Frank made it two more weeks before everything came crashing down, which was two weeks longer than his original estimate for living had been, and even though Gerard wished he could say those two weeks were the best of Frank's life, and everything was happy and magical, and his eminent death was a tiny shadow lurking in the background - it wasn't, and even though Gerard didn't want to lose Frank, seeing him suffer was more heart wrenching than he could ever have imagined.

Frank's vision did not improve over time as Gerard had hoped - if anything, it got worse, and Frank found himself forced to rely on Gerard for almost everything, from getting dressed to walking, and even though Frank never said the words, Gerard could sense how much he hated it.

Gerard didn't blame him for his frustration, because Frank could never stand being helpless, even before he was sick, he refused to let Gerard do anything for him; he never wanted help with his father, or his problems at home, but now he had no choice, and Gerard didn't know what to do to make this any easier for him.

Gerard could tell that Frank despised the need to call for Gerard whenever he wanted something, fuck - he even had to have Gerard help him into the bathroom so he didn't trip and hurt himself, and even though Gerard did everything he could to let Frank function on his own, he even tried simply talking Frank through the obstacles surrounding him so he could navigate them on his own, Frank quickly grew frustrated and sullen, and Gerard had no idea how to cheer up his ailing boyfriend.

And maybe if it was just the blindness, they could have worked past it, they could have found ways to help Frank become more independent, maybe even procured him a seeing eye dog, but once the loss of coordination began to set in, making something as simple as standing up difficult, Frank seemed to give up completely, spending most of his time in bed unless Gerard dragged him out of it, and Gerard lost count of the times he awoke in the middle of the night to the sound of Frank's bitter sobs.

Gerard never knew what to say when Frank cried anymore, so he didn't try to soothe him with pointless falsities, instead, he simply held him, rocking his frail body back and forth as they cried together, and eventually, Frank would drift back off, his damp face pressed against Gerard's chest as his breathing evened out and his expression transformed into one of peace.

Gerard had taken Frank back to the doctor after he had collapsed trying to walk across the kitchen one afternoon, but there was nothing any medicine could do for Frank now, the doctor's only advice was to leave Frank in hospice, to which Frank still stubbornly refused.

Frank's tumor was literally breaking him apart, and even though he was trying to fight it, it was a pointless battle, and Frank seemed to finally realize that, so he had stopped struggling, and it was left to Gerard to continue to encourage Frank to hold on, to push through all of these terrible things for as long as he could, but fuck - it was so hard, and no matter what Gerard said or did, that desolate cast of hopelessness never quite left Frank's eyes anymore.

Gerard though his own problems would increase as Frank began to deteriorate, but he actually found the opposite happening. With Frank needing all of Gerard's attention, he found himself too busy to focus on his own feelings of self-loathing, and even when he was alone, half of his attention was always on Frank, his ears straining for any sound of him calling Gerard's name, his body occupied by other things, and by the time night fell, Gerard was so exhausted that sleep overwhelmed him before his fucked up mind had a chance to kick in.

Today had been better than most though, an unexpected visit from Frank's mother had seemed to brighten Frank's mood considerably, and Mikey had promised to stop by again on Friday as well. He had been down here more often than not, even bringing their parents and Pete with him last weekend, and the company seemed to drag Frank out of his misery for a short time.

And even though they were now alone again, Frank still seemed cheerful; he had been chatting away with Gerard for over an hour, explaining the basic plot of some audiobook he had been listening to lately. Gerard had downloaded a few for him when Frank discovered the fact that he could no longer read without pressing the pages against his nose, and Frank had his headphones in more often than not now.

Gerard smiled softly as Frank continued to describe the story to him, some horror filled romance that was exactly what Gerard would expect Frank to read. Moments like these were rare now, because Frank hardly ever had the energy to participate in conversations anymore, but today he seemed to have woken up; he had even agreed to come downstairs earlier, and they were currently cuddling on the couch, Frank's head resting lightly on Gerard's shoulder as he spoke.

