Book Title: 14 Days

Author:  pettysmut

Review:

1. Cover- The cover was extremely well made. I just... I will be honest here, this was the first book in a really long time whose story mattered to me more than the cover. Usually, I judge the book by the cover, as do most people, but this was surely an exception. There were a few discrepancies, of course, the number of elements shown in the cover was significantly lesser than the number of themes. This, however, did not affect the allure of the story itself. The character was introduced in the cover only, so that was a plus, I was confused as to who the guy in the cover represented. My final analysis is that, it's Lucky (Am I right?). All in all, a great effort.

P.S. I think it would look more relatable if the flowers in the cover are replaced by blue roses or something along those lines OR if you could explain the importance of the specific flower in the protagonist's life.

2. Description- Let's focus on the details of your description,

"With a life-changing incident, ten days of proving someone wrong and a burning desire to escape the world, will two boys who never noticed nor talked to each other actually fall in love?"

Here, I firstly suggest the addition of a comma after "wrong", to properly separate the elements of this sentence. This is a serial comma, and its the last comma before the coordinating conjunction and the final item of the series of elements in a sentence. Its actually a matter of style, and most people would argue against its usage, but it ensures avoidance of confusion and ambiguity in many cases, so I recommend always using one for the sake of consistency. Also, I suggest replacement of the word "actually" with "be able to" or "ever", as it is often referred to as a 'filler phrase' which makes the sentence wordy without adding any meaning to it.

Lastly, I think that the description was a little too vague, generally while reading a book, judges usually look for the following things in description: the major event, the introduction of a character, and the character goal. In yours, even though you managed to do it all, I felt that it was a bit vague and a bit more information might arouse interest. Not too much though, just enough to keep them standing on their toes to read the next set of words.

3. Character Development- No words... like really. Blue or Lucky was an exceptional character. His pain was described well, and in the emotional department, I have nothing to add. Your story was about a journey through pain to life, this in itself requires a lot of work. Even though Lucky's character developed at a precise pace, there is something I'd like to add on to the plot in that regard. (Check in the plot part). Let's look at Chance, he seems like a nice guy, but a question arose in my mind when I read about him. What was his intention? You gave his background story and his character traits but his motive was absent. I hope that it's explained in later chapters though. About the mom's character, it would help if you showcase her dependency on Lucky in a bit more precise manner. That's pretty much it.

4. Grammar- I have no specific complaints to add in the grammar department, your overall editing was quite proficient. But, I would still suggest that you look for online grammar editors, or some real-life editors to help you make the best out of your words. Also, could you look into the usage of passive and active voice in your sentences? This discrepancy was found in quite a lot of sentences.

5. Plot- Your plot was paced very well and the writing style was truly amazing. There is one teeny tiny thing that I wanted to talk about though. The reasons which Chance gave to Blue were... a little too normal if you get what I mean. Readers expect drama, and even though these reasons gave a realistic aspect to your book, their order was mismatched. Family is the first thing people dispatch themselves from in cases of depression. So, introducing the 1st reason to live to be family was inconsistent with that aspect. To carve them to perfection, I suggest going through some therapy blogs, look at how they proceed with it. Here's an excerpt which I thought might help;

"The reason people want to kill themselves varies vastly. There is no silver bullet to convince someone not to kill themselves otherwise we'd have no suicides. Even if you have gone through a bout of depression and thought of ending your life, chances are it's different from what they're going through. That being said, the good news is that you can empathize and relate. Ask them why they want to die or what would keep them from killing themselves. Behind every reason for suicide, there's more than the surface layer. It's like an onion. You'll have to keep digging and discovering new layers until you get to the core."

Adding on to this, you must start with small reasons like sunrise or sunset, the warmth of the sun on your skin, the smell of coffee, smiles on the faces of those you care about, something along those lines. If you feel that these are cliche, then you can use something related to Lucky's character. Use things that he likes, also for this to work, Chance must know a great deal about him, so a strong motive will be required. Again, this is just a suggestion. Your story is great as it is, and I hope there's a continuation of the story in another book.

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~theloner