One lazy afternoon in 372A High Street...

Henry: (is using the computer in the upstairs library)

Futhark: Sir Henry? Marami pa po ba kayong ginagawa? May 39 po kasi akong assignments na due bukas.

Henry: Uhhh--(immediately minimises all windows)

Edward: (appears from behind Futhark) Nakakaamoy ako ng may ginagawang masama sa computer ni Lae.

Futhark: Kay Lae pala ang computer na 'to?

Edward: Yeah, hindi lang n'ya ginagamit dahil taga-gubat s'ya.

Laevateinn: (is quietly reading comic books behind them, sitting on a beanbag) (throws a paper shuriken at Edward)

Edward: Bakit ako ang binabato mo, si Sir Henry may ginagawang kalokohan sa computer mo!

Henry: Wala akong ginagawang kalokohan!

Edward: Patingin nga ng mga windows.

Henry: G-Grades n'yo 'to kaya bawal n'yong makita!

Arthur: (peeks from behind one of the shelves) Grades? Do we need to pass the grades now? I've done nothing.

Futhark: Sir Arthur ano pong ginagawa n'yo d'yan?

Arthur: (shows comic books)

Futhark: Hindi po ba may lesson kayo sa Philo sa 'min? Lesson plans n'yo po?

Arthur: I remember every lesson I taught for the past seven years. I'm good.

Edward: Weh? Nakikita kitang nagbabasa ng libro habang nagle-lesson.

Arthur: Yeah that's a prop because other professors are spreading rumours that I don't treat my job seriously.

Edward: You're reading comic books when you should be doing your lesson plans.

Arthur: No, I am reading comic books when I should be doing my doctoral thesis.

Edward: Perkele sana all chill lang.

Henry: (has turned the computer off) (is slowly retreating and escaping)

Edward: (grabs Henry's collar) Sir Henreh tayo ay mag-uusap pa. Anong ginagawa mo sa computer ni Lae?

Henry: Grades n'yo nga!

Edward: Sige nga, anong grade ko?

Henry: Uno!

Edward: Very good.

Arthur: (grimaces at Henry) Where is your self-respect?

Henry: Nasa wallet ni Edward.

Futhark: Edward, 'wag mo nang bully-hin si Sir Henry. Nandito nga s'ya para hindi s'ya stressed sa bahay n'ya, e. Tapos aawayin mo pa.

Edward: Nandito ka rin dahil stressed ka sa condition mo sa apartment mo, did that stop us from bullying and stressing you even more? No! Pantay-pantay ang pagpapasakit namin sa ulo ng mga tao!

Futhark: (sighs) Bumukod na lang kaya kayo ng bahay ni Joyeuse?

Edward: Can't. We discussed it before, one of us would die.

Laevateinn: I was part of the discussion. I was the one who killed the other.

Edward: Yep, kaya nagpapakabait kami sa presensya ni Lae ngayon.

Henry: (tries to escape once again)

Edward: (grabs Henry's collar) (starts computer up)

Henry: Wala nga akong ginagawang masama!

Edward: You're sounding even more guilty.

Futhark: Edward kung anuman ang ginawa ni Sir Henry sa compu-

Edward: (manages to retrieve all pages Henry has visited in the past hour) HAH!

Henry: Sir Arthur back-up pls

Edward: Sino 'tong kausap mo sa Facebook, ha?!

Henry: SIR ARTHUR

Futhark: Edward 'wag mong pakialaman ang Facebook ni Sir--(sees the profile picture) Parang nakita ko 'yan sa Coronado...

Edward: (shouts) SIR LANCE SIR LANCE SIR LANCE SI SIR HENRY MAY NILALANDING ESTUDYANTE

Henry: HINDI S'YA ESTUDYANTE, ED!

Edward: (calls outside the room) SIR DAAAAAAAAAADDDDD

Arthur & Laevateinn: (joins them, curious)

Futhark: Faculty?

Henry: (instantly turns red)

Arthur: Who is this Hannah Mae, I haven't seen her in Coronado.

Henry: Taga-San Leandro daw s'ya.

Laevateinn: Does she own dogs.

Henry: Mahilig din s'ya sa aso!

Laevateinn: Woo her and ask her to marry you then kidnap the dogs.

