A/N: Omg hello love, I'm so sorry that this took so long, again!! This month have been quite busy and I kept having trouble to write, :( Anyway, it's here now! Though, this chapter is the shortest I've written in a while, it's less than 15k but I hope you're not too disappointed about that. :p

Thank you so, so much for waiting, and for all the lovely comments! Sorry I haven't replied to all of them yet. I'm still working on it, there were so many!!

Sorry if this chapter is a little bad! I haven't really been able to write lately.

Warning: Please be aware that this chapter contains miscarriage. If you are easily affected by it, you can choose to skip the part where I'll put a star, skip the chapter, or proceed with caution.  

Enjoy the chapter, darling! Xxx

IMPORTANT: I was nominated for The Stylinson Awards under the Triplets category. So if you'd want to and if you have time, feel free to vote for me. All you have to do is leave an inline comment "Yes" where my story is listed. Voting is closing soon! I hope you'd vote for me. ❤️ You can do so here StylinsonAwards

---

"A flower bloomed already wilting. Beginning its life with an early ending."

- R. J. Gonzales

It's still pouring, the rain barely ceasing, and Edward is still driving. He's been in the car for an hour now, and he's starting to lose hope. He takes one of his hands off the wheel and reaches for his phone. Edward slows the car down before stopping by the roadside, pulling up Zayn's contact and dialling for him.

It takes a while before Zayn answers. "'Lo."

"Zayn." Edward says, quiet. "I fucked up."

He gets a scoff. "And you've only just realised that?"

"Can I come over?" Edward asks, hoping that somehow Louis is there. It's a miracle he desperately needs right now, even though he doesn't like the possibility of Louis really running away to Zayn.

He needs to sit down and rethink his life choices.

Zayn doesn't reply right away, so it's not a no. "The door's not locked." He mutters a minute later, and then he hangs up.

Edward drops his phone and wastes no time to put the car into drive and speeds away.

He arrives at the Malik-Payne's within five minutes, cutting the engine and throwing the door open once the car stops. Rain instantly pours on him the moment he climbs out, and Edward is drenched by the time he's under the roof.

Zayn opens the door in silence, staring at him warily. It's a little surprising to Edward that Zayn hasn't strangled him yet. Though, Edward makes no move to go inside, and Zayn stands by the frame as if he won't let him come in, anyway.

"What did you do, now?" Zayn asks, his arms crossed. It's clear that Edward is not wanted inside or anywhere on the compound.

"Is he here?" Edward questions back instead of answering what Zayn enquired.

The black haired Alpha frowns, his arms falling to his side as he pulls away from the frame and saunters towards him. "What?"

"Is he here?" Edward repeats, waiting with bated breath.

"Why would he be here, Edward!?" Zayn snaps, his hand coming up to point a finger at Edward. "What happened? What did you do?"

Edward stays unmoving from his spot, letting Zayn approach him with that deadly look in his eyes. "He ran away from home." He explains in a quiet voice.

Zayn sees red, his arm already pulling back and then his fist collides with Edward's cheek, no word or any warning whatsoever. Edward lets the punch forces his face to the side. Zayn does it again, punching him until he is thrown to the floor. In any other situation, Edward would never let any other Alpha get away from laying a single finger on him like this. But the person behind his fall is Zayn, his own best friend who was there for his Omega when he wasn't. Zayn's knuckles probably hurt.

"You don't deserve him." Zayn spits, anger and disgust filling his expression. "He deserves so much better."

Edward makes no move to get up, staying where he is on his arse on the ground. Zayn looms over him, gritting his teeth and wishing he could deliver another punch to his best friend's face. "I know." Edward says.

"Get up, Edward." Zayn orders in a low voice.

Edward obeys, climbing onto his feet. The moment he stands on his height, Zayn grips his collar and drags him close.

"You will go home, and you will wait for your brothers to be back. Then call me. I'll be right over with Liam and Niall." Zayn hisses, then shoves him back. "Am I understood?"

"Zayn.." Edward calls softly. "I'm sorry."

"Save all your apologies for the person who deserves them the most." Zayn turns his back to Edward, starting to head back into the house. "And even then, I hope he won't forgive you."

---

"Did he say anything to you?" Harry wonders to his brother, unable to sit still in the car with how anxious he is to see Louis again. He's been calling the Omega since he landed, but there was no answer for every single call. Louis was supposed to come and fetch them, but he wasn't in the back seat when the car arrived. Harry had been disappointed, but now he's slightly worried.

Marcel frowns, fishing his phone out of his pocket and unlocking it to see if there's any new message from Louis. The last thing he got was Louis telling him he and Edward were about to have dinner last night. "No. He didn't say anything."

"Maybe something came up." Harry says, shrugging. "Can you call Edward, just in case?"

"I think he's already on the flight to Dubai." Marcel murmurs, but he does as Harry requested. The call rings, but there's no answer. Marcel tries again, and it rings for a few seconds before going into voicemail. "He's not answering, either."

Harry's forehead creases, wondering if something happened. It's rare that Edward doesn't answer his phone. It's always with him when he's supposed to be working.

Marcel clasps a palm onto his shoulder as a gesture of reassurance. "Don't think too much about it, babe. I'm sure Louis will be waiting for us at home."

Something inside Harry makes him doubt Marcel's words.

When they arrive home, the door is not locked. Marcel frowns at the handle and the parted door, then looks at Harry worriedly.

Did someone break in? The question is clear on each of their faces.

Marcel's face clears, his eyes shifting back to the door before he looks at his brother again. Harry understands the look even without a single word said, and he crouches down to place his bag on the floor, making sure it doesn't thud as it touches down.

As he pushes the door open, Marcel makes sure it doesn't make any noise as to not alert anyone if the house is indeed broken in.

He toes off his shoes, Harry doing the same next to him. They push the footwear to the side before listening intently for any unusual sound.

Marcel leads the way as they walk further into the house, optimising their stealth so their footsteps are silent.

The youngest triplet stiffens when he detects Edward's scent near the living room. He's slightly confused now, wondering why Edward's scent is still so strong although he should've left hours ago. Harry seems to notice it too, and they both slowly make their way towards the scent.

They find Edward in the living room, taken aback by the sight of him sitting at the sofa with his face buried in his hands.

Marcel carefully approaches him, already having a bad feeling in his gut at the fact that Edward is here and regret is radiating off of his hunched figure. "Edward..?" He calls softly, exchanging worried glances with Harry as he takes a seat next to the Alpha. "I thought you've left for Dubai?"

Harry moves with quick strides to kneel down in front of Edward, gentle when he grabs his brother's wrists. "Edward? What happened?"

Edward takes a deep breath, then he lifts his face up.

"Baby, what's wrong?" Marcel whispers, reaching his hand out to cup Edward's jaw and guiding him until their eyes meet. Horror fills his expression at the bruise forming on Edward's cheek. "What happened to you? Where's Louis?"

