Lately, my past has been coming back, haunting me...following me...stalking me.

I forgot about it for sometime when I was in Berk but after that Whispering Death incident I felt a bit pathetic.

It brought back memories that I sworn to forget that I sworn to push away as far as I can.

I'm not sure how to come to terms with it. In fact, I'm not sure how to get over it. Maybe some day but I'm not sure just yet.

It brought back ugly memories

The Whispering Death incident and my past doesn't have any correlation but that doesn't mean it didn't bring back some insecurities.

•●●●•

Everyone was at the Dragon Academy. We were learning about dragons and training dragons. Mostly learning.

Lately, I've been having nightmares and been losing sleep. It's always similar every night.

Him...it's always him.

I looked at (y/d/n) and petted (him/her) very tiredly.

I started to feel as if my friends didn't need me. I felt unwanted.

I'm weak and I have no special skills.

Hiccup is a strong leader

Fishlegs is smart. Very smart.

Astrid is a strong warrior

The twins, may not seem like it sometimes, are quite snarky and funny.

Snotlout is confrontational, that takes bravery. He is also strong as well.

But what do I have?

•●●●•

"Hey, is everything alright? You've been acting really off..." Astrid said as she placed an arm around my shoulders.

I didn't even jump. I just looked up at her and back at (y/d/n). "Yeah, I'm fine." I said quietly.

"You know when girls say they're fine they don't actually mean they're fine. The scale goes: great, good, okay, not okay, I hate you, then fine." She smiles softly.

"Ha, yeah I suppose..." I said smiling. Of course, she would know. She is a girl herself.

"So what's going on?" She asked back to her serious tone.

I stayed silent I didn't know what to say or how to say it.

"I...I don't know. I've just been...feeling down...That's all." I lied

Kind of. It wasn't a complete lie but isn't the sole reason why.

"You're a horrible liar." She blurted out

I laughed softly "I'll take that as a compliment."

"Seriously, what's wrong? You're making us all worry." She gestures behind her and I looked behind us.

I didn't realize everyone was just watching us talk.

I looked back at (y/d/n). Astrid started to whisper.

"(Y/n)...I've been waking up hearing you cry in the middle of the night for the past couple of nights...what's bothering you? I won't judge you, I promise." She said as she furrows her eyebrows.

She looks behind her shoulder and I assumed she told the others to leave

I heard them getting on their dragons and shuffled themselves out of the arena.

After they left I sighed, turned around, and sat down by (y/d/n) Astrid sat beside me and looked at me with worry.

"Don't get mad, promise?" I said as I looked up at her.

She nods. I pulled out my pinky she looks at it and wraps her own

"Promise."

I nodded and placed my hand down. I told her what was mostly was on my mind. I don't think I'm ready to talk about the other thing.

"I...sometimes feel like leaving." I said.

I heard Astrid breath in. Sounded like she was about to yell but held it.

"Leave Berk? Why?" She asks sternly.

"You promised you won't get mad." I said as I furrowed my eyebrows sadly.

"I-I'm not mad. I just want to know." She said as she looks at me with confusion.

I breath in "I feel like...I'm just a burden to this team. I don't have any special skills. I'm not strong. I'm not a leader like Hiccup, I'm not smart like Fishlegs, I'm not funny or snarky like the twins, I'm not confrontational like Snotlout and I'm not a warrior like you." I felt tears swelling up in my eyes

There was a moment of silence

"First of all. We're a family. A weird family but we all have each other's backs."

"Even Snotlout?" I laughed out

She groaned and rolled her eyes "Yes, even Snotlout." She smiled but went back to being serious

"Second... what about you? What do you think you are." She asks

I thought for a second. Thinking about yourself was kind of hard.

I shrugged and shook my head "I'm just...me."

Astrid scoots in a little bit closer "Well...I think you're smart! You're really good with medicine. Something that I don't really understand..." Astrid's voice started to soften "You also have a big heart and you're selfless. I've seen the baby sheep you saved. You could have left it there underground and saved yourself instead."

"You did?" I asked as tears were slowly falling down my cheek.

She smiled and nodded "Yeah! Landed on Snotlout's head along with your boot!" She laughs

I chuckled to myself but then I frowned.

"But Hiccup..." I trailed off

"Yeah? What about him?" She asked curiously.

"I almost got him killed..." I said quietly

"Honestly, it was Hiccup's fault for jumping down in that hole in the first place. Don't worry about what happen, (y/n). Hiccup went through way worse than getting shot out from a hole." She said as she places a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

"He did?" I asked in disbelief

"Oh, yeah. How do you think he lost his foot?" She said

"Oh..." I said. I remember...I've been told that there was this huge dragon that was controlling the other dragons. It was the reason why dragons raided the villages. To get food for the giant dragon. Hiccup and the others fought it to bring peace between Vikings and dragons.

"So, you guys don't think I'm useless, weak, pa--"

"No! No...you're none of that. I'm not sure who told you all that...I would personally like to meet them..." she said through a strained voice but then she cleared her throat "but anyways, you're none of that. We need you here on Berk. So please..."

She gave me a side hug which caught me off guard "...don't go. It won't be the same without you."

I felt more tears coming out. I felt so loved. I needed this. A lot. I felt wanted for the first time in a long time.

I gave her a hug back.

"Thank you."