[just for funsies]

----

Warm sand squished between Umbra’s toes as he threw up his hands, grinning wide as he faced the rest of his family.

“After twelve and a half hours, we're here! Now, I'm not sure what the rest of you want to do, but I'm going to sit out on a beach chair with a glass of champagne and soak in the sun.”

“Did you remember sunscreen, Dad?” Victor suddenly said, knitting his brow as Umbra began to sweat. “I don't want a repeat of our first mission. I'm not rubbing aloe lotion all over you for another week.”

“Interesting criticism, sweetie!” Umbra said shrilly, rubbing his chin. Matthew barely managed to conceal a snort.

“I'm going to go swim out in the ocean. I've been itching to swim in something that's not Alcorith Horizon’s cold lap pool,” Matthew said, pulling off his shirt, “Anyone with me?”

“I will join you, Father,” Seraph said, taking a step towards Matthew’s side, “Swimming sounds enjoyable.”

Victor tapped the tips of his fingers together. “I just want to get some sea shells.”

Cackling, Aunora snatched Victor around the chest, lifting him up. “I'll help you find some cool stuff, kiddo.”

Esper shuffled awkwardly. “Mr. Umbra, may I sit with you? I don't really want to get in the water.”

Umbra grinned, letting his hand rest on Esper’s shoulder. “Of course.”

----

“Look, Mom!” Victor shouted, pointing excitedly at the water, “There's a little fish! It swam by my toe! And there's another fish!”

“You don’t get out much, do you kid?” Aunora said with a playful smirk.

“I just really like fish,” Victor replied, rubbing his wrists.

Aunora’s eyes flashed. “Wanna see a real fish?”

He dug his toes into the sand, and then shrugged. “I think?”

Aunora pressed her hands onto Victor’s shoulders. “Alright, sit tight for a sec.”

Victor crouched in the water, grimacing as cold ocean water licked at his waist. He rested his head on his knees as Aunora sprinted ahead, barreling victoriously through the water, fists out.

Aunora suddenly leapt into the air, slamming her knees into an unfortunate patch of ocean. The water turned foggy as she disturbed the sand, and then sprung up, cackling.

“Victor!” she howled as she maneuvered back to him, hands concealed behind her back. “Victor, Victor, look!”

Grinning, she pulled her arm into view, clutching a writhing, adolescent shark in her fist. “Look at it, kid! It's a shark! Isn't that cool?”

The color drained from Victor’s face. “There are sharks here?!” he squeaked, stumbling away from Aunora.

“Yeah, it's the ocean.”

Victor jumped to his feet, running for the shore. “I'm gonna, uh, look for shells on the beach. Where I can't get eaten by sharks.”

I thought everyone liked sharks, Aunora thought, bewildered. Sighing, she flung the shark over her shoulder and trudged towards Victor.

---

“Looks like Victor’s having fun,” Umbra murmured, taking a sip from his glass. “Did you want a drink, Esper?”

“I don't think I'm legally allowed to, Mr. Umbra.”

Umbra slipped his sunglasses down his nose. “Aren't you several hundred years old?”

“That's not good enough for the humans, apparently,” Esper muttered, his hush voice laced with a hint of bitterness.

“By the way, why didn't you want to swim? Is it hard when you're blind?”

“I hate the water. That’s one old nature spirit tradition I never got rid of. The nature and water spirits have been quarreling for thousands of years.”

“Sounds petty,” Umbra said, leaning towards Esper, obviously invested.

“All the Mothers are so catty, okay? Gaea’s a complete idiot, Myrkr has a smart mouth, Atlantis is a snob, and Celeste? Well, she can shove that ‘loving goddess’ schtick straight up her-” Esper blushed, falling back into his chair and covering his cheeks. “Oh my, that was uncouth. Forgive me.”

Umbra flashed Esper a toothy grin, a mischievous light in his eyes. “No, no, it's fine. I love some spicy drama. I could fill a book up with all the petty stuff that went on in the Southern Fae kingdom.”

Esper frowned. “Really?”

“You know those fantasy t.v. dramas about royal families with the overlapping family trees that are constantly trying to kill each other?” Umbra took a long sip of his drink, “Yeah, it's exactly like that. I'm surprised we've lasted this long as a civilization."

Esper nodded knowingly.

an: i actually could not think of a funny scenario for matt and ser? if anyone has any comedic antics for them i will continue this