Edward stares at him.

"Louis left."

---

"Jesy, come on. Please." Perrie pouts, her arms hanging off of her Alpha's neck while she begs. She's came to visit Jesy at the hospital, wanting to be with her when she's free from any work she needs to do. She's currently trying to have Jesy to agree to a tropical vacation. It's a conversation they've been having since the past two months. They haven't had one in ages, and Perrie missed having Jesy to herself.

"Alright, fine, you cheeky girl." The Alpha finally gives in, grinning and kissing Perrie on the lips. "We'll go."

"Yeay!!!" Perrie cheers, pulling back and doing a happy dance. A moment too late, she notices where they are, and quickly halts her movement to latch herself to Jesy's side so she can hide her face at her Alpha's shoulder in embarrassment.

Jesy laughs, patting her back while she grins at the people watching.

It should be a bit inappropriate for them to be so loud and happy at the emergency department, but the people waiting in the hall can't help but be amused at Perrie's antics. They could use the enlightenment, they need it.

All of a sudden, a loud buzz sounds in the hall, and a shiver goes down Perrie's spine at the noise. Then two nurses appeare around the corner, pushing a bed along while shouting at people to make way so they could come through.

Jesy moves without wasting another beat, her and a few other nurses hurrying to help the escort. "What happened?" Perrie hears her ask.

"Pregnant Omega, accident." Is the only thing her colleague tells her.

Perrie watches from the side as they pass, her eyes falling to the face that belongs to the person on the bed, covered in blood. She almost fainted. "Louis!!"

---

"Niall's coming over." Marcel grumbles to his brothers.

They're seated at the living room, the one nearest to the entrance hall. Harry is crying, while Edward is pacing back and forth in guilt. Marcel watches them, and he feels so much anger at Edward for putting them in this situation. And yet, he knows that he and Harry are to blame too. None of them should have left in the first place. Louis leaving is a fault of them all.

It doesn't take long before the doorbell rings.

Marcel leaves to open the door with a brooding expression, his posture weak and slumping. It's different from how he usually is, that it takes Edward back in time to when Marcel used to be introverted and quiet, fading in the background. He's become such a better man now; and Edward will curse himself to death if Marcel goes back to how he used to be because of what Edward did.

He took Louis away from them.

He pushed Louis away when Louis wanted to stay, and left him for abandonment when he was begged to stay.

Edward doesn't think he can ever forgive himself.

Harry looks up when Niall and his husbands walk in, wondering why exactly they're here. But then again, he doesn't really have to.

It's the first time the triplets see a furious expression on Niall's face. The Omega looks really scary with venom in his eyes, as if he's only a few seconds away from tearing the triplets limb by limb.

"Niall, what is it?" Edward asks, wondering if the Omega has got any information involving Louis.

Niall blinks, shifting his gaze to Edward. "I don't know, Edward. Why don't you tell me?"

Edward's expression hardens, as if Niall had just breached sensitive topic.

"What actually happened, Marcel?" Liam tries to keep his voice steady as he addresses the Alpha, hoping Marcel would start explaining.

The youngest triplet crosses his arms. "Edward and Lou had a fight."

"What did you say, Edward?" Zayn's angry eyes flash over to the mentioned Alpha. "What could you say to make Louis run away like that?"

Edward blinks, remembering the slap Louis left on his cheek. He deserved that too. He deserved worse. "I.. I accused him of sleeping with you."

There is a momentary silence in the room.

And in a flash, Zayn is all over Edward, ready to beat him to a pulp. "You fucking bastard! How dare you have the nerve to say such things?"

"Za-" Harry tries to warn, worried about the way Zayn is holding his brother, but Marcel stops him from saying anything.

"I took care of him when you didn't. You left him when he begged for you. Do you even know how much he missed you when he's with me? Do you know how much he cried because of you?" Zayn couldn't take it anymore, so he delivers another punch to his friend.

"Zayn!" Harry finally calls out, horrified.

"He calls for your name every time he sleeps." Zayn clutches his temple, as if he's having a hard time believing that Edward honestly thought Louis would do that to him. "He was so in love with you, but you took him for granted, Edward."

Edward isn't even trying to fight when Zayn tugged at his collar again.

Liam and Niall are quiet, but Niall looks like he would jump on Edward and kill him once Zayn is done with him.

"Which car did he take?" Zayn growls, ready to go out and look for Louis. Edward is useless when he's like this.

Edward shuts his eyes, as if he's in pain. "He didn't."

It takes a moment for that to sink in.

"He literally ran away? In the rain?" Zayn snarls.

Edward has never looked so helpless. "I tried looking for him, but he's nowhere to be found. That's why I called you."

Zayn snarls again, but the sound stops halfway through. And then he's pushing Edward down. Zayn steps back, beckoning Niall to have at it.

The Omega is panting with how angry he is, his hands twitching. "You mean to tell me, that Louis is out there, with no phone, no car, and probably dying somewhere in the rain?"

Harry starts crying.

"I'm going to kill you. I'll kill you!"

Zayn and Liam widen their eyes, quickly moving in when Niall attacks all of a sudden. The Omega has leaped onto Edward, securing his arms around the Alpha's neck.

Harry screams as he rushes over to grip at Niall when his brother starts choking. "No, Niall!"

Marcel is so shocked by what's happening that he doesn't move.

They succeed peeling Niall away, but even then, the Omega is thrashing and screaming. He's also crying as he struggles against Zayn and Liam's hold who are gripping him tightly to make sure he doesn't try to attack again. Only then does Marcel move, getting to his brother to check on him.

Harry is sitting next to Edward, crying in relief when his brother can breathe again. His arms are wrapped around him, and Marcel kneels at the other side with an undecided face.

"How dare you! How could you do that to him!" The Omega sobs, his attempts getting weaker and weaker. "Louis deserves everything. He deserves better. How could you?"

Edward looks down, clearly disappointed at himself.

"If anything happens to Louis or the baby, I won't forgive you. You hear me?!" Niall shouts.

The triplets widen their eyes as their gazes snap over to Niall. Edward jumps onto his feet, gaping. "Wha-What baby?"

Liam shakes his head, wondering how they could be this oblivious. "You seriously hadn't the slightest idea?"

Zayn almost wants to laugh at the absurdity of the whole situation.

"Lou's pregnant."

Edward looks like he's been slapped. "He-He didn't tell me."

"He wanted to wait until you three are home." Zayn says coldly, wanting to pour salt all over Edward's wounds. The Alpha deserves it. "But of course, you're never home when he needs you to be, aren't you, Edward?"

"Li.." Edward looks up at his friend, trying not to let what Zayn said get to him. "When he was throwing up so much... was it..?"

Liam nods. "He already found out by then. Made every one of us swear not to say a word. Even the Betas know."

"Even the Betas know.." Marcel repeats in exasperation, throwing his hands up.

