I laughed along to the conversation, having lost track of it a long time ago. I'm pretty sure my cheeks were red from the heat in the room. "Excuse me." I set my third empty glass down on the table and began to swing along to the door which led to the balcony. The alcohol had done nothing to my senses, to me. At least I tried. The only thing the alcohol had done was make me realise that I really wasn't the old me anymore.

"Where are you going?" I think it was Fury that asked.

"Outside, it's a little warm." I opened the door, sighing as the cool air caressed my cheeks. I swung to the railing before letting my crutches drop to the floor as I leant on it. I really didn't treat my crutches with care...

"I can see why you left, the conversation doesn't even make sense anymore and most of them are too drunk to notice." I looked to see Bucky walking towards me. A smart navy blue suit clung to his figure, his first two shirt buttons open and his tie undone. It was a slightly rugged look but he looked amazing. Whoa, what was I thinking?!

"That's partly why I left," I laughed, looking over the edge at the moving traffic below. It whizzed by below, so many people were out so late at night. Manhattan seemed to be alive at all hours.

"What was the other reason?" Bucky asked, leaning on the balcony as well.

"I just don't do laughter and celebrating anymore." I shrugged, leaning further over the edge. "I guess that's what war does to you - it changes your perspective."

"I still can't believe they let dolls like you fight..." Bucky pushed his hair out of his face. It was still a little long, but it was no longer the grunge look he'd been sporting in the news when the UN bomb had gone off.

"Wow, are you being sexist now?" I stood hands on my hips, still leaning on the railing.

"No, jeez, no." Bucky raised his hands in surrender. "I just think guys are supposed to protect the gals you know, not the other way around. You gotta remember I'm over a hundred years old now I'm a little old fashioned in my ways."

"I forgot you were from a long time ago, an old man essentially," I mumbled.

"Are you calling me old?" He laughed, cocking his head to the side.

I leant with my back to the railing now. "Well in all technicalities you are. But if it's any consolation you look pretty good for an old guy."

"Thanks," Bucky sighed. "You don't look too bad yourself."

"Thanks." I leant forward, my arms behind me gripping the railing. "I miss the noise, you know, the bombs, the gun fire... It's just so silent now. I don't miss the killing, just the..."

"The noise of everyone around you, the cheers, the laughter..." Bucky was now copying me in my strange leaning motion.

"I don't even know why I went to war in the first place," I sighed, leaning back and casting my gaze across the city. Lights reflected off of the glass and everything was humming with activity. The city was alive with its own energy.

"I guess I wanted to make a difference, to stop the bullies." I looked over at Bucky, his strong jaw line shadowed by the lights of Manhattan. His eyes were deadly serious as they glanced in front of him. "Look at the good that did, I became the worst bully. Sometimes I wonder whether anything I've done has been good."

"No, you became the victim," I sighed. "Because unfortunately the bullies have bombs and tanks too and they don't play nice. And you have done good things, you've fought with Black Panther protecting Wakanda and you've been there for Steve. You're a good man Bucky, don't let anyone tell you any different."

"Thanks, that means a lot." Bucky motioned to the city. "But after all I went through it was worth it, even if I don't remember most of my life in the army before HYDRA. I fought to protect a world from bullies like HYDRA and eventually, well now, I do."

"Bullies..." I put my back to the rail. "I've had far too much experience with them."

"No guy to protect you from them?" Bucky raised his eyebrow at me.

"I don't bother with men," I laughed. "I can't lose anyone then, and I can't have my heart broken."

"You have a heart?" I heard him whisper, chuckling.

I reached to lightly hit him in the arm, that was until my left leg gave way. "Shit," I muttered, bracing my hands for the harsh impact of the floor.

"Careful," was being whispered in my ear as hands were once again catching me. Goosebumps rose on my skin where he held my arms.

I pushed away from him, grabbing onto the railing which I idiotically hadn't grabbed before hand. No. I could not get close to him. To anyone. I had to keep them at a distance. I had to keep them safe.

"I don't have any diseases, that I know of," Bucky laughed, putting his hands up in defeat. His blue eyes watched me closely, searching my face.

"Sorry, just..." Yeah, well done Zoe you can't actually answer that one.

"I don't blame you, the standard of men today is appalling." Bucky shrugged. "I mean I thought I was bad back then."

"Ohhhh," I mocked him, glad for the change in conversation. "Bit of a ladies man were we?"

"Mmmmm..." His eyes were distant.

