Book Title: Seven Days of my Life

Author:  Wingsanddreams

Review:

1. Cover- The whole cover was aesthetically pleasing, so there were no errors on that end. But there was indeed a slight problem, as some of the words got cut off from the cover. This must be because the image created for the cover was not of the correct size and so Wattpad cut them of itself. Believe me, this has happened to me many times. To correct this, I suggest you use a cover designer app which is supported by Wattpad, it ensures that the cover size is optimal. Other than that, everything was just perfect. I am looking forward to knowing what those flowers from the book mean to the characters, I hope most characters can relate to them.

2. Description- The summary was short, which is something I appreciate. But you did make a few grammatical errors. Let's consider it all,

"When a member of a group of immortal human, who are more advanced than their own kind in the field of science and technology, turns into a serial killer you know he will be an expert at it.

No mistakes.

No proof.

No witness.

No justice.

His extra years of life and knowledge just add to his scavenging skills."

First of all, since you are talking about a group of people, notice how I didn't call it a group of persons but used people? Similarly, it should be a group of immortal humans instead of a singular human.

Next, when we read the whole sentence, let's focus on the gap between "killer" and "you",

We must use commas to enclose clauses not essential to the meaning of a sentence. These nonessential clauses are called nonrestrictive and may begin with a relative pronoun (such as who, whom, whose, that, which). For example;

"Dean Macklister, whose show you like, will host a party next week." (nonrestrictive)

Similarly, it should be "killer, you" to indicate that the initial information about the whole group is slightly unrelated to the first few words about a particular member.

Lastly, the parallel structure of a sentence refers to the extent to which different parts of the sentence match each other in form. When more than one phrase or description is used in a sentence, those phrases or descriptions should be consistent with one another in their form and wording. Parallel structure is important because it enhances the ease with which the reader can follow the writer's idea. Consider the following example,

"He is strong and a tough competitor."

Notice that "strong" and "a tough competitor" are not in the same form. "Strong" and "competitive" are consistent in form.

Similarly in the last line, life and knowledge don't go well together, look into that.

Also, there is a small thing I want to add, it's not a grammatical issue, but I suggest you add just a little piece of information to introduce the main character. This is again not an error, but it helps the reader to interact with the book more effectively from the start. It also helps them to understand what they are getting into.

3. Character Building- I'd like to start with Myra's character. In the 1st chapter, we get to know that she hates being alone, later that she's an introvert and then we learn that she has probably gone through a horrific past of abuse due to this Hemang guy. If we consider these facts in order then her behavior cannot be justified at all. If she is an introvert then going to the club in the first place is a big step, next if she still manages to come up with some sort of willpower then talking to a stranger and inviting them to her room AND leaving them alone there while going to the bathroom is probably not a logical thing. If she did go through abuse, then trusting a stranger like that is not a viable option according to her character description, and even if she didn't go through such kind of thing then too, a sensible person will never do something like that for just a hookup. I hope you understand where I'm coming from, the character traits and their behavior do not match accurately, kindly look into that.

Next comes Aaron, I liked this character's beginning description. I think the sudden plot twist did enhance his personality. I did not find any faults in him as such, so congrats you made a great side role (I'm guessing he is a side role, or maybe a supporting one).

5. Grammar- Finally the thing which I wanted to talk about.

In the first paragraph, with a glance, there is nothing wrong but if we consider it properly then there seems to be something out of place. You used, "What's the best place to find a temporary lover? Club. As simple as it is."

It could be written as," What's the best place to find a temporary lover? A club. This is as simple as it can get." Or maybe like, "Where can you find some love for the night? A club, of course. This is as simple as it can be."

If we look at what you wrote then using just "Club" to make sense as a sentence isn't quite right, you need to support it with something else as well. In the next line "As simple as it is" is what we call a sentence fragment since it misses both the verb as well as the subject. So, you must add both for it to make sense, when we use 'as simple as it is' in a usual manner we add something at the end like, 'as simple as it is, the curse sounds crafty as well.' I believe what you meant to write was, '(It's) as simple as that!' Or '(It's) no more complicated than that!' Also, I put up an alternative for the first sentence as well in the above lines, there was no grammatical error but I simply believe that the 1st sentence should be a bit catchy, try to use exotic (not difficult) words.

Looking at the next set of lines,

"I was all dolled up like a barbie knowing that beauty never mattered. Beautiful people don't rule the world. Nevertheless, I am a perfect doll. Doll for someone's Instagram, doll for someone's my-girl-is-the-hottest-battle, hollow like a doll, porcelain like, soft and fragile like a doll. It's makes home wherever it goes. Do whatever you please to do to her."

It could be written as, "I was dolled up like a barbie, all the while knowing that beauty never matters. Beautiful people don't rule the world. Nevertheless, tonight I am a perfect doll. A doll for someone's Instagram, a beauty for someone's my-girl-is-the-hottest-battle, hollow porcelain with a soft and fragile being. It makes home wherever it goes. Do whatever you please to do with her."

Here mistakes are about the placement of commas, absence of significant phrases, repetition of a word, and incorrect use of 'its'. Like it should be,

1. 'barbie, knowing'

2. Nevertheless, tonight/ for today/ for now/ as of now/ I am a perfect doll.

3. Instead of using the word 'doll' twice use a different word like, marionette, puppet, beauty, figurine, etc.

There were no major mistakes as such, but there were numerous small mistakes throughout the story. These mistakes were small enough to not affect the overall plot and style but it did make the story a bit unappealing. I have gone step by step for the 1st chapter here, if you need a proper editor, I could recommend some writers to you.

6. Plot- First of all, I would like to give you a big congrats to you created a unique story. I haven't read anything like it and so I have to say, you managed to pass the 1st level in writing an awesome story. Like I said before, there were some grammatical errors, but it was nothing major and so your flow was completely fine. There was a tiny thing I wanted to talk about here. Humour is an important aspect of any book, so while using it you need to be extra vigilant. Making people laugh is a very difficult thing, despite the popular belief, as something that might be funny at a particular place and time might not be funny while reading about it later. The part where Aaron laughs on how people don't carry condoms everywhere might not be funny to everyone, its kind of an "in the moment" joke. So my recommendation is that you must use universally funny jokes which fit into the situation, then again don't go with the cliche and use the popular ones, try to find jokes from real life. Like the ones you crack with your friends and family, this might help the reader to feel a closer connection with the author a.k.a you as well.

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~theloner