Lance has successfully retrieved his baggage, Edward Dace, Zweihänder—for some reasons —and Arthur. It was a quiet trip to 372A High Street, until...

Lance: Jule, you've been so quiet. What are you thinking?

Joyeuse: (blinks) Hmm?

Lance: Dinibdib mo ba 'yong galit ko kanina? Nagtatampo ka ba?

Joyeuse: No, Sir—I mean Lance—No, Lance.

Lance: Good, dahil masyado ka nang matanda para magtampo kapag napagalitan.

Arthur: (to Joyeuse) You seem ruffled.

Zweihänder: (is sitting behind Joyeuse and Futhark) Yeah, Jule, bakit parang nayanig ka?

Joyeuse: I'm not.

Futhark: Sinabi kong kapag pinagpatuloy n'ya ang pagpapasakit sa ulo ni Sir Lance ay mag-aampon ng bagong anak si Sir at papalitan na s'ya.

Arthur:

Arthur: Sure, that's why.

Lance: Come to think of it, a child is easier to raise than you.

Joyeuse:

Joyeuse:

Lance: I bet they'll love me and respect me more than you do.

Joyeuse:

Edward: Lagooot, hindi na ikaw ang paboritong anak. Papalitan ka na.

Zweihänder: Hindi ka na papansinin ng ama mo dahil may iba na s'yang anak.

Joyeuse: (purses lips to suppress a pout)

Arthur: I know you're all doing this to tease Uresonderry but if this continues, Lance will want to adopt a child and I can't have that either.

Zweihänder: Grabe Ginoong Sir, napapalibutan ng mga possessive na tao.

Lance: What can I say, I'm likeable.

Arthur: Why are you here, Zweihänder?

Joyeuse: And what do you mean likeable? You're an asshole.

Lance: Excuse me, how many organisations again are made for the sole reason of hating you?

Edward: Ohh, tapos ang lakas maka-deny na mag-ama sila oh.

Futhark: Edward.

Edward: Hey! I picked the lock of your handcuffs, hindi mo ako pwedeng awayin ngayon!

Futhark: Sinasaway kita!

Arthur: If the handcuffs are gone, why are you still holding hands?

Edward: (turns in horror)

Joyeuse: Are we? I didn't even notice.

Zweihänder: (whispers to Futhark) Pwede ka pang magbago ng choice, maraming matitinong tao sa mundo.

Futhark: C-Choice?

Zweihänder: (looks away and whistles)

Edward: Fuuuu! 'Wag si drama queen, masama ugali neto eh!

Futhark: Grabe ka naman, Edward.

Edward: At saka aalilain ka lang n'yan!

Zweihänder: Ilulugmok sa kahirapan!

Futhark: Zwei mawalang-galang na, pero bakit ka ulit nandito?

Edward: At saka lolokohin ka lang n'yan! No'ng isang araw nakita ko may ka-chat s'yang utu-uto gamit 'yong account na Adelaide Grace!

Zweihänder: Ka-chat na utu-uto? Adelaide Grace?

Joyeuse: Lance, where's Henry?

Lance: (steps on the brake)

Edward: (hits head on the window)

Zweihänder: (headbutts Joyeuse)

Futhark: (hits the back of the driver's seat)

Arthur: (didn't even move, is still eating candies)

Lance: Ed, hindi ba magkasama kayo ni Hermod?!

Edward: Iniwan ko Sir sa petshop!

Arthur: Was he finally adopted by a loving family?

Edward: Binilin ko po s'ya ro'n sa nag-aalaga ng mga aso.

Futhark: Babalikan po ba natin?

Lance: Hindi 'yon uuwi hangga't walang sumusundo sa kanya. Pasko pa naman ngayon.

Joyeuse: Yes, so why do you want to ruin it? If Henry's happy there, then—

Futhark: (touches Joyeuse's knee)

Joyeuse: T-Then it's only right we go back for him because he's your brother and Christmas is about family.

Arthur: That girl in the petshop is Henry's only shot in romance. Leave him there.

Lance: You don't want him with us, do you?

Arthur: He keeps on talking to me and asking me about my gradesheets and the students' exams. I just want to play video games in peace.

