8. Trick or treating is more dangerous than it looks

Hiccup Horrendous Haddock III, rider of Toothless, newly-minted engineer at Berk Aerotech and boyfriend of the beautiful and very dangerous Astrid Hofferson, was not nervous. Not at all. After all, what was there to be worried about, going 'trick or treating' with the gang?

Despite the fact that they were all at least a decade too old to be indulging in the pastime.

Or that they were really rubbish at it.

Or that the twins always got carried away in whatever they did and veered off into some parallel reality where their insanity made sense (it never had to him).

Or that everything with the gang was a competition (despite him saying it wasn't until he was blue in the face) leading to the hypercompetitive members of the group (step forward, Astrid and Snotlout) risking life, limb and legal entanglements in order to win.

Or that he was dressed like a rather skinny, one-legged zombie (all his own work without any costume, unfortunately) and felt ridiculous and insanely self-conscious.

He really wished they could at least borrow a small child but Fishlegs's elder sister Weasellegs (usually known as Weezer) had shown uncommon and unBerkian common sense in insisting her four year old daughter, Mothlegs, would go Trick or Treating with her mother, father, neighbours and basically anybody but the twins and Snotlout.

So he was dressed as a zombie, his prosthetic leg wrapped in scraps of rags to look worse than it was and with his already pale and lightly-frecked face greaspainted dead white with green circles under his emerald eyes to make him look worse. He hadn't needed to do anything to his wild auburn hair because there really wasn't anything that could be done to it anyway but he had sprayed some fake cobwebs into it anyway.

Astrid looked awesome in her training outfit, with her short leather skirt and headband. A lycra azure sleeveless top accentuated her perfect slender figure and her old ripped leggings helped with the look. Even made up with green tinged skin and purple circles under her eyes, she looked gorgeous.

"If all zombies looked like you, I'd volunteer to be eaten," he whispered in her ear as she smiled and pecked a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Flatterer," she smiled as she glanced at the others. Fishlegs had wrapped himself in home-made bandages so he looked like a rather portly Mummy while the twins were a matching witch/warlock pair with pointy black hats, fake warts, oozy wounds, hooked noses and blackened teeth.

"The teeth thing is a bit gross," Hiccup commented. Astrid shrugged.

"They were eating liquorice on the way over," she explained. "I'm sure it will come off..."

Snotlout had dug out his best suit, fashioned a black cape and slicked back his raven hair. A pair of fangs were visible as he smiled.

"I never knew vampires were so short," Ruffnut sniggered.

"Do you actually get taller when you turn into a bat?" Tuff added, snorting with laughter.

"Shut up, Tuffnut," Snotlout sulked.

"You know the people of Berk won't just give sweets to a bunch of mooching graduates?" Hiccup asked them. Tuffnut frowned.

"Is that one of those rhetocrical questions?" he asked.

"Rhetorical," Astrid corrected him.

"What is a rhetocrical question?" Tuff asked.

"Rhetorical," Astrid growled.

"A rhetorical question is one for which the questioner does not expect a direct answer," Ruffnut recited suddenly. "Typically, it is asked to create a dramatic effect or make a point."

"Ha! Always knew you were a drama queen!" Snotlout scoffed.

"The point is that this is Berk. You know, where everyone thinks he's a direct descendent of Erik the Red or Thun the Frothing-At-The-Mouth," Hiccup said with forced patience. "They won't hand anything over and are likely to prank us instead."

"That's actually not the biggest risk," Snotlout said, suddenly hiding behind a lamppost. He gestured to three teenage lads. "They are."

"They?" Fishlegs frowned.

"Cousin Hedgelout's boys-Bushlout, Shrublout and Fencelout," Snotlout said in sudden anxiety.

"Fencelout?"

"Your family really has a problem with its names," Astrid commented. Two more, very buff, late teens joined the three.

"Dogsbreath and Savage!" Snotlout squeaked. Hiccup frowned.

"Snot?" he asked cautiously.

