"GUYS, GUYS, I think Karim has a girlfrieeeend," Jese screamed after practice one day.

"Woah, what?" Toni asked, stopping in his tracks.

Gareth wiped his brow and detached himself from the animated conversation he was having with Cristiano, "Karim? Our Karim?"

James immediately seized the opportunity and put his arm around Cristiano's sweaty neck, sticking his tongue out at Gareth "No way, Jese, you're bluffing."

Jese rolled his eyes and then gestured excitedly, "Don't look now but he's texting her right now."

Everyone turned to see Karim slightly smiling at his phone, texting away rapidly.

"He could be texting his Mom?" Marcelo butted in.

Jese raised an eyebrow, "From what I remember Karim hates texting. The only person he ever texts with is Raphael and no, I already called Raphael and asked him. Karim hasn't been texting him."

"Oh my God," Cristiano gasped. "You're right. In the previous meeting, all he did was tap away at his phone."

"I know right?" Jese squealed, excited again at gaining a supporter to his theory. "And his phone pings all the time. It's getting on my nerves to be honest."

"Nah, I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation for his phone ringing," Toni said.

"Yeah," Jese snorted, "he has a girlfriend."

Navas agreed with Toni, "We shouldn't jump to conclusions."

Marcelo smiled wickedly, "You're right, I'm going to ask him!"

Turned out, he wasn't really going to ask. He ran at top speed towards Karim who was obliviously walking ahead and plucked the phone out of his hands and ran back at double the speed.

Everyone, yes, everyone crowded around him for a glance at the mystery woman.

"He isn't texting her," Isco whispered.

"He's snapchatting her!" Nacho whispered in a surprised tone.

From somewhere far off, Karim whined "Guys, please, give it back."

"Like omg that is so cute?" Isco was fast dissolving into a fangirling mess. "It's just so goals. And AW SHE HAS A NICKNAME FOR HIM, karim parim whatever that is."

"What's her name?" Pepe tried to grab the phone.

Marcelo tried to make sense of the app and failed, "What is this app? I can't make sense of it?"

Arbeloa, the love guru, suavely explained, "Snapchat is a photo-messaging app which people use to message pics with short captions to each other, often displaying their horribly ugly sides as the pics have a short lifespan and can't be screenshotted without a notification. People can post 24 hr long picture stories but all most people use it for is sending dickpics and sexting."

Toni looked traumatised, "KARIM HAS BEEN SEXTING?"

Isco was still starry-eyed, "I ship them. I'm gonna name their ship, okay? Just tell me what she is called?"

Toni was still shaking his head, "Karim has been sexting?"

Karim walked to the group, "Guys, guys, party's over. Let me have my phone back."

Toni looked at him, "Karim, have you been sexting?"

Karim nearly tripped, "What the fuck? Why would you say that? Of course not."

Isco hugged him, "Congrats, brother, you finally got yourself a girl. I'm so proud. You've grown up so well."

"What is he talking about?" Karim was so confused.

Cristiano smiled, "We know your little snapchatting secret. Congratulations, Karim."

"Wha-?"

Marcelo chuckled, "Yes, we know all about your dickpics and Shah-Sha-how do you pronounce this girl's name?"

"MY WHAT PICS?" Karim looked as if he was going to burst a vein. He grabbed his phone back and stared at the screen and then looked up at his expectant teammates.

Silence. Dead silence. Excited yet dead silence.

"Guys," Karim whined, "that's just Shaheen."

"Omg they can be called Hashtag Sharim," Isco cried.

"What?" the forward was still confused.

"You don't call your girlfriend just Shaheen!" Nacho said.

Gareth squeezed Karim's shoulder, "I know, we couldn't believe it at first too."

"Ya Allah, you all think she's my girlfriend!?"

Marcelo smirked, "So can we see how she looks?"

"Okay, you all, stop," Karim began. "Just wait and listen to to me. We started talking BY ACCIDENT. We've never met. She is a RAPHAEL FAN. We-we are not together in any way. And no, Toni, I haven't been sexting. And no, Marcelo, I haven't been sending her dickpics. I just sent her a shirtless pic once-"

"AHA!" Marcelo punched the air.

"-and that was A MISTAKE!"

Tingggg!

> Karim

raphaelvarrane sent you a pic!

It was dramatic picture of her clutching her heart with the caption,

"OHMYGOD WHY IS MARCELO CUTIE SNAPCHATTING ME FROM YOUR PHONE!?? ME LIKEY"

Jese screamed, "Take a screenshot, Marcelo, I can't see her well from here!!"

> Shaheen

karimbenzema took a screenshot!

> Karim

raphaelvarrane sent you a message.

"YOU BALD FUCKER, WHY DID YOU TAKE A SCREENSHOT!?"

[ OMG #SHARIM IS LITERALLY SO HILARIOUSLY CUTE XD

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