Unable to find Hemil, Lanna tracked down Mika. Her friend's face lit up on seeing her, but her sunny smile faded when she saw Lanna's serious expression.

Lanna peered around the doorframe into Mika's large home with its roomy corridors, screen doors and plaster on the walls. Nothing like her humble hut, but at least no one stood behind the girl. Lanna let out a breath, thanking the ancestors.

'What's wrong?' Mika's hand pressed against her chest. 'Is it your mother again? Do you need me to send a runner to the chemist?'

Lanna shook her head, guilt creeping over her for causing Mika to worry.

'No, I... um... was looking for your brother?'

The shine returned to Mika's face and the guilt speared deeper in Lanna's stomach. She inhaled to banish the tightness in her chest. 'I was, hoping to... speak to him? I... have questions.' She rubbed the back of her neck and tried not to meet Mika's gaze.

'What questions?' Mika bleated.

It was too much. Anger flared, bright and sharp.

'Like what in the ancestors' name he's thinking?' The Southern words spilled out, untranslated and incomprehensible to her friend. Lanna clenched her fists and forced calm on her mercurial heart.

'Mika, I need to see him,' she tried again, Imperial coming out in a muttered mess. 'Please.'

Her friend nodded and yelled to her relatives somewhere in the gloom of the interior that she would return soon. The sturdy door closed against the insects and Mika took Lanna by the arm. 'This isn't normal, Lanna. This should all be done through the matchmaker. She will be annoyed.'

'Squid woman can shaft herself,' Lanna mumbled. Having two languages had advantages.

'Though I don't think Hemil will mind.' A smirk crept over Mika's full lips.

Lanna let herself be led by the smaller girl, trying not to stumble over the rutted track as Mika pulled her down the village's only street.

'When he told our father he'd chosen you, he gave solid reasons.' Mika's high voice squealed with renewed excitement. 'He said he'd seen how hard you worked and how loyal you were to your family.' Mika's mouth twisted into an impish grin. 'He also said you were a strong woman with wide hips that would breed strong sons and daughters. Your looks are unusual, but when blended with our blood...'

'Unusual?' Lanna skidded to a halt. Her hands flew to her curly brown hair. Was it her hair? Either that or her sickness had been making her face twitch.

'Sorry,' Mika said and blushed.

Lanna pouted and started walking again. She could hardly avoid standing out. A head taller than every woman in the village, her hair fell in tight frizzy ringlets that bounced when she walked and she had blue eyes like the rest of her family, whereas the villager's eyes ranged from hazel to deep black.

'Hemil likes your appearance.' Mika seemed to pick up on the brooding tangle of Lanna's thoughts. 'He said he feared another may try to make a match with you if he didn't move with speed.' She drew level with Lanna, having to trot to keep up as they left the village, then retook Lanna's arm to guide her to the barns on the edge of the ox pasture. 'He feared multiple proposals would lead to lengthy negotiations, which would confuse you and may put you off the idea of marriage to anyone.'

Lanna didn't quite believe Mika. Was she trying to improve her brother's chances by telling half-truths? The girl appeared set on having Lanna marry into her family.

When answered with silence, Mika did what all Imperials seemed to do when stuck for something to say: quote an emperor.

'Emperor Sep the Fourth decreed that his people should keep the Empire the strongest of nations by having strong children.'

'Didn't he die three hundred years ago? There are far more people now and—'

'It's our duty as Imperials to carry out his will,' Mika said, raising her voice and cutting Lanna off. 'You are a follower of the Emperor's way; it's your duty to wed and have a family as it is mine and Hemil's.'

Well, another lesson learnt: don't question ancient emperors as no one would listen. Lanna supposed she might have some attributes an Imperial man would find of use. A strong partner in a farming community would be a benefit. But what of her illness? She glanced at the ground, near paralysed with indecision.

Mika pulled her towards the barns.

The shadowed and musky interior of the buildings smelt of animals and hay. Lanna's eyes found her quarry. Hemil bent to rub down an ox that had been ploughing the rice stalks into the muddy fields. The stems would rot and enrich the mud for new rice. It was a metaphor for life the villagers often referenced.

The beast blinked, docile under the young man's sure touch. Long lashes fluttered, but the beauty of the creature was somewhat lost on Lanna. The smell... She had to stop herself licking her lips. Would they miss its tail? It would be delicious boiled with onions and... Hemil looked up and grinned when he saw them, brown eyes dancing.

Lanna put her hands on her hips and tried to view him objectively. He had a pleasant face, a little weak of chin and jaw, but most of the men in the village looked that way. He had small eyes, a few tones darker than his sister's, as was his skin – a deep honey brown. His lips were thin though they smiled easily. He lacked the bulk of clan men, and his hair was black and cut short. Fine, sleek wisps gleamed in the light streaming from a few holes in the barn roof. It fell into his eyes. He peered up at her from behind the strands.

His smile widened at her not-so-subtle scrutiny, but she tried to keep her expression neutral, determined not to encourage him. Her resolve fell to pieces when he held out his hands and slowly turned around in a complete circle, so she could get a look at all of him. His grin had widened when he turned to face her again, white teeth peeping at her.