"They come round every holiday and make my life a misery," the stocky dragon rider complained. "Hooky is outside because honestly you can't have him inside with guests because he'd burn the place down and melt the marshmallows prematurely. So I end up keeping them company and...yeah..."

There was a strange moment where the world tilted and everyone felt a bit sorry for the short dragon rider.

"They'll prank me and I'll never hear the last of it," Snotlout sighed. "Dad will spend the whole of Thanksgiving telling me what a disappointment I am to him as a son."

"Surely not," Astrid said dryly. "A renowned author, dragon expert, culinary critic, love guru...what's to be ashamed of?"

"Sarcasm is the lowest form of wit, my dear Astrid," Snotlout replied airily.

"Thanks," Hiccup commented sarcastically.

"They've seen us!" Snotlout squeaked. "Run!"

Snotlout, we're not at school now and..." Fishlegs began as the shorter man took off at top speed, his 'cape' flapping wildly. A hail of eggs hit the others...except Hiccup because a black leathery wing swooped in front of him and shielded him. The boys ran away, laughing as the others stood, shocked and dripping with egg.

"I cannot believe they did that!" Ruffnut choked.

"That's infringement of copyright!" Tuffnut exclaimed, equally outraged. "We're the prankiest pranksters on Berk."

"Not any more, it seems," Hiccup said, his eyes narrowing as he stared after the retreating teens. "And thanks, bud. Egg would be a pain to get off my leg." Toothless crooned, his blunt nose rubbing Hiccup's hand and his luminous eyes eerie in the night. Ahead of them, Halloween-themed Berk stretched out.

"We can't go around like this," Fishlegs protested.

"See? I said 'ghost' was the best costume," Snotlout snarked, reappearing. Astrid almost growled at him, trying to pick bits of shell out of her blonde braid.

"You could have warned us," she snapped.

"I did warn you," the stocky dragon rider reminded her. "And then I ran away."

"How did Toothless get here?" Tuffnut asked, peering at the Night Fury. "Not that we're not pleased to see you, T-even if you are more cute than fearsome or terrifying..." Predictably, Hiccup looked offended on his dragon's behalf.

"He's incredibly fearsome and terrifying...he's just off duty and undercover now," he protested. "He wouldn't let me go out without him-and he can hide like no other dragon."

"Except and Changewing which goes invisible," Fishlegs pointed out.

"Okay, granted," Hiccup sighed.

"Or a Titanwing Dramillion...they can go invisible as well..." Fishlegs piped up.

"THANK YOU, FISHLEGS," Hiccup repeated more loudly. "So do we want to go back, clean up and get some pizza or..."

"Trick or treat! Trick or treat!" the twins chanted.

"Me too!" Snotlout added. "I'm not having Shrublout calling me a cissy at Thanksgiving again..."

"Again?" Astrid asked, an eyebrow arched.

"Well, he came up behind me last year with a banger and scared me and..."

"And you scream like a little girl," Fishlegs finished for him. Snotlout gathered himself up, looking wounded.

"I..."

"Votes on who thinks Snotlout screams like a little girl!" Tuffnut shouted. Every hand except Snot's went up-and even Toothless raised a paw with a playful look on his face. "Six-one!"

"Shut up Tuffnut!" Snotlout sulked as Hiccup turned to Astrid.

"Milady?" She graced him with a smile.

"I say go on," she said. "I'm not letting a bunch of snotty-nosed cocky little Jorgensens get the better of me...no offence..."

"Shut up, Astrid," Snotlout grumped.

So they headed along the road and round into the main part of the town. The suburbs were traditional with pumpkin lamps at every front door and a variety of signs up welcoming or warning trick or treaters. Hiccup thought the pumpkin bunting across the street was a nice touch. There were small groups of young children trailing around with a responsible adult, all knocking on doors and saying 'trick or treat' in that unique sing-song way that only kids can manage. And the twins were rubbing their hands in glee at the sight of the treats they were receiving.

"This actually feels wrong," Hiccup pointed out. "I mean, I know it's only been a handful of years since we left Berk High but we're grown-ups now, adults who should know better. And if we carry on, we're stealing treats from young kids who may be going out for the first time."

