YOU'RE THE FUCKING WORST, STEFAN.

Klaus Mikaelsson thought that Clementine Donovan was being an unreasonably grouchy kidnapping victim. But every time she complained or made a snarky comment that he'd have killed others for, he found himself smiling secretly to himself.

"Honestly, hiking in a party dress?" Clem was complaining. She had her heels from Elena's birthday party in her hand, walking barefoot through the woods. "You're barbaric, Klaus."

"Most think I'm barbaric because of the way I pillage and murder, but sure, making you prance about in uncomfortable fashion makes me just as evil," he said, rolling his eyes.

"This is about as pleasant as seven years in a psych ward," she grumbled.

Klaus raised an eyebrow. "Psych ward?"

"Do you even research the people you kidnap?" she questioned. "Steffy didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what, Steffy?" Klaus asked, mocking him with the nickname.

Stefan had been quite silent, carrying an unconscious Ray over his shoulders. "Clemmy's the town crazy. She screamed vampire and witches as a child then burned a bridge down at eleven and got sent off."

"You burned a bridge? What on earth compelled you to do that?" he asked, genuinely wanting to know how the girl thought.

"Got a vision," she shrugged. "It was made from this old oak tree. You know, the wood was really light colored — almost white."

All the color drained from Klaus' face as he realized what she was saying. Stefan was clueless, of course. "That's not possible."

"T'was very possible," she said simply.

"Why would you do that?" he asked, tilting his head. Why would anyone but his family get rid of White Oak?

Clementine just shrugged, meeting his blue eyes that weren't glaring at her for once. "Like I said. You die, Caroline dies."

"And me," Stefan cut in.

"Yeah, and Squirrel Breath," she added, making Klaus snicker. "Though I guess he's Human Breath now. Speaking of—"

"Ow!" Stefan said as Clem pinched his neck hard. "What was that for?"

"For Andie!" she exclaimed, raising her voice. "She already had to deal with you sexual predator brother using her for her body and then you went and made her kill herself. I get it's in your nature to eat people, but you're the fucking worst, Stefan."

Rather than reply, Stefan just rolled his eyes and kept walking ahead of them. Klaus smirked at the brooding vampire. "You okay? Is Ray getting heavy?"

"I'm fine," he muttered.

"You sure about that? You know, we've been walking for quite some time now. If you need some water or a little sit-down," he teased.

"I could use some water and a sit-down," Clementine interrupted.

"Not now, love," Klaus said, a smile on his face.

"But my feet hurt," she whined. "Can't you show off your hybrid strength and carry me?"

Klaus turned to face her and reprimand her, only to see the pouty expression on her face. He felt himself caving as he stared into her sad, blue eyes.

"Get on my back," he muttered under his breath.

"What?" she asked, tilting her head.

He sighed and looked away from her. "Get on my back."

Clementine beamed, and Stefan watched in disbelief as the big bad hybrid gave the human a piggyback ride. She wrapped her arms around his neck and hitched her legs around his waist, him effortlessly keeping her up.

"You, my good sir, are great at this," Clem complimented. "Almost makes me not mad at you for killing me."

"You know, I get that we're, uh, we're stuck together, but if we could maybe just skip the chitchat, it'd be great," Stefan said bitterly. "And the bonding between you two. I don't like it."

"So much brooding. Your self-loathing is suffocating you, my friend," Klaus said before turning his head to look at Clem. "Isn't it suffocating."

"Oh, you should read his diaries," she snickered. "Enzo and I snuck into his room once and read them. If you think this is bad—"

"Thank you, Clem," Stefan sighed, cutting her off. "And it looks like we're here."

Stefan was right. They found the pack's camp, all of them getting ready for the full moon. Stefan entered first, dropping Ray on the ground. A woman quickly rushed over, a horrified look on her face.

"Ray! Oh, my God. What's going on? Who are you?"

Klaus set Clem on her feet before joining Stefan. "The important question is who am I? Please forgive the intrusion. My name is Klaus."

Her eyes went wide, clearly recognizing him. "You're the hybrid."

"You've heard of me," Klaus said, smiling. "Fantastic."

☽︎

Silence fell over the camp, and Klaus was quick to fill it with the sound of his own voice. Clem thought he liked to hear himself talk.

