chicago

it was saturday, october 16th, and that meant they were playing an arena show today during their TakeOver Tour.
tyler would never admit that in some ways he enjoyed the small clubshows a bit more, just because then it was just josh and him and they were so close together. the stages would be small, and he loved how he could interact with josh more. see him bounce in his seat, him sticking out his tongue, his smiles and whenever he was caught up in the music and had his eyes closed and but his lip.
they'd talk more too, or honestly it was tyler talking to josh. tyler was more comfortable here, often being more affectionate then he intended, but it was the atmosphere that made him do it. next to that he meant it, and he loved making josh a little flustered. that the crowd was there seeing, hearing and filming it, and that it was shared a thousand times online didn't bother him. they accepted it anyway. that was another reason for him to love the small clubshows, the crowd felt more familiar and was closer too. it felt intimate, like he could see every single person there and sing to them.

but then again, he did love the big arenas, ofcourse. the atmosphere of thousands of people screaming your name and every word of all the songs was a dream and still felt incredible. especially after the whole covid-19 situation, he appreciated it more than ever. knowing how easily it could be gone, especially now things were still uncertain, was humbling. yet being able to perform in front of thousands of people at once was good for his ego too, he couldn't deny...

tyler jumped up his piano, singing the song without hesitation, just as the crowd did with him. they loved this moment, even though it had been there for years, nobody ever grew sick of it. he felt so lucky. tyler smiled a split second when josh stood up from behind his drums, doing his signature little walk towards the piano to jump up as well.

he carefully held the polaroid camera in his hand, while the other was clamped around the microphone without any thought. the words just flowed out, but it was like he didn't fully register them anymore. because at that little moment, that lasted a few seconds maybe, it was just them. and even while he was still singing, and josh was ready to jump, it was like all the noises disappeared. he didn't actively hear anything, he didn't see the stage, the lights, the people.

he saw josh. his josh. he moved to the music in his own josh way, irrisistable. he made kissy lips towards tyler, both hands next to his face in peace signs. tyler knew josh was waiting for the picture, but it wasn't the right second yet. and just before josh would have to jump off, he dropped his hands and his lips turned into a big smile.
josh smiling, tylers favorite. a smile that millions of people's loved, and he shared with everyone, sometimes to tylers frustration. it was so beautiful he felt like josh shared it too easily sometimes, wish he could make it his. josh ofcourse could smile to anyone, but not like that.
right that moment, it was just him and josh. and the shimmer in his eyes, his slightly scrunched up nose, and that million dollar smile.

and just in time he took the photo.

**

with a little sigh tyler opened his journal. he twirled the sharpie between his fingers, his other hand turning pages until he reached today's date. he smiled.
his fingers ran over the polaroid. he captured it at the perfect moment. and nobody else but him would ever see. they could ask a billion times and he wouldn't budge. tyler loved their clique but they could be demanding. pretending as if they had any right to 'own' certain things. this, never. this was his and with an absent smile on his face tyler took the cap off the sharpie, and scribbled two little hearts on the polaroid.

"i missed this" tyler started when josh walked into their little green room. his voice was soft, gentle, and tired after the show. he quickly gazed the photo one last time before closing his journal and putting the elastic around it. he then shifted his gaze to josh, who was looking at him, one eyebrow slightly raised in suspicion.
"what got you so smiley" he then asked, obviously he had noticed tyler closing his journal once he walked in.
"you" tyler answered without any hesitation, smile still on his lips. maybe even a little bigger.
"oh really" josh chuckled softly but still blushed.
"really", tyler nodded before pulling josh's arm long enough for the olders to scoot onto the couch, almost in tylers lap as that was where tyler pulled him towards.
he shifted a little to get comfortable, their legs practically tangled.

"the polaroid i took of you" he elaborated. "very pretty".
"can i see?"
"no"
"no?"
tyler shook his head no again. josh raised his eyebrows, ready to ask why. but as his lips parted to speak, tylers fingers softly pressed against them.
"it's mine" tyler said, the earlier smile nowhere to be found. he was serious, eyes observing josh's, gentle and warming before swiftly darting to josh's lips.
josh wasn't sure what to do as he closed his mouth again, tylers thumb still on his lip.
"only mine." he whispered softly, eyes fixated on the movements his finger made, ever so slightly pulling josh's bottom lip down before releasing it.
"you're mine" he added in an even softer whisper, barely there but so clear. josh's skin slowly formed into goosebumps. he could take a lot from tyler but this was a lot, even for him. for them. he forgot how to breathe and just nodded softly, to make sure tyler knew that yes he was. 
tylers eyes shifted back up to joshs. "but i have to share you all the time, with everyone", he continued, honeyed voice so frustrated but so sweet and caring and gentle, yet confident.
"so i won't share this. it's just for me. it's the most you, for me"

"i love you most" was all josh managed to whisper, but barely finished the last word as tyler pressed his lips to joshs.

a.n.: i wasn't actually going to finish this once they actually published the polaroid since it was 'realistic' anymore then, but decided to change a bit to finish it. anyway just a short story, fyh :)