The team, getting farther away from their goal.

•••

[Team Mystery Novel Writers:]

Edward: Sakto may mga tindahan dito!

Orion: (confused look)

Edward: Hindi ako nakabili ng mga regalo kanina dahil kay Sir Henry, kaya dito ako maghahanap.

Orion: Oohhh, I will look for gifts for Noir then.

Edward: You haven't bought gifts for Noir yet?

Orion: No, I just think 37 gifts are still not enough.

Edward: Nabilhan mo na rin ba ng regalo iba mong kapatid?

Orion: Nope, just Noir.

Edward:

Edward: Sometimes I think Futhark's right when he said I'm a big bully. Ingat na ingat kayo sa alila ko.

Orion: Noir is your what

Edward: Best friend! (pushes Orion inside store) C'mon, let's see what this store has for last-minute Christmas shopping.

Orion: What are you planning to give your friends?

Edward: Another year of friendship with me.

Orion: Oh. That's nice. Wish I'd have someone to gift that to me, too.

Edward:

Edward: Maybe Dave Casedale Drew will be your friend if you wrote him a fan letter.

Orion: No, I'm burning him with acid next book, I don't think he'd want to be friends with me.

Edward: His friends are worse than that, believe me.

Orion: (sees an aisle full of notebooks) Maybe your friends will like this?

Edward: No, but these do have awesome designs.

Orion: Look, this one has a cute lock!

Edward: Yeah, nautical theme pa!

Orion: Bilhin mo na~

Edward: Sure—wait, no! We're here to buy gifts for my friends and dads!

Orion: Okay, sinong bibilhan mo?

Edward: Anong regalo ang pwede kong ibigay sa isang lalaking mahilig sa kape, pero masyado na s'yang maraming mug sa bahay. Mahilig din s'ya sa murder mysteries at detective stories.

Edward: Pero 'wag masyadong maganda sana kasi salbahe s'ya sa 'kin at sa mga tao sa paligid n'ya.

Edward: Pero kasi mabait naman s'ya deeeeeep down at inaalagaan n'ya rin naman ako minsan in his own way, so it would be nice if I showed him, through my gift, that he's still my friend kahit gago s'ya.

Orion:

Edward: Tingin mo, anong ireregalo ko sa kanya?

Orion: Uhm.

Orion: Socks na may miming?

Edward: You're not good at this as well, I'm in trouble.

[Team Hermod and Forseti:]

Henry: (eats cake with Forseti)

Forseti: (is wondering why Henry ordered cake but eats it anyway)

Henry: Do you want to join us tonight? We're celebrating Christmas at your house!

Forseti: (munches cake)

Henry: Kasama namin si Heim, si Arthur, 'yong mga anak-anakan ni Heim, saka si Niall at Fenrir!

Forseti: Seven people.

Hermod: Eight and nine kung kasama tayo. Do you have a different plan in mind?

Forseti: (nods)

Hermod: Oh. What is it?

Forseti: Spend Christmas at my father's house.

Hermod: Balder's house, huh...

Forseti: It's my tradition.

Hermod: I just thought this time would be different because, well, you have us now.

Forseti: I have all of you all year round. Today is the only time of the year I'm free to have a quiet evening at my father's house and have tea with him.

Hermod: Oh.

Hermod: Then I'd go with you.

[Team Father and Son in 372A High Street:]

Lance: We're here. Help me bring those bags inside.

Joyeuse: (rolls his eyes but helps Lance carry bags anyway)

Lance: (opens door, expecting Coronado Chronicles to greet him with chaos)

They find the entire house empty.

Lance: Huh, no one's here.

Joyeuse: You sound disappointed.

Lance: I'm not disappointed, I was just expecting them to be running around, you know, being annoying kids having fun.

Joyeuse: You weren't expecting them, you actually wanted them to be here because you're sad that you're turning 40 in a few years and you still don't have children.

Lance: Are you high on coffee grounds again?

Joyeuse: Shh, Lance, I'm here, I'm the only child you need.

Lance: (puts groceries above the kitchen island) Not today, you're not.

Joyeuse: (follows Lance) It's Christmas, Christmas is for children. Are you really disowning me today?

Lance: Jule you're no longer even a minor.

Joyeuse: So you'll allow me to drive your car?

Lance: Never in your wildest dreams. (arranges the milk cartons inside the fridge to make room for new groceries)

Joyeuse: (helps Lance arrange the fridge) C'mon, I'm the closest to a son you'll ever have.

Lance: Yes, I love you like my real son.

Lance: My feelings for that car are much, much greater.

Joyeuse: What about Arthur?

Lance: Arthur owns my heart. It won't even be a competition.

Joyeuse: Yuck.