Edward says nothing, still in shock.

Niall has calmed a little, but he still looks like he'd kill the triplets if they come too close to him. "Get out there. Right now. Don't come back until you have Louis with you."

---

Click. "Hello." Niall speaks into the phone.

"Hi, Niall, right?" A shaky voice asks.

He falls silent for a moment. "Yes, it is him speaking. Who is this?"

Perrie sniffs, wiping her tears when they fall. "It's Perrie. I, I don't know if his Alphas are in the country or not. That's why I called you." She takes a deep breath, then starts sobbing.

"Hey, hey, come on. What's wrong? Perrie, right? Aren't you one of Lou's friends?"

"Yeah." She croaks, pushing her hair back from her face. "Um, Lou, Lou's been in an accident. Could you come?"

---

Louis' head is pounding when he rouses awake. The touch of consciousness makes him hyper aware of the pain gripping everywhere on his body, causing a small whimper to escape from his mouth before his eyes even flutter.

"Doctor!" Someone calls. Though, the sound is getting farther away, letting Louis know that the person is leaving the room.

His eyes feel so heavy but Louis fights to let his lids open. The first thing he sees is blinding light, and he groans, quickly shutting his eyes again. He blinks slowly, trying to make his vision clear after the abuse in his eyes.

After a few tries, he's finally able to take in his surrounding. The room is fairly quiet, everything is white and there's a beeping sound somewhere to his left. Other than that, he only hears faint sounds of voices and ruckus somewhere in the distance.

Louis lets his eyes fall shut for a few seconds before opening them again, his vision becoming crystal clear and he slowly lifts his head. He stares at the room, but only for a moment before he has to rest his head back again. The pain overwhelms him and he whines, gripping his temple.

Slowly, the ache subsides and he carefully blinks in the room again.

He's in the hospital.

Louis lies there, trying to think of what happened and why he is there. His breathing is shallow, and it hurts every time he inhales.

The memory of the recent events hits him hard, as if someone just dumped a bucket of iced water all over him. He wishes he doesn't remember.

He shuts his eyes, all the pain in his body feels nothing compared to the one in his heart.

Someone knocks on the door, and his sad, blue eyes shoot straight to the source of the sound in time for a middle aged Beta woman to step in. Trailing behind her is a blond girl who is very familiar to Louis.

"Perrie." He croaks weakly, his voice coming out rougher than he expected.

There's also an unmated Alpha in the room with the two and Louis frowns, immediately feeling uncomfortable. It must have shown on his face because Perrie immediately walks to his side and turns to the Alpha.

"Could you please wait outside?" She's polite when she asks, giving him a professional smile. Louis visibly relaxes once the door closes after the Alpha's departure, melting into the bed and giving Perrie a tired smile. "You have five seconds to tell me why you're here, Tomlinson." She threatens him.

Louis laughs quietly, his throat a little sore. His chest tightens and he starts coughing, making the pain even worse. "Well, I think I got hit by a car." He squeaks, a hand placed on his chest once he's able to speak.

"Yeah, at least you remember." She sighs, bending down to drop a kiss on his forehead. "What happened?"

Louis glances at the doctor who is yet to say a word, just standing by his bed and staring at him. He's glad that Perrie is here with him. It puts him a bit at ease, knowing that he has a familiar face. Louis wants to answer her question, but he has other things to make sure of before he can sit still where he is. "Did you tell my A- .. them?" He questions, slightly panicked. No, he doesn't want them to come. He doesn't want to see their faces, doesn't even want to think about them. But first he needs to be certain that his Alphas have no knowledge of him being here.

Perrie's face is taut, and she slowly climbs on to sit next to him. She knows who he is talking about. "No." She shakes her head, reaching out to wrap an arm around him and pull him close. It's obvious how Louis is much more relaxed after hearing that, and all signs of anxiety leave his body.

Louis lets out a sigh of relief, eyes cast down.

"Thought so." Perrie whispers. "They wanted me to, though." She shares a look with the doctor when Louis flinches upon her mentioning them. "But I told them not to."

Louis listens with a nod, then he grabs her hand. "Thank you."

"Would you like us to contact your Alphas now, then?" The doctor finally speaks up.

He pales, shaking his head repeatedly. "No."

The doctor frowns. "Are you trying not to be found by them?"

"You can say that."

The doctor glances at Perrie, then she's looking at him again. "Are you in an abusive relationship, Mr Tomlinson?"

"No!" Louis grimaces, as if the idea itself disturbs him. "They would never."

"Mr Tomlinson, we are trying to help. You can tell us anything." The doctor tells him, hoping he would open up so they can take the action they need.

"I'm telling the truth." Louis urges, his heartbeat rising.

"It's alright, we won't contact anyone." Perrie speaks up to distract him so that he won't start panicking about his Alphas again, her hand rubbing up and down on his shoulder. "I did call your mother, though. And Niall."

Louis turns to her and smiles.

His friend stares at him, her head slightly tilted. "Would you tell me what happened, please?"

He shuts his eyes, not wanting to be reminded. "I was running, in the rain." He manages to stutter out.

Her thumb rubs against his skin, soothing. "Why were you running in the rain, love?"

Tears start to gather at his waterline. "I ran from home." He sniffs, pressing a fist to his eyes as he keeps his head down.

"Wh-Why?" Perrie asks in disbelief.

"He was leaving again, Perrie." Louis takes a deep breath, and it succeeds in stalling his tears from falling. "He accused me of sleeping with Zayn."

-*-

The female Omega gasps, shocked. "Lou..."

"I was so hurt, I just wanted to get away. I didn't even want to take one of their cars. I wanted to leave without anything of theirs." He loses in the battle against his tears. "I only have..." Louis' hand goes to his belly, and he finally remembers. "My baby." His eyes open wide, and they snap over to his friend as he tenses up. "Is, am I, is my baby okay?"

Perrie's face falls, and her teeth has her lower lip in hostage. "Lou..." Her hand not around him reaches over and clasps over his palm. "I'm so, so sorry..."

"No!" Louis slowly shakes his head, disbelieving. There is denial in his eyes, unwilling to take her answer. "No." He repeats, the tears that are already falling down his face getting faster and fatter.

"They didn't make it, Lou." Perrie's voice cracks.

Louis is already sobbing, the pain in his chest be damned. He wills himself to glance at the doctor, hoping for a different answer. "Please." He pleads, wanting her to tell him that it's just a joke. He'd take the joke, he'll take it any day over the truth. He can't lose his baby. He can't.

"I'm sorry, Mr Tomlinson." She ducks her head, sighing heavily. "You were carrying triplets."

The Omega makes a high sound in his throat, close to a whimper. His lower lip is trembling, eyes stung with more tears. Three, three babies. That's three times the loss. For a moment the shock and heartache overcomes him that he almost can't breathe.

