Gerard sat next to Frank's slumbering form, gently stroking his hair as he waited for him to finally wake up, and even though his ass was going numb because of the uncomfortable plastic chair that was the only furniture in the room they provided for visitors, Gerard had no intentions of moving anytime soon.

After Gerard had cried himself out earlier, a nurse had come to Frank's room and explained more about his condition, and what Gerard should expect to happen over the next few weeks.

Frank's tumor was on the left side of his brain, which meant that over time, Frank would lose coordination on the right side of his body, but that wasn't the worst thing. Frank could also go blind before the end, and the nurse had advised that he be kept under constant watch because of this.

Gerard had assured her that he would be with Frank the entire time; honestly, he didn't plan on letting him out of his sight ever again, and if Frank made it through the summer, Gerard would simply postpone going back to school, he could afford to take a semester off, especially if it meant he got more time with Frank.

Gerard's heart twisted painfully every time he considered the fact that Frank wouldn't be a part of his life very much longer, but he tried to ignore it. Falling apart wasn't going to change anything, so Gerard had shoved away his emotions the best that he could, and even though his limbs still felt heavy, and his chest ached, he had stopped crying at least, so that was something.

As soon as Frank awakened, Gerard was allowed to take him back home for now, but they would have to return once a week to drain the fluid from around the tumor in the hopes of buying Frank just a little more time. The nurse had suggested Frank staying in the hospital for longer, but Gerard wanted Frank's remaining days to be the best he had ever had, and that would never happen if he was stuck in this place.

Gerard hadn't wanted to accept that this was the end, and that there was nothing else he could do for Frank besides be there for him, but the nurse had stomped on his last hope for a miracle, emphasizing over and over again that there was literally nothing they could do now that the tumor had grown so large, and if they attempted anything, it would only kill Frank that much quicker.

And even though her words mirrored the doctor's almost exactly, hearing it a second time had made the reality of Frank's situation truly sink in, and even just mentally repeating them caused Gerard to cringe as if they were causing him physical agony, which they might as well be. No external injury could hurt as much as losing Frank, and Gerard would gladly subject himself to endless amounts of torture if it meant that Frank would be spared.

But it wouldn't, nothing would save Frank now, and even though Gerard knew he needed to come to grips with that, how was he supposed to continue on with life as normal when the best thing in it was going to be taken away from him?

Nothing would ever be okay again if - when - Frank died, but Gerard couldn't think about that right now. Frank was still here for the moment, and Gerard was determined to make the most of every second they had left, even if he was dying inside along with Frank.

A tear escaped past Gerard's defenses, and he was surprised when he felt the cool wetness upon his face once more. He had been convinced that he had cried himself empty earlier, but it hadn't taken long for his body to start producing tears again, and before Gerard could stop himself, he was sobbing quietly for the second time today.

The hopelessness of this situation was just too much for Gerard to handle, and he was so scared, and overwhelmed, and alone right now. Gerard wanted someone to come and comfort him, but his parents were in New York, and even though he knew he would have to call them with the news about Frank's condition sooner rather than later, he wasn't mentally prepared to tell anyone about this yet, it would just make Frank's eminent demise even more real in his mind.

Twisted among the sorrow that Gerard felt like he was drowning in at the thought of Frank's death was a tendril of guilt, because Gerard had been aware of Frank's headaches for ages, and he had never once taken Frank to the doctor to get him checked out, but it truly hadn't crossed his mind that they could be the symptoms of anything this serious.

Gerard should have known though, he should have done something back when Frank first started to complain of constant migraines. Maybe he could have saved Frank, and this entire tragedy could have been avoided entirely, but once again, Gerard had fucked up, and Frank was paying the price for his mistake.

"Gerard?" Frank's familiar voice cut through Gerard's self-loathing, and his head shot up so fast he felt his neck twinge in protest, but that was the last thing he was worried about right now.

Frank was awake now, his eyes half open as they peered blearily at Gerard, and even draped in a hospital gown that was much to big for him with sleep still clogging his features, Gerard couldn't get over how beautiful his boyfriend looked.

This just wasn't fair; Frank deserved to live a full life, but because of the cruel hand fate had dealt him, he wouldn't even get to see another year, and someone like Frank deserved all the time in the world - not this, anything but this.

"Yeah Frankie - I'm here," Gerard answered rapidly, his voice scratchy and hoarse from his never ending sobs.

"What's wrong baby?" Frank pushed himself up on the mattress as his face twisted into an expression of concern when he caught sight of Gerard's tear stained cheeks.

"I - uh..." Gerard stumbled over his words while trying to wipe away the evidence of his sorrow with his sleeve. Gerard didn't know how to tell Frank that he was dying; he had been so concerned with his own emotions that he hadn't even considered how he was going to break the news to Frank, and now he was beginning to panic slightly.

"Gee...where am I?" Frank changed the subject when it became obvious that Gerard wasn't ready to speak about whatever was causing him so much distress, glancing around the white room with a confused expression painted across his features.

"You - um...you are in the hospital Frank," Gerard stammered out, still trying to pull himself together so he could tell Frank about his recent diagnosis.

