Hours after Armin and I had fallen asleep, I woke up to a loud breathing sound. I winced, sitting up. I lit my lantern, placing it on the night table beside my bed. The metal on it made a clanking noise as I put it down on the wooden nightstand. "Armin, are you okay?" I whispered. I placed a hand on his shoulder, not fully aware of what was going on. He shook excessively, hyperventilating. That's when I realized it was probably a night terror. This was my fault. I left him and he got worse. I pulled him over onto his back so I could see his face. His bottom lip quivered, eyes spewing out tears of terror, and hands clawing at both of his shoulders. I got close to him and held his face in my hands. "Armin, look at me," I directed. 

His eyes wandered around the room. "Look at me," I repeated. He looked me straight in the eyes with a look of horror on his face. It almost made me want to crawl up in a ball and cry, but I didn't. I knew I had to be there for him, even more than ever. I left him last time. I caressed his burning cheeks with my thumb. "Just take deep breaths, okay? You'll be alright, Armin. Are you able to say something to me?" I asked calmly. Armin did as I said and began trying to take deep breaths, albeit hard. He coughed, trying to control his breathing. "Y/N, I-I don't feel good," he stammered, saying a few inaudible words at the end of his sentence. I wiped his tears away with my thumb, just to have them reappear again. His breathing had slowed down to a shaky exhale. He sniffled a bit, in between every other ragged breath.

"Is there anything I can do to help?"

"I just need a hug," he whimpered, reaching out to me. "Of course," I replied, grabbing him and holding him close. I never wanted to let go of him. I felt as if he'd only be safe if he was in my arms, I wanted to hold him forever. "Just let me know if there's anything else I could do," I told him. "Could you just draw on my back for now?" he requested. I said I would. I blew out the lantern and lay down. Armin sat up and shakily took off his long-sleeved shirt and threw it on the ground, then lay down turning his back towards me.

"I'm sorry I made you go through this, Armin. It's all my fault."

Armin didn't respond, probably because it was true, I thought. It was me who left. He never left me. I left him, even after I promised to stay. I drew lines all over his hot burning back, using my finger. The coolness of my finger compared to his burning body made him shiver. It was about an hour before we both fell asleep. It was 4 am. I could hear a was a small whimper coming from beside me. I lit the lantern, again. "Armin, you okay?" I asked. He didn't respond. Was he awake? I peered over his rolled-over body to look at him. He was sleeping but he looked upset. Armin rolled around, moaning and whimpering. It was probably another night terror, but this time he just didn't wake up. I felt terrible. He looked so scared and I didn't like seeing him like that. It hurt me. I held his shaky hand. "I'm sorry, Armin," I whispered as I slowly drifted back to sleep. I prayed he could sleep well. 

The alarming wake-up bell rang from a distance. It was the second bell. I knew that because I ignored the first. I was exhausted. I had stayed up a few extra hours last night, just thinking. Armin turned over, facing me. "Which bell was that?" he groaned, eyes still closed. I told him it was the second bell. "Ugh, I just want to sleep all day," he mumbled. 

"Same. We can stay here a little while longer."

"Good."

He nuzzled up close to me. I'd missed the way he smelled, his warm touch and gentle aura. "Did you sleep well, Y/N?" he asked. I let out a sigh, louder than anticipated. I replied, "no, you?" He told me he didn't sleep very well either. All of a sudden, he asked me, "Y/N, are we like together again?" I asked him what he meant. "Like as close as we were before. Dating," he explained. "Of course, if you feel comfortable with that," I answered. 

"Oh, I do. I was just making sure. I know it's been many months, but I've still been thinking about the plans we made for the expedition. We were going to, you know, do couple things together, and I've been thinking about that a lot. I know we just got back together but I want you to know that I'm still in that mindset. I'm ready to be intimate with you when you're ready. I'd love to do things, you know, as a pair," he said, fading into silence.

"What kind of things were you thinking of?" 

I knew exactly what he was talking about but I just wanted to hear it come from him. "I-I don't know. Maybe not dirty things at first, but I do want those things with you too," he stammered. I giggled, "I get it, it's fine. I'd love to work towards being intimate with you. While we're on that topic, I want you to know that I never ended up sleeping with anyone while we weren't together. If I'm being honest, I did try to but every time something stopped things from going too far. I feel like that was the universe's way of telling me to wait for you. Anyways, I just wanted you to know that. I do still want to do intimate things with you, though," I concluded. 

"O-Okay, well I'm glad to hear that. Y/N, I wanna take you on dates and go on trips with you. I want to kiss and hug you. I want to carry you and tell you you're my everything..." he trailed off, then exclaimed, "oh, but only if you want to!" I into his beautiful blue eyes. 

"Of course I want to Armin. I want to do everything with you."

"Oh!" he yelped while sitting up and fiddling around in his pocket. "What?" I asked, sitting up beside him. He put out his hand, fist-like. "Put your hand underneath mine," he ordered. I did as he said and he dropped a cold metal feeling object into my hand. Once he moved his hand, I got a clear look at what he had given me. It was my bracelet, the one I told him to give back when I loved him again. It couldn't have been better timing.

"You kept it?"

He looked down at his knees nervously.

"Y-Yes, you do love me again, right?"

"I love you so much, Armin," I said as I hugged him, holding him close.

"Thank you for keeping it."

"I mean I had to, it was the only hope I had left for us."

"I'm so grateful we found our way back together. I love you."