The doctor remains calm even though Louis has started heaving on the bed, Perrie holding him and trying to keep him still. "Triplets have always had higher risks compared to a single baby." She pressed her lips into a tight line. "You took a big impact. They didn't make it. I'm really sorry."

"No. No no no." He sobs, pressing his hands to his face while Perrie tries to hush him. Her arms curl around him, holding him, hoping to give him what he needs to be calm. But he starts crying so hard that his whole body is shaking. "No!" The Omega shouts in agony.

One moment he's thrashing in her arms, screaming and crying at his loss, and the next second his screaming stops and he's limp against Perrie.

"Louis!"

-*-

When Louis comes to again, someone is stroking his hair, making him hum - despite his sore throat - and lean into the touch. The gesture reminds him of his mother; how she'd always do this when he was a child. He remembers how it felt like to be resting his head on her lap, her hand in his hair while he cried. Whenever things used to go bad, that's one of the ways she'd use to comfort him. Although it's not that significant of a gesture, it'd always make him feel better, make things better.

He also remembers Perrie and Eleanor's tendencies to play with his hair. In uni, they've always hung out on the grass whenever they don't have class, and he'll have his head on Eleanor's lap and she'd complain about the amount of product he put in his hair, but her fingers will always toy at his strands. And Perrie was that annoying person who'd playfully tug at his hair and it hurt but the way she'd laugh when Louis scolded her never failed to put a smile on his lips.

But he also remembers how it'd send a shiver down his spine when Harry played with his hair to wake him up, or how he always acted nonchalant despite his racing heartbeat whenever Marcel did the same when they're in the library. And how gentle Edward's hand that loved pushing his hair back, just to have a reason to touch him, how loving his eyes were whenever he looked at Louis.

Louis stiffens, his eyes slowly fluttering open.

He doesn't know who he wants to hope for.

It's inevitable to be a little disappointed when no green eyes meet him, but there are identical blue eyes staring back at him; so Louis isn't let down at all.

"Hi, honey." His mother greets softly, dropping a kiss on the crown of his head.

"Hi, Mum." He croaks, reaching up to grip her arm as her lips linger.

"How are you feeling?" She asks once she's pulled back, resuming her touch in his hair.

Louis doesn't even have the energy to shrug. "Like shit."

Her reply is a small, sad smile.

He seems to realise something, and jerks up. He hisses when it affects his chest. "Who's taking care of the girls?" Louis wonders, frowning. "Shit, I'm sorry you have to come down here."

"Lou, don't worry about it. The girls are with Perrie. I didn't want them to come see you yet, might be a handful."

Louis nods, understanding. "I'm sorry you had to travel so far."

"I'm here, that's what matters, yeah?"

"Mum.." He says carefully, his lower lip quivering as he stares into the loving eyes of his mother. "Could you give me a hug, please?"

"Oh, my Louis. My lovely Louis." She says with a little crack in her voice. In less than a minute, she has him wrapped up in her thin arms, holding him close. Louis has never felt more loved, never felt safer.

He isn't ashamed to bury his face at his mother's neck and starts sobbing quietly. He clings to her shirt, his body shaking with all the sadness and pain inside he's letting out, turning them into salty tears that shower down his face and smear across his mother's skin.

"Oh baby." She coos, voice laced with tears of her own.

"I.. I-I just.." He tries to speak but his emotions take over again, yanking him under the waves of his tears.

"Shhh, it's okay, baby. It's okay. I'm here."

He spends a few minutes just crying and sobbing in his mother's embrace, grateful for her presence.

She pulls back when his tears subside, wiping at his cheek even as he's sniffling, struggling to breathe. "My baby, I love you so much."

"I'm sorry, Mum." Louis says again, keeping his head down.

"Whatever for, Louis?" She asks, shocked that he keeps apologising.

Louis focuses on his breathing for the moment, inhaling and exhaling until he's calm enough to handle the pain and speak without bursting out crying again. "I.. I should've never quit my job and leave everything for them. I'm so stupid Mum. And now.." He sucks in a huge breath. "And now I have nothing to give you anymore. I can't help you anymore."

Jay hugs him again, careful not to be too tight. "My darling William, you didn't leave everything. You never left me, baby. Not once. Even when you're with your mates, you never forget me Lou. You're the best thing to ever happen to me and you haven't stopped being one." She shifts a little on the bed so that she could be closer. "Please stop feeling that way."

She can't say anything about the lack of reply she receives from him, knowing that it's going to take so much more to convince him. So she lets it slide, trying to convey how much he means to her in the form of gentle touches and passionate embrace instead.

"Do you want to tell me what happened, baby?" She asks softly, leaning back against the bed and letting Louis curl into a ball and fitting himself by her side. The weight of his head on her shoulder is barely felt and she pulls him closer.

Louis whimpers.

She hums softly, letting him take his time while her fingers run gently across his hair, barely touching the light strands but her presence is there.

Louis knows he could never hide anything from his mother if she's there in front of him, ready to see through all of his bullshit. So he can't lie. And as much as he doesn't want to burden her with his problems, he desperately needs to talk to someone about it. And there's nobody else he would want to have the conversation with except the woman who birthed him. A person who knows him inside out, who's never spent a minute not letting him know how much he's loved, someone who could never disappoint him.

So he reluctantly opens his mouth and starts talking. He tells her everything, right from the start. About how Harry and Marcel left, and how Edward kept leaving, and how he's left all alone. He tells her how much he hurt when he's the only one in the huge house, and how Zayn took care of him. He told her how Edward and him kept fighting and what happened before Louis ran, what Edward said.

And she listens to every word without anything to add while he talks. She listens intently, giving every bit of her attention and Louis is reminded how much he had missed her.

By the time he's finished talking, he's crying again but his tears are silent this time. And Jay wastes no minute to get him into her arms again, wishing she could whisk him away from all the troubles and pains of the world.

"I'm so sorry, baby." She says quietly. "I can't believe he said that. You would never do something like that Boo, I know you." She squeezes him once. "But it's not your fault that they left."

"It doesn't feel so."

"Darling."

"I already lost them, anyway, Mum." He protests weakly, an exasperated breath heaving out of him. "I don't know where I'm going to go anymore."

Jay tsks softly. "Don't say that. I'm sure the triplets are worried sick of you right now." She says, both hands on his cheeks.

"I don't think so. I don't think they're even looking for me right now." He sighs, shrugging.

"What makes you think that?" She prompts, patient with her child's behaviour.

Louis expresses his disappointment in the shake of his head, his fringe swaying side to side on his forehead. "What Alpha would want an Omega whom he thought slept with another Alpha?" His voice shakes, his body shuddering in his desperate attempt to fight off another wave of tears. He succeeds, mostly, but it all goes to waste when he pauses before sobbing. "God, I lost my Alphas."

Jay is at loss for words, so she presses her cheek to his head, hushing him.