Lance: Remember your doctorate, Arthie.

Arthur: You want me to leave you at the petshop too?

Zweihänder: Bakasyon ngayon mga sirs, dapat ang inaalala n'yo ay kung anong surprise ang naghihintay sa inyo sa 372A.

Lance: (steps on the brakes again)

Lance: What did you do to our house, Zweihänder?!

Arthur: If you touched my chicken I will castrate you.

Zweihänder: Wala po akong ginawa! M-Maliit na surprise lang po!

Joyeuse: We've been here before. Zweihänder's surprises are no laughing matter.

Edward: Muntik nang masunog ang dorm namin noon dahil sa 'yo, Zwei.

Futhark: Ninakaw n'ya po 'yong box ko.

Zweihänder: Hiniram ko lang!

Joyeuse: You made Laevateinn kidnap Parisi for the Christkind—something.

Zweihänder: Wala akong kinalaman sa pangingidnap ni Lae!

Arthur: Speak, Zweihänder. What did you do to our house?

Zweihänder: Surprise nga sir!

Lance: Spill it out or I'll drop you here.

Zweihänder: Surprise nga kasi sir???

Joyeuse: We don't trust you.

Zweihänder: Masisira 'yong surprise kapag sinabi ko sa inyo!

Edward: Naalala n'yo no'ng sinira n'ya 'yong buong gym dahil bitter s'ya sa Valentines Day?

Zweihänder: Naalala mo no'ng pinag-ghost hunt mo kami, Edward?

Edward: I had your consent!

Futhark: Binalot po ni Zwei si Nicholas sa isang malaking box.

Zweihänder: I had his consent!

Edward: Nagpanggap s'yang Easter Bunny para nakawin 'yong fund ng CAS!

Futhark: Sinulsulan n'ya po ang buong Coronado University!

Joyeuse: He's in touch with Wonderland Organisation and runs an underground Mafia to fund all his mischief.

Futhark: I don't think he did that.

Joyeuse: Are you waiting for him to do that?

Edward: (gasps loudly)

Zweihänder: A-Ang layo ng inabot n'yo, pinaghintay ko lang naman sa 372A ang CC na may bitbit na pagkain at laruan...

Joyeuse: How I wish we could trust you.

Zweihänder: You can trust me! 'Yon lang ang surprise!

Lance: Zweihänder made Arthur cry. I'm not trusting him.

Zweihänder: BAKIT

Edward: I trust you to save me from bad guys, but I don't trust you during holidays.

Arthur: Check his dimples. If the dimples are out, he's up to something.

Zweihänder: (covers his face) WALA PO AKONG MASAMANG BALAK!

Lance: Our day has been chaotic enough, Zweihänder. I'm warning you.

Arthur: This day has been tiring, I just wanna rest when we get home.

Edward: Wala ka ngang ginawa sa mall, Sir Arthur! Umupo ka lang at kumain!

Arthur: So, so tiring.

Edward: Lalaki ang tiyan mo n'yan sa katamaran mo.

Arthur:

Arthur: Lance, pull over. I'll walk all the way home.

Lance:  Don't listen to him, Arthur, your body's fine.

Zweihänder: Payag ka no'n, mars, si Sir Lance may abs ikaw wala?

Arthur: Lance pull over, I can jog from here.

Lance: Zweihänder, shut up!

A chicken crosses the street.

Lance: (stops for the chicken)

Arthur: Why did you stop? That's a chicken, it flies and gets out of the way.

Lance: You really wanna risk running over one of Siegfried's chickens?

Edward: Buti sir huminto ka.

Another chicken crosses.

Lance: Are we near Monkshood Street? Why are there chickens here?

More chicken cross the street, followed by stray cats, followed by stray dogs, followed by a single homeless person.

Lance: Is this your doing, Zweihänder?

Zweihänder: Sir Inahing Manok po ako, hindi si KFC.

Arthur: The evilness these chickens exude reeks of Zweihänder.

Joyeuse: Really? Your brother's more likely to lead an army of animals.

Edward: Nagpaparada 'yung mga hayop hahaha. Ha...

