Dinner was horrible. Everything tasted more miserably disgusting than usual. The mashed potatoes had skin pieces in it, the bread was rock hard, and the water was salty. I tried my best to act at least somewhat happy. I smiled when he smiled, laughed when he laughed, and tried to enjoy myself while I could. It didn't look like Armin could see through my upgraded disguise. After dinner, Armin and I cleaned up after ourselves then left the mess-hall. Winter was just around the corner. A frigid, dense mist hovered above the ground which we walked on. "Y/N, can I say something?" Armin asked. We stopped walking. "Can you please listen?" he said with blatant frustration in his voice. I didn't even look at him once. I just replied, "sure."
"Um, well, here it goes. I was wondering if for the next little while I could sleep in your cabin, with you. I know it's a lot to ask for but could you please try and consider it? This all sounds so stupid, I'm so sorry," he explained. "Go ahead, you can stay as long as you want," I replied bluntly, beginning to walk again.

"R-Really? I'm not trying to be clingy, it's just that I feel like I sleep better... with you."

His voice faded into the sounds of the wind. I looked up at him strangely, wondering if maybe, just maybe, he had feelings for me. I was quick to convince myself otherwise. I began to feel bad about what I was planning to do. We walked up onto the porch and into my cabin. I lit a lantern, then yanked up the covers on my bed. I lay down facing the wall, turning my back to Armin. I could feel the pressure of him laying down beside me on the mattress. He pulled the duvet over the both of us and moved closer to me, cuddling up to my back. I could feel the warmth of his breath on the back of my neck. Just then, I had set my plan. I would leave after he fell asleep.

***

I had stayed up so late. It took several hours for me to be sure that Armin was sleeping. I turned over cautiously, making sure not to wake him up. From what I could tell, he was fast asleep. His smooth skin reflected an orangey glow in the light of the still-lit lantern. I knew that I was really going to miss him, more than I should at this stage of our relationship, our friendship. I slipped out of and then on top of the covers, crawling over him as vigilantly as possible. Once I was standing firmly on my own two feet, I grabbed a pen and paper off of the nightstand. I began to write a letter addressed to Armin.

Dear Armin (or anyone else who may be concerned),

I had to leave. I'm sorry that this had to happen with such short notice. I just couldn't bear to stay any longer. I need to be at home, in my time. It's what's right for me and everyone else. Being around everyone in 850 has made me lose a sense of my own time. I really enjoyed my time here so thank you for being so kind to me. I'll miss you, have a great life. I wish you good luck in pursuing your greatest dreams.

Sincerely,
Y/N

Once I finished quietly sketching out my letter, I folded it and placed it on the nightstand. I then tiptoed across the cabin floor, making the least amount of noise possible. Opening my suitcase, I made sure everything was there. I then zipped it up, forgetting that Armin was sleeping. The sound of the zip was a lot louder then I had planned. It woke up Armin. I turned around to face Armin and I froze. I saw him turn over to face me and his eyes opened. "Y/N, is that you?" he grumbled. I couldn't respond. I was too scared that he would discover my intentions. "W-What are you doing?" he asked me. I smiled nervously, looking at the letter I had put on the nightstand. "I- I um, I um... I'm just getting something from my bag," I assured him, completely lying. I knew it was wrong.

He looked over at the obvious note on the night table and grabbed it. I completely froze, my heart dropping. "Dear Armin or anyone else who may be concerned. What's this?" he asked, sitting up and seeming more alert. "Armin please don't open it I can explain-," I blurted out as a final effort in getting away with leaving. He opened it. His attitude immediately changed. His precious little lips began to quiver and his eyes started to water. I felt as if I had just been shot in the stomach. Everything had just backfired. "You're leaving?" Armin whimpered.

"No, don't cry, please," I begged, but it was too late. He dropped the paper and burst into tears, biting his lip to try to hide muffle his cries. I immediately got up and ran over to him. I sat down on the bed and hugged him tightly. I tried to call out his name but I was interrupted. He pushed me off of him and yelled, "you weren't even going to tell me? I thought we were closer than this, Y/N. W-Why were you going to leave?"

"I- I..."

"No, you can't leave! I know it's being selfish but I can't let you leave!" he screamed at me. I admit it did scare me a bit. "W-Why?" he kept whispering, in a panic.

"Why do you care about me so much? Why not that beautiful girl you were talking so much about? I'm just some girl you met not too long ago. I'm not anything significant to you, nor will I ever be. You should care about putting more effort into things with her than me."

I realized that I had gone a bit far. He had found out my intentions. He looked at me in disbelief and muttered, "what?"

"That girl you were talking about a day ago, remember? You're not stupid, I know you know exactly what I'm talking about," I answered angrily. Tears were beginning to form in the corners of my eyes. "That girl was you, Y/N! It's you!" he yelled back at me in a rage. He then covered his face with his hands. I could hear his smothered sobs and I watched as tears trickled over his hands and down his forearms. I came to the realization that he truly meant what he was saying. He seemed so genuine and it all felt too honest. It was surreal. I was so confused and couldn't understand why he would crush on someone that looked like me.

"Me? The girl you like is me?" I questioned in a quieter tone. "I-I... I really love you, Y/N. I love everything about you like I honestly never thought I'd meet someone like you until I met you," he yelped. I could feel my face getting hotter. "Y-You... you love me?" I stammered. Armin quickly took his hands off of his face and looked at me. I could tell that he was mad from the expression on his face. I did not know that he could look like so, until then. "Yes!" he screamed, "you're the first person who's ever cared for me. The first who's been nice and who's listened to me about my pathetic problems. You were there when nobody else was. Y-you're funny and so interesting to talk to. I love hearing about your day and all of the experiences you've shared with me. You're the most beautiful girl I've ever seen and you're so perfect to me in every way. I don't think I can bear to see you go, it just hurts too much!" He recovered his face with his hands.

I was speechless. I used the back of my right hand to wipe away my tears. I sat on my knees and moved closer to him, grabbing his trembling, warm, tear covered hands, pulling them off of his face. He looked devastated and I could tell that I had really hurt him. His big blue eyes looked painfully at me. I crawled onto his lap and gave him a tight hug. "I wanted to leave because I thought you didn't have feelings for me. I really do love you too, Armin. That's why I couldn't bear to see you with any other girl. I'm selfish, I know. I'm sorry," I told him. "R-Really? I'm... I'm so happy," he cried. I released the hug and grabbed his cheeks, making eye contact. I gently kissed him on the cheek, making his face turn a bright shade of pinkish-red. "Y/N, are you still going to leave me?" he asked. "No, I won't leave you," I responded with confidence.

"Promise?"

I then hugged him, holding him as tight as I could. "Promise," I reassured him.