After a long ten minutes of sobbing, Armin had calmed down to nothing more than a few whimpers and sniffles. I ran my fingers through his hair. "Y/N, my life is over," he cried. "No, it's not," I reassured him. "Yes, it is. Eren read it and I'm completely humiliated. I don't even know what he read but I know what was in that book. I don't think I want to find out either."

"Hey, he didn't mean to. As much as I don't like him, I believed him when he said that. What he read was about your history back home. You know, the stuff about you and your parents. I know it's a touchy subject but I don't know how it compares to whatever else was in there. I'm really sorry to tell you but Eren reading it is not even the worst part."

Armin asked me what I meant and I explained what had happened with Jean and the other boys. I could feel him clench onto my blouse hard. His normal-paced breathing quickly became hyperventilating. Tears couldn't even come out of his eyes anymore, so all he could do was bawl. Loud, in fact, I had wished that I had covered my ears.

"God, I need to end my life right here and now. I'm miserable, I can't deal with this anymore. Nothing is getting better, in fact, life just continues to increasingly get worse," he cried as he grabbed a relatively stick and held it up to his chest. He was clearly overreacting, letting his emotions get the best of him. It was terrifying to see him in that state. I didn't want him to hurt himself. I couldn't let that happen. I gently held onto the stick and Armin begged me to let go. Finally, tears began pouring out of his eyes. It hurt to even make eye contact with him. I could feel his pain, second hand. 

Armin released his grasp from the stick and I threw it into a bush. I continued to reassure him, regretting telling him about what Jean had done in the first place. "You don't get what was in there," he kept telling me. "I know, but that doesn't matter. You shouldn't care about what they think. I mean, you're in love with me, right? You're not in love with them. The opinion of your significant other should be the only opinion that matters to you."

He knew I was right. Should he really care about the opinions of a bunch of boys he'll never see again in years to come? A year was a long time, though. Could he really endure bullying from his peers for that long? He was weak, mentally, in his opinion. He felt like he was already on the verge of life and death. He was okay with whatever fate had planned for him. If he died he died and if he lived he lived. Life was miserable. 

"They're judging me, Y/N," he said, "They know my secrets. They know things I didn't even trust myself with knowing. Regardless of whether or not they bother me, I'll always know they're judging me and that alone is enough to fill me with the feeling humiliation." I replied, "Well, they aren't secrets anymore. Be strong and prove yourself wrong. Exercise your willpower by teaching yourself not to worry about things you can't control. Be the mature, bigger person in this."

Level headed Armin was incredibly mature. I mean, he seemed to only lose his way when it came to personal matters, and he didn't really reveal much to others. I could see why everyone thought he always had everything together, albeit he really didn't sometimes. He was good at putting on a mask for others. It was nice that he could at least be honest with himself around me, even though it hurt to see him upset. 

"You've been through more than anybody else has. I know you can do this," I said as I smiled warmly at him and began to wipe his tears away with the side of my hand. "I promise that everything will be okay. Take a deep breath in and then out." Armin nodded and did as I told him to do. "Y/N, I don't know if I can do this," he whimpered. At least he wasn't actively crying anymore. I told him, "I know you can. You're so so strong. Again, this is just another low in life. In years to come, this won't mean anything to you anymore. I know it sucks to experience shit like this in the moment but it's so insignificant in the bigger picture."

"Could we just stay in your time forever?" he asked, surprising me. I felt like Armin wasn't usually the type to run away from his problems involving friends. Sure, he constantly ran away from his internal issues but he was usually pretty confrontational when it came to his friend group. I remembered how he responded to the situation involving Eren and Jean. I wanted him to stay far away from them but he was so adamant about confronting the problems he had with Eren. It was odd to see him running away from Eren, for the first time.  

"Well, not forever. If you want, we can stay at my house for a while. Wanna do that?" I asked, oblivious to the fact that my father told me I shouldn't go home again. Home was dangerous and I'd be putting us at risk. I wasn't thinking, though. "Can we go now?" he asked, "I don't want to see anyone here, right now. I'm mad and sad and just so many emotions right now. I can't even put it all into words." I giggled, "I can see that." He was never very good at hiding his feelings from me. I could read him like an open book. 

I stood up and pulled him up with me, then picking the journal up off of the ground. I handed it to him. "This is for you. Make sure you put it somewhere safe." Armin thanked me for not reading it. Sure, part of me was curious and wanted to know what it said. I knew it was wrong to read it, though. I could never forgive myself for invading his privacy like that. I drew a portal. Armin clung onto my arm as I pulled him through the portal, leading us into my house. As soon as I turned around, Armin fell to his knees and looked up at me with puppy eyes. 

"I'll do anything to stay. Anything."

"You don't have to do anything, Armin."

"But, will you let me stay?"

"Not forever but for a while," I replied with a sympathetic look.