Louis pulls back and starts wiping his tears away, his eyes too red and swollen to hide the fact that he's been mourning too much under such a short time. No sight has ever broke Jay's heart this much.

-*-

"Mum...?" He calls slowly, the single word breaking her heart with how much he's hurting.

"Yes, darling."

"I was pregnant."

Jay's mouth drops open. "Was pregnant? Was... as in..." She trails off.

"I lost them." Louis whispers. "I lost my babies."

Jay's eyes start watering too. "Honey.."

"I lost my babies. I lost everything." His voice almost doesn't sound even in the quiet room.

"That's not true. You didn't lose everything, baby." She tries to comfort him, but it's not exactly working since both of them are crying. "But Lou, I'm so sorry."

Louis shakes his head repeatedly, muttering over and over again under his breath. "I lost my babies. I lost my babies."

Jay pulls him close, until his face is pressed at her neck, and he's still muttering those words against her wet skin drenched with his tears. She holds him until he doesn't make any more sound, until he's fallen back asleep. Only then, she lets her tears fall freely and sobs at the thought of Louis' loss, at the thought of her own loss.

-*-

There is a knock on the door, and before Louis could even guess who it'd be, the room is already filled with three more people.

"How did you find me?" Is the first thing Louis asks, mouth dropping open.

Niall's eyes tear up, and he rushes his steps towards the bed. "Perrie called me."

"Lou..." Zayn sighs, looking at the bandage on Louis' head, the wounds he has on his arms. "How are you feeling?"

Louis shrugs, trying to lighten the situation but he can't even bring himself to smile.

Niall reaches out to hug him, and Louis clutches onto his friend, trying hard not to cry again. He appreciates that his friends are here, giving him the support and love that he needs. But at the same time, Louis knows he wants nothing more than to be in one of his Alphas' arms.

Louis is hurt. He is hurt beyond words that nothing could describe how much pain Edward inflicted upon him with what he said. And not to mention what Louis went through with his Alphas leaving him. But the loss of his babies is affecting him the most, and there's no one he would rather have to grieve with him than the triplets.

But Louis can't do that. He can't simply just let them get away with what they did. Louis can't put himself in that position. He's weak, vulnerable. If his Alphas make an appearance and offer him comfort, Louis would surely just take them back with no questions asked. He can't see them, not yet.

"Did you, did you tell them?" Louis asks, a little panicked. What if they did? How would Louis protect himself, then?

"No." Liam replies, shaking his head while he gives Louis a sad look.

"We wanted to come and see you first." Niall explains, brushing Louis' hair back.

Louis relaxes in Niall's arms. "Thank you."

"What happened?" Zayn asks, worry plastered all over his face as he walks closer to the bed. Even Liam looks concerned.

Louis shrugs again, this time with a smile, though humour doesn't exist in his expression. "Got hit by a car. Yeah, not exactly the best day of my life."

Zayn frowns disapprovingly, and Liam just looks horrified. "Where did you get hit?" Zayn asks, curious.

"Not really sure." Louis tries to recall. "The last thing I remember is running past that signage with that big smiley on it."

Niall gasps. "Lou, that's quite far from home!"

Louis stares at him, void of emotions.

"What did the doctor say?"

"Broken ribs. It was quite a hit. And my head has a little cut, not to mention the wounds." Louis sighs.

Liam looks even more worried now, shuffling closer to Louis. "Is your baby.." He trails off.

Grief overcomes the wounded Omega, and Louis shakes his head as he avoids their gaze. It's so easy to start crying when it comes to the fact that Louis lost three lives that were growing inside him, ones he took so little time to fall in love with.

Niall makes a sound of disbelief, and he turns to Jay for confirmation. The woman shakes her head too. "Lou." He blurts out, and then he's crying too. Niall has already gathered Louis in his arms, almost sitting on the bed to hold his friend tight.

"Shit." Zayn whispers.

Liam closes his eyes and lowers his head, taking a deep breath.

"The-They were triplets." Louis stutters through his sobs, his hands gripping onto Niall. "I was going to have triplets, Ni."

"Oh, Louis." Niall whimpers, feeling his own heart clench for Louis' loss too.

Liam buries his face in his hands, saddened as if they were his own children.

Zayn huffs in anger. "I'll kill him. I'll fucking KILL HIM!"

"Zayn." Niall calls out disapprovingly, his tear stained eyes glaring at his husband. "Lou is already upset."

Zayn looks like he wants to continue throwing dirt at Edward's name, but he doesn't, for Louis' sake. "Sorry." He says instead, though his hands are still clenching and unclenching by his sides.

"What did the doctor say?" Liam repeats, this time referring to the babies, and his voice breaks a little. It makes Louis cry harder, needing more time to calm down before he can speak.

The Omega wipes at his eyes regardless of the fresh tears determined to pour down his face. "The pregnancy is more risky, cause they're triplets." He presses his lips together. "And now they're gone, Li. My babies, my babies are gone."

Niall engulfs him into a tighter hug, and then he feels so much warmer. It takes him a second to realise that there are two extra pairs of arms around him, drawing him into a group hug. And he cries harder, because he wishes the embrace he's being held in belongs to the three people that had stolen his heart and broke it all apart.

---

"I told you."

"Harry."

"I told you, Edward. I TOLD YOU!"

"Harry, please! Calm down!" Marcel raises his voice, giving his brother a stern look, one that Harry ignores. The middle triplet's gaze is set on Edward.

The eldest Alpha has his hands clasped with his elbows rested on his knees, head facing down. He's in deep thinking, grieving and dwelling on regret.

"How can I calm down, Marcel? Louis is out there, alone! Who knows what would happen to him?" Harry protests, looking at Edward as if he's ready to attack his brother.

Marcel sighs. "I know, Harry. But-"

"He's pregnant, Marcel." Harry reminds him, his voice cracking. "He's carrying our children, and he's out there, alone."

Marcel falls silent, as if he has only remembered now, the truth slapping at him.

"How could you, Edward?" Harry starts crying, trying to storm over to him but Marcel holds him back. "How could you say that to him?"

Edward doesn't move an inch regardless of how loud Harry is screaming at him, he doesn't even look like he's breathing. He's as still as a statute, locking himself in within his thoughts.

"He's the greatest thing to ever happen to us, and now he's left, and it's your fault!"

That pulls a reaction out of Edward. His head snaps up, and he grows to his feet. "My fault?!" He glares at Harry. "Don't speak as if you didn't leave when he begged you to stay, too."

Harry pauses, and horror fills his eyes when it finally occurs to him. "I did." He whispers, growing weak against Marcel. "I left him. I left him when he wanted me to stay." He buries his face into his hands. "He probably just wanted our attention because he's pregnant, and we abandoned him."

"Harry.." Edward sighs, disliking the sight of his brother being upset. "We didn't know he was pregnant."

Marcel releases Harry and turns to give Edward a disapproving look. "He deserves attention whether or not he's pregnant, Edward. He's our Omega, his happiness is our responsibility."

