You know that scene you always see in the movies where the hero pulls up to the club in the limousine and exits triumphantly because everything was finally coming up aces for him? Yeah, that was me as I exited the limousine, Beatrice close behind and no doubt smirking at me.

"That's right Bobbikins, enjoy it. Just soak it up," she said, and I stood there for a long moment, aware that everybody in the long line of beautiful people was wondering just who the hell I was and hey, maybe I was someone they knew, and maybe I could get them inside.

My phone buzzed in my jacket pocket, and I pulled it out, realizing just how much of a douchebag I must look at that moment. It was Claude.

I briefly considered answering and sent one of the default text messages instead.

-Sorry, can't talk now.

The phone went quiet, and I wondered how long it would take for him to text me back. He was undoubtedly pissed at me, especially after I'd just disappeared again after having been disappeared for a week already. Oh well, since I was already up Shit-Creek, might as well enjoy my stay, right?

The line literally stretched around the block and it was legendary as lines go since HTDK was one of the hardest clubs in the city to get into. I could now remember hearing stories from Sammy about how she'd heard about some guy or girl paying someone to stand in line for them all night, and they still hadn't gotten inside. Sammy herself had been trying to get passes to the club or at least meet someone, anyone who could get her inside, so it was extremely ironic that of all the people she knew, I was likely going to be her ticket inside.

"I think that blonde over there will deep-throat the fuck out of you if you took her inside with you," Beatrice whispered and I looked over to see what she was talking about. An extremely hot blonde chick was making eyes at me, all hot and steamy and pouty... and did she just lick her lips at me?

I broke my gaze away from the horny blonde and took another good look at the club that loomed over us, the club that ruled the desires of all of these pretty strangers on Friday nights. It wasn't a normal converted warehouse like some clubs tended to be. It had been a bottling plant in its former life some twenty or thirty years ago and was all brick walls and steel beams. Someone had replaced the plate glass windows that stood on either side of the gigantic doors with those thick glass bricks that distorted everything behind them and made everything in front of them look even cooler by proximity. Of course, someone had stuck a light behind them, so the glass bricks made pretty patterns on the people and on the sidewalk.

And those gigantic doors? At least ten feet tall and made of solid oak with black metal studs running along the top and the bottom. Those doors said several things to everyone looking at them, things like "you're not getting in here buddy, so go home now" and "turn back now before the dragons get you."

There were two huge well-dressed bouncers holding court at the front of the line and I instantly knew that they were human. They seem to be very committed to their jobs of deciding who made it past them to be allowed to enter that fearsome door, a nice reminder of exactly why I hated clubs with a passion.

My phone buzzed.

-Dude, what the actual fuck? Where are you?

-It's a vampire thing. Harry sent someone for me, but I think it's okay. Mostly.

-You should have waited for me.

-Didn't have a choice. I'll call you when I get out of this, okay?

-I'm not even sure what to say anymore dude. You're an adult. You make your own choices. Don't be a shitty friend. Make sure you call me.

I took another look at the line and decided that the people there either hadn't seen the doors or they were getting a completely different message than I was. Another big reminder of my passionate hatred of clubs: the impossible lines to get in and some of the pretentious and annoying people in said impossible lines.

I still enjoyed the idea of the clubs, and had spent a good two years drinking hard and dancing harder, but one night, a switch had gone off in my head while I was dancing to some popular song in the midst of a group of girls. It was like someone had zapped all of the electricity from the room and I had stopped dancing, confused by the whole thing and all at once the music had been too loud, too obnoxious. I had walked out then to catch some fresh air and had stood outside the club looking at all of the people outside waiting to go in to share in what was being clearly billed as "fun," but to me had only appeared to be a pointless soul suck. How much time had I spent in those endless lines, facing rejection over and over again at the hands of a bouncer who was waiting for a chance to trip his power all over me or just decided that he didn't like my face?

The oddest thing for me had been walking into my first dive bar and feeling like I had finally come home. Cheaper drinks, music that wasn't trying to become part of you through the sheer act of being loud and there were a hell of a lot less social pressures to impress anyone. The best part of the dive bar was that there were no lines to get in, and that was pure heaven. Plus cheap alcohol for the win. Yay.

I looked back at Beatrice and grinned, feeling a little bit cocky at being one of the chosen few as I noticed the favourable looks being thrown my way. I suddenly remembered that I was also wearing my super expensive suit, and that tonight of all nights I was really looking the part.

"You come here often?" I asked Beatrice.

"I hate this fucking place," Beatrice said and grinned at me. "I was thinking about killing everyone inside and burning it to the ground. Coming?"

I honestly couldn't tell if she was joking.

"But not tonight, right?" I hissed at Beatrice as I stumbled after her.

Beatrice was lost in thought, no doubt imagining the flames exploding out of the building in front of us and the screaming crowds all running from their inevitable slaughter at her hands. She turned to me, a distant look on her face.

"Can't you tell when I'm joking? What kind of psychopath do you think I am anyway?"

"I honestly don't have an answer for that..."

