Pathum’s POV

With many typos, I managed to deliver her the horrific news we got from the call.

She, of course, responded with sympathy.

Scarlet: Keep praying, sweetie. Nothing is going to happen to her. She will get well soon. It’s just that people overreact, and it depends on the capability of their bodies. Your mom might be struggling, but trust me, she will survive and fight for you. She wouldn't just go. She is there to lift you. So stop and quiet your mind; it makes things worse than they are. Dont let that mind own you.

Pathum: I will, sweetie, and please pray too. Tell God to protect my mom, and I will do anything for you and God. Please help me, sweetie; they said Mom would come home if the treatment worked well for her. So please pray that it does. All I want is my mom back : healthy and happpy. 

Scarlet: Of course, and we have been praying, but I think you need some rest too. Your mom will be okay and return as soon as she gets well. You wasted a whole week worrying about things you shouldn’t, so please understand God is always with you to help you cope with anything. But sweetie, I want you to know that you need rest. Your mom will be totally fine. Your neighbours managed to recover before they came home, and so will your mom. She is healthy and God is with her. Trust me and give my family and me time to pray. We will always pray for you and your mom, and God will protect you, sweetie. 

Pathum: I’m scared. Will something happen to her?

Scarlet: No! Dont be scared.

Despite Scarlet’s reassuring words, my thoughts were going haywire, and I was shaking in my seat. I wanted to believe her; I did, but part of me couldn’t. I was so convinced my mom was going to die, and it was going to be because of me. 

She is going to die, all because you refused to do what you were supposed to do. Your mother will be grateful for her son.

Pathum: But look where it has gotten her. Who knows whether her case will get worse in the upcoming days? I’m so scared, Scarlet! 

She’s dying, all thanks to you, Pathum. My mind taunted me as Scarlet typed her next reply.

Scarlet: Sweetie, calm down. Your mom will come home safely. Just trust me, like you did the past week.

Last week is gone; don’t listen to her. What if this week becomes the worst week of your life?

Pathum: I’m praying now that you help my mother. I will do anything in return.

But will praying help? Amidst billions, will God spare His time for you, Pathum? That seems faintly true!

Scarlet: God doesn’t expect anything from you other than for you to be a good man.

I’m weak and a loser. I couldn’t even help my mom with what she asked for.

Pathum: I’m still a boy, though.

Scarlet: A good boy, then.

Pathum: Are you sure my mom is alright? If she had gotten better, she would’ve come home, but she stayed because her condition wasn’t good. Oh, I’m so scared for her. I shouldn't have refused to go to the neighbours. Damn it, it’s my fault.

If I told Mom I would go, nothing would’ve happened. She wouldn’t be suffering in the hospital all alone. I am a piece of shit. A damn loser. It is my fault, mine, mine. Mine! I should be so ashamed.

I looked over at my side table and saw a small, sharp knife, its silver blade shining in the room. The longer I stared at it, the more it seemed to call to me. I was very tempted to pick it up and use it on myself.  

Take that blade and use it. She wouldn’t worry if you’re gone. She won’t be alive to witness any of this so go ahead no one’s stopping you.

Another beep from my phone caught my attention, and it was Scarlet’s reply to my earlier comment.

Scarlet: Please let it go. It happened, so there is no point in repeatedly blaming yourself. Just give up.

Pathum: But she is my mother, and I can’t give up. I would never give up.

What if my mother never comes back home? How am I going to live without her? 

Do you want to live with that pain? You wouldn’t have to go through that pain. You can avoid it, take that blade and do it. 

Scarlet: Gosh, I didn't mean it like that. I suggested that you should give up the fact you’re arguing. Stop blaming yourself and let that ego die. Don't let your mind control you and abuse you. It’s time you use the mind to show you the path of life. Do you hear me, sweetie?

Ignoring her message, I grabbed the blade and placed it on top of my left hand while keeping my phone in my right. I put the blade tightly on my right hand. I forced the blade further. The pain started to arise, but there was no bleeding. I released the blade as it fell while leaving a mark on my hand. 

I grabbed the blade from the counter and placed it on top of my left hand while holding my phone in my right before switching. I pushed the tip of the knife into the palm of my hand. I winced but didn’t see any blood. After a few minutes, I released it, allowing it to fall onto the floor. 

There was now a small, bloodless cut where the knife had been, so I took a picture and forwarded it to Scarlet. Once the picture was delivered, I grabbed the blade but stopped when my grandma came to the room with tea. Even though I didn’t ask her to do it, she still made it.

“I hope your mother’s fine, and someone’s making her tea,” Grandma said once she gestured for me to take a biscuit from the tray she had brought into my room with her.

“Mmmm,” I mumbled.

She leveled me with a stern glare.

“She will be fine. The doctors will take care of her,” she said firmly. 

I nodded in response before she continued with a slight smile on her dark, wrinkled face.

“Speaking of doctors, my dear little son, study well, okay? It’s my dream to see you in a doctor’s uniform. It’s a great profession; saving lives is a noble deed, and you’ll be blessed by the gods above.”

“I doubt I will live long to be a doctor,” I said gloomily. 

Her smile slowly faded, and she looked at me for a few seconds, her expression becoming confused as she stammered.

“Why do you… why? Why won’t you live that long?”

 I could tell by her expression and body language she was unsettled by what I said.

“Because what if mom dies?!” I jumped directly into the conversation rather than going around the topic of death. Startled by my speech, she covered her mouth with both hands.

“Little son, what are you saying? Nothing would happen to your mother.”