"And we failed to carry that out." Harry says.

Edward stares at his brothers, then he takes a deep breath. "I'm going to look for him."

"Again?" Harry asks.

"Edward, we've looked for hours."

After Niall and his husbands left, the triplets went out to look for Louis even though deep down they know how useless it would be, and yet they didn't want to sit around and do nothing. Each of them had taken a different car. They drove around asking people if they've seen Louis, and yet every single answer they received was negative.

"I know." Edward mutters, starting to walk away. He'll look for Louis, just in case he decides to come back.

"Don't leave, please." Harry pleads, not wanting them to be separated while all of them are vulnerable like this.

Edward's body slumps, and he regrets every single moment he walked away when Louis asked him to stay.

The Alpha drops to the ground onto his knees, body shaking with anger and sadness. He hears crying, and for a moment he thinks it's himself, but then Harry is wrapped around him, and tears start soaking into his shirt. Marcel joins them a second later, and Edward has never felt more like a disappointment to his brothers.

---

"Zayn talked to the guy that hit you." Niall says.

They're both on the bed. Jay had left with Liam and Zayn to get some food. Niall wanted to stay, to keep him company. Louis is really grateful for this, a time just for them both to talk. He hadn't really got the time to sit down and have a heart to heart with him.

Niall had shamelessly patted his hip and urged him to move so he could climb on and cuddle Louis. No one really stands a chance against Niall.

"And?"

"His name was Ben Winston." Niall murmurs, wrapping an arm around him. "He brought you here right after he hit you. Perrie told me the man looked so worried. He probably felt really guilty." He looks over to Louis. "He already talked to the police. You should probably think about getting a lawyer for this matter, to make a claim, you know."

Louis nods. "Okay." He lets out a heavy sigh. "I'll talk with my mum about it, later."

"I'll help you. I'm sure Liam has a lawyer friend."

Louis nods again, laying his head against Niall's shoulder. "Thank you, Ni."

"No problem, Lou." He pats Louis' shoulder, then stiffens up. "We should talk."

"About what?"

Niall nudges him back gently so he could look Louis in the eye. "About what happened."

"I don't-"

"What Edward said was out of line." Niall cuts him off. "He's an idiot."

Louis shrugs half-heartedly, already tearing up again. "Maybe I'm the idiot."

"Why are you saying that?" The blond asks, confused.

"I let them do that to me, Niall. I let them hurt me." He shakes his head, as if in disbelief of his own previous actions. "I should've tried harder to do something."

"Like what?"

"I don't know."

"Lou, it's not your fault." Niall tries to say.

The wounded Omega blinks. "I know it's not my fault, Ni." He snaps.

"Louis.."

"This wouldn't have happened if Edward would just listen to me and stay. I only wanted him to stay, so I could have them all together, and I can tell them that they're going to be fathers." Louis' vision starts blurring again, and he can't even see the worry etched on Niall's face anymore. "And now," He gasps through his tears. "And now my babies are gone. It's his fault. It's all his fault."

Louis starts sobbing, repeating that it's all Edward's fault.

Niall stares at him without making a sound, at loss for words. He doesn't know what he can say that would make Louis feel better.

Edward is to blame for Louis running away, but it wasn't Edward's fault that Louis got hit. And he understands that Louis is greatly hurt by the loss of his babies, and he needs a person to point a finger at for it happening, and that person just happens to be Edward.

"He doesn't love me anymore, Ni." Louis wails, hugging his arms around himself.

That snaps Niall out of his reverie. "Of course he still loves you, Lou." He murmurs, using his fingers to brush Louis' hair back.

"Well, then he has a shitty way of showing it to me."

---

Louis' flinch is violent on the bed when Jay walks in. It isn't her that caused him to reach like that, but it's the person who steps in after his mum. It's Anne. He hasn't expected her presence at all.

For a moment, he's almost scared that the triplets are going to appear too. That would do horrible things to his emotions.

"They don't know I'm here." Is the first thing Anne says to him. "I don't know what happened, but Jay told me not to contact them."

Jay takes a seat on the sofa, and Anne heads straight to his side. Louis has relaxed at her words, but he's still apprehensive, especially when she sits on the bed and touches his hand. "What happened, Lou?"

At first, Louis doesn't really want to tell her about it. The triplets are her children, after all. She might not believe him, or she might take their side. But Jay urges him to, and with a heavy heart, Louis opens his mouth.

Jay helps him tell the story, and by the time they're finished, all of them are crying.

"He said that?" Anne whispers in disbelief, referring to Edward.

"I wish he didn't." Louis' voice is too quiet, but Anne heard him anyway.

The woman gives him a sad look, already reaching out to hug him. "I'm so sorry."

"You weren't the one to break my heart." Louis shakes his head, but he buries his face into her neck.

She holds him tighter, can't even think of the fact that her own child had hurt this Omega. Even Harry and Marcel kept leaving him, and Anne feels like she's failed.

"Anne..." Jay starts, looking at Louis before she glances to her friend. When Anne is looking at her again, she takes a deep breath and drops the bomb. "The babies didn't make it.."

The woman almost faints. She weakly turns to Louis, a devastated expression on her face. "Yo-You were pregnant?"

Louis keeps his head down as he nods, unable to bear even more sadness.

Anne bursts into sobs, and Louis is taken aback by the action that he's unable to do anything but gape at her. When the situation catches up with him, he gently pulls her back into his embrace. He can't cry anymore, exhausted and worn out, but the pain is still as fresh as ever.

"Oh, Lou." She pulls back to cup his face, her wet eyes searching his face as her lower lip trembles. "Was it because of the accident?"

He grasps her hand, squeezing it once in confirmation. She sobs louder, pressing her palm to her eyes.

"Anne..." He calls in a soft voice, hoping to comfort her.

"My son caused this." She mumbles, sniffing.

Louis offers no reply to those words, but he silently agrees in his mind. His heart clenches in his chest, hands curling into fists. "I don't know if I can ever forgive him, Anne."

Jay watches quietly as Anne shares another hug with Louis, concern written all over her face; not for her son, not for Anne, but for Edward.

---

Nothing can describe the amount of shock Harry has on his face when he opens the front door and his Mum is standing there.

Strangely, she doesn't seem to be in the urge to greet him or even acknowledge him. She walks right in without waiting for his invitation. Harry shuts the door, locking it up before he rushes to follow her.

"Mum..?" He tries calling, his tone suggesting that he's wondering why she's here.

"Who is it, Ha-" Marcel stops in his track the moment he exits the living room, eyes widening when he sees Anne. "Mum?"

"Mum?" Edward parrots in confusion, appearing at the top of the staircase that leads down to the entrance hall.

Anne still hasn't said a word, staring at each of her sons' face. She eyes Edward the longest as he walks down to join them.

Marcel clears his throat when she's been staring at Edward for too long. "What are you doing here, Mum?"