"And the point is?" Snotlout asked. "They always have some candy over..."

"Not always," Hiccup pointed out. "This is Dragon's Leap-it's a poorer neighbourhood. We can afford to buy our own treats-we all have jobs-but these people here save up and buy sweets for their neighbours' kids, not to feed a bunch of greedy adults."

There was a pool of silence.

"Way to bring the mood down, Hiccy," Ruff grumbled. "Next, you'll be suggesting that we go visit old ladies and help some kittens out of trees."

"Erm...Toothless usually gets them down anyway. He likes cats," Hiccup replied easily. Astrid was looking at him with an exasperated but fond expression.

"You're a good man," she said. He smiled slightly, a lopsided smile tugging at her heart.

"I try," he murmured. "But really..."

A hail of water-bombs, rotten tomatoes and flour pelted them as Hedgelout's sons and their friends erupted from an overgrown front garden. Snotlout ran for it...and found himself in a trap, hanging by his ankle from the tree behind them.

"HAHAHAHA!" oneyelled

"Stupid Snotlout!"

"And his nerdy stupid friends!"

"To think people used to talk about Astrid Hofferson...and Hiccup...what a disappointment..."

And then they ran off.

Hiccup wiped tomato pulp off his face.

"Astrid-could you kindly cut Snotlout down?" he asked as she hefted her axe-a real one, not a prop-and sliced through the rope attaching Snotlout to the tree with one fell swing. He landed on his head, whined and cussed.

"What now, Babe?" she asked as she turned back to him. Hiccup whistled through his teeth and Toothless bounded round the corner, a low growl vibrating in his throat as he saw his rider.

"I think we need to watch what they're up to...and you're coming with me," he said, swinging into the Night Fury's saddle. "Toothless is a Night Fury and he owns the Night. So we'll follow them and see what they have planned. They came prepared and I doubt they're intent on anything but trouble."

"Ah no...I told you he could ruin anything," Tuffnut groaned. "Now we're doing good instead of trick or treating..."

"Fish, Tuff, Ruff, Snot-get cleaned up at Sven's Viking Pizza-it's at the end of the road," Hiccup said. "We'll meet you there." Astrid sat behind him and wrapped her arms around his lean middle. "Ready, Milady?"

"Always, Babe," she confirmed. He grinned.

"Let's go, bud," he said. "Toothless-sky!"

And then, with one flap of the dragon's great wings, they vanished into the inky gloom.

Snotlout groaned and rubbed his head.

"Next time, I'm staying at home," he complained as Fishlegs swatted his arm.

"What do you mean? This was your idea..." he accused the stocky rider as they trudged up the street.

-o0o-

By the time they had cleaned up and ordered sodas and french fries, Hiccup and Astrid were back. Fishlegs slid a chocolate and mint shake over to Hiccup and a carbonated water to Astrid as they slumped at the corner table the gang were occupying.

"They're laying a trap for us at the end of Grimbeard Boulevard," the auburn-haired rider reported. "Astrid called Stormfly and she's watching them. Hookfang came as well. I think he recognised the scents..."

"They're Jorgensens...a dragon would have to have its nose amputated to miss that smell!" Tuff commented and high-fived his sister.

"Hey!" Snotlout protested. "But yeah-they're not very good at baths...none of that side of the family are..."

"Astrid and I have a plan...but we need decoys to draw them out..." Hiccup said.

"I'll be with you," Snotlout interrupted. "Hookie wouldn't want anything to happen to his rider. My faithful fangster..."

"Actually...you're the prime bait," Astrid pointed out. "They seem to be after you. So we will uphold the good name of your branch of the family."

"You are my cousin," Hiccup reminded him.

"And they did hit Hiccup," Astrid commented. "Toothless is not happy."

"Okay," Ruff conceded, leaning forward. She knew the teens were lucky not to be facing an angry Night Fury and equally protective Deadly Nadder-because every dragon loved Hiccup. "What's the plan?"