"It's fascinating, actually," he bragged. "A werewolf who isn't beholden to the moon, a vampire who doesn't burn in the sun. A true hybrid." Then Ray woke with a gasp. "Excellent timing, Ray. Very dramatic."

Ray looked around frantically, all of his senses heightened. "What's happening to me?"

"Stefan?" Klaus said ignoring Ray.

Stefan got up and looked around the camp. "Are any of you human? Your friend here needs human blood to complete his transition to vampire. If he doesn't get it, he will die."

"Doesn't take much, just a sip. Anyone? A boyfriend, a girlfriend, along for the ride?" Klaus added.

Clementine frowned. "Klaus, I told you that it takes Elena's—"

"I'd like to test that, love. Can't just take your word," he said simply before looking at one man in particular. A human. "You!"

Klaus raced to the human and bit into his forearm, making him scream. Then Stefan grabbed him and threw him to the ground in front of Ray. The woman from earlier protested, but Klaus held her back, strangling her.

"If you don't drink it, Ray, I will. Problem is I don't know how to stop," Stefan said casually.

And Klaus looked at the girl in his arms. "It's the new order, sweetheart. You join us, or you die."

"I'd rather die than be a vampire," she said, seething.

"Wrong choice," he said, forcing her to drink his blood as Ray drank from the human. "She'll thank me for that later." Then Klaus snapped her neck, letting her body drop. "Okay, who's next?"

"Very dramatic," Clementine said, rolling her eyes. She didn't understand why he didn't just ask if anyone wanted to be a hybrid. After all, so long as it wasn't forced on him, she knew Tyler would much prefer it. There had to be other wolves that felt the same.

Soon, the whole camp was unconscious, in the middle of transition. Ray was nearby, sitting on a rock and holding his shivering body — he looked just as Clem expected. "They're dead. They're all dead," he muttered, horrified by the sight.

"Ah, he's through his transition. He should be feeling better soon," Klaus noted before glancing at Clem, who shook her head.

"So is this your master plan? Build an army of hybrid slaves?" Stefan asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No, not slaves. Soldiers, comrades," he specified.

"For what war, might I ask?"

"A big one," Clementine spoke up, earning a curious look from Klaus. He was dying to know everything she knew. He wanted to know why she didn't seem to hate him in spite of everything he'd done.

"Oh, you don't arm yourself after war has been declared, Stefan. You build your army so big that no one ever dares pick a fight," Klaus told him.

"What makes you so sure that they'll be loyal?"

"They will be," Clementine sighed. "They will have a sire bond."

"Handy," Klaus said, raising an eyebrow. He hadn't been certain about that. "And besides, it's not difficult to be loyal when you're on the winning team. That's something you'll learn once you shake that horribly depressive chip off your shoulder."

Stefan laughed sarcastically. "That's why you're, uh, you're keeping me around? To witness my attitude adjustment?"

Klaus came over to Ray, sitting next to him and taking in the blood that was dripping from his eyes. "You'll know why I'm keeping you around when I've decided that I want you to know."

"I know," Clem said teasingly, making Klaus huff.

"Something's wrong," he said, ignoring her.

"That shouldn't be happening, should it?" Stefan asked.

"Well, obviously," Klaus snapped.

"Just give him Elena's blood," Clem muttered, looking at her nails.

"Well, I don't have Elena's blood," Klaus sighed, making her look at him like he was stupid.

"Why not?"

"I thought you were lying to keep her alive. I left the blood in the cooler in the car," he said, avoiding eye contact.

"God, you dumb bitch, Klaus!" she exclaimed.

He looked at her with wide eyes. "What did you dare to call me?"

"A dumb - bitch," she said, enunciating her words. "Just like that day in class. Who would think Watergate was in the sixties? He wasn't even president."

Klaus shut his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. "Don't kill her. Don't kill her. Don't kill her."

"You said it was gonna feel better," Ray interrupted them. "Why doesn't it feel better?"

"Some master race," Stefan said under his breath, earning a glare from Klaus.

"Lose the attitude," he ordered before grabbing the human, dragging him to the woman who was waking up. "Derek, come feed your girlfriend."