"I'm here to get Louis' stuff."

The triplets stiffen up, crowding up to her. "You know where he is." Edward accuses.

She offers no response, but that's enough for them to figure out that she does.

"Mum, please." Harry begs, desperate. "I need to see him."

"I'm sorry, Harry." She sighs heavily, her face apologetic as she looks at him. "You can't. Not yet."

The despair is so obvious on Harry's face as he latches himself to Marcel, hiding his disappointment into his brother's shoulder where his face is buried. Marcel doesn't hesitate to wrap his arm around Harry, turning to Anne again. "Could we at least know where he is?"

Anne shakes her head.

"Mum..." Edward breathes out, and then he's on his knees. "Please. Please tell me where he is. I need to see him. I need to tell him I'm sorry."

The woman shuts her eyes, knows that he's sorry. But it's too late now. It's not going to change anything.

She almost wants to shove it in his face that his Omega was pregnant, and he's lost his children. But Edward is still her son, and that is between him and Louis. Anne shall not interfere. "I'm sorry, Edward." She bends down, grabbing his shoulder to guide him up onto his feet again. He looks so regretful, and Anne pities him. "He told me not to tell you. And even if you find out where he is, please don't go and see him yet."

"He's my Omega." Edward whispers, longing. "I miss him."

Anne believes Edward is terribly sorry for what he did, and he'd probably do anything he can to redeem himself. She knows her son, he always makes a lot of mistakes, but he's genuine when he's sorry. Though, it's up to Louis to decide, and for now, Louis doesn't want to consider anything yet. He needs time for himself, Anne hopes her children would understand that.

"Give him time." Is all she says before she kisses his cheek, then pulls him into a hug. She offers her free arm to Marcel, and he drags Harry along with him.

---

Harry watches as Anne moves around the closet to pick up most of Louis' clothes, as much as the bag that she chose can hold. Marcel is stood next to him, both of them have their arms crossed, disgruntled.

She folds up everything and shoves them inside. She's about to zip the bag up when she pauses, and then she grows to her feet again.

Anne goes through each of the triplets' section and picks up three jumpers, each belonging to the respective triplets. "In case he misses you." She explains when Harry gives her a questioning look. She puts them inside and finally zips the bag up.

"Mum..." Marcel says as she's about to walk past them to head out.

"Take care, Marcel." She murmurs, kissing his forehead. And then does the same to Harry. "I'm sorry things turned out this way."

When Anne walks out of the closet, Edward is sitting on the bed with his face buried in his hands. Once he hears her come out, he lifts it up to look at her. "Did you take everything?"

"Almost."

"Is he not going to come back? At all?" He sounds horrified by his own words.

She shrugs. "It's up to him, Edward." Anne sets the bag on the floor and moves to stand in front of him, wrapping her arms around his head. Edward shamelessly buries his face at her tummy, sniffing. "I love you a lot, my son. But you need to realise what you're about to lose. Please think about what you've done."

"He means everything to me." Edward's words are muffled against her shirt.

Anne pushes him back a little. "Words mean nothing against your actions."

"I know." He shuts his eyes.

"If he ever feels ready to see you again, you better do anything to make him forgive you. Do it for yourself, Edward." She murmurs, brushing his hair back and staring at his welled up eyes. "I know he means everything to you, so when you have the chance, make sure he knows it."

Edward reaches out for something on the bedside table, and when he hands it over to Anne, she sees that it's a phone. "It's his." He murmurs, letting her pocket the phone.

"Mum?"

"Yes, honey?"

"Tell him that I'm sorry."

Anne nods, kissing the crown of his head before she releases him. And then she's grabbing the bag again and dragging it out of the room.

Marcel and Harry have appeared again by the time the door shuts, and they make their way over to the bed. Marcel looks full of thoughts as he helps Harry climb on, and then he settles in front of Edward, still thinking.

"I'm sorry." Edward says.

"We're not Louis." Marcel replies.

Edward is about to get snappy, but then he takes a deep breath and remembers that Marcel is right. "I'm sorry that Lou ran away, because of me."

"It's no use dwelling on that, Edward." Marcel shakes his head.

"Mum said she knows where Lou is. At least he's safe." Harry mumbles. "I don't think he'd ever want to come back."

Marcel tenses up. "We're bonded." He tries reasoning. "It'll hurt us all."

"We hurt him first, Marcel." Harry shakes his head, bad thoughts trying to overcome him again. "It's not impossible for him to want to break the bond."

His brothers flinch.

Edward slumps even more. "I hurt him the most."

Harry and Marcel don't know where he is going with this, so they stare at him in expectance, waiting for him to continue.

Edward meets their eyes, and then he sighs. "It might be easier for him to forgive you two. But not for me." He presses his lips together to contain his emotions. "I accused him of sleeping with Zayn. I don't think he'll ever forgive me for that."

"He loves you, Edward." Marcel reminds him. "He loves us. It might be hard, but I don't think he won't ever forgive you."

The eldest brother clearly doesn't believe it. He takes a deep breath, and makes up his mind. "I'll leave."

Harry straightens up, his eyebrows furrowing. "What does that mean?"

"I've hurt you before, Harry." He murmurs, reaching out and tucking a strand of hair behind Harry's ear. His eyes scan his brother's face, still feeling guilty for what he did to him, even if it's been years. "And I hurt Louis, the same way, even worse. I might do it again."

"Edward, stop." Marcel groans.

"You can change."

"I can." Edward agrees. "But I don't want to take the risk of hurting anyone again."

"So, what are you going to do?"

"You two and Louis could be happier without me."

"That's fucking stupid!" Marcel bursts. "That's an easy way out, Edward!" He points a finger at his brother, fuming. "The three of us are to blame for leaving him, but you brought us into this mess."

Edward opens up his mouth to speak but Marcel continues, cutting him off.

"Leaving so that you wouldn't hurt anyone, my arse. If you leave, you'll hurt Harry, you'll hurt Louis! You'll hurt me." He blinks. "You'll hurt our children, Edward." Marcel ignores how affected Edward looks. "So, God help me, don't you fucking dare leave."

"He's right." Harry nods thoughtfully, voice timid and quiet. "What we need to do is find the solution to fix this problem, not run away."

"You're a coward." Marcel hisses. Harry gasps at that, and Edward freezes. "If you hurt Louis and you leave without fighting for him and own up to what you did, you're a coward, a worthless Alpha. You're just like those low lives out there."

Edward growls, moving in a dash and grabbing Marcel's arm. "Don't you dare talk about me like that. I'm nothing like them."

"So prove it to us, to Louis. Fix this mess, Edward."

---

Louis is discharged after spending four days in the hospital. He's glad that despite the fact that the triplets kept pestering Anne about him, she still hasn't given in. Louis appreciates that she'd do as such for him.