"You need to read it Gerard - I swear, it's so good," Frank exclaimed, and Gerard nodded his head slightly before he realized that Frank probably couldn't see the subtle motion.

"You know sci-fi books are more my thing," Gerard responded teasingly, earning himself a light smack on the arm from his boyfriend.

"You need to branch out Gee - seriously, doesn't spaceships and aliens ever get boring," Frank huffed, and he looked so adorable in that moment that Gerard couldn't resist leaning down and pressing a quick kiss to his cheek. "What was that for?" Frank chuckled, a light blush tinting his features as he peered up at Gerard with squinted eyes.

"I don't know - you are just cute okay?" Gerard shrugged, pulling Frank back in for a proper kiss on the lips this time.

"And this is news how?" Frank grinned, his sarcastic response earning him an obnoxious giggle from Gerard.

Gerard wasn't even embarrassed by the honking sound he had produced though, because this was the first time all week that Frank had seemed like his usual, playful self, and Gerard was ecstatic to have his boyfriend back, even though he knew this wouldn't last for long, nothing they shared would, but it didn't matter, because right now, Frank was happy, and even though he might not be in a few hours, that was in the future, and Gerard had stopped looking ahead ages ago.

---------------------------------------------

Frank found himself alone for a few brief moments, and even though it sounded terrible to say, he enjoyed the solitude in a way, because as much as he loved Gerard, he hated the pain he was causing him, he hated the way Gerard was always on edge, jumping to his rescue every time Frank so much as shifted his position, but most of all, he hated the sorrow he could only barely glimpse in Gerard's once vibrant eyes.

Frank couldn't change what was happening to him, he had accepted that, and even though it would be idiotic to expect Gerard not to be dragged down by it as well, it still hurt, and Gerard didn't deserve this, not that Frank did either, but he would be dead soon, and it would all be over, leaving Gerard to suffer for the rest of his life.

Because Frank knew that Gerard loved him, all of his past doubts had dissipated over the last few weeks, because Gerard had stuck with him through everything, which was more than Frank was entitled to, more than he ever expected actually, but Gerard had proven that he wasn't going anywhere, and Frank only wished he could say the same thing, because Frank had personally witnessed what had happened to Gerard the last time he lost someone he loved, and he never wanted his boyfriend to go through that agony again.

Frank hadn't really allowed himself to think of what would happen after he passed, but he knew it wouldn't be pretty. Gerard had refrained from self-harming ever since the episode that had occurred two weeks ago, but Frank knew he still struggled with the urges, and only the fact that he was trying to stay strong for Frank kept him from dissolving back into the person he had been in high school.

Frank had confided his fears in Mikey the last time he was here, trying to hold back his tears as he begged Gerard's brother to look after him once he was no longer able to, and Mikey promised that he would, he even had plans to convince Gerard to move to New York with them, but Frank was so fucking scared that it wouldn't be enough.

But in the end, Frank couldn't do a thing about it besides hope that he could somehow still be with Gerard after death, which was a bit farfetched, but Frank had always been an avid believer in the supernatural; ghosts seemed much more likely than a magical place called Heaven where everyone lived happily ever after anyway.

And whatever happened, Frank was ready for this, and he wasn't afraid to die any longer, in fact, he was almost looking forward to this all being over, and if it wasn't for Gerard, Frank would have no regrets that his life was ending so soon, but he did have Gerard, and his presence made Frank want to try and stay alive for as long as he could, because every second his heart kept beating was another moment spent with Gerard.

But Frank hadn't been making the most of his dwindling time, and he knew that; it had just been so hard to fake a smile when he could barely walk, not to mention see, and he had been hiding away from everyone, including Gerard, for the past few weeks.

Frank was trying though, he really was, and it was worth it to hear the smile in Gerard's voice when Frank forced himself to participate in the world, even if the last thing Frank wanted to do was get up and pretend that everything was okay, not when his head was aching and his muscles cramped every time he tried to move, but he did it anyway for Gerard.

