Issue #4: Hello? Is This Tech Support?
At a burger joint, Haedn and Miles are seen watching in disgust as Peter messily devours his food. Charlotte was also eating a french fry.
Peter: "Mm-hmm! I love this burger... so good! One of the best burgers I've had."
Charlotte: "Not all humans eat like him, do they?"
Haedn: "No. Thankfully."
Charlotte nods and goes back to snacking on her fry.
Peter: "In my universe, this place closed down six years ago. I don't know why. I really don't."
As he was licking his fingers, a man walked up to the table and plopped the check down at the table. Peter paused at this as the man walks away.
Peter: "You guys have money, right? I'm not very liquid right now."
Miles: "Can we focus?"
Peter: "Uh-huh. Sure."
Miles: "The other Peter? He was--"
Peter reaches for Haedn's burger.
Peter: "You gonna eat tha--OW!"
Haedn slapped Peter's hand away, making him yelp as he holds his hand in pain.
Peter: "Alright, alright."
Haedn huffs a bit and grabs his burger, biting into it before going to devour it completely.
Haedn: "This is really good."
Peter: "Right." *to Miles* "I'm listening."
Miles: "The other Peter? He said he would be showing me the ropes."
"Wow."
Miles: "And since both me and Haedn are here, you got any Spider-Tips for us?"
Peter: "Yeah, actually. Disinfect the mask. You're gonna need to use baby powder in the suit; heavy on the joints. You don't want any chaffing."
Haedn: "... anything else?"
Peter: "Nope."
Haedn and Miles: "You're gonna be a bad teacher..."
Peter: "Eh. Look up where Alchemex is."
Miles takes out his phone and searches it up. He reads the info aloud.
"A private, technological campus in Hudson Valley, New York."
Miles gasps as he smiles.
"You can teach us how to web-swing on the way there! Pssh! Pssh!"
Miles makes a sound effect of web-shooters, making Peter chuckle before laughing.
•••
Instead of web-slinging, Miles and Peter are seen sitting on a bus as Haedn stood up, holding onto a bar on the bus roof.
Peter: "I would swing into the Hudson Valley, but not after a hardy burger for breakfast! Rest your legs. You two will thank me later."
Later, the three Spiders get off the bus and get into gear. Peter took off the coat he was wearing while Miles took off his backpack and shoes. Haedn, however, just pulled down his mask and pulled his hood over his head and cracks his neck.
The three stood in heroic poses for a moment before Haedn and Peter noticed that Miles was wearing a yellow cape.
Peter: "And it's a no on the cape."
Miles: "Well, I think it looks cool."
Haedn: "Eeehh..."
Peter: "Take that off. It's disrespectful."
He grabs the cape and pulls it off of Miles, making him fall forward and into the snow.
Peter: "Spider-Man doesn't wear a cape."
Haedn chuckles a bit before the three walk up to a rock, seeing the Alchemex lab in the distance.
Miles: "So, how do we retrace Peter's steps?"
Peter: "Well... that's a good question."
Peter gets behind the rock and begins to think, holding his chin in thought as Haedn and Miles watch him.
Peter: "What would I do if I were me?"
Miles slowly copied Peter, holding his chin in "thought" as Haedn and Charlotte look at him and snicker to themselves.
Peter: "Got it! Step One: I sneak into the lab. Two: Find the head scientist's computer--"
Miles: "That lady with the bike is the head scientist. I saw it in this documentary at school."
Peter: "... cool! Step Three: I re-examine my personal biases. Step Four: I hack the computer."
Miles: "It's not really hacking if it's--"
Peter: "Not now! I just lost my train of thought. Step Five: Download the important stuff when I see it. And Step Six: I grab a bagel from the cafeteria and run!"
Peter finishes his "plan" as he uses a nearby tree to stretch.
Haedn: "And what do me and Miles do?"
Peter: "Uh... Step Seven: You two stay here. Very important."
Miles: "Look, man! You gotta teach us how to do Spider-Man stuff, or we're not gonna be able to help you."
Haedn: "Yeah. We want to help. Help us help you!"
Peter: "Alright." *cracks back and swings away* "Watch and learn, kids! I'll quiz ya later!"
Peter swings away, making his way towards Alchemex as Miles and Haedn watch him.
Miles: "Why did we get stuck with the janky, old, hobo Spider-Man?"
Haedn: "Dude, I don't think he's the best out of the others, but at least he isn't the worst."
Miles: "There's worse?"
Haedn: "Do you want Man-Spider instead?"