He silently thanks the man who hit him for bringing him to an expensive, private hospital where privacy is guaranteed. It's mainly because it was the nearest one, but thankfully it does have its benefit. He did worry about how he's going to pay for the expenses before he could make a claim, but Liam told him that it's already been taken care of. Louis flipped out because he can't make Liam do that, but the Alpha convinced him that he wanted to, that Louis is someone he loves dearly in his life. The Omega doesn't know how to repay him.

His sisters cry when they see him and Lottie hugs him a little too tight that it hurts his chest, but Louis feels slightly better to be surrounded by his family again.

Louis is silent the whole journey back to Doncaster with his mother and siblings; all he does is stare out of the window, not really looking at anything in particular. He isn't thinking about anything, either.

When they reach their home, Louis already misses the one he stayed at with the triplets. Not because of the size, but because of the memories and the people. And yet, as he steps in past the threshold, he knows no other home could make him feel as welcomed as his mother's.

Walking up the stairs is a little bit of a struggle, he's wheezing about halfway up. His chest still hurts, and it's a bummer that the doctor said it will take almost a month to heal. But he'll have to deal with it.

The first thing he does when he arrives in his room is to climb on the bed and sleep. He doesn't wake up until the next morning.

When he rouses awake, he has ten messages from Edward, two from Marcel, and two from Harry.

He doesn't read them.

Louis takes a shower, and then he gets dressed, and sits on his bed.

He hugs his knees to his chest, and wishes he could cry. Maybe he'd feel so much better after that, at least it would take some of the pain away. But no, he has no more tears left to shed. So he's left to feel empty and yet his heart is far from void of emotions at the same time.

"Louis, are you up?" Jay knocks softly on the door, and when he doesn't answer, she pushes it open. A small smile carves onto her face when she sees him, not too wide, but genuine.

Louis stares at the tray of food in her hands.

"Have some breakfast, and then you can take your medications." She tells him, placing the tray on the table by the window. And then she moves to sit next to him. "How are you feeling, darling?"

He shrugs. "Okay. I guess."

"Do you need to talk?" She wonders, wanting to have a way to help ease his pain.

Louis shakes his head.

"Do you need anything?"

"I don't know." He breathes. "I don't even know what I'm feeling, Mum."

"Come here, baby." She murmurs, already opening her arms wide.

Louis doesn't protest, willingly going into her embrace. Regardless of how he's feeling, things are alright when he's in her arms.

She wraps him up in warmth, stroking his hair and humming softly. It makes Louis close his eyes and lean on her shoulder, relaxed.

"I can't say that I understand how you feel, because I've never lost a child." She starts, making sure to be gentle. "But I'll be here for you. I'll help you cope, darling. Just hold on, yeah?"

Louis' heart aches, but he slowly nods.

"Just don't shut me out, let me help you."

"I won't." He says. "I just need time."

"Alright, baby." Jay pats his back, kissing his forehead.

Louis sighs, loving it when his mother rocks them side to side, as if putting him to sleep.

He feels a little better after that, and Jay stays with him while he eats before she reminds him to take his medicine. And then Louis goes back to sleep.

---

It's been a week since Louis came back to stay with his mother.

His Alphas still don't know where he is. He's a little amazed that the people who know about it haven't blabbered off to his Alphas yet, but he's grateful. Louis is far from ready to have a desperate Alpha at his door step.

Louis isn't exactly doing okay, he has to admit that. Every time he opens his eyes, he's always so cold and the bed feels so empty. His bed lacks of any warmth, and he's never felt so alone.

He misses his Alphas, he can't deny that. His mark burns every night, almost like a reminder of what he doesn't have. He longs for their strong arms and their comforting scent. But he needs the distance, needs time and space for himself.

If he truly wants them here, all he has to do is say the word, and Louis is certain his Alphas would be on the first flight and arrive at his doorstep within an hour. Anne said that they were pretty desperate, and Louis doesn't know if that makes him feel better or worse. At least he knows that they still care for him.

He's a little doubtful of Edward, though.

What Edward said hurt, even thinking about it now still hurts. Louis doesn't know if he can ever look at Edward and not think of what he said.

He hasn't even read a single text they sent him ever since he came back to Doncaster. Harry and Marcel have tried calling him, and Louis is considering blocking their calls just so that his phone wouldn't ring every three seconds.

Louis feels the loss of his babies every single moment. There isn't a time where he's not thinking about them, of how his children could've been, what kind of people they'd grow up to be. Although he wasn't that far along, the absence has punched a hole inside him, one that feels prominent and he cannot try to ignore.

The days feel like they're barely passing. Sometimes, he wonders if he's stuck in a loop of one day, never moving on to the next sunrise.

His family understands that he needs time and space to recover, so they don't mind when he doesn't even smile at the joke Lottie makes during dinner, or when their questions directed towards him are left unanswered. He sees the concern in their eyes, especially from Fizzy and Lottie, and his mum, but Louis can't bring himself to assure them that he's fine. Because he's not.

---

"Hey..." Jay says, soft as to not to break the comfortable silence the room has. She closes the door behind her and approaches him with slow steps. He doesn't look like he minds that she's here, so she moves to take a seat next to him. "How are you feeling?"

The shrug he gives her is barely half-hearted. "Okay, I guess."

"Do you miss them?" She asks, nervous to anticipate his response. There hasn't been that much progress with him, but Jay doesn't want to make it worse.

Louis hesitates, but then he nods. "Every day, Mum." He sighs, his hand dropping to his tummy. "I feel so....empty.."

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel better?" Her question almost sounds desperate, like she can't stand seeing him like this anymore.

He turns to her in remorse. "I'm sorry, Mum."

"For what, baby?"

"That you're hurting because I am."

Tears spring in her eyes. "Oh, darling." She reaches out and pulls him close. "Never apologise for that. You're my best friend."

"It hurts so much, that I almost feel nothing, Mum." He grits out, his body tensing up. "I've never met them, but it's killing me that they're gone."

Jay tightens her hold, hoping to squeeze his sadness out of him. "I'm sure they would've been lovely."

Louis chuckles, dry but genuine. It's the first time he's laughed in three weeks. Jay squeezes her lips together so the sob she's holding in won't escape. "You would be the worst grandmother, ever."

It's clear that she's crying when she chuckles too. "I would. I'll spoil them rotten."

"You and Anne both." He says.

They fall silent then, but Jay is unable to stop her tears. So she nudges him back gently, wrapping her palm over his cheek. "Lou... I'm worried about you. Anne's worried about you." Her free hand grips his arm. "You don't eat. You don't even smile anymore. I miss your smile."

Louis looks down. "I'm sorry, Mum." He can't keep track of the number of times he'd apologised to her.

"Please don't be." She hushes him. "I just want you to be happy."

"Give me time. I'll be fine."

"How long, Lou?"

"I don't know."

---

A/N: Drop me some comments and a vote if you haven't! Please don't kill me.

Much love,
Rose xx