"The past, it's painful, no doubt about that." I rubbed his shoulder. "But it's over and we're currently in the present."

"Rightly said." Bucky held his arm out. "Best to get back inside I guess."

I glanced down at my crutches. "I...urrr.."

"Oh right." Bucky picked up my crutches, handing them to me.

"Thanks," I said, slipping them on and swinging forward. "Let's go."

"Ladies first." Bucky motioned to the door.

"Thanks." I swung inside, the atmosphere slightly calmer.

"Zoe!" Sharon was now wobbling over to me. Oh dear...

"Sharon," I smiled. How much had she had to drink since I had gone outside?

"This is Sam!" She giggled pointing to a dark skinned, muscly man sitting to next to Steve.

"Hi Sam." I nodded my head towards the Falcon.

"Hi Zoe, you're looking mighty fine." He was now walking towards me. Great.

"Thanks," I blushed.

Bucky took the Falcon's seat, whispering something to Steve.

"Don't thank me for telling the truth darlin." Oh god, he was flirting with me.

Sam winked at me, holding out his arm. "Gonna give me a dance?"

"I can't." I moved my crutches. "And I don't dance anymore."

Sharon was now filling another glass, her poor liver. "You used to be amazing."

"Precisely, used to be." I went and collapsed onto a chair, away from the Falcon.

"Cheer up, it's your birthday!" Sharon was now wobbling over to me, her eyes slightly glazed over. She was going to go out like a light in a minute.

I quickly, well quickly for me, stood up and took the glass off of her before catching as she fell.

"What have you been drinking?" I laughed, sniffing the contents of the glass. "No need to answer: you've been mixing."

Steve took Sharon from me as I sat down again. He carried her so carefully and looked at her with so much affection. A sharp pain spread in my chest. I would never know that feeling: love. I couldn't know that feeling otherwise the person who I fell for would get hurt.

"So where do you come from?" Sam asked, brown eyes staring at me. He was attractive but I just wasn't feeling it. At least he had snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Earth." I pushed my hair out of my face. I tried to stop a yawn by biting my lip. Great, it probably looked like I was flirting now.

"Yeah, but where abouts on Earth?" God was he persistent.

"A place where history is bountiful and the time has begun to lean to the side." Riddles, I had watched far too much of lord of the rings in the last few months.

"Riddles, seriously?" Sam slapped his knee, smirking.

"Just because you're not smart enough to solve them." What can I say? I was sarcastic bitch.

"London," Bucky spoke from his seat.

"Bang on the money over there," I laughed.

"Do you want some tea, m'lady?" Sam laughed.

"I doubt it, I don't like tea, dear sir." I played along.

"Fish and chips?"

"No." I crossed my left leg over my right. "What about a full English breakfast?"

"Haven't you got to be careful about what you eat?" Pepper asked. "I mean what with being on crutches and all."

"Nah, I've got a high metabolism." I smirked. "I can pig out and won't even gain a pound."

"Lucky," Jane sighed.

"Uh," I shrugged, glancing at Sam. He was frowning. "Don't strain too hard to figure out what metabolism is, Sam. You might hurt yourself."

"Bitch," he muttered.

"You're a stupid, selfish woman now? Wow and I just thought they were man boobs," I laughed.

"Do we need to settle this fist to fist?" Sam stood up, cracking his knuckles.

So did I. "Nah." I swung over to him. "I wouldn't want to whoop your arse in front of all these nice people, besides even if it is in the past I don't think you'll forget."

Everyone laughed apart from Sam who shook his head.

"You couldn't even get a finger to me darlin'." Sam laughed at me. "I'm way outta your league."

"I don't appreciate you laughing at me." I put one of my crutches on his toe, pressing down. "Who said anything about me touching you, I wouldn't want to. And besides I'm way out of your league." I laughed, leaning back off of his toe.

"Ow," Sam groaned, grimacing.

"Awwww diddums, did I hurt you?" I swung back on my crutches.

"No." He glared at me.

"Don't laugh at me again, dear." I leaned in close to him, but still spoke so that everyone could hear me. "Because I don't play nice when I think I'm being bullied. In fact, I don't play nice at all." Damn, earlier what I'd said to Bucky about the bad guys not playing nice... Please say I hadn't given myself away.

"Sorry," Sam mumbled.

"S'alright," I laughed. "The past is in the past, let's just get on with the present, birdy."

A deep laugh sounded from across the room, my insides immediately did a flip. Who was that?