I hurried after her past the crowd and noticed how one of the bouncers practically grovelled for Beatrice and opened the door for her, ushering the both of us inside to the largest foyer I have ever seen. The ceiling was at least three stories high and the wall at the far end was all polished mahogany and burnished aluminum from floor to ceiling. The club logo hung high on the wall, a metal and neon monstrosity that made me think that it would be useful to kill a dragon or extremely hard-to-kill bag guy in a movie.

"Welcome to the Hall of the Drunken King," a tall, good-looking brunette turned from the sleek mahogany desk that served as reception and met us with a huge smile. She tipped her head to Beatrice in recognition and then looked back to me. "Harry told us to expect you."

"That's great I guess?"

"Sir, please look this way one moment, " the woman said and I glanced over to her. The device she pointed at my face flashed once, not enough to blind me, but just enough to irritate. It apparently gave her the results she desired and she nodded approvingly to me.

"Aren't you going to scan her?" I asked, when she simply stepped aside for Beatrice. There was a flash of nervous amusement

(panicohshittherespanicaswellwhyisshesoscaredofher)

on her face as she shook her head.

"Her, I know," she said. "You're new here, but you're in the system, so you're good to go." She waved the device she was holding and I could see an entire profile about me on the screen. Everything Beatrice had mentioned about the system Harry had set up made a lot more sense now. The system went far beyond just making sure bodies went to the right places.

I stepped forward and then something made me spin back around, my heart going from zero to 120 in less than a second as adrenaline surged through me. Two huge vampires in black suits were standing behind me and they may have always been there, or they might have just appeared seconds ago, but I hadn't heard them approach. They were just there and that was scary as shit.

"You're new," the one on the left said. He was about six foot six, black, with a shaved head and in the tradition of bouncers everywhere, very hostile to me.

"We don't like new," the other one said. He was the twin of the other bouncer, equally as tall and broad, except he was the caucasian model of this particular brand of bouncer.

"Please don't let them eat me!" I squeaked and somewhat managed to put myself behind the woman. She just rolled her eyes and tried to wave off the Ugly Twins.

"He checks out, you guys. Please don't make a scene."

"I don't like the look of him," the black one said.

"Ryan, you remember Beatrice?"

They both turned to look at Beatrice, who waggled her fingers at them while she checked her phone.

"Which one of them is Ryan?" I whispered to the hostess.

"They're both Ryan," she answered, and then to the Ryan twins: "Any more questions boys?"

I slowly backed away, the Ryans watching my every step as I stumbled over to where Beatrice was waiting for me, phone still in hand. She had pulled open the huge door on the right side of the foyer. This door was at least eight feet tall and about eighteen inches thick. There was an identical door on the other side of the foyer, but judging from the way the music was muffled, reduced down to the distant thump-thus-thump of the bass, it was equally thick and very soundproof. I wondered for a moment why music wasn't pouring out of the doorway Beatrice held open, but then I saw the stairs leading up and realized that there were two sets of rules in place here at this club. After all, there were two kinds of people to deal with.

"Just ignore those assholes," Beatrice said. "They're not here for you. They like to sneak up on people. It's the only thing they're really good at. Come on."

I followed Beatrice up the stairs, feeling the thump-thump-thump of the music through the walls.

"Humans are allowed over here by invitation only. It used to be easier to bring 'em in but Harry's been setting down more and more rules recently. I don't think he had planned for the place to become popular with the humans."

"The harder it is to get into a place, the more people want to go," I said. "Basic human nature."

We reached the top of the stairs and I paused as I looked out over the reality of the club. It was a huge upstairs area that was filled with about one hundred and fifty vampires of all shapes, sizes and ages. I knew they were vampires in the same way I had known that the bouncers downstairs were all human. Except for the Ryan twins of course. It was just a sense, a certainty that these people here were just like me.

That was probably the stupidest thought I'd ever had.

Beatrice leaned close and for the first time I noticed her perfume and how pretty she was, that slender jawline and those piercing blue eyes that always seemed to be searching for something and laughing at everything at the same time. For the moment, they had settled directly on me and there was no laughter at all.

"Don't let them change you Bob," she whispered. "Whatever you do, remember who you are."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I whispered back and she grimaced.

"I honestly have no idea. I just wanted something cryptic and mysterious to say."

"Okay then..."

"But seriously, don't let them change you!" She growled, deadly serious. Then smiled warmly at me. "Allons-y! Let's go!"

******** AUTHOR'S NOTE **********

The book is now AVAILABLE in Hardcover, Paperback and Ebooks. It's going to live here free on Wattpad, but if you love the story and want to support your awesome author (me), grab a copy from one of the lovely retailers below. Who knows: maybe it can become a bestseller with the help of you lovely WattPadders

Amazon - http://bit.ly/Amazon-SIMBAV

iBooks - http://bit.ly/iBooks-SIMBAV

Barnes & Noble - http://bit.ly/BarnesNoble-SIMBAV

Indigo - http://bit.ly/Indigo-SIMBAV

Check out the website: http://www.bobthevampire.com