isang kwarto sa third floor. She was unconscious while she lies on the bed. Kinuha ko 'yung phone niya at binuksan 'yon gamit ang fingerprint niya.

Nakita ko ang sandamakmak niyang tawag at messages kay Sir Gil. This time I composed a message for Sir Gil, I wasn't sure if he'll come.

Eventually, Sir Gil came. I was hiding inside the closet and watching the whole scene. Nagising si Sophie, she's still not herself. She was crying and acting like a child.

Sophie already confessed before but she was rejected. When Sophie suddenly hugged Sir Gil, I secretly took a photo. Kaagad din namang nilayo ni Sir Gil 'yung sarili niya rito. Inalalayan niya si Sophie hanggang sa makalabas sila ng silid.

During the weekend I made my move. I uploaded the photo using a dummy account and it spreads like a wildfire.

Sophie was devastated of course, because of her natanggal sa trabaho ang pinakamamahal niyang tao. Principal Consuelo made a swift move para 'di na lumala ang issue.

Pero hindi pa ro'n nagtatapos ang plano ko.

I sent an anonymous tip to Sophie's locker. I posed as a fake witness, telling Brie is the one who did it. Of course, Sophie is in irrational state.

Pagpasok sa loob ni Sophie sa classroom ay bigla na lang niyang hinila si Brie at doon na nagsimula ang gulo.

During that moment I can't explain the feeling of satisfaction... There's this German word, 'Schadenfreude', it means the experience of pleasure, joy, or self-satisfaction from witnessing the misfortunes, troubles, failures, or humiliation of another.

Sa buong buhay ko ngayon ko lang naranasan ang pakiramdam na 'yon—Schadenfreude.

The school's most popular students are destroying one another? It's a rare sight to see... Tumingin ako sa mga kaklase kong minsang inapi ni Briana noon, like me... they're just looking blankly.

Sigurado ako na katulad ko ay masaya rin silang masilayan ang eksenang 'to. Walang nagtangkang umawat sa dalawa, ang iba pa nga'y lihim na natutuwa at kinukuhanan ng video ang mga pangyayari.

"Ruffa... Alam mo, natutuwa rin ako na nakitang nag-away sila kanina."

Then it hit me. Somebody noticed my wickedness.

*****

NO matter how the administration of the school tries to suppress the issue, they can't stop the whispers and murmurs of the students. Mabilis ding kumalat ang balita sa pangyayaring na-guidance si Sophie at Brie. Everybody thought na masususpend silang dalawa pero hindi, much to my dismay.

Bumalik sa 'normal' ang lahat sa classroom, parang walang nangyari. O pinipilit lang nilang balewalain ang issue pero pinag-uusapan nila ng tago ang nangyari—hindi nila pwedeng komprontahin ng direkta ang dalawang big time students.

Nang sumapit ang uwian ay parang nakahinga ang lahat nang maluwag dahil makakalabas na sila sa classroom na punum puno ng tensyon. Pero katulad kahapon ay naalantala ang pag-uwi namin nang dumating ang isang tao.

Si Sir Gil.

The whole class went silent; we're all surprised to see him.

"Can I have a minute? Sit down, please," pakiusap ni Sir Gil at pumunta ito sa unahan. He stared at us for seconds before letting out a sigh.

"The principal doesn't know that I went here," panimula ni Sir Gil at pilit na ngumiti. "Alam ko na usap-usapan pa rin sa buong campus ang tungkol sa issue. Noong una naisip ko na hayaan na lang si Principal Consuelo na magdesisyon pero... pero pumunta ako rito para sabihin sa inyong lahat... The rumours are not true, there's nothing between me and Sophie."

Umugong ang bulungan sa classroom.

"Sophie, I know you're having a hard time right now, and I'm sorry," mas nagulat ang klase nang sabihin 'yon ni Sir Gil. "And Briana, the rumors said that it was you who set us up."

"It's not me!" Briana yelled.

"Look, class," tumingin sa buong klase si Sir Gil, "Whoever set me up, I'm not mad. I'm... concerned... You're all still kids, even if most of you are already eighteen, but... You still don't know what life is. Before I go, I wanted to tell all of you this... Whatever happens in your life after graduation, don't forget to take responsibility for your life. Grow up well and be a responsible adult."

Tahimik lang ang buong klase at tumitig ulit si Sir Gil sa aming lahat.

"Goodbye, class."

*****

"HINDI man lang ba naantig 'yung puso mo kanina?"