Henry: H-Hindi ko nga makausap nang ayos...

Edward: Dahil ba medyo gago ka sir--

Henry: Dahil nahihiya ako! Ed ikaw 'yang bunganga mo!

Futhark: Mabait ka naman po, Sir Henry, anong kinakahiya mo? Alukin mo lang po ng coffee date or something.

Henry: Alukin mo nga ng coffee date 'yang Alice mo.

Futhark: Quarantine pa tayo ngayon sir. Kayong matatanda lang po ang pwedeng lumabas.

Henry: Tingnan mo! Ang daling sabihin, ang hirap gawin!

Edward: (types on message box) Hi, it's me, Henry Fortes. Would you like to meet up for coffee sometime?

Henry: (screeches and pushes Edward away from the keyboard)

Edward: (comically flies to the other side of the room) (lands on a beanbag)

Futhark: 'Wag ganon, Ed, dapat ano, uhhh, (dictates) ganito sir, sabihin n'yo po, "Masaya ako kapag nakakausap kita."

Henry: Saang album ni Imelda Papin ang kantang 'yan?

Futhark: Sir Arthur, paano po naging kayo ni Sir Lance?

Arthur: (shrugs) He asked me and I said "Yeah, sure."

Futhark: Ano pong sinabi ni Sir Lance?

Arthur: If we could watch sunsets together forever.

Henry: Eh, nagtatanong na 'yan kung pwedeng maging jowa. Gusto ko lang masigurong gusto rin n'ya ako.

Futhark: Sir Arthur, paano n'yo po nasigurong gusto ka ni Sir Lance?

Arthur: He told me.

Henry: 'Wag ka kay Sir Arthur magtanong, isang buwan bago n'ya na-realize na jowa na n'ya si Heim.

Arthur: In my defence, Lance was very vague and he calls me "stupid Lukas kid who thought he could fly" up until now.

Futhark: Vague? Akala ko po sinabi n'ya sa inyo na gusto ka n'ya?

Arthur: Yeah but it was vague, like, does he love me as a friend or?

Futhark: He said "forever", Sir.

Arthur: Yeah but what if he wanted to be best friends forever?

Henry: Ilang taon n'yo akong ginawang third wheel tapos bffs pa rin ang inakala mo sa inyong dalawa?

Arthur: The three of us order BFF Fries on McDonalds, Hermod. It has BFF on the name.

Henry: Laging nakabuntot sa 'yo si Heim tapos bffs pa rin?

Arthur: He said he thought I'd do something stupid and then I'd die, so he kept following me.

Henry: Lumipat sa CAS faculty room si Heim kahit taga-Criminology s'ya dahil sinusundan ka n'ya, tapos bffs pa rin?

Futhark: Malay mo Sir, baka gusto pong makipagdaldalan ni Sir Lance.

Arthur: Yeah, Lance was really chatty. I ignore him most of the time, though.

Henry: Laging nakatitig sa 'yo si Heim, bffs pa rin?

Arthur: Super besties.

Futhark: Ipapaalala ko lang Sir na asawa n'yo na po 'yun ngayon.

Arthur: Super duper ultra mega besties?!

Henry: Sandali, nasaan si Edward at Siegfried--

Futhark: (notices the monitor) Hala Sir Henry!

Henry: BAKIT?!

Futhark: Hina-hack po ni Edward account n'yo--

Henry: (screams) (runs outside the room to look for Edward)

Futhark: (follows)

Arthur: (goes back to his comic books) (ignores his lesson plans and doctoral thesis)

Henry: Nasaan na si Edward?!

Futhark: Titingnan ko po sa kwarto namin!

Henry: Titingnan ko sa banyo!

Futhark: B-Bakit po sa banyo?

Henry: Hindi mo kilala si Edward.

Lance: (has woken up from a nap) (is tying his hair up and walking towards the kitchen)

Henry: HEEEEEIIIIIMMMMMMMMM

Lance:

Lance: (runs)

Futhark: Hala bakit tumakbo?!

Henry: (chases after Lance) (is actually a very fast runner) (jumps at Lance's back)

Lance: (falls on the floor) Ack, Hermod! You're a grown man!

