Bucky's POV

"Bucky..!"

I quickly tried to stop crying when I heard his voice, I wiped my eyes with my hoodie, holding my cigarette in between my metal fingers.

"Bucky..."

He whispered that name again.

My name.

I chose to ignore him, taking another puff of my cigarette. I saw him flinch when he saw me do so.

"Are... You okay?"

He stepped closer, moving so that he sat next to me. He crinkled his nose with disgust when I blew the smoke out of my mouth.

"I'm just... peachy."

I spoke through my teeth, clenching my fist. I felt his eyes on me. Why was he always so worried about me? I flinched when he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"We need to talk... You need to stop."

He sounded so sincere, so caring. Who really was this man and why does he always try and help me? Did he just proclaim that he was my best friend to gain my trust? And if he trusted me, who in their right mind would trust a monster like me?

"I'm fine."

I responded with a lie, ashing my cigarette into the second ash tray that was on the bedside table.

"I only smoke when I'm upset, I'll get over it."

The first part was true, I really do only smoke when upset. But would I really be able to get over all of this confusion and torment? I have no fucking clue.

"Buck, You've been smoking everyday. Please tell me what's wrong..."

I heard pain in his voice, I looked at him with a slight glare. He had the pain in his eyes too, what's his fucking deal? I refused to respond, I just looked away and took another drag from my cigarette.

"Bucky..."

I felt him grip my shoulder a bit, my fist clenching a bit more.

"I care about you, I want you to be happy."

This made me chuckle. Him care about me? I refuse to believe so.

"Bullshit."

I muttered, blowing out the smoke from my mouth. I heard a hefty exhale come from the blond, it seems like that pissed him off.

"Bucky. I speak nothing but the truth, it's what I stand for."

He declared with a serious tone. I rolled my eyes. I was so close to snapping, I quickly took another drag to try and calm myself.

"We promised we'd be with each other until the end of the line."

He whispered. Once I heard that line, my mind went blank. I've heard him say this multiple times, I have memories of 'me' telling this to him, protecting him. This made me lose it. I put out my cigarette and left it on the ash tray.

"Shut up."

Those words were completely unexpected, yet they came out of my mouth. I could tell that Steve was shocked too. He blinked and stared at me.

"Excuse me?"

I let out a growl, looking at him. He was bewildered.

"I said. Shut. Up."

I backed up away from him a bit. I was fuming. I was scared, my emotions were out of control. The memories were fucking with my head.

"Buck-"

"I SAID SHUT THE FUCK UP."

I yelled at him, putting my hands on my head. I dug my fingers into my head, I felt tears threatening to spill. This wasn't me. Why was I yelling? A choked sob left my mouth, my eyes still widened in fear.

"Bucky please calm down."

Steve tried to put his arms around me, but something inside of me snapped.

"DON'T FUCKING TOUCH ME. STAY AWAY."

I shouted, slapping his arm away and backing up into the corner of my bed. The thoughts came flooding in. I wasn't sure which were true and which were just my imagination. This was pure torture. So many images, so many cruel, gruesome images. I was terrified.

I heard Steve gulp when he sat in front of me, his hands tried to get my own out of my hair.

"James, it's me. Steve. Steve Rogers. Your best friend."

I was shaking and sweating. This was one of my worst attacks yet.

"Best friend? Why the fuck do you even care for me? How do I know that I even know you?!"

I was sobbing, I was so confused. I tried to shove him away but he wouldn't budge. He was determined. His fingers gently started to remove mine from my own messed up locks of hair. He kept whispering to me, telling me his name, my name. My birthday. Useless facts about himself and I.

"STOP."

I tried to get him away, I started to fight against him. He had managed to get one of my hands free before we got locked into a pose where we could push and wrestle each other. I tried to push him off of me. I was trying as hard as I could, but he wouldn't move, he wouldn't give up. He kept pushing against me, trying to get me to stop.

He stared at me as I did so, my face was full of tears. Full of fear. My pupils kept darting all around, I felt trapped, so locked in with my own thoughts.

I managed to catch sight of his own eyes, his blue eyes were full of fear as well, but he was determined. Full of strength. Full of courage.

"STOP IT."

I was whimpering, I was so scared. I wanted to ram him with my metal arm to get him off of me, but something inside me refused to let me do that.

"Bucky..."

He whispered, he kept telling me the facts, our names and other things.

"Please...."

I whimpered, I was starting to get a bit quieter, and he took notice. He managed to get me to let go of his arms, he put my hands together and cupped his over mine. My panicked eyes kept darting around the room, They only focused on him when he called my name again.

"Bucky..."

He held my hands close, his eyes trained on mine. I was shaking, my breath was wobbly as I stared back at him. He kept whispering to me in order to calm me down.

He slowly lowered my hands, moving his hands to my cheeks. I closed my eyes and sniffled, I relocated my hands to his arms as he held me close.

"I'm here, James... You don't have to cry..."

He pulled me into an embrace, letting my head rest on his chest. I placed my hands on his chest, crying there. He had his hand on my head, holding me there as he rubbed my back.

The thoughts started to settle, Despite how smokey the memories were, I was able to see which were real, that I remember.

I was still upset though, I started to cry harder. I wanted comfort, I needed it. I nuzzled against him, wanting him to comfort me.

We pulled away, my hands still on his chest. Steve smiled at me, patting my cheek. My bottom lip quivered.

"Steve..."

I whimpered, He looked at me. Some strange feeling came over me, taking hold of my body. Comfort, I needed it. I felt like everything was a blur as I grabbed hold of his shirt, pushed him down and kissed him.