I didn't eat much for dinner. The food I was once so used to eating now tasted inedible to me. I left the mess hall early and went back to my cabin to sit on my porch. I closed my eyes and listened to absolute nothingness. It was a cool winter night. I heard footsteps approaching the stairs and opened my eyes. It was someone in a huge, fluffy snow coat. I couldn't really make out their face because it was dark. It'd been getting darker earlier now. The person sat down beside me and took off their hood. It was Armin.

"Sorry," he apologized, "I'm probably not the person you would've wanted to see right now. I just thought you seemed a bit off during dinner." "Yeah you could say that," I muttered. He looked over at me and smiled warmly. For some reason, it calmed me. He asked me what was wrong and I replied, "just the usual, you know. I don't remember much so I'm having trouble coping with things." All of a sudden, he looked really happy. "Much? You mean you've remembered something?" he squealed with joy. "A bit, but not a lot," I told him. He looked at me in excitement written all over his face.

I figured I should probably talk to him about it. I asked him if we could go inside and talk and he agreed. We got up together. His brownish, long coat was ridiculous, but it was cute. I got a sudden flash. It was of Armin in some blackish-grey dress pants and a white blouse, with a tan vest over top. That's right. That was my favorite outfit of his. I felt a bit dizzy like I was losing my balance. Armin asked if I was okay and I assured him I was. He still stood exactly where he was before. I opened the cabin door and gestured to him, inviting him in. He walked inside and closed the door behind me. He was so chivalrous and I really admired that about him. 

Both of us took off our winter gear and sat down on my couch. I paused for a brief moment, looking into space. It was another memory flash. That's what I decided to call them, at that time. I remembered sitting on the couch with Armin one day. I remember I was trying to get to know him. I remember he told me about his heartbreaking upbringing. Thinking about it brought back a sense of shock and despair. I felt sick. "Y-Y/N, you don't look so good. Are you alright?" Armin asked me, seeming worried. 

"Yes, I'm fine."

"I hope so. So what have you remembered?" he said with a tone of desperation in his voice. I tried thinking back to what I remembered. "Well, I've been remembering things at random. Actually, they seem to be coming back when a similar event triggers a memory that relates to it. When we hugged back when we had our talk in the mountain cabin, I remembered your touch, your smell. It just seemed really familiar to me. When I was walking down to the mess hall today, I remembered when I used to walk down to the mess hall with you. I remembered telling you what cabin I was in so that you could come over if you needed some quiet time. Just now, I remembered when you came over and sat on this couch with me. You confessed some of the really horrible things that happened to you as a kid and I remember how much that hurt me. Even now, it makes me feel upset," I explained. "Well, there's no need for you to feel upset because that's honestly a really good start. I think it's useful for us to know that similar events trigger your memories. We can use that to get them back. Is that all you've remembered, so far?" he asked. I told him it was. He seemed a little disappointed and so was I. But, as he said, it was a good start. 

"Sorry, I wish I could remember more. Retrieving memories is beyond my abilities," I reassured him. 

"I know."

He looked down at his feet, seeming very self-conscious. I was feeling very overwhelmed and tired, so I told him I was thinking of heading to bed soon. 

"I'll leave, sorry."

He got up and grabbed his jacket. "Hey Armin?" I called out at him. He looked back quickly as if I had remembered everything and his life could go back to normal. "Yes?" he shouted. 

"Could you tell Eren to drop by?" 

His expression became sad and he turned around. "S-Sure. Goodnight, Y/N. I hope you sleep well," he said as he opened the door and started to walk outside. I got up and felt a cold, distant breeze hit my body. He called out my name. I asked him what it was and he told me he loved me. Before I could say anything in return, he ran out, letting the door close behind himself. We were in love so it made sense for him to still love me. I sat down on my bed and waited for Eren. 

