Yay~ chapter 11 is here~ I don't own Junjou Romantica but I do own this fanfic which is good well anyway let's see what happens in chapter 11 shall we?

Misaki POV

A doctor came into the room he had raven coloured hair and dark blue eyes, I he walked over to Usagi and began checking his health.

"I'm Dr. Kusama , I will be the one taking care of you Usami-San"

His voice was friendly but professional, when he noticed me he smiled at me kindly.

"Excuse me sir, could you leave this room for a little bit so there is room for more equipment to check on Usami-San?"

I was sad that I had to leave Usagi but I was grateful that Dr. Kusama explained why I had to leave. I nodded silently towards him the turned towards Usagi and smiled and left the room.

Please be okay Usagi..

Wait since we're here, we can ask them what they can do to make Usagi better!

I smiled to myself, happy that there could be an greater chance of Usagi getting better. I curiously placed my head on the door to listen in and sighed when I couldn't hear a thing. I moved away from it so there wouldn't be a repeat of me falling into the room again. I realized that I was much calmer then the last time I was here.

I guess it's because I know what's wrong with Usagi and it's not much of a surprise anymore. Also I guess being the one to force Usagi to come here also helps.

I looked at the clock ticking away, I began to get bored and wanted to go and explore the hospital. I shook the thought out of my head.

It'll just cause problems for others, plus if I'm gone when Dr. Kusama comes to get me Usagi might worry.

After a long time of boredom I heard the door click open, I got up from my crouching position and almost fell, luckily Dr. Kusama caught me by the arm.

"You okay?"

He had a worried tone in his voice. I then realized I recognized him from somewhere.

The flower shop!

"Yeah, It seems I sat too long and my legs fell asleep"

I laughed, Dr. Kusama laughed kindly.

"Usami-San wants to see you"

Of course he does

I smile at Dr. Kusama then go back to Usagi's side, he was sitting before like how I left him but he didn't look to happy.

"Usagi what's wrong?.."

I didn't like the look on Usagi's face, I made me feel like something was terribly wrong. He looked at me sadly and forced a smile.

"Takahashi-Kun.. It seems Usami-san's cancer has gotten worse from a sudden drop to his immune system that allowed it to spread, he now has less than a month now"

I froze at Dr. Kusama's words, I couldn't believe it, I didn't want to believe one word of it.

Sudden drop in his immune system..

The bridge..

It's my fault.. Usagi's closer to death because of me...

I...I'm killing Usagi!

I didn't stop him from smoking.. I made his immune system to drop.. Because of me...

It's all because of me..

I'm sorry Usagi..

"Oi Misaki!"

Usagi's call snapped me out of my thoughts, I smiled at him. Not wanting Usagi to notice how I know that he's dying because of me. I didn't want him to pity me or feel bad that I know it's my fault.

"Yes Usagi?"

Usagi looked at me with worry filling his lavender eyes.

Don't worry about me, worry about yourself Usagi..

"Misaki.. It's not your fault.."

I frowned, not happy that Usagi found me out so soon.

"Usagi.... It's fine.. I'm used to knowing when I'm to blame.."

I looked away from Usagi, unable to meet with his eyes out of fear he'll be able to peer deeper into my thoughts and feel worse.

I turned towards Dr. Kusama , with hope in my eyes.

"Is there any treatment you're able to give to Usagi to make him better?"

My heart sank when Dr. Kusama shook his head with a sad expression in his eyes.

"I'm afraid not.. If he was diagnosed sooner we would have gave him special treatment.. However right now there is nothing we can do but keep him alive, we can't get rid of his cancer, his lungs are too weak for any type of operation we could try to do. It would ultimately lead to a quicker death.. I'm sorry Takahashi-Kun"

I dropped to my knees, I didn't have the energy to stand.

Usagi can't be saved...

He's going to die for sure

It's all because of me..

Me being selfish and falling...

Me being selfish for making him worry

Usagi is going to die for sure because of me... Everything is my fault...

As always..

I should be the one dying.. Not Usagi..

His life's more valuable then mine..

I don't deserve to live.. I'm killing Usagi.. It's like I'm poison.. Causing trouble..killing..worry..selfish..

Usagi POV

A doctor came into the room, I recognized from the time I visited Hiroki. He walked over to me and began to check on my health. He seemed like a very kind person.

"I'm Dr. Kusama , I will be the one taking care of you Usami-San"

Seems Hiroki got himself a nice lover, I hope he'll be able to cool of that hot head of his

His voice was friendly but professional, when he noticed me he smiled at me kindly.