So Frank had asked Gerard to take him downstairs today, and he had spent time with him that didn't involve sleeping, and honestly, Frank felt more alive right now than he had in weeks, and even though he was still in pain and slightly exhausted, he didn't care, because he had heard Gerard laugh more times this afternoon than he had in ages, and that made everything worth it.

Gerard was currently in the shower at the moment, and it had taken Frank a good thirty minutes to convince his boyfriend that he would be fine on his own for a short time, but after much arguing, including a few half joking comments about how much Gerard stunk, Frank had managed to get Gerard to let him out of his sight.

But now Frank was slightly bored, because sitting on the couch with nothing to do was very unexciting, and he had already finished his audiobook earlier on, so Frank was left with nothing but the sound of running water to occupy his thoughts, and that wasn't enough to distract him from the hidden fears in the back of his mind that Frank hadn't managed to push far enough away.

Fed up with the silence, Frank heaved himself to his feet on shaking legs, feeling around awkwardly for the remote to the television. Even though he couldn't see anymore, the chatter from a random show would be a good distraction right now, and even the simple act of searching for the device was keeping Frank occupied, the fact that he was going about it on his own caused a small feeling of accomplishment to swell in his chest.

Frank wasn't sure where Gerard had left the remote, because the television wasn't on much anymore, and Gerard usually turned it off as soon as Frank came downstairs, but Frank was finally starting to learn the layout of this room, so after an excessive amount of reaching, not to mention almost tripping, Frank felt the plastic edge of the rectangular object, and he almost let out a squeal of excitement when he realized that he had successfully acquired the remote without once asking for help.

Making his way back to the couch carefully, Frank plopped himself down on the cushions with a satisfied sigh, feeling the device with the tips of his fingers, searching for the largest button which would turn on the television, and within seconds, the sounds of some sort of sports game was filling the room, and Frank mentally fist pumped the air at his own independence.

But of course, his happy moment didn't last, because life seemed determined to fuck up everything for poor Frank Iero, or maybe it was death, but for whatever reason, Frank found his hand that was still clutching the remote shaking erratically, the device falling to the floor with a soft clack as the tremor increased in strength, spreading up his arms to the rest of his body with the speed of an out of control wildfire.

"Oh shit..." Frank groaned out in-between gritted teeth, his head spinning wildly as he tried to push back a sudden wave of dizziness and nausea that had appeared as if from nowhere.

Frank blinked his eyes rapidly, a few tears escaping from his closed lids as he willed whatever this was to pass quickly. This wasn't a typical headache; actually - the physical pain wasn't even that bad, relatively speaking; Frank just felt drained, weak, and exhausted, as if all of the life was slowly leaking out of him without his consent.

"Gerard!" Frank screamed, his terror at the situation causing his voice to come out hoarse and cracked, but hopefully Gerard had heard him, and he would be here soon, and he would make everything go away.

Frank tried to pull himself up off the couch, hoping that movement would clear up whatever this was, but that turned out to be a terrible idea, and as soon as Frank reached a standing position, everything seemed to turn sideways, the room spinning wildly in a dizzying fashion that had Frank holding back the urge to vomit.

Frank attempted to take a step forward, but that didn't seem to work out well at all; he was ninety-nine percent certain that he had fallen, but it seemed more as if the ground had risen up to meet his body halfway, and he couldn't even feel the impact of his chest with the hardwood floor, so maybe he hadn't, but before Frank could discover if he was still standing or not, the all too familiar blackness began to encroach over his mind, dragging Frank down into the depths of unconsciousness.

Frank's last though before everything went dark was that he had to wake up again, he had to escape the peaceful oblivion he found himself cocooned in, because this couldn't be it, this couldn't be the end, because he hadn't told Gerard he loved him, he hadn't kissed him goodbye, and he refused to leave this world without seeing his boyfriend one last time.

Ah yes, I am so close to finishing this story, maybe four more chapters left - I think, so hopefully I can write those up quickly and finally bring this extended side project to an end.

So yeah, this is almost over, and please don't kill, but I never intended to change the ending from the original, so prepare yourself for upcoming feels.

((((apologetic vibes))))

<3 starr