It was snowing heavily outside. Armin pushed through the deep, thick snow, back to his old cabin. He removed his possessions from my cabin back to his, a few days ago. He opened the door to his cabin, letting a big gust of wind blow in. Eren was laying on his bed. "Eren, Y/N wants you to stop by," he said robotically while he took off his winter gear. "I don't feel like it," Eren stated. Armin looked at him. "You better go, Eren. She'll think I didn't tell you if you don't. Just please, go for me?" he begged. Armin hung up his coat and sat down on his bed.

"Do I have to?"

"Please, Eren?"

Eren rolled his eyes, getting up with a groan. "Fine," he said, "but if it was for nothing I'll be pissed." He got on his jacket and boots and headed for my cabin. In reality, Armin didn't want him to go. He wished he could be with me again. His nights were starting to get restless again. And, in the honest truth, Eren didn't want to go either. Ever since that last free period we had, he'd been scared of our relationship. He felt guilty about his attraction towards me and felt as if he'd be betraying Armin. He didn't want to visit me because he was afraid of not being able to control himself, again. 

I heard a knock on my door. It opened and Eren walked in, slamming it behind him. He took off his coat and hung it up. "What is Y/N? It better be important," he growled. I told him I wanted us to bring things back to where we left off, which he interpreted incorrectly. "You're going back to Armin?" he exclaimed. "No, not like that. Like what we were doing earlier," I explained. He grabbed his coat and started putting it back on again. "This was a mistake coming," he hissed. 

I ran up and stopped him with a kiss. His hand dropped from the doorknob. I released the kiss and looked at him in the eyes. He stood there thinking for a minute. "Fuck it," he said. He decided to give into his senses. He'd never been with a girl before but he desperately wanted to. He took off his coat and shoved me onto my bed, crawling overtop of me. He took off my shirt and me kissed down my neck and chest. I giggled at the ticklish feeling it was giving me. He undid my pants and pulled them down, leaving me in only my bra and underwear. He looked at my breasts. I wanted to turn the tables. I wanted to be in charge. I got on top of him, flipping him over onto his back. I pulled his shirt and pants off and felt his warm defined chest. I was sitting right on top of his bulging netherregions. He pulled me in for a kiss. This kiss lasted way longer. You playfully nudged at his erection, hiding in his boxers. He moaned throughout the kiss.

"You're killing me, Y/N!" he groaned. "Sorry," I purred. I crawled down, facing his groin. I pulled down his boxers, completely exposing his hard penis. "Hey, I'll do this one," he told me. Deep inside, he did feel bad. This wasn't his place, it was Armin's. I whined and crawled back over his chest. He kissed me hard as he stroked his cock beneath me. With every single stroke he moaned and winced at the beautiful release he was finally getting. He'd been pent up for so long until now. This had only been his second time masturbating. The boys' cabin was almost always occupied so he never got the opportunity to do so there. He pried his lips from mine, looking flustered. With one final stroke he sent himself into a world of bliss. He came all over my stomach and twitched a bit after, from the power of the orgasm. He closed his eyes and felt me sit on his lap. I grabbed his penis and positioned it at my entrance.

"Y-Y/N, what the hell?" he yelled. "Oh, come on. I haven't even gotten to do anything yet," I whined. He pushed me off of himself and quickly put his clothes back on. "This was so wrong. I regret ever coming. Now I've fucked up my friendship with Armin, great. Just fucking great! All over some stupid girl," he screamed in rage. 

"Really? You're bringing up Armin again? You know this world seems to revolve around him alone. I don't give a fuck about him right now. He's taken everything I've wanted to have with you and it's frustrating."

"Don't you dare blame him! He's the one who loves you more than anything else! This is our fault. We did this to him."

Eren opened the door.

"You owe him a million apologies. You should be ashamed of yourself. Hell, even I'm ashamed of myself. Never come in my sight again. I hate you. I wish you never came into my life."

He slammed the door shut and ran out into the frozen forest. I felt myself beginning to cry. Why? Why did I have to forget? This would have never happened if it weren't for me. For the remainder of the night, both Armin and I felt sick. Neither of us could sleep.