Edward:

Edward: Gago si Lae may pakana nito ano?!

The dogs start barking in rhythm.

Futhark: M-Medyo natatakot na po ako.

Joyeuse: (puts an arm around Futhark, watching the chickens in curiosity)

Edward: Perkele susugurin ba tayo ng mga hayop na 'yan? Dalawang pusa lang ang kaya kong kalabanin. O isang pusa at dalawang manok.

Arthur: I don't think you can fight one chicken, Edward.

Edward: (clutches Joyeuse's sleeve) (swallows)

Joyeuse: (unconsciously puts a hand on Edward's head)

Lance: (squints eyes) Is that... Is that Siegfried and Fenrir?

Laevateinn: (is wearing a red cape) (leads the parade of animals to a roundabout)

Fenrir: (is biting the flag of 372A High Street)

Laevateinn: (to his army) Today is Christmas, my friends. We shall march on the streets of San Lorenzo to spread Christmas fun!

The animals cheer.

Edward: (covers his ears) Perkele anong balak ni Lae?!

Futhark: Christmas fun daw, so baka mangangaroling sila...?

Lance: That sounds harmless.

Joyeuse: Really, you're not going to mention how he rounded up stray animals like a German Snow White?

Laevateinn: (still talking to his army) And if we see any naughty kids... (evil smirk) We feed them to Krampus!

The animals show their battle faces. The chickens draw warpaint on their beaks. The cats sharpen their claws. The dogs bare their fangs.

Edward: H-Harmless pa po ba 'yan, Sir Lance?

Lance: Someone stop Siegfried.

Arthur: I trust Siegfried's judgement. I know he can determine who's naughty and who's nice without being biased.

Lance: Yes and that's why I'm scared, Arthie. Your brother has me on his naughty list ever since I said I'm going to wear a bunny suit to bed.

Edward: Hala! Sir Dad! Nasa naughty list po ba ako?

Lance: Did you do something that might put you on the naughty list?

Edward: I—

Edward: Wala po akong maalala Sir???

Futhark: Iniwan mo si Sir Henry sa petshop.

Edward: He wanted it! That was nice of me!

Joyeuse: You swear like a sailor.

Edward: I-Is it counted as naughtiness kung minura ko kayo b-but with love?

Lance: Didn't you hack into Henry's account?

Edward: To get him a date!

Futhark: Lagi mong binubully si Sir Henry, Ed.

Edward: Putragis na Sir Henry 'yan, magiging dahilan pa kung bakit ako nasa naughty list.

Zweihänder: Nasubukan mo na bang maging mabait sa kanya?

Edward: Ikaw, sigurado akong nasa naughty list ka rin!

Zweihänder: Mabait ako buong taon!

Edward: Nuknukan ka ng sama kapag holidays! Mas masama ka sa Wonderland Org kapag Valentines!

Futhark: Kung ganon, baka lahat tayo nasa naughty list???

Arthur: Being killed by Krampus is nice.

Lance: Arthur, no.

Edward: Si Futhark lang ang wala sa naughty list, madaya!

Joyeuse: He's on the naughty list, I assure you.

Futhark: (grins at Joyeuse) Hehe.

Lance: That's it, I'm using another route home. We need to avoid Siegfried. (turns the car around)

Arthur: (watches the parade) That's a lot of chickens.

Zweihänder: Saan kinuha ni Lae ang mga manok na 'yan?

[Meanwhile:]

Excalibur: (on the phone) Hello, pa? Nandito po ako sa bukid ngayon. May... May ginawa po ba kayong delivery? Nawawala po lahat ng manok natin.

Excalibur: Ang natira lang po ay 'yong attitude na tandang.

Excalibur: (glares at the rooster) Kinain mo silang lahat, ano?

Rooster: (rolls eyes)

[Back to the naughty kids:]

Zweihänder: For the record, Ginoong Sir, sumama lang po ako dahil wala akong masakyan papuntang 372A, e doon ko pinapunta ang CC para i-surprise kayo.

Lance: And for the record, nobody knew Siegfried would build an army.

Arthur: Really? I thought it was obvious that Niall's a natural leader.

