P.S: I'm extremely sorry for not posting this earlier. It completely flew out of my mind. Hope this isn't too late(^-^!)

Book Title: The Richards

Author: Orizone

Review:

1. Cover- The cover was very well accentuated with the story theme. I could totally relate the blurb with the objects of the cover. Although it did bring out the horror theme you might have wanted to showcase, I've got to say that the cover in itself wasn't that eye catching. It looked a bit dull and didn't create a sense or foreboding or fear in my mind. Consider Goosebumps series for example, the covers used in them clearly switches on a siren in our minds that this is gonna be different and that we gotta through caution to the wind.

2. Summary-  I got that you tried your level best to create the blurb, and did manage to earn a few browny points with regards to the grammar and punctuation. I somehow felt that the only thing noticeable about the blurb was that it was short and concise. Sorry if I sound a bit blunt, but the blurb did not give me any sort of horror vibes at all. I don't read horror much, but I've had my fair share of mistakes. I've read a few really awesome summaries that totally scared me off. So, I'd like to recommend a book called by No smart kids allowed by Ms_Horrendous, I hope you take some points from the said author and try to understand the depth of horror she portrays in her characters.

3. Grammar- To be honest, I didn't find any major grammatical errors as such in your book. My only recommendation is to use some sort of writing app like grammarly or something like that in order to double check or finalize your work.

4. Character Building- The most complex character I found was Zheng.  His motive was clear, his methods unknown but vicious. I'd have to say you created a character that was out of the world. His expressions as you mentioned clearly gave a closed off vibe as someone who is grieving and looking for revenge, but I hoped for a bit more... drama, I guess? Like, the number of interactions between Dirk and Zheng were not quite enough, and I also couldn't help but wish to read on some lines on the backdrop of Zheng's planning. Other than that, this character was great.
Moving on to Dirk, honestly speaking I didn't quite get him.
Was he a good father who was forced due to the turn of events?
Was he the unfeeling type who only thought about moving ahead?
What lead to the decisions he made?
Why did he change his mind about killing his kids?
What pushed him through the edge?
And at the last, why did he use such a gruesome method of eeny meanie miny moe if he didn't actually want to kill them?
I hope you'll work on answering those questions by explaining the reasons behind his actions as a person and a father.
About his wife, I didn't quite understand the night scene when she asks him to kill one of them, it was an out of nowhere scenario. Was she drunk or poisoned or something like that? Please add the explanation to that as well.

5. Plot- There were a lot of plot holes and loose ends. Let's look at them one by one. So, Dirk killed Zheng's father. Zheng has a grieving mother. And Dirk is jobless with 3 kids and a totally awesome wife.
My first question is, what happened to the DUI laws of Philadelphia? From my research (depending completely on google), DUI charges less to months of probation, fines, and some things along those lines. And, this is only if you didn't hurt anybody while in influence. But, from Dirk's example he clearly caused the death of a person, so jail time must also be mentioned. Please clear off this discrepancy.
Next, Dirk was looking for a job interview right? What happened with that? This question boggled me many times as I went through your story. I'd suggest adding in a scene related to that, and try to create suspense along with horror.
Next, what was the disease? What was its basis? A curse? Some poison? Now, If what you created was completely fictional then also a basis needs to be provided. What exactly did Zheng do which caused the 3 kids to end up that way? Fiction needs reason too, for example consider Harry Potter for a minute, there was a a spell which melted off the bones. This had a proper history, needed a perpetrator, had a specified victim and cause, ALSO it had a clear treatment.
Lastly I would like to say, despite having a lot of plot holes, your story was something new. It was interesting and different, the sight created by the stuff you mentioned was gory, and I actually enjoyed the level in which it went, but again it needs some backdrop. That's pretty much it (^-^).

P.S. If you want the other chapters to be reviewed please fill the form again.

If you want any improvisations in the review comment here:

~theloner