Miles raised a brow in confusion before realizing what Haedn meant.
Miles: "Oh. Oh! No! Nope! I'm good with the hobo."
Haedn laughs a bit.
"That's what I thought."
Charlotte: "So... are we actually going to just stay here? That's boring."
Haedn looks at Charlotte and then looks at the ground in thought before turning to look at Miles with a smile.
Miles: "What? Why are you smiling?"
Haedn: "We're following him."
Miles: "Wait, but he said to stay here, and--'
They heard the sound of a car nearing, both of them turning to see a big black car driving up to the entrance. Out walks a few guys, one of them in a black suit with weird skin. The other?
He was huge. All muscle, no fat. Both Haedn and Miles instantly recognized him as Wilson Fisk.
Miles and Haedn: "Kingpin/Fisk."
They drop down behind the rock they're hiding behind.
Miles: "Yep. We're going after him. We need to help him."
Haedn: "Gee, great idea. Wish I thought of it."
Miles rolls his eyes and he and Haedn take off running, going after Peter. They crawl to the roof and enter the ventilation system, going down but Miles crashes down on top of Haedn. It makes a loud banging sound, getting Fisk and Big Man's attention as they look up at the vents. However, they shrug it off and walk off.
Haedn: "That was way too close, Miles."
Miles: "Sorry. I'm still not good at this."
Haedn sighs.
"It's fine. You good, Charlie?"
Charlotte: "I'm fine. Nearly got crushed, though."
Haedn: "Okay. We're all good. Let's go get Peter."
Miles nods and follows Haedn through the vents, calling out for Peter as they crawl through. Haedn then accidentally bumped into Peter's... butt, making Miles bump into his.
Haedn: "Peter?"
Peter: *turns head* "What the...? Haedn? Miles? What are you two doing here?"
Haedn: "Fisk is here! We came here to warn you!"
Charlotte: "Can you be a bit quieter? We're trying to sneak around, not get caught."
Haedn: "Can you stop being so judgemental?"
Charlotte: "I'm not being judgemental! I'm trying to help you!"
"Uh... Haedn?"
Haedn and Charlotte look forward to see Peter looking at him weirdly. Then Miles spoke up.
Miles: "Are you fighting with a spider?"
Haedn stays silent before chuckling nervously.
"... maybe? Heheh."
Peter: "Right... Okay, you two go back outside. Now."
Miles: "No! I can't stand by and watch Spider-Man die without doing anything about it. I'm not doing that again!"
Haedn: "... well, that's traumatic."
Peter just looks at Miles in shock, confusing him.
Miles: "What?"
Peter: "Everybody that I've ever met in the workplace usually wanted to kill me, so... you kids are a nice change of pace."
Haedn: "Wow. I think that's the first compliment you've given him."
Peter: "Shut it."
A voice suddenly drew everyone's attention, making the three Spiders look through the vent to see what was going on.
"Ah, Mister Fisk! Take a look at the data."
A female scientist, presumably the lead scientist, with curly hair says and Wilson Fisk walks up to a computer.
Lead Scientist: "I know you can't really understand it, but I'm really good with numbers."
The scientist types in her password, Peter watching and memorizing it easily.
Peter: "And... I got the password!"
Lead Scientist: *turning computer to Fisk* "Mister Fisk, if we fire again this week, there could be a black hole under Brooklyn."
She pulls up a picture of glitched buildings on her computer.
Lead Scientist: "See this? And this? This is multiple dimensions beginning to cross and..."
As she spoke, Peter made a "blah blah blah" motion with his hand, seemingly bored.
Haedn: "I would say I'm surprised to hear this, but Spider-Man goes through this on the daily."
Peter: "Watch. He's gonna say, "You have twenty-four hours"."
Fisk: "You've got twenty-four hours!"
Peter looks at Miles and winks at him, making Haedn chuckle a bit as the scientist and Fisk leave the lab, the scientist saying something about the space-time continuum.
Peter: "Oh, that's bad. I actually think what she said was bad. I was lying before."
Peter then opens the vent and falls through it to the floor, Haedn crawling out of it via the roof and falling to the floor as Peter flips over the desk and to the scientist's computer. He begins typing away as Miles struggles to crawl out, seemingly stuck to the ceiling light.
Haedn: "Uh, you okay there, bud?"
Miles: "I can't move... I can't let go!"
Haedn: "Uh... Charlie, what do we do?"
Charlotte: "Tell him to relax his fingers. That always helps new-born spiders learn to crawl."
