[372A High Street:]

Arthur: ...

Arthur: So you ordered live chicken online...?

Lance: (proudly) I did.

Arthur: And someone actually sold you one?

Lance: They did.

Arthur: (to Futhark) You let him order live chicken online?

Futhark: Nahiwagaan po ako sa kayang gawin ng internet at natuwa po ako na kaya na pong umorder ng manok online.

Lance: Relax, it's just online shopping. What could go wrong?

Doorbell dings.

Lance: And it's fast, see? I bet that's our order.

Arthur: (rolls his eyes and follows Lance to the doorway)

Excalibur: Kayo po ba 'yung umorder ng—ohhh Sir Ducere, Sir Lukas! Magkasama po pala kayo ngayon—bakit magkasama po kayo ngayon at bakit po kayo bumili ng buhay na manok—

Lance: ... Why are you selling chickens online?

Excalibur: Family business po? At saka pagala-gala lang naman itong mga 'to malapit dito.

Lance: Is one of those chickens perhaps... Ferdinand?

Excalibur: Yata? Hindi ko alam sir, may batang naglagay ng nametag sa kanila pero inalis ko rin.

Lance: Do you own those chickens?

Excalibur: Opo. May bukid po kami.

A chicken flies from Excalibur's cart and lands on Arthur's head.

Arthur: (stands perfectly still so the chicken doesn't leave his head)

Arthur: This chicken has been on my head for 3 seconds but if anything happened to him I would kill everyone in this house and then myself.

Lance: Wala ka bang ibang manok na binebenta, Excalibur?

Excalibur: Ano po bang gagawin n'yo sa manok, mga sir... at sinu-sino po kayo sa bahay na 'to?

Lance: Bakit, taga-DSWD ka? Nagsu-survey ka ng mga pamilya?

Excalibur: Nagtataka lang sir, grabe.

Futhark: (comes out) May problema po ba sa—oh.

Excalibur: Nandito ka rin?

Futhark: (slowly backs off and hides behind a plant) (whispers) Sir Lance secret po ba na nandito kami?

Lance: Tingin mo hindi ka kita kapag nagtago ka r'yan?!

Excalibur: May party nga kayo?

Arthur: (is still not moving for the chicken's sake)

Lance: We're not throwing a party!

Futhark: Sabi n'yo sir magce-celebrate tayo ng birthday ni Joyeuse?

Lance:

Lance: Futhark why don't you go and grab Arthur's oreos from my closet?

Futhark: Okay po. (leaves)

Excalibur: Bakit may oreos po si Sir Lukas sa cabinet n'yo, sir?

Lance: Bakit ang dami mong tanong?

Excalibur: Babayaran n'yo po ba 'yung manok sa ulo ni Sir Lukas?

Lance: Of course not, we're not buying i—

Arthur: He's buying it.

Lance: I'm buying it.

After a few minutes of transaction with Excalibur...

[Living Room:]

Lance: How long are you going to let that chicken boss you around?

Arthur: (sits comfortably inside a pillow fort, with the chicken still on his head)

Arthur: Forever.

Lance: (sighs, defeated)

Doorbell dings.

Lance: I think that's the cake.

Arthur: Mm-hmm.

Lance: Are you not opening the door with me?

Arthur: Nope.

Lance: (stomps his way to the gates)

Macey: Hi sir! Dito ka po pala nakatira?

Lance: You're selling cake?

Lance: (internally: "I dodged a bullet!")

Macey: Family business po.

Lance: I see. Now let me pay you before something goes terribly wrong.

Macey: Uhm, 300 pesos po para sa cake.

Lance: Okay.

Macey: Sino pong may birthday, sir?

Lance: Please don't ask questions.

Macey: Yiiee para sa girlfriend n'yo 'yan, ano sir?

Lance: No it's not.

Arthur: (with the chicken still on his head) Lance you forgot your wallet on the—(sees Macey)—oh.

Arthur: (hides his face with the chicken)

Arthur: Sir Ducere your wallet, catch! (hurls wallet towards Lance and runs back inside)

Macey:

Macey: Hala sir dapat sinabi n'yo, may iba pa po kaming cake don, 'yung shape heart.

Lance: You got the wrong idea.

Macey: Yiiee okay lang po sir, mahal ka pa rin namin.

Lance: I said you got the wrong idea.

Macey: Aseees.

Lance: Do you want to be paid or not?

Macey: Gusto po! Eto na po ang cake n'yo, byyeeee Sir Lance!

[Living Room:]

Lance: I have a feeling Zweihänder will know about us soon.

Arthur: (phone rings)

Arthur: Zweihänder texted.

Lance: Your journalists are quite scary, Sir Lukas.

Arthur: I know. Meanwhile, your "future of law enforcement" are fighting in the armoury and one of them is still looking for oreos in your closet.

Lance: It's not a competition.

Arthur: I know.

Arthur: But I'm winning.

Lance: You have a chicken on your head.

Arthur: And you have none. I win again.

Lance: (rolls his eyes and checks the cake) Oh no.

Arthur: What is it?

Lance: The cake says "Happy Birthday Juliet" instead of "Happy Birthday Jule".

Arthur: ... Is it because of Taylor Swift?

Lance: My phone's autocorrect thought I'm still talking about Juliet.

Arthur:

Arthur: Nice.

Futhark: Sir nakita ko na po 'yung oreos.

Lance: You actually found one?

Arthur: Give me those.

Futhark: Nagawa ko na rin po 'yung salad at coffee jelly, pinapalamig na lang po sa ref.

Arthur: And I'm done with the mashed potato. All that's left to do is the chicken, Lance.

Lance: (picks up phone) I'll order one again.

Futhark: Paano po 'yang nasa ulo ni Sir Arthur?

Arthur:

Lance: FUTHARK PLEASE DON'T ASK.

Arthur:

Futhark: Pwede po bang maglinis na lang din ako? Parang kanina pa po ako hot seat.

Lance: Yes, you may clean with the others.

Futhark: Sigurado po bang kaya n'yo na rito?

Lance: No, please stay here.

Arthur: You can order roasted chicken online.

Lance: But they don't taste like the ones I usually make.

Arthur: Are you really going this far for Uresonderry?

Lance: ...

Lance: I forgot we're getting roasted chicken for Jule's birthday.

Futhark: So... So naging desperado lang po kayong magluto ng manok dahil sinabi ni Sir Arthur?

Lance: Oh shut up you'll do the same for Alice.

Futhark: Sir why—

Arthur: You don't have to give me everything I ask, you know.

Lance: Really, are you going to let me cook that chicken on your head?

Arthur: (protects chicken) No if you touched Gullin I'm breaking up with you.

Lance: You named the chicken?

Futhark: Sir pwede naman po yata nating timplahan nang ayos 'yung mga manok sa ref, kahit na hindi sila buo.

Lance: But it's not the same.

Arthur: It's the same.

Lance: Really?

Arthur: You made it. Of course I'd like it all the same.

Lance:

Lance: Futhark, please clean weapons with your brothers in the armoury for a while.

Futhark: Nope, magluto na po kayo sir, anong oras na.

Lance: Worth the shot. Let's go.