Clementine went back to looking at her nails, failing to notice the way a starving Ray was eying her. Stefan noticed a moment too late, and Ray was on her, tackling her to the ground. But he couldn't even bite her because her neck landed on a rock when she fell, snapping from the force.

Realizing his prey was dead, Ray ran off. A stunned Klaus and Stefan looked at Clem's dead body, neither knowing what to do. So, Klaus looked at Stefan then nodded after Ray.

"Go get him."

☽

︎

"Fucking finally! You're back!" the voice of Kai Parker sounded as Clem materialized in the shopping mall where he was running around. "How'd you eat it this time?"

Clem groaned and threw her head back. "Got knocked over and neck broke."

"Damn, that's kind of embarrassing," Kai snickered. "Wanna go bowling?"

"I can't pick up a ball," she reminded him.

"Wanna watch me bowl?"

Clementine shrugged, matching his excited smile. "Sure."

☽︎

Night had long since fallen in the camp, and Klaus was surrounded by dead, failed hybrids — and Clementine's body. Stefan, who'd failed at getting Ray back alive, walked to the camp with him slung over his shoulder.

"They went rabid," Klaus said as Stefan dropped the body. "Some of them, I killed. The others just... bled out. In the end, they're all dead. Clementine was right."

Klaus screamed and threw a beer bottle at the ground as it shattered. Though he knew what he had to do now, he was still furious. Even from the grave, his mother was ruining his life. And if not for the currently dead human at his feet, he'd be at a loss.

After a few more angry moments, Klaus took in a deep breath and looked at Stefan, who'd been bitten by Ray. "You look like hell."

"Last I checked, I'm dying, and you don't want to heal me," he muttered, seeing how Klaus was looking at Ray's body. "I had to take him out. I didn't have a choice. I failed you. I'm sorry. Do what you have to do."

"Why does it have to be her blood?" Klaus asked, kicking the dirt. Then he turned and grabbed an empty beer bottle. He bit into his hand and dropped some of his blood into the bottle before handing it to Stefan. "Bottoms up. We're leaving. It appears you're the only comrade I have left."

"What about Clem?" Stefan asked, looking at his friend.

Klaus furrowed his eyebrows. "She's not coming back a third time, mate. The Seers dead—"

Clementine sat up quickly, a gasp escaping her throat. "Kai, you're cheating—" She cut herself off, seeing that she was no longer in the prison world. She was back in the woods with Klaus and Stefan, as well as a bunch of dead hybrids.

Stefan rushed to her side and helped her sit up. She groaned and rubbed her sore neck.

"Don't tell anyone about that. That was definitely the most mortifying way to die."

☽︎

Stefan and Clementine were in the same hotel room, which was connected to Klaus' by a shared bathroom. Everyone washed the dirt and blood off of them, and Stefan compelled some food for Clem before eating the delivery person.

"Here," Klaus said, entering the room with a bundle of clothes in his hand. "To cease your incessant complaining."

Clem beamed up at Klaus, who hated the sight of her smile because of how it made his chest feel warm. She took the large t-shirt and pair of boxer shorts from him, glad to have something other than her dress to sleep in.

"So, where to next, Little Seer?"

She raised an eyebrow at the nickname. "Are you going to follow my advice for once?"

"I suppose," he said while rolling his eyes childishly.

"I'd say Chicago," Clem shrugged. "For one, Stefan deserves his memories back."

"How do you even know about that?"

Clem just grinned and tapped the side of her forehead. "And second, Gloria's there."

"You said not to trust Gloria," he recalled. "Why seek her out?"

"To kill her," she replied simply. "I think she's working with a witch on the other side who wants to kill all vampires."

Klaus narrowed his eyes. "What witch?"

"Let's just say that after a thousand years, your mother is still pissed the fuck off."

Klaus rolled his eyes. "Of course, she is."

"Don't underestimate her just because she's dead, Klaus," she warned in a soft tone. "You're gonna need your family to bring her down."

He looked away stubbornly, refusing to talk about his family with a stranger. "Just get to bed. And if Stefan tries to take a nibble in his sleep, scream."

"Awe, Nik," she said with a sarcastic grin, "it's almost like you care."

He eyed her for a moment before leaving the room, muttering under his breath. "Something like that."