. . .

DÍS

. . .

"Dís. You're ice cold."

It was true. She was cold to the bone. It felt like her skin was covered with a layer of ice and she couldn't even persuade herself to look up.

"You two have to go inside. You'll get really sick."

Dís didn't react. She was a dwarf. The cold had been omnipresent in Erebor.

Even though Dís was watching the pale tiles beneath her, she saw that Arwen crouched down in front of her and laid two warm hands on her shoulders.

The fingers of the elf lady reminded her of Famin, the only one who'd ever touched her bare skin. The straps of her dress must have glided down, but she didn't care.

What difference would it make? Her brother and son were missing.

Many had returned. Triumphant or stumbling around. Thorin hadn't been with them and it felt like history was repeating. Soon she would have to bury another loved one.

Dís couldn't bear that. She couldn't lose more people. She knew she had to stay strong for Kíli, but she had no idea how.

Arwen said no more words. The elf woman stood up and with a blank stare Dís looked up, to see how she was left again. If even Arwen wasn't able to deal with her grief, how would she ever be able to manage it herself?

Dís knew she lacked the strength to stand up. She would stay here, waiting until she'd convince Death to take her with him, to bring her back to her family. Where she belonged.

~

The cold was biting her skin. She no longer felt her fingers and toes, which she considered as a good sign. They had peace with her death. She didn't have to stay behind all alone. She had the choice to return to her parents. To her husband. To Fíli and Thorin.

No elf could speak out the words that were itching their lips. Every elf that passed by looked at her, full of pity. Sometimes tears were shining in their eyes, knowing they neither would be able to bear her pain.

They weren't the only ones who felt sorry for her. Even though the tears seemed to have frozen in her own eyes, the heavens were crying with her. Rain drops were soaking her, ever since the moment she'd dropped down here. The heavens told her what the elves couldn't and they wept for the loss of two lives that had meant so much to her.

~

Lately Dís had been trying to learn some Sindarin, but she'd failed this far. Laments arose around her, but she couldn't find out who'd set the tone. Without understanding the words, Dís knew they regretted the end of this night. Nienna had disappointed them, like every god that feigned to care about them. Dís closed her eyes, convinced the magical melodies would lead her to the realm of the dead. Where Famin was waiting for her.

A smile appeared around her lips when she felt two warm arms that were lifting her up, higher and higher. She however panicked when her son was pulled out of her arms. She opened her eyes in shock. It wasn't a supernatural force that had lifted her up, it was Elrohir. His forehead was bleeding and his dark hair was soaked, but his eyes were alert and worried. His arm slid underneath her knees so she felt like a little child, but for a while that was all she wanted. She saw Arwen had taken care of Kíli and she closed her eyes, tired, while Elrohir carried her through the rain and climbed the stairs, until they were greeted by the warmth of the royal palace.

. . .

THORIN

. . .

The sight of the ink black warg with his infernal eyes was so terrifying he was rooted to the spot. All noises were stilled, except the threatening growls of the dark creature.

In fear his eyes shot to Scar, who stared motionlessly at him. He knew his fate was in her hands. Her lips only had to part to express one word and the warg would tear him in pieces.

Scar showed a smile, but the moonlight, her gruesome scar and the monster next to her made it look like an insane grin. "Are you scared of me, dwarf?"

Thorin shook his head. Of course he was, but he wouldn't admit it. He weighed his sword in his hand and banished the fear out of his head. "No," he said with a solid voice.

She gave him a condescending smile and petted the black fur of the animal. "That's foolish."

Thorin glanced at his sword, that he was still holding ready. He sighed and lowered the weapon.

"You saved my life," he reminded her while putting away his sword. "I fail to see why you would regret doing so."

"There have been many times I regretted the things I've done."

Thorin gave her a questioning look, even though he should have known she wasn't going to tell him anything about her past.

"Do you belong to the orcs?"

"Do you belong to the elves?"

It was a question Thorin couldn't answer. Did he belong to the elf community now? He lived among them and they'd done a lot for him, but that didn't turn him into an elf.

"I belong to no one," he muttered in the end. The people he did belong to, was wiped out and the few dwarves with whom he could identify himself, were scattered to the four winds.

"Then we have at least one thing in common." She tapped the head of the warg a few times and he stopped growling. "Be loyal to no one but yourself, Thorin. That will save you from great disappointment."

"Did you set this trap?"

Scar gave him an intense look. "Does it make a difference? Will you nail me to a tree if I admit? Will you sniff disdainfully if I deny?"