'Come to inspect me?' His speech was slow and deliberate, and she laughed, unable to stop herself. He moved forward and patted his sister on the head, turning her neatly braided hair into a nest of frizzy strands.

Mika squealed in protest and ducked from him.

'Go and play,' he said in a fond tone. 'We adults need to talk.'

Mika huffed but smiled a heartbeat later. She gave Lanna a wink then skipped away.

Lanna watched her go with a chuckle then turned to face the 'problem' before her.

'Well, at least she's happ—' Her words halted; there was something pressed to her lips. It took her mind a moment to catch up, and she stood stunned, not even struggling.

The kiss didn't last long, his lips gentle on hers. He pulled back and glanced up at her, his eyes hooded, but Lanna remained frozen like a corpse on the ice. Eyes wide, hardly even able to think. Her heart stuttered.

'So,' he murmured. 'How does a month from now sound?'

'F-For what?' she whispered, finding her voice.

He laughed. 'Our wedding. It can be sooner if you prefer?' His arm wove around her middle.

A rush of hot panic flooded her body and instinct stepped in. She relaxed her knees and slipped from him, stumbling back to get space, her cheeks burning. She hadn't been kissed by anyone outside her family, and embarrassment and burning anger rose fast enough to choke her. Her chest tightened and her breath gasped, the pulse in her throat hammering.

Hemil frowned. 'Did I do something wrong?' His brown eyes looked over her red cheeks. 'There's no need to be shy,' he said with a disarming smile. 'We'll soon be married.' He stepped forward and she matched him with a step back. His brow wrinkled further.

'I've angered you,' he observed in a soft tone as if coaxing a skittish ox.

He stepped forward again; this time she stood her ground, trying to focus on his words rather than her outrage.

'I know little of the clans, Lanna. Can you tell me what I've done to insult you?'

She took a long, slow breath in and the fire in her blood cooled. She needed to remain in control or she could hurt someone. Words, not actions.

'I haven't said I'm going to marry you.'

The patronising laugh he gave made her glare at him. The air stung her chest on the way in.

'Of course you will,' he said, chuckling. 'I'm the Headman's son. You'd be moons touched to turn me down.'

Lanna gripped her temper. She wouldn't shout or yell; she would be calm and Imperial. Clenching her fists she gave him a cold look.

'I happen to think I can do better, village boy.' The insult felt good, though she knew it to be a childish indulgence.

Hemil's smile turned brittle, and his eyes lost some of their warmth. 'You are an Imperial,' he reminded her. 'You should be wed already.' He sighed and his expression relaxed. 'Is it the age gap that troubles you?' he asked. He took her clenched fists in his hands and ran his thumbs over them, easing her fingers open. A stab of shame arced through her. He didn't deserve to be insulted. She needed to be more tolerant. Lanna of the Clans needed to become Lanna the Imperial.

'You live in the Empire, not some ice block,' he said, his tone warm and inviting. Lanna thought she might have mistranslated. 'You need to think like a civilised person. I can help you do that.'

All charitable thoughts fell from her mind. No, she hadn't misunderstood. Her body jerked as if he'd struck her. 'So you proposed because...' She paused, fighting her temper down. Her mind reeled, making translation almost impossible. 'You want to civilise me? You pity me?'

Hemil continued to rub her trembling hands. 'Marriage to me would elevate your family and give them a secure income.' He rolled his shoulders again and fixed her with an expression she couldn't read. 'That isn't the only reason. Your looks are appealing, and you treat my sister with respect. I think we could be happy.'

She bit her cheek so hard it bled. Perhaps it was his youth? He was two years younger than her.

'I will say, so we're clear, that I won't share you. You will commit to me only. A full marriage. Can your primitive upbringing accept that?'

Hemil didn't know when to close his mouth. Her hand flew before she had a moment to think. Outrage roared through her and coloured her words. 'I wouldn't spread my legs for you if you were the last male living!' Her hand stung and her heart pumped acid round her body.

'Go shaft some Imperial wench who'll get on her knees and suck your balls whenever you shove her into your groin,' she yelled, slipping into Southern without realising. 'You arrogant spawn of gutless cowards!'

Hemil stood, shocked into silence as she had been at his kiss, his hand clasped to his swelling cheek.

Lanna's eyes swam with water and guilt once more pulled its thin, mean fingers over her chest. She had let her blood rule her reason, living up to everything Hemil thought of her people. She walked away.

He called after her, sounding angry and hurt. She brushed past Mika.

'Sister?' the girl asked, her hopeful face adding to the lead in Lanna's stomach. She resented Mika for it.

'Find someone else for your brother,' she snapped as she marched past.

***

Lanna's affronted pride and anger had faded by the time she got back to the hut, leaving her at a loss and shedding tears.

She wept into her mother's lap half the evening. Heaving, self-pitying sobs.

'I don't even know why I'm crying,' she said with soggy misery. 'I wasn't keen on the idea to begin with.'

That was a lie; she knew why she cried. Under her bruised pride, it was there. The feeling that she would always be alone, that no man would accept her. She would die alone and childless. Imperfect, cursed, the spawn of weak parents.

None scolded her in the hut. Not even Durrick. They all knew she would be harsher on herself than they could be.

Lanna's sickness would always taint her.