It was about ten minutes later when the twins, Fishlegs and Snotlout were ambling along Grimbeard Boulevard, the wide ceremonial road that ran through the centre of town, up towards the Great Hall. There were lots of wide, mature trees and statues that could provide excellent cover and set back from the road were several fine municipal buildings that provided perfect perches for dragons.

So the five teenage lads, armed with catapults and missiles that looked like they were composed of trash and some unpleasant liquid in balloons. They had already attacked some elderly couple who were walking their chihuahua and a young mother with a pram with a baby in. It had only solidified Hiccup's resolve.

So when the decoys came into range, they lined up their missiles and prepared to attack.

"Now!" Hiccup murmured and gestured. Toothless fired into the air and Stormfly, Hookfang and Hiccup's Terrible Terror, Sharpshot, all swooped and dumped the contents of the Viking Pizza bins on them. They squealed and howled and burst from their cover, staggering. Astrid swooped and rolled, deluging them in waste oil from Gobber's garage-where Hiccup had worked as a boy and still helped out occasionally while Hookfang dive-bombed them with a 'three o'clock' bag-the term for the bright orange bins used to deposit fluorescent dragon poo that they deposited every day at three in the afternoon.

By now, the boys were screaming and wailing, their bravery all forgotten. The twins, Fishlegs and Snotlout were howling with laughter and pointing at the excrement-covered miscreants.

"NOT FAIR!"

"We'll tell Dad!" the largest one-Bushlout-whined. Hiccup landed and glared, looking stern. And at that, everyone shut up. Everyone on Berk recognised the Night Fury, Alpha of Berk and the fastest and most lethal dragon on the island. And his rider, the son of the Mayor of Berk.

"I think you will tell no one-or you will find yourself grounded for six months for breaking the Halloween laws," Hiccup told them. "You're not allowed to prank anyone on public property-and the Boulevard counts." He gestured to them. "Consider this a citizens' arrest!"

For a moment, they looked like they were about to argue, and then they bowed their heads and slunk away...though Fencelout turned and leered at Snotlout.

"You'll be sorry next time we meet," he menaced. Snotlout stroked Hookfang's surprisingly soft nose and gave a nasty grin.

"Really?" he asked as Hookfang briefly flamed up. "I wouldn't talk like that to a man with a dragon that sets itself on fire...when you're drenched in oil. I hear that it burns rather well..." Fencelout paled.

"Just in case, I am certain Spitelout will hear in advance of how Snotlout has helped prevent miscreants ruining Halloween for all the young kids," Hiccup said sternly. "And Hookfang will be there-I will make sure of that."

"Now I would run along-you all really need a shower," Astrid said, thumbing the edge of her axe-blade pointedly. Defeated, the boys ran off. Snotlout sighed.

"Ahhh...were we every that stupid?" he asked superiorly.

"You're that stupid now," Tuff put in.

"But this was much more fun than Trick or Treating," Ruff commented.

"Trick or Treating really is for kids..." Fishlegs admitted.

"But maybe acting as street marshals to ensure that Halloween runs smoothly...that is much better and more suited to our...seniority?" Astrid said with a smirk.

"And we can have our dragons," Snotlout added cheerfully.

"That cape won't last until he gets home-it will be on fire by eight o'clock," Ruff murmured.

""I say it will last until nine," Tuff murmured back. Both spat in their palms and shook hands vigorously.

"It's a wager!"

"You look happier, Babe," Astrid noed, dismounting Stormfly to walk to Hiccup's side.

"I am happier," he admitted. "Trick or treating at our age felt wrong...but keeping an eye on things to make sure they don't get out of hand...especially with our dragons...well, that feels right." Astrid smiled.

"Your Dad would be proud," she reminded him. He chuckled.

"He'd approve of your plan," he admitted. "Give the little tykes a taste of their own medicine! Good For the character!" His voice had adopted the thick Berkian accent of his father and Astrid sniggered. She hugged him.

"With us watching over them, Trick or Treating is going to be much more dangerous than it looks," she smiled.