Futhark: Sir Lance kailangan po nating makauwi agad! 'Yong binabad ko pong mga karne!

Edward: Magbabalot pa po ako ng regalo, Sir!

Joyeuse: I wanna go home and sleep.

Edward: Ialay natin si Joyeuse!

Joyeuse: Didn't Arthur want Lance to pull over so he can walk the way home?

Lance: Jule, son, shut up.

Arthur: I wanna see the chickens, Lance.

Lance: I'm not pulling over, Arthur. You'll lead the army with your brother.

Edward: Mga Lukas talaga.

Futhark: Hindi po ba natin pipigilan si Lae? Baka idemanda po s'ya sa police kapag nanggulo 'yong mga alagad n'ya.

Zweihänder: Pa'no 'yong binababad mong karne?

Futhark: Sir Daaad.

Lance: (slows down) There's a husky here that's dragging an unconscious person.

Arthur: He's dead.

Zweihänder: Sir si Orion po 'yan! Kapatid ni Mist!

Edward: Gago kapitbahay natin!

Lance: I-Is he Siegfried's casualty?

Futhark: Tulungan po natin, Sir!

Arthur: Why bother, he has six siblings to help him.

Futhark: Para po malagay kayo sa nice list ni Lae?

Edward: (shakes driver's seat) Sir Dad, Sir Dad, Sir Dad, tulungan po natin si Orion!

Lance couldn't do anything, his sons demanded him to be good to Orion.

[A few minutes later...]

Orion: (takes Zweihänder's seat) Thank you for saving me ;u;

Zweihänder: (is now seating beside the driver)

Arthur: (is outside, holding the husky)

Edward: Anong nangyari sa 'yo?

Orion: Someone made an army and called all the animals. I was walking Madeline and she suddenly went crazy following the call.

Arthur: I'll walk Madeline home. You people go home.

Lance: Ihahatid ka na namin, Orion, kapitbahay ka lang naman namin.

Orion: Thank youuu. Ito na ang huli kong labas ng bahay para ngayong dekada.

The family drives for a while...

Edward: Sir Dad may nakita po akong—

Lance: Ilayo n'yo ang batang 'yan sa bintana.

Joyeuse: (covers Edward's eyes)

Edward: (bites Joyeuse's hand)

Joyeuse: (hits Edward's head)

Edward: Sir Dad si Joyeuse pinukpok ako sa ulo!

Joyeuse: Lance he bit me!

Lance: (is now having second thoughts about adopting a child)

Futhark: Sir, si Freyja po yata 'yong nakaupo sa may sidewalk.

Lance: Freyja? What the hell's my sister doing there?

Zweihänder: Ginoong Sir, umiiyak yata.

Lance: (groans and pulls over) (rolls down window) Hey, Freyja.

Freyja: (sniffs) Heim?

Futhark: (grabs Joyeuse's shoulder to stop him from peeking through the windows)

Lance: The fuck are you crying there?

Freyja: (grabs Lance's bangs and whines) Freyr promised he'd help me sell cookies but he's nowhere to be found and I still have a hundred cookies!

Lance: Stop pulling my bangs!

Freyja: (cries louder)

Lance: (pulls Freyja's hair)

Freyja:

Lance:

Freyja: You little shit I thought you'd pity me and buy all my cookies!

Lance: You pulled my hair, you crook.

Freyja: How dare you pull my hair back. Get outta here, let's settle this. (ties hair up)

Lance: (gets out of the car) (also ties his hair up)

Edward: Gago pageant

Futhark: Sir Lance, 'yung binababad ko po!!!

Lance: Sandali lang 'to, Futhark. (narrows eyes at Freyja)

Freyja: (takes out a whip)

Lance: (cracks knuckles)

Lance: (cracks knuckles again and reaches into his wallet) How much for all the cookies?

Freyja: Yay, Heim!

After a few minutes...

Lance: No more detours, we go straight home now.

Joyeuse: You're the one behind the wheel, Lance. Need I remind you.

Lance: It's getting dark now, I better hurry.

Spoiler Alert, he didn't hurry. Stay tuned for the last chapters of the Christmas Special!