Haedn: "Right." *to Miles* "Charlie says to relax your fingers. Try something that calms you."
Miles: "Something that calms me..."
Miles begins to think before humming the lyrics to "Sunflower" by Post Malone (I probably didn't spell his name right).
Peter: "Are you... humming?"
Miles doesn't answer as he continues humming, slowly un-sticking from the ceiling light before crashing down to the floor.
Peter: "... teenagers are the worst."
Haedn: "Uh, Peter? Do you see Miles anywhere?"
Peter: "No." *hops over desk* "Kid, where'd you go?"
Miles: "I'm right here."
Peter: "Where? We can't see you."
Haedn: "Wait... wait, wait, wait! Miles has optical camouflage. He can turn invisible if we're going off the comics of your world."
Miles: "Seriously? Can any Spider-Man turn invisible?"
Peter: "I don't think so."
Peter says as he pokes his finger anywhere and hits Miles in the eye, making him flinch away.
"Ah! You poked my eye!"
Peter: "It's like some kinda fight or flight instinct."
Suddenly everyone's Spider-Sense goes off, making them turn to see the lead scientist making her way to the lab. Haedn and Peter turn to Miles, only to see him vanish again.
Peter: "Remember this password: DGFAMPSAD$$$$3587534545935 (You have no idea how hard this was to write), and download everything onto the Goober."
Peter pushes the Goober into Miles invisible hands.
Miles: "I don't wanna do that!"
Peter: "Haedn and I will use the natural charm all Spider-Men have."
Haedn looks at Charlotte in confusion.
Haedn: "Natural charm"?"
Charlotte shrugs as the door opens, revealing the lead scientist as she looks shocked to see Peter and Haedn.
Lead Scientist: "... two Spider-Men?"
Peter turns to the scientist, feigning shock.
Peter: "Oh! Hey! Didn't see ya there."
Haedn: "This is a super bad idea."
Haedn whispers to Peter who quietly tells him to shut up.
Lead Scientist: "Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God! I'm kinda freaking out right now! I mean, Spider-Man is supposed to be dead!"
Peter: "Surprise!"
The scientist suddenly grabbed Peter's mask, shocking him as his face is revealed.
"Th-that's a no-no. We don't like that."
The scientist then grabbed Haedn's mask and lifted it up, revealing his face as well.
Haedn: "Hey! Don't you know why people wear masks?"
Lead Scientist: "This is so fascinating."
She grabs Peter's face.
"Okay, that's my face."
Lead Scientist: "You're an entirely different Peter Parker." *turns to Haedn* "And you. You're not even a Peter, are you?"
Haedn: "Uh, no, I'm not."
Lead Scientist: "Right. You're kinda short, though." *to Peter* "And you a bit of a gut. Perhaps from interdimensional warping."
Peter: "Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I was way flatter before I warped."
As the scientist was distracted by Haedn and Peter, using their "charm", Miles was still typing away the password. But he forgot the last two digits and goes for help.
Miles: *turning computer around* "Hey!"
He whistles to Peter who was still being examined by the scientist like a science project. Then he gets an idea.
Peter: "Hey, how old are you? Because you don't look a day over thirty-five!"
Miles puts in the numbers, unlocking the computer only to find countless folders and files.
Miles: "?!"
Back with Haedn, Peter, and the scientist, she pushes the two into some chairs that clamp down on their arms, holding them in place.
Lead Scientist: "Don't worry, this'll only pinch a bit. I just need to get some samples."
She puts a swab in Peter and Haedn's mouths, taking them to a microscope to examine them.
Lead Scientist: "Cellular decay... I've never seen anything like this."
Peter and Haedn turn to see a still invisible Miles holding the computer and the CPU as he tries to escape unnoticed.
Peter: *whispering* "What are you doing?"
Miles: *also whispering* "I'm just taking the whole thing."
The lead scientist turns back around to face the two Spiders.
Lead Scientist: "And obviously, you two have been glitching."
Peter: "Glitching? No."
Both he and Haedn glitch for a bit, which was less painful than before.
Haedn: "Dude, we literally just glitched."
Peter: "I know! Shut up!"
Lead Scientist: "If you stay in this dimension any longer, your bodies are gonna disintegrate. Do you know how painful that would be?"
Haedn: "Um... pretty painful?"
Lead Scientist: "You're right. And I, for one, can't wait to watch it happen."
Everyone freezes, both unnerved and confused.
Haedn: "Um... what?"
Peter: "What did you say your name was?"