Thorin knew he couldn't trust Scar, but still he was going to ask his question. He longed for an answer so badly he was willing to reveal his biggest secret. And deep down he was convinced Scar wouldn't care about it anyway. "Is it me they are looking for?"

"You really think you would still be alive if that was true?"

The fact that she answered every question with a question was annoying him. "Maybe I do," he answered. "I can slay some orcs, believe me."

"While you were chitchatting with me, at least twenty orcs could have riddled your head with arrows."

A blush appeared on his cheeks. He felt so ashamed he couldn't come up with an answer this time.

Scar took a step forward and the dark warg followed her as if he was her shadow. "But tell me... Why do you think the orcs are looking for you?"

He started to sweat, but he didn't know what was causing that: her being so close to him or the fear that she would pass the information she gained from this conversation. He found it likelier to believe that she would betray him to Azog than that she would tell Lord Elrond why they were seeking refugee.

Thorin looked up to her, into her icy blue eyes. She wasn't as tall as the others elves, his forehead was on the same level as her chin.

"No specific reason," he muttered. "Elrohir told me this doesn't happen usually."

Scar laid a hand against his chest. "You heart is racing in your chest." She brought her lips to his ear. "You aren't lying to me, are you? Thorin, last in the line of Durin?"

Thorin stared at her in shock. Her eyes were sparkling as if they were ice crystals.

Scar let go of him. To their right a silhouet showed up and Thorin felt ice cold when he recognized Elladan.

The elf stared to the other elf, his former lover, with a face that was just as cold. In the end it was Scar who got on her Warg and disappeared from sight.

Thorin had the feeling he needed to apologize to his friend, whose stare seemed to stab him.

"What did she want from you?"

Thorin could still feel her lips against his auricle. He took a deep breath and answered: "Nothing. I was after an orc when she ran into me. I thought she was going to kill me."

Elladan looked briefly at him. "Scar will never kill you. She rather plays with your mind, until you hate her so much you'll be the first to hit."

. . .

DÍS

. . .

Dís looked at the sleeping face of her son. He seemed to have managed to let go of the fear and the tension and Dís wished she could do the same.

An elf got her a blanket and Elrohir had wrapped it around her. He sat next to her on the couch. Dís looked up and followed his gaze, that was aimed at the window. The sky started to become brighter.

"They're not coming back, are they?" Dís whispered quietly. "I knew it. I knew it all along."

Elrohir took away his eyes from the sky to look at her. "I'm sure they're fine. My father and brother are still in the woods too. They're just expelling the last orcs and try to find Fíli's hiding place."

Dís turned away her face when his eyes showed his worries nevertheless.

"They've faced many battles, Dís. My father as well as our brothers. Nothing will happen to them," Arwen ensured her.

Carefully Dís touched the tips of Kíli's hair. "My father, grandfather and husband were great warriors too, but only one unexpected blow or jab can mean someone's end." She turned to Elrohir again. "I know you're worrying. I can read it in your eyes."

Elrohir heaved a sigh. "I lost sight of Thorin," he admitted. "I don't know where his mind was, but it certainly wasn't with his enemies."

A shiver crept down her spine while she wondered whether the wargs had called up memories. Memories of his dead friends and family.

His words made her bottom lip quiver. She hadn't want to hear comforting lies, but the truth was so horrible she wished she'd never insisted. A tear rolled down her cheek and dripped on Kíli's chin, but he didn't notice. As if he was dead too.

All of a sudden she panicked.

"Kíli!" she yelled, touching for his neck to feel a heartbeat. Before she could find one, he opened his eyes. Confusion was written all over his face. Ashamed Dís turned her face away. She started to sob uncontrollably, no matter how hard she tried to stop the tears.

"I'll take him to one of the dorm rooms," Arwen said quietly.

Dís didn't respond. She didn't even look at Kíli as her friend lifted him from her lap. She was completely washed out. Every tear leaving her eyes, expanded the emptiness inside her.

"It's okay," Elrohir told her softly. "It's okay to cry."

Dís didn't know what to answer, but she felt a bit calmer when he pulled her in his arms and let his chin rested on her head.

~

Dís walked through a green field that extended as far as the eye could see. There was nothing but grass and a blue sky. No clouds. No trees. No flowers. No other creatures.

A deep calm washed over her and she had the feeling she'd finally reached her destination after a long journey. She'd put her luggage on the ground and realized how much it had hindered her freedom. There was nothing she needed to do. No secrets she had to keep, no children she had to take care of. There were no worries, no depressing memories. There was nothing, nothing at all and Dís had the feeling she came home and was welcomed by invisible arms.