"Fuck - are you okay Gee? I know how much you hate these places."

Frank's genuine distress for Gerard was what finally broke down the last wall that had been containing his unruly emotions, and Gerard couldn't hold himself together any longer. Frank was dying, and even if he didn't know it, his first concern was Gerard and his stupid fears, when instead he should be worrying about himself.

Sobbing bitterly once again, Gerard tried to curl inward as if that would hide his unruly tears from Frank, but Frank wasn't letting Gerard close up on him. Sitting up higher in the bed, Frank wrapped his arms around Gerard's trembling form, whispering soothing words as he rubbed small circles against Gerard's back.

"Baby...please - you need to tell me what's wrong," Frank pleaded, but Gerard simply shook his head no as he continued to weep softly.

Instead of prying any further, Frank simply pressed a chaste kiss to Gerard's cheek, and that minute touch managed to calm Gerard down slightly. Turning his head, Gerard attached his lips to Frank's, leaning in slightly to deepen the tiny peck into something more.

Gerard lost himself in the kiss, focusing on the cool metal of Frank's lip ring, and the way their mouths moved against each other's in perfect sync. When Frank gasped slightly, Gerard took the opportunity to slip his tongue into Frank's mouth, and even though a hospital room probably wasn't the best place to have an impromptu make out session, Gerard was past the point of caring.

He needed to be closer to Frank, he had to remind himself that he was still here - still breathing - at least for the moment, and the intoxicating feeling of kissing Frank erased everything else for the time being, so he wasn't going to stop.

Finally, Gerard pulled away when his lungs began to burn for air, resting his forehead against Frank's as they both panted heavily, their breathing the only sound in the room besides the steady beeping of Frank's heart monitor.

"You okay now love?" Frank asked tentatively, his hand still running against Gerard's spine in a way that had Gerard relaxing under his fingers.

Gerard realized that Frank probably thought he just had an anxiety attack from being in the hospital, and he had no idea of the real reason why Gerard was so upset, but either way, his actions had still done wonders for Gerard's fragile emotional state, and for the first time in hours, he didn't feel like he would shatter if he so much as tried to move.

"I'm better now, thanks to you, but how are you feeling?" Gerard answered truthfully, and he even managed to produce a weak smile to convince Frank of the fact.

"I think I'm okay, but how did I end up here? The last thing I remember was being in my room, and then - I think I had another headache, but everything else is blank." Frank furrowed his nose in concentration as he tried to recall the events of this morning, and Gerard knew he had to tell him now before he ended up breaking down again.

"You did have a migraine. I found you passed out when I came back for you, so I took you to the hospital. I couldn't get you to wake up, and I was so scared..." Gerard trailed off when his voice began to shake, and he had to take a moment to compose himself before continuing.

"Oh fuck - that has never happened before, but I'm okay now...right?" Frank asked warily, touching his head gently as if to make sure it was still properly attached.

"Frank...you - you have..." Gerard stumbled over his words, desperately trying to just spit out the knowledge that Frank was dying, but he wasn't ready to see his face fall when he received the news, and he would give anything to not have to be the one to tell him this.

"Gee..." Frank pressed when Gerard remained silently for over a minute, and Gerard knew it was now or never.

"The doctor found a tumor on your brain, and it's big - inoperable actually, which means that you are dying," Gerard spat out quickly, hoping that this would be like ripping off a band-aid, and it would only hurt for a second, but of course, it wasn't anything like that.

Frank didn't say anything at first, and Gerard knew he was trying to process this just like he himself had struggled with not too long ago. His expression changed slowly from one of shock to dejection, and it hurt so much to see Frank this way.

"What?" Frank finally managed to ask quietly.

"The doctor said it will keep growing, and when it gets large enough, it will move your brain, and if they try to take it out, that will kill you instantly."

"I don't know what to think," Frank mumbled quietly, and Gerard empathized with him all too well.

"I'm sorry Frank...I don't either, and I want to tell you that everything will be okay, but it won't...and I - fuck - I'm so sorry." Gerard didn't know what to say to make this any easier to bear; if he did, he would have repeated it to himself one hundred times over by now, but seeing Frank looking so lost was breaking his heart all over again, so he had to try something, and apologizing seemed as good a place to start as any, because Gerard still felt like this was all partially his fault.

"How long do I have?" Frank questioned wearily.

"Maybe a month," Gerard answered, using all of his strength to hold back another wave of tears.

"Fuck..." Frank sighed out brokenly, slumping back against the bed as if all of his previous vitality had been drained out of him.

"Frankie..." Gerard whimpered softly, vacating his seat to join Frank on the bed, and even though Frank didn't say a word, he scooted over to make room for Gerard's larger frame.

Burying his face in Frank's shoulder, Gerard clutched to him tightly, trying to provide him some form of comfort with his embrace, because he knew his words would do nothing right now.

And as Frank began to cry softly against Gerard's chest, Gerard squeezed his own eyes shut as his tears joined Frank's, gathering him even closer to his body as if that would keep Frank safe from the horrible fate that was waiting for him right around the corner.