Olivia: "Dr. Olivia Octavius."
She drops her lab coat, revealing her suit to Haedn and Peter as four tentacles emerge from her back.
Two lunge at Haedn and Peter's throats, slamming them into the floor with grunts.
Peter: *strained* "Can I assume your friends call you Doc Ock?"
Doc Ock: "Actually, my friends call me Liv. My enemies call me Doc Ock."
Haedn: "Miles! Go!"
Haedn web-shoots the button that opens the door Miles was standing in front of, allowing him to escape as both Haedn and Peter and thrashed around in the lab.
As Miles runs through the hallways, he sees Haedn and Peter get slammed into the walls. He then runs into a blonde scientist and turns around when he hears Haedn and Peter get thrown through the glass wall. Miles turns invisible again and makes a run for it, the scientist looking back at him as if she knew who he was.
Peter and Haedn then get tossed into the hallway Miles was running through again, the two quickly joining him as they run.
Peter: "Okay, I can tell you the good news." *takes and throws monitor* "We don't need the monitor--WHOA!"
He gets grabbed and pulled away, leaving Haedn and Miles in shock. Miles then turns invisible again as Ock walks into the hallway.
Doc Ock: "Oh, you two didn't tell me you had an invisible friend!"
Miles and Haedn take off running away from Ock, the mad scientist chasing after the thirteen and fourteen-year-olds.
Miles: "Peter!"
Peter then shoots a web at the boys, pulling them to him as they get dragged underneath Doc Ock. A door closes on her, blocking her from the three Spiders as only one tentacle gets through and falls short to get the three.
The trio then makes a run for it, running into the cafeteria to see that it was filled with scientists.
Peter: "Oh."
Haedn: "Well... this is awkward."
Peter: *to Miles* "Bet this would be a good time to turn invisible."
Miles: *still visible* "Yep. Sure would."
Peter: "Okay, not gonna go invisible." *turns to the bagels* "Selecting a bagel... yoink!"
Haedn: "Alright. Now, just act casual. Like we didn't just steal from them."
The three then walk forward, passing some scientists when one spots them.
Female Scientist: "Spider-Man?"
Peter: "Heh. Isn't that funny? I get that a lot."
Miles and Haedn: "Hey."
"IT'S SPIDER-MAN!"
All of the scientists stood up and grabbed their suitcases, turning them into laser cannons and aiming them at the three Spider-Amigos.
Miles: "Uh... can your comic book knowledge help us with this?"
Haedn: "Uh, yeah, actually."
Peter and Miles look at Haedn for a response before he fires a webline at a window, pulling at it as he is sent flying forward.
"RUN!"
Peter: "Okay. Trade!"
Peter hands Miles his bagel and takes the CPU, running off as Miles follows him. They all run outside, the entire cafeteria chasing after them.
Peter: *hands Miles a web-shooter* "Time to web-sling! Just like I taught you!"
Haedn and Miles: "You never taught us to web-sling!"
The two say as Miles fumbles with the web-shooter.
Peter: "I didn't. It's a little joke. Team building exercise!"
Miles nearly drops the web-shooter but catches it in time. Peter takes it and slams it down on Miles' wrist, shooting a webline and pushing him off the balcony.
Peter: "Time to fly!"
Miles screams as he soars through the air, Peter following after him as Haedn leaps from the railing and shoots his own webline.
Miles: "AAAH! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO DO THIS!"
Miles exclaims as he fails through the air.
Peter: "Everyone knows that the best way to learn is under intense, super-dangerous situations!"
Haedn: "That's such a terrible but true statement!"
Miles and Haedn then ran into a tree, letting go of their webs and falling down to the snow. Haedn tried to catch himself, succeeding when he stabs something into the tree bark. He pulls out his hand, revealing a sharp object poking out of his wrist that seemed to be made of bone.
Haedn: "What the...? A Spider Stinger?"
"HAEDN!"
Haedn looks down to see Miles running from some scientists, laser bolts firing and missing him as he does his best to dodge.
Haedn: "I got ya, Miles!"
Haedn said and pushed himself off the tree, diving down below before firing a web to a tree and swinging as he catches Miles and brings him up into the air.
Miles: "Thanks, Haedn!"
Haedn: "No prob!"
Haedn said as he continued to swing with Miles in his arms. Then Miles' eyes widened in fear.
"BEHIND YOU!"
"Huh?"
Haedn peeks behind him to see trees being torn down to reveal Doc Ock chasing after them.