Lance: When you grow up and learn what love is, you'll understand.

Joyeuse: Yuck.

Lance: (closes fridge and looks for the meat Futhark prepared)

Joyeuse: How old were you when you knew you wanted to live with Arthur forever?

Lance: (takes out pasta noodles from the cupboard) Hmm, I don't know, I just got used to him being by my side that I didn't really imagine my later years without him.

Lance: Do you imagine yourself being with Futhark when you grow up?

Joyeuse: Hmm. I imagine myself living with Edward Dace and running our own detective agency.

Lance:

Lance: Edward Dace?

Joyeuse: Yes, but I don't plan on stealing him from Macey. I just figured I'd have my own room in their house. And when they have kids, I'd be their cool Uncle Jule who teaches them how to extract blueprints and gather clues from crime scenes.

Lance: Your own room in their house? You plan on being a parasite in Edward's life forever?

Joyeuse: I wouldn't exactly call myself a parasite. I'd still pay rent.

Lance: Do you really not see yourself with Futhark in the future?

Joyeuse:

Joyeuse: Truth be told, I'm scared to think of that, so I've been avoiding that thought.

Lance: (boils pasta noodles) Why?

Joyeuse: (takes a seat and watches Lance) I don't know, what if I screw things up?

Lance: Relax, Jule. You won't screw things up by thinking about it. You'll screw things up when you start to talk.

Joyeuse: ... Should I stop talking?

Lance: I've been wishing for that since you were seven.

Lance: What I mean is, you're brutally honest and you hurt people without meaning it.

Joyeuse: I don't want to hurt Futhark.

Joyeuse: I'm afraid he'd poison me one day.

Lance: And Futhark knows that you mean well. If your heart tells you you love him, listen to it. And when it screams "I love you" whenever you see Futhark, tell him.

Joyeuse: Yeeaaaah I don't really know how to talk to my heart. I think it doesn't want to talk to me either.

Lance: I think your heart was somewhere in Ireland, buried under an ancient castle where no one can go.

Joyeuse: You've witnessed twelve of my relationships. Do you think this one will turn out like them?

Lance: Hmm... (takes out potatoes) We didn't really talk about those twelve relationships like this one. You were clear and certain that they're passing ships in your life. This one... it's like you want to stay with Futhark forever, but you're scared to commit.

Joyeuse: (takes pot from a cabinet and helps Lance wash the potatoes) Do you know why I'm scared?

Lance: On top of my head, because this one is new and Futhark is different. What was your line about him being a case you want to solve? A poison you'll drink out of a wineglass?

Joyeuse: (turns pink) We don't talk about Book 4 here.

Lance: Right. You went out with those twelve people not because of them, but because you simply wanted to be in a relationship, nothing else. You know why?

Joyeuse: Because I was bored, yeah, Arthur said that already.

Lance: This time, it's not a relationship you want.

Joyeuse: Well, what the bloody hell do I want?

Lance: Futhark.

Joyeuse: (stops washing potatoes)

Joyeuse: What if one day I wake up and I don't want him?

Lance: Then you just have to love him every day, I guess?

Joyeuse: Sounds like a lot of work.

Lance: It's not a lot of work, you idiot.

Joyeuse: You love Arthur every day and you don't get tired of it?

Lance: Do you get tired of breathing?

Joyeuse: I'm asthmatic, try again.

Lance: Do you get tired of drinking coffee?

Joyeuse: No.

Lance: Because you love coffee, right?

Joyeuse: Yes.

Lance: Do you get tired of solving mysteries?

Joyeuse: Of course not.

Lance: Because you love mysteries. Do you get tired of going outside to investigate?

Joyeuse: No.

Lance: Do you get tired of figuring out puzzles?

Joyeuse: (shakes head)

Lance: You don't get tired of them because you love all of those things.

Joyeuse: How does that connect to me not getting tired of loving Futhark?

Lance: Because you do all those things with Futhark.

Joyeuse: Oh.

Lance: He brings you coffee, he goes with you investigating, and he makes puzzles for you.

Joyeuse: (raises eyebrows with a slight grin, genuinely amused) So that's why his name kept popping up.

Lance: (laughs) You look just like when you're seven, whenever you figure out the puzzles I've given you.

Joyeuse: (suppresses a smile and starts boiling the potatoes)

Lance: (ruffles Joyeuse's hair) Aww, my son's all grown-up and learning what love is.

Joyeuse: (pushes lip to the side)

Joyeuse: Thanks, dad.

Lance: (eyes widen)

Lance: I—

Lance:

Lance: Excuse me for a while.

•••

I'm glad I had the chance to write this here because a Lance-Jule conversation about Jule and Futhark will never happen in canon.