Henry: BAKIT KA TUMAKBO HEIM

Lance: You were shouting my name and I just woke up. I don't have time for your shit.

Henry: 'YONG ANAK MO.

Lance: You have to be more specific.

Henry: 'YONG SALBAHE.

Lance: Yeah that doesn't narrow it down, I'm only crossing Futhark out.

Henry: HINACK 'YONG ACCOUNT KO.

Lance: ...

Lance: You reaaaaally have to be more specific because Jule could ask Edward to hack your account.

Futhark: Wala po si Joyeuse, hindi po kasama sa gulo ngayon.

Lance: 

Futhark:

Henry:

Lance: (stands up) Shouldn't you be looking for him?

Futhark: Bigla nga akong kinabahan, Sir, hanapin ko lang po sandali.

Henry: (clings on Lance's arm) Heiiiiimmmmmmmm may masamang balak si Edward!

Lance: Laging may masamang balak ang batang 'yon, nagsama pa sila ni Jule.

Henry: Lumalaking pariwara ang mga batang nadidikit sa 'yo, ano?

Lance: (is ready to throw Henry out of the balcony) (carries Henry on his side)

Henry: HEIM NO HEEEEIIIMMM ISUSUMBONG KITA KAY NJAL ISUSUMBONG KITA

Lance: (is opening the balcony door) I'M GOING TO TELL HIM YOU DESERVED IT

Henry: HEIM KUYA MO AKO, NASAAN NA ANG PAGMAMAHALAN NATIN?!

Lance: SA BASURAHAN KASAMA NG PASSPORT NI ORLANDO BAHAGHARI (opens the balcony door)

Joyeuse: (is chilling on the balcony, wearing sunglasses and drinking iced coffee)

Joyeuse: 

Joyeuse: (sighs heavily, picking up his foldable lounge chair and leaving without a word)

Lance: Jule, call an ambulance.

Joyeuse: I'm calling the nearest mental institution.

Henry: JULE TULONG

Joyeuse: And what do I get from helping you?

Henry: UNO KA NA SA 'KIN

Joyeuse: Hmm... Lance, what do I get from not helping Henry?

Lance: Your sanity.

Joyeuse: I wonder if you're going to give me a flat one too, but meh.

Henry: (bites Lance's arm)

Lance: (screeches and hits Henry's head)

Joyeuse: Remind me again, you two are 38 and 37 years old?

Lance: Hermod's turning 39 soon.

Joyeuse: And he's still single, huh. No wonder Edward hacked his account and set him up on a date with Hannah Mae. (leaves, smirking)

Lance: Hannah Mae?

Henry: 'WAG MO AKONG HUSGAHAN

Lance: Nakikipaglandian ka kay Hannah Mae?

Henry: (gets a notification)

Henry: OMG HEIM

Lance: (reads notification) Hannah Mae agreed to meet up with you as long as you wear a Wonder Woman costume?

Henry: She's a weird gal, what can I do? (is obviously in love) Ang mga panahong third wheel ako sa inyo ni Sir Arthur ay magwawakas na!

Lance: (winces) Oof.

Henry: Bakit? May alam ka tungkol kay Hannah, anong alam mo? Kilala mo ba 'to? Naging jowa mo 'to, 'no?!

Lance: (hits Henry's head) No!

Lance: It's just that--I don't know how to say it without breaking your heart.

Lance: But I don't really care about you so I'm gonna say it with a mocking tone.

Henry:

Henry: I can feel my heart already breaking but go on.

Lance: Yeah that Hannah Mae account is the account Jule uses when he's bored. If he messaged you that means he's toying with you.

Henry:

Lance: (hisses) Oof that stings. Come here big bro let's get you something to eat or drink.

Henry:

Lance: (pulls Henry to the kitchen)

Arthur: (is also on his way to the kitchen) What happened to him, why is he pale and like a mannequin?

Lance: Someone mean that I didn't raise broke his heart.

Arthur: Weird description but okay.

Lance: You want BFF fries, Henry?

Henry:

Arthur: He wants BFF fries, he mentioned it earlier.

Lance: Go ask what the kids want.

Lance: And then I'm going to ignore what they said and order a black coffee.

Henry: 

Lance: We should really get you a girlfriend.