Doc Ock: "Come back here, little spiders! I wanna play!"
Haedn: "That woman is insane!"
Haedn stated as he began to think of a plan. Then he got one.
Haedn: "Miles, do you trust me?"
Miles: "What?"
"Do you trust me?!"
"Of course!"
Haedn: "Good! Now swing!"
Haedn grabs Miles' arm and tosses him forward, making him scream before he fires a web and swings forward.
Miles: "What are you doing?!"
Haedn: "Buying you time!"
Haedn says and lets go of his web before firing another one, using his momentum to turn toward Doc Ock.
Haedn: "Hey, Doc! I'm ready for my check-up!"
He raises his feet so that the bottom of them are aimed at Ock, effectively kicking her in the face and sending her back some. Haedn laughs to himself, can't believing that actually worked before a tentacle grabbed him and pulled him over to Ock.
Doc Ock: "Do you have any idea who you're messing with?! Spider-Boy?"
Haedn: "One, I'm thirteen! So it's Spider-Teen to you! And two, Yeah! A walking mountain!"
Haedn uses some sudden brute strength to rip his arm free from the constraints of the tentacle before a "stinger" grows from his wrist.
"And a feminist octopus!"
Using the stinger, Haedn cuts the tentacle holding him in half and then fires a web at the ground. He pulls at it and pulls himself to Ock, stabbing her in the arm with his stinger before kicking away from her, sending her to the ground.
Charlotte: "Yeah! Good thinking, Haedn!"
Haedn smiles at this as he web-swings away, Ock scowling as she watches him leave. She tries to stand up and chase after him, only to collapse back to the ground.
Doc Ock: "Oh, boy..."
Back with Haedn, he smiles as he spins in midair without a web, yelling in excitement before firing another webline and swinging forward.
Haedn: "Holy crap! I just took down my first villain!"
Charlotte: "Yeah! Go Haedn!"
Haedn continues to smile.
"Alright. Let's go find Miles and Peter."
Haedn swings away, only to find the two other Spiders on the ground. He swings to them and lands on the snow.
Haedn: "You guys okay?"
Miles: "Yeah. We're fine."
Peter: "Where were you?"
Haedn: "Oh, y'know. Swinging around, discovering a new power... and I also took down Lady Octopus for you guys."
Peter: "Seriously? That quick?"
Miles: "His new power must've helped him."
Haedn: "Yeah. It did. I can make this "stinger" grow from my wrist. It's super sharp, and it has a paralyzing poison laced on it."
Peter: "That sounds like Kaine..."
Haedn: "Yeah. Anyway, let's get outta here, kay?"
Miles: "Right!"
However, before they could leave, a girl in a white and black Spider-Suit falls down onto one of the branches above and gets everyone's attention as their Spider-Sense goes off.
"Hey, guys."
Peter: "Who are you?"
She pulls off her mask, her hood falling back to reveal a girl with Caucasian skin, blonde hair, and blue eyes.
Miles: "Gwanda?"
Gwen and Haedn: "It's Gwen."
Gwen looked at Haedn in confusion.
Gwen: "How'd you know that?"
Haedn: *groans* "I'm from a world where all of you are fictional superheroes. And yes, you're popular."
Gwen: "Ooookaaaaay?"
Haedn: "Great. Now, get to the part of the story where you introduce yourself and explain how you got here."
Everyone raises their brow in confusion.
_________________________________________
Alright, people. Let’s start at the beginning one last time. My name is Gwen Stacy. I was bitten by a radioactive spider. And for the last two years, I’ve been the one and only Spider-Woman. You guys know the rest.
I joined a band. Saved my dad. I couldn’t save my best friend, Peter Parker, so now I save everyone else. And I don’t do friends anymore, just to avoid any distractions.
And one day this weird thing happened. And I mean like really weird. I was blown into last week. Literally. I landed in New York, but not my New York. My Spider-Sense told me to head to Visions Academy. I wasn’t sure why, until I met Miles.
_________________________________________
Miles: "I like your haircut."
Gwen: "You don't get to like my haircut."
Even Haedn cringed at that, feeling sorry for Miles as it seemed the two seemed to know each other.
Gwen: "Now, come on!"
Gwen fires a web and swings away as Miles pulls down his mask.
Miles: "How many more Spider-People are there?"
Peter: "Save it for Comic-Con."
Peter tells Miles as he swings away as well.
Miles: "What's Comic-Con?--WHOA!"
He gets pulled by one Peter's web, Haedn smiling as he follows them.
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