Arms that were becoming more and more visible, until she felt uncomfortable and was hearing intrusive whispers.

"Wake up."

Confused Dís opened her eyes. Immediately she had the feeling she was carrying the packs of three horses, so heavy reality came down on her.

"Thorin is back."

Her heart revived and she looked around. He indeed entered the room, followed by Elladan and Lord Elrond.

Dís stood upright and Elrohir's arms slid off her.

"Thorin," she whispered.

He ran toward her and took her in his arms.

"I was so scared," she whispered. "I was so afraid you wouldn't return."

Thorin ruffled her hair and she took a deep breath before she stepped back and looked at her brother, whose arms were bruised. None of the wounds however looked serious.

"Where – where's Fíli?"

Thorin sighed. "We haven't found him yet, Dís. Lord Elrond however insists we take a few hours rest before we continue the search."

She turned her face to Lord Elrond. "You promised me," she whispered. "You promised to bring him back."

Lord Elrond's eyes were aimed at a gaping wound in his shoulder as he answered: "I did, Dís, and I will. You need to be patient." He looked up. "And you need to rest."

Dís shook her head in silence. As if she would ever find rest as long as her son was missing...

. . .

THORIN

. . .

Thorin hadn't returned to his own house, but to that of his sister. Dís made an unstable impression and he was afraid she could go crazy any moment. He didn't know exactly what to expect from her in such a situation. Maybe she would only collapse like a bag of potatoes, but there was also a chance she would lose it and run into the forest, determined to find her son.

Thorin didn't think he would be able to fall asleep, but after tucking in Dís and Kíli and laying down on the couch, he noticed how heavy his eyelids felt and before he could think about the things Scar had told him or the fears Fíli could be facing right now, a thick blanket was draped over him, obscuring every thought until there was nothing but a deep silence.

A few hours later Thorin was awakened by a knock on the door. He sat upright, rubbed the sleep out of his eyes and walked to the door. He still felt tired, but he was glad he'd rested for a few hours.

"Shall we hit the road again?" Elrohir asked. "My father and brother are already at the gate."

Thorin nodded. "Of course. Give me a second, I'll write Dís a note."

He motioned his friend to enter the house and walked to the dinner table. On the edge of it Dís kept a pile of parchment with quills and Thorin dipped the feather in the ink next to it and wrote a short letter to his sister.

When he shoved the quill away and laid the note at the center of the table, he decided to check upon her before he would leave. "I'll be right back."

Carefully he opened the door of the room and his heart sank when he saw her empty bed. With a little more violence he opened the room of the boys, where Kíli was sleeping peacefully.

A bit upset he returned to Elrohir. "She's gone."

His voice cracked. He usually hid his emotions, but he was worrying about his sister for more than a year now. She'd went through a period in which she no longer cared about herself before, and who knew what reckless things she would do while trying to find back her son.

"Gone?" Elrohir repeated confused. "What do you mean? Where did she go?"

Thorin hung his fur coat over his shoulders, buckled his sword to his waist and shrugged his shoulders. "I think she went looking for Fíli herself. I have no idea where else she would go." He closed the door behind them and realized he couldn't leave Kíli alone.

"Could you ask Arwen to look after Kíli?"

Elrohir nodded and rushed to the palace while Thorin headed for the abyss where Lord Elrond and Elladan were waiting for him. He wondered how last night would change their lives. It was clear as day his family created a stir in the whole community. Except his nephew, his sister had disappeared now too, by which they looked like a reckless family that couldn't comply with the rules. Lord Elrond wasn't a man who quickly judged other people's behavior, but he wouldn't permit them to jeopardize the rest of his kingdom and after the appearance of the orcs and the disappearance of half of the dwarfs, he might reconsider his decision to incorporate them into their community.

"What happened?" Elladan asked with raised eyebrows. Apparently his sorrows were washing over his face.

"Dís is gone. I think she's already in the woods."

His palms were clammy and he wiped them off on his pants.

"We will find her," Lord Elrond spoke calmly. "The wargs and orcs have probably left and a large number of my men is already looking for the young dwarf."

Probably. The word didn't feel right and Thorin couldn't take over Elrond's peace. Thorin told them Elrohir went to Arwen and they decided he would follow them as soon as he could.

While they walked through the narrow passage to the woods, Thorin felt an ominous feeling coming down on him. It caused goose bumps and he quickened his pace so he could talk to the elf king, hoping the gloomy feelings would go away as the silence was broken.

"Has anyone died tonight?"

Elrond shook his head. "No, fortunately everyone has returned." He glanced into the distance, where the high trees were waiting for them. "Almost everyone."