She didn't pick me. She didn't say my name. That's all I remember from that moment our freshman year. That, and... well, that ass. I was walking down the hall from an early dismissal. Like a massive dork, I didn't want to go home. I was too excited about the game, so I thought I'd head to the athletic room and focus. When I saw the painted sign surrounding, forgive me again, the most incredible ass I'd seen. I assumed it was Devin or maybe Brooke... no, it was Devin's ass.

To my surprise a much prettier, familiar face peeked out from underneath it. I don't know what came over me after that. It was just some stolen moment. She was familiar, she even smelled like something I'd always known but better. I was standing so close I could smell her hair. Her dark brown eyelashes fluttered up at me. It was like seeing a deer slow and stop in front of your car instead of darting out in front of you and ruining everything. It insists you watch it cross in front of you, gifting you this suspension in time that no one else is on the highway.

I saw that once. My headlights across a deer's face making their eyes dance back at me. It was the night I was driving my dad's car for the first time, with permission, but it was technically illegal to do on my own with just a learner's permit. It was so strange, not just the feeling that I could have hit it by mistake and ruined the car had this gone any other way, but that it walked out and dared me not to. It was the one in complete control of two lanes.

July was someone I'd known all my life, but she was showing me who she was for the first time. I don't know, I guess I thought she would always be who she was in sixth grade or something like that. She was daring me not to watch her, and I liked it. To say she surprised me, or I was taken aback by her that day, was an understatement.

We joked about the stupid run through sign. I made her get paint on herself. It was childish, goofy and stupid, but sexy as hell. It was new territory that she and I embarked on that day. We were flirting. We had never done that before... not like that.

That night I was so excited about the game. I just felt something in the air. I watched from a distance as the cheerleaders began hoisting our sign up. There was a comical "N" worked in to where it was left out and an arrow drawn from it to where our paint smudge had been on what used to be a flag I think, instead it was a colossal bull's eye. I laughed out loud. I knew it was for me. Somehow, she had not only corrected the spelling error on the sign, but she had found our joke, and made one up to make it make since out of the sign that didn't. I was fueled with excitement the rest of the game. I guess I was... giddy. So strange how something so small can make all the difference in the world.

When I looked up and saw the cheerleaders walking to the other side, I felt invincible the minute I had the ball in my hands. I knew I wasn't going to let it go until I made the touchdown, and I did make it. My name was called across the game and a few minutes later... I don't know what happened. I can't remember if I looked up hoping to hear if she said my name or relieved when I heard she didn't. I just scored the touchdown, I could have had any one of those girls, and Corey...fucking sophomore Corey Bower, the best of JV. Please, if he was as good as I was as a freshman, he would have been on varsity. Besides, I may have just earned my spot on the varsity team. They didn't notice me before... How do you like me now?

Regardless, my name was called on the loudspeaker not his, and I knew she heard it.

I came back to the present. I must have been sitting in the coaches' office waiting for forty-five minutes when Coach Bartlett came back, alone. Thank God. I'd had enough of those other assholes. Bartlett was a better man, an actual educator. He knew the way this went down was immature and inappropriate to say the least. He also knew that if he was going to rip anybody a new one, it wouldn't be in front of me the way Coach Craig had talked to me in front of Principal Sabella and all the other coaches. What they don't realize is Coach Craig didn't just disrespect me, he disrespected them too.

"Alright, Adrian. We've got it all sorted. That bastard. Why didn't you come to me? You know what they're like. Hell, son... did you think he'd throw you a party?"

"Well, I thought it was my own decision, so I was prepared for a reasonable amount of consequence." The Coach shot me a look.

"This is Pure Pines, that'd be your first mistake. Plus, you know how good you are. That's his fault not yours. Sign of a bad coach. Somebody who can't afford to lose their best player is somebody who doesn't know how to coach anybody else to be the best."

"I guess I was banking on that. That maybe being a coach is what he was here for, not his own accolade for taking a team as far as he could."

"Uh huh." Coach Bartlett's eyes twinkled at me with a load of sarcasm as he tossed a toothpick in his mouth. "I think that outta' tell you right there why I don't coach football. Son, anytime somebody tells you that something is everything... that's the first sign you better start looking for something else. And, that you did. I've got to hand it to you."

"That's exactly why I didn't come to you with it. It was my decision; I didn't want you implicated. So how did you work it out with Coach Craig?"

"I implicated myself and made it between me and him. Let's just say he thought you were his star wide receiver, and I let him know real quick you were my state track champ. I let 'em think I was an old man and needed the win, then I left him with the challenge of not being a good enough coach to survive your exit. Better for him to be in a pissing contest with someone his own age. It's really the only kind of competition he understands."

"That rudimentary and barbaric?"

"Oh, come on son... surely you remember my social studies class, and if you don't, a comic book works too." We shared a chuckle at the Neanderthals that make up Pure Pine's finest. "So, you report to me in athletics. Now, I don't have that period this entire semester. I won't be with you daily until track season obviously. But same as we set it up last summer... I leave you the training drills, you do the work. Coach Craig will still be observing you on the track and responsible for your grade until Spring, but, ah, you won't have any more problems out of him."

I nodded in complete acceptance and grateful to be under his jurisdiction. I slid my chair back to stand up, stretching to leave. "I don't know how to thank you for coming through for me, it was looking bleak."

"Well, I guess you really don't have to thank me... you never asked for my help. You could thank a pretty unforgettable concerned citizen. Good God son, she nearly broke my arm to get to you in time." He studied my face for a reaction. "I just think that's a good damn deal to have one like that looking out for you. I'm not sure how you achieved it, but I wouldn't mess that up if I were you. You don't get too many of those in Pure Pines."

I half smiled, super confused. I think I even zoned out a second. The coach rose to exit as well. I felt a supportive hand slap my back.

"Reed? Don't think about it too much son. It'll hit ya right one of these days, if not, it'll hit somebody else. Boy, I'd hate to be on the loosing end of that mistake. See you on the track."

The coach waved off as he exited. I stood in the office a bit exhausted and dumbfounded from what felt like an all-day event. That, and Coach Bartlett's mention of July. I thought of when I looked up at her from the office and saw him standing next to her. I've never felt so relieved in my life. Not just that, the fact that it was her. It was overwhelming in a good way I can't really describe. Having someone know you needed something that you didn't even imagine available to you. It was a kind of awareness or discernment for another person that a lot of perceptive people may have but never put themselves out there to act on. I guess she just did... for me.

Still, that freshman game night when the cheerleaders returned to our side, Corey got a high five and then threw July a wink. I felt sick to my stomach for a second. Funny how things work out. I'm pretty sure I remember him being back with his girlfriend by that next week.

I didn't expect her to pick me, at least not the day before or that morning even. It's not like I planned our little paint sign moment. It just happened. Even so, even if I felt a twinge of relief not to be tied down to anyone after my small moment of glory. I couldn't help but feel emptyhanded that night. I just kept thinking. She didn't pick me. She didn't say my name.