He smiled at my Misaki, as if trying to make him feel better. It would have bugged me if I didn't know that he was already in a relationship.

"Excuse me sir, could you leave this room for a little bit so there is room for more equipment to check on Usami-San?"

Misaki..

He looked really sad for a second then he smiled at me and left.

I don't want you to leave either Misaki..

When Misaki left Dr. Kusama pulled out a bunch of medical equipment. I understood why Misaki had to leave, if he stayed he would have been forced against the wall unable to move so that he wasn't in Dr. Kusama's way.

"Usami-San, how does your chest feel?"

I looked at the doctor, there was no reason at all to lie.

"I can't feel any pain at all, a hour ago it felt like It would be torn apart. But now I can't feel a single bit of pain inside me"

I noticed concern flicker across him, it was like he was thinking something.

"Usami-San.. That may be due to your nerves blocking away any pain sensors received from your lungs. It's probably due to your body wanting to protect itself hence destroy or eliminate the pain"

Dr. Kusama's explanation seemed to make a little sense, I remembered reading something about nerves sending signals.

Basically my body couldn't handle the pain, well at least Misaki won't fuss over me being in so much pain anymore.

"Usami-San I'm now going to do a few examinations on you're lungs to see how for the cancer has increased recently"

I nodded and just let Dr. Kusama do his thing with the machinery. After a long while he sighed as he looked at some results on paper.

"Usami-San... The cancer has indeed increased, has there been any reason for your immune system to drop so dramatically?"

I nodded, remembering when Misaki fell, I flinched at the memory.

Misaki is going to blame himself again..

Dr. Kusama told me how much time I had left then went to retrieve Misaki.

I heard something about falling and legs falling asleep and laughed slightly.

Misaki's always such a kid

I saw Misaki smile thankfully at Dr. Kusama before he came over to my side.

Misaki I'm sorry..

"Usagi what's wrong?.."

I couldn't bare to tell Misaki the news, I didn't want him to break because if me. I didn't want the nightmare I had to come true. I forced a smile towards Misaki, hoping that Dr. Kusama would tell Misaki the bad news. I was thankful and slightly sad when he did.

"Takahashi-Kun.. It seems Usami-san's cancer has gotten worse from a sudden drop to his immune system that allowed it to spread, he now has less than a month now"

I saw Misaki freeze, he had a look of horror on his face.

Oi Misaki, what the bells going in in that head of yours!

You better not be blaming yourself for something that isn't your fault!

"Hey Misaki!"

"..."

"Misaki!"

"...."

"Oi Misaki!"

I finally snapped my Misaki out of whatever awful thoughts he was thinking inside of his head. There was no reason at all for him to think that way at all. I hated seeing my Misaki hurt.

"Yes Usagi?"

I looked at my delicate and innocent Misaki sadly, knowing the thoughts he was thinking. He was the type of person who always found a way to blame himself. A very selfless person.

"Misaki.. It's not your fault.."

He frowned at me, I could tell he didn't believe me.

"Usagi.... It's fine.. I'm used to knowing when I'm to blame.."

Oh Misaki....

All your life you've blamed yourself for your parents death...

Don't tell me just like them you're going to blame yourself for my death..

Misaki looked away from me, as if afraid of me reading his emotions any more.

It's too late Misaki..

I already know you blame yourself..

Misaki turned towards Dr. Kusama he seemed to have a strand of hope glittering inside of his emerald eyes.

"Is there any treatment you're able to give to Usagi to make him better?"

Dr. Kusama shook his head and I saw that strand of hope inside of Misaki flicker away and replaced with despair.

Misaki.....

I'm sorry... If only I listened to you..

"I'm afraid not.. If he was diagnosed sooner we would have gave him special treatment.. However right now there is nothing we can do but keep him alive, we can't get rid of his cancer, his lungs are too weak for any type of operation we could try to do. It would ultimately lead to a quicker death.. I'm sorry Takahashi-Kun"

My poor Misaki dropped to his knees as if he didn't even have the strength to stand anymore.

Misaki...

I don't know how to end your suffering... I want to but I just don't know how...

Seeing you like this breaks my heart Misaki.. Please..get up.. Be strong.. Life for yourself.. Please Misaki.. Don't worry about me.. Live happily..

Me: that's the end of chapter 11 yay!

Misaki: ... What's there to be happy about Usagi's...

Usagi: Misaki... Please don't be sad...

Misaki: ... I can't help it the one I love is dying..

Usagi: ...Misaki....

Me: hope ya enjoyed the chapter~

Misaki: why enjoy? Usagi's..

Usagi: Misaki stop that! Think happy thoughts

Me: well anyway ja nē!