It's her again. Binilisan ko 'yung paglalakad ko pero naharangan niya na 'ko. Tumingin ako sa paligid at nakita ang iba pang mga estudyante na papalabas ng main gate. Sumenyas siya na pumunta kami sa isang tabi.

"What do you want?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Ruffa, Ruffa, Ruffa," tawag niya sa pangalan ko na kinairita ko, "Nakakabilib din dahil hindi ka man lang tinablan ng kunsensya."

"Pinagbibintangan mo ako, Golda?" naniningkit kong sabi sa kanya. "Nasaan ang pruweba mo?"

"Wala, wala akong pruweba," humalukipkip siya, "pero ilang beses na kitang nakita. At ang tanging pwede ko lang gawin ay ang paaminin ka."

This girl is crazy.

"Pero medyo inisip ko kung ano 'yung dahilan mo kung bakit mo 'yon ginawa... Hmm... Ah, napanood ko na 'to sa teleserye. Gusto mong maghiganti," tinuro niya ako.

"Higanti? Kanino?"

Hindi niya pinansin 'yung sinabi ko. "At dahil sa paghihiganti mo may inosenteng magdudusa para sa'yo. Actually sinabi ko kay Sir Gil 'yung tungkol sa'yo, na ikaw ang prospect."

"W-What?"

"Kaya siya pumunta sa classroom kanina para magdeliver ng cheesy na speech," she quoted the word cheesy, "para sa'yo ang mensahe na 'yon. Alam mo ba na hindi man lang siya nagalit nang malaman niya na maaaring ikaw ang nagset up?"

Humakbang siya palapit sa'kin pero wala na akong maaatrasan. Napalunok ako at pinagpawisan ng malamig. She can see right through me, she can see the real me.

"Pero mas naging concern pa siya sa'yo imbis na magalit. Nag-aalala siya sa'yo kung bakit mo 'yon ginawa."

"Wala kang proof!"

"Ruffa, hindi ko na kailangang ng pruweba," ngumiti siya.

Who the hell is she? Why is she doing this?

"You're just a transferee student! Don't talk big as if you know everything."

"I know everything," napatingin kami parehas sa bagong dating. "I saw you that night, Ruffa."

"L-Lulu?" nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang makita siya. "Y-You went to that party?"

"Yeah," casual niyang sagot. "I was there. Coincidence, I think. I saw you took Sophie's phone."

Malakas kong tinulak si Golda para makalayo siya sa'kin, para akong nawawalan ng hininga. I'm starting to breathe hard.

"W-What's wrong with that?!" sigaw ko sa kanila. "What's wrong with getting revenge?!" Tumitig lang silang dalawa sa'kin. "Ikaw, Lulu, palagi kang inaapi at binubully ni Briana, 'di ba?! Hindi ka man lang ba natutuwa na makita siyang napaparusahan?"

"I hated her," Lulu answered and I smiled. "But I'll never do what you did—it's selfish."

"Selfish? Ako?"

All this time I've been trying to be a 'good girl'. And now because of what I did... I'm selfish?

Golda stepped closer again. "Gusto sana kitang sampalin para magising ka sa pinagsasasabi mo." Huminga siya nang malalim.

"Ruffa, you're the one who did it?" It's Sir Gil's voice.

*****

THE good girl will always do the right thing; she's not allowed to make any single mistake. And the good girl will always tell the truth.

Golda set me up. I'm not sure if Lulu really saw me that night. Sir Gil came and my conscience broke in. The good girl is not allowed to revenge even if bad people abused her kindness.

It was the toughest week of my life. But Sir Gil reminded me to be take responsibility so I did. I made a confession, Sir Gil stood by my side, Brie and Sophie are just glaring at me, my parents came and of course, they apologized.

Am I ashamed about what I did? I asked myself but I felt nothing. But I know, what I did was wrong. I was blinded by a wave of unreasonable anger.

The school suspended me for one week.

At hindi ko alam kung anong mangyayari kapag bumalik ako ng eskwelahan.

Nanahimik silang lahat nang makitang pumasok ako sa loob ng classroom. At pagpunta ko sa pwesto ko, nakita ko na may nakasulat sa ibabaw ng desk ko:

GO TO HELL, PSYCHO BITCH.

It was obvious who did it. Tumingin ako sa grupo ni Brie at saktong nakatingin sila sa'kin ng masama. I ignored their intimidation, the bell rang and the whole class stood up when Sir Gil entered the classroom.

"Good morning, class."

"Good morning, Sir Gil!"

May bumato ng papel sa likuran ko at nang pulutin ko 'yon pag-upo ay nakita ko 'yung printed picture ng mukha ko na binaboy nila.

"Was it fun?" namalayan ko na lang na nasa loob ako ng CR, pumasok sa loob si Lulu. "You're the new target, Miss Vice President."

"It's definitely not fun," sabi ko sa kanya. "Few more months we'll graduate anyway."

"That's why revenge isn't a good thing."

"Huh?"

"Revenge is part of a never-ending cycle of hate," nagulat ako nang sabihin 'yon ni Lulu. "Aside from a waste of time."

"Kaya ba... Kaya ba hindi ka na naghiganti noong—"

"Yeah," mabilis niyang sagot. "Past is past."

We both went silent.

"I guess, thanks to you dahil titigilan muna ako nila Briana," sabi ni Lulu. "Don't worry; they're childish, masasanay ka rin sa bullying nila."

I don't know if I should thank her for giving me a piece of advice.

Sabay kaming lumabas ng CR at natigilan ako nang makita sila.

"Well, well, well, isa na namang outcast?" sabi ni Golda at nakatingin sa'kin. Nakita ko na nasa gilid niya si Waldy, nasa likuran naman niya si Jao, Kahel, at Paul. "Welcome to the club of losers."

*****

[GOLDA]

NAG-UUNAT ako habang naglalakad papuntang parking lot. Natigilan ako nang biglang may humawak sa braso ko. Paglingon ko ay nakita ko siya.

"Sir Gil, problema mo?" tanong ko sa kanya.

"Uuwi ka na?" nawirdohan ako sa tanong niya na 'yon.

"Oo, bakit?"

"As a way of thanking you, gusto mo bang uminom?" tumaas ang kilay ko nang marinig ko 'yon sa kanya.

Tumingin ako sa relos ko. "Medyo maaga pa para uminom, kape muna tayo." Ngumiti siya nang sabihin ko 'yon.

Pumunta kami ng coffee shop, halos sabay lang kaming dumating kasi parehas kaming may sasakyan. Dahil nga sa pasasalamat niya, nilibre niya ko. Bigla akong nawirdohan sa kanya dahil parang bigla siyang bumait sa'kin, kung dati palagi siyang nakabusangot kapag nakikita ako—ngayon hindi na.

"May dumi ba sa mukha ko?" naiilang niyang tanong. Kanina ko pa kasi siya tinititigan.

"Hmm... Wala naman, naninibago lang ako. Bakit bumait ka na 'ata sa'kin? Ganyan ba epekto nang nasesante ng isang araw?" natawa siya sa sinabi ko, aba ngayong tumatawa na siya sa mga joke ko.

Umayos muna siya at sumeryoso ulit. "I've been rude at you, I admit that. Because... you bribed my mother to get in. Nagdududa ako sa'yo na may kalokohan ka lang gagawin kaya mo gustong mag-aral ulit."

"Kalokohan? Ako? Kailan ako gumawa ng kalokohan?" triggered kong sabi habang nakaturo sa sarili ko.

Tinaas niya 'yung kamay niya para pakalmahin ako. "Pakinggan mo kasi ako," tumahimik na ako, "I'm sorry for thinking bad things about you. It's been five months, nakikita ko na nag-aaral ka namang mabuti, nakikiparticipate ka pa sa mga school activities... and you even made friends."

Ano ba talaga gustong ipunto ng lalaking 'to.

"I'm just... amazed to you."

Muntik na kong mabulunan nang sabihin niya 'yon.

"Huh? Bakit?"

"For what I can see, you've been taking care of the kids."

"Kids? Hindi ko anak 'yong mga kolokoy na 'yon."

Ngumiti lang siya. "I know... Kaya nga gusto kong magpasalamat dahil nauunawan mo 'yung mga batang 'yon—thank you for guiding them."

Bakit? Bakit siya nagpapasalamat? Ano bang ginawa ko?

"Thank you, Golda."

Sa totoo lang, ngayon ko lang nakita na gano'n siya ka-sincere sa'kin. Tumango ako para tanggapin ang pasasalamat niya. At hinayaan ko na lang na mahawa 'yung sarili ko sa ngiti niya. 

-xxx-

A/N: So, could we all agree that section STEM-2C's parents are Sir Gil (dad) & Golda (mom)??? XD Tawang tawa ako as mga ship nyo haha.