You were building your Minecraft house, humming along to the beautiful Minecraft song. So peaceful! The smell of the decomposing bodies in your room was too much to handle. Yes, you were a murderer in real life, but in Minecraft, you were a saint, until this day.
It was your first day on Minecraft and you had already spent the whole day building a mansion. Then...the bane of your existence showed up. A creeper. The green and black monster smiled at you sinisterly and put his hands on his hips. "Hello, (Y/N)," He chuckled. "I'm about to ruin your life." His chuckle turned into a cackle as he squatted. You saw the bomb inching out ever so slowly out of the Creeper's hairy anus. The Creeper's name was Swollen.
Swollen smirked and flexed his muscles. "Are you ready?"
You stood up in real life, stepping in the mouth of one of your many victims. Maybe the person weren't fully dead yet.
You screeched. "No! Don't do that!"
The creeper yawned and danced around in your Minecraft mansion. "Oh (Y/N), don't you know? I've been watching. Play flashback. Also, I can hear what you're saying."
The flashback played of the creeper's memories of watching you and stroking his ketchup bottle to your character building the house.
Swollen ended the flashback. "See? I have been watching! I want to show you a whole new world, but your new character needs to die first. I will come to you in real life and cum with you! You just have to let me explode your Minecraft house!"
All the llamas in the background were awaiting your decision, as they were Swollen's henchmen.
"I can give you all the pleasure in the world! I can be your first girlfriend/boyfriend. I will even peel your fingernails off! I will even peel your scalp off! Wouldn't that be wonderful, my love?" He explained. You could see him itching his 2D butthole. Still hairy, of course.
You pondered, rubbing your temples and using another one of your victim's hand to wipe your brow. You pulled your calculator out from your ear. It was covered in purple goop. You did some calculations.
-b minus or plus the square root minus b^2 - 4ac over 2a proves that you should do what Swollen said. That makes sense, WRITE (Y/N)?
"Hump me fuck me daddy better make me cum!" You smiled and made your character scoot back and let Swollen do his job.
Swollen moaned and screamed as his bomb exploded in your house. You also moaned in Arabic.
That was the end of your life. Swollen entered the real world and choked you. He had sex with your dead body afterwards like any normal person would. Why wouldn't he? After that, he laid his doodoo dung bombs all over  China, which killed all of Earth.
The